Freak Doctors


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ALARM BEEPS

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MAN SIGHS

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RADIO SWITCHES ON

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Mm, there isn't enough time.

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Don't!

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HE SIGHS DEEPLY

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We can still cuddle.

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SHE SIGHS

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SHE SIGHS

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-You all right?

-Yeah.

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Ah, Mrs Tembe, welcome back!

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-Thank you.

-Mrs Tembe.

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Mrs Hollins. I heard about your accident.

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How are you coping?

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Well, it hasn't been the easiest of thing to deal with, I will be the first to admit.

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It is an undisplaced proximal fifth metatarsal fracture.

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Could take months to heal cos I've got very bad circulation in that part of my foot.

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Well, if there's anything we can do to make you feel comfortable, please do not hesitate to ask.

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I'm sure she won't.

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Thank you, Mrs Tembe. That's very kind.

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So, your first holiday with JJ. How was it?

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The thing I love about first holidays with

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boyfriends is you are in each other's pockets, like sardines.

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So was it make or break, Mrs Tembe?

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Er... Oh, Dr Clay.

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-Mrs Tembe. How was your holiday?

-Yes, it was wonderful, thank you.

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I wanted to talk to you about the current building work.

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They're on schedule, aren't they?

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Yes, yes. They were here at eight o'clock on the dot.

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OK. Well, look, I'll meet you in there in five minutes and I'll fill you in.

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I'll put the kettle on.

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MACHINERY WHIRS

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Come on, Alfie. Just a bit more toast.

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Please?

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Now look what you've done!

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-What's going on?

-He's just thrown his toast onto the floor.

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It's OK, it's all right. There's no need to shout.

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I didn't shout. I was being firm.

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You don't like that much jam, do you?

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Hey! You haven't finished your breakfast.

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I've got work to do.

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SHE SIGHS

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SHE KISSES HIS HEAD

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I've got to be honest - even if my boob didn't hurt,

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I wouldn't really be up for it.

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I've lost it in that department. I really have.

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You've had a kid.

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Four years ago.

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You could fake it. I'm serious. Lots of women do.

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Until you get your mojo back.

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I don't want to fake it.

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Ignore them.

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-Freak!

-What was that?

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-Leave it.

-No way!

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The only freak round here is Serena Docherty.

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She doesn't let her husband see her without any make-up on, let alone naked!

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No, hang on. Do you know what? I couldn't give a damn what you think about me.

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I'm doing what's best for my child

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because that's what makes you a good parent, a grown-up!

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Perhaps it's time you all remembered that.

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If he hasn't got an alibi, bring him in.

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In fact, just bring him in anyway.

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And if he's in the White Bear, make sure there's someone round the back

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-cos he's prone to doing a runner out the toilet window.

-Yes, Sarge.

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Ayesha, hello.

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I'd like to report a missing person. It's Karl.

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It looks really sore.

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Has it flared up like this before?

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Yeah, but it's never been this bad.

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And when was the last time exactly?

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I can't really remember,

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not since he was a new-born, and he's four now, so a long time ago.

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Hang on.

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Are you breast-feeding a four-year-old?

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Yes.

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Wow.

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Is there a problem?

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No, no problem, just...why?

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This is the one place I didn't expect to be judged.

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-I'm not judging.

-Clearly, you are!

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Valerie, can you send this to St Phil's, please?

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-Right you are.

-OK. Poppy?

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Ruhma! What are you doing here?

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I work here and St Phil's.

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Well...great. It's good to see you.

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How's the baby?

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He's hardly a baby any more, so everyone keeps telling me.

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Is everything OK?

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What was he wearing, the last time saw him?

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Jeans and a T-shirt.

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-Colour?

-Green tee, black jeans.

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Does he have any tattoos or distinguishing marks?

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No.

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Do you think he's got any enemies or does he owe money to anyone?

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No.

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Do you think he might have contacted any of his army mates?

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-No.

-How do you know?

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Because I phoned them all. Look, I'm not an idiot.

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I've looked everywhere. That's why I'm here.

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OK.

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Dr Haskey shouldn't have made you feel uncomfortable.

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It's fine.

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He's meant to keep his views to himself.

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I overreacted, what with the other mothers at Alfie's nursery getting to me as well.

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How do you mean?

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They ignore me, whisper behind my back,

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call me names.

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Because you're breast-feeding?

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Yeah. I gave them a piece of my mind this morning.

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-Good for you.

-Well, it's not going to change anything, though, is it?

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Maybe I could handle it all better if me and Duncan were on the same page.

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Have you tried talking to him?

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It's all we ever talk about. Not about the mothers.

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He doesn't know about them.

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Poppy, you should report it.

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What can anyone do?

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If they don't want to talk to me, they don't have to.

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It'll probably all blow over anyway, once they find something else to gossip about.

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-You know what it's like.

-Yeah, I do.

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I'd better go.

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-Are you sure?

-Yeah.

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Thanks, Ruhma. It's really good to see a friendly face.

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What was Karl's behaviour like, the last time you had contact with him?

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How do you mean?

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Well, was he acting out of character?

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Well, yeah, I suppose. He's been a bit down.

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A bit down?

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-Yeah.

-Depressed?

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He's been unwell.

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Right.

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Is he on any medication?

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No.

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Is he on any other kind of drugs?

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-No.

-It could be helpful.

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Yeah, look, he's not Bren, OK?

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Sorry.

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I'm a crap sister.

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I didn't even know he was missing until yesterday.

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I thought he was with Debs.

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Rob, I really need your help.

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I don't know what else to do.

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I'm not going to lie to you, Ayesha,

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but we can't launch a full-scale search due to Karl's age.

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He's not considered vulnerable.

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But what I can do is make sure there is a full missing person's report on his file.

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But in the meantime, have you thought about going to look for him?

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What?

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A lot of servicemen - unfortunately, they end up on the street.

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But be careful, eh?

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Hey.

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Poppy Singher.

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No idea.

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You saw her this morning. Mastitis.

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Oh, right, yeah, yeah. The mother of the kid who's going to have

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real dependency issues when he gets into adulthood, going to spend a lot

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of time in therapy, and Poppy's going to end up paying for it all.

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-I can't believe that you've just said that!

-Why not?

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It's completely and utterly true, isn't it?

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There's no proof that extending breast-feeding is psychologically damaging, Al.

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Come off it!

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That kid is going to have conflicting memories when it comes to the...

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when it comes to the mammaries.

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What, memories of being comforted?

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Of being mollycoddled.

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Actually, evidence suggests that woman that do breast-feed children

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for longer - those children grow up to be more independent and confident.

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You say confident and independent, I say loner weirdos.

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Rubbish! OK...

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It's not like this woman is whipping it out at the school gates for all and sundry, OK?

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It is a private thing and you... you shouldn't have commented on it.

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I didn't comment. I was just a bit surprised and curious.

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It's not a crime to breast-feed an older child.

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How old we talking here - 12? 14? 32?

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I don't think a kid should be breast-feeding past the age that they can spell the word "milk".

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That woman is being bullied by other mums for breast-feeding,

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and your biased bedside manner - that's just compounded the problem.

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All right, fine. I'll give her a call.

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To apologise.

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To apologise.

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Some men sexualise the breasts so much that they project

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their own fantasies and insecurities on women that do breast-feed.

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Maybe you should think about exactly how you feel on that subject.

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BELL RINGS

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What is all this noise?

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What...?

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Toilet break. Sorry, no-one was around.

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What, you really can't go on your own?

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Well, it's the door.

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I keep imagining it swinging back and breaking my nose.

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Well...a bell is a very inventive solution.

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I will only use it for emergencies. I would prefer to be self-reliant.

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Of course you would.

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Which is why I have been looking into this.

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A knee scooter?

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Yeah. I could do all my own fetching and carrying.

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Still not sure about toilet breaks, though.

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Beats being summoned by a bell.

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Well, I will look into it.

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Karen, is there some tension between you and Mrs Tembe?

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She's really off with me at the minute.

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-Why?

-Can't say.

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-Can't even hint?

-No, sorry. Rob would kill me.

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Ooh.

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BELL RINGS

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Sorry, I still need to go. Actually, I'm quite desperate.

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So where did get all that info on Serena Docherty?

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I have my sources. She goes to my gym.

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I overheard some of them talking about her in the changing room.

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Don't they have anything better to do?

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They're bored housewives.

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I still don't get how they found out about me breast-feeding.

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Maybe Duncan told one of them.

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Or Alfie could have said something to his friends.

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Listen, Poppy, you're doing what's best for your child.

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You have to remember that.

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Hm.

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You've got a missed call.

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Oh, thanks.

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It's Dr Haskey.

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What does he want?

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I just... I went for a check-up.

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I got my funding.

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Another two years of dossing, then?

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Still jealous you didn't get on the course?

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I'd better go do what grown-ups do.

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-Playing at it, you mean?

-HE LAUGHS SARCASTICALLY

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-So funny.

-Yeah.

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I'll see you later.

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See ya.

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Do you want me to talk to him?

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I don't know.

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Poppy, you need to get back to the doctors.

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Are you ready?

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Can I please get the pumpkin risotto and some chips on the side, please?

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-No problem.

-And I will have the superfood salad, please.

-Of course.

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-Thank you.

-Thank you.

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Some of us haven't got the metabolism of a 17-year-old.

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You're joking? You look fantastic, as always.

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You've got that contented glow about you.

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Wish I was as loved-up as you and Heston.

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Ooh! Do you want to see a photo?

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No, I want to meet him.

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Yeah, well, you can any time.

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-Then why haven't I?

-Because you are always busy.

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I am not.

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OK, how about family dinner one night?

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How is Alia? Does she still want to be a doctor?

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Yeah, yeah. She's completely on track.

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So...Friday?

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I have a date.

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Mm?

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Actually, I can cancel it.

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No, don't cancel your hot date for us!

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Hot?

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He's probably going to have bad breath and wandering hands

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and continuously talk about his mother.

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Ew! Is dating that bad?

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Ruhma, it's torture.

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There's no way she's going to see that neanderthal!

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-Dr Haskey's not a neanderthal.

-It's all right, Martha.

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No, it's not all right. You need to see someone open-minded.

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Well, all I can suggest is you go to the campus surgery.

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They've got a drop-in there. You might have to wait.

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-Can you pick up Alfie?

-I'm staying with you.

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-OK. I'm going to call Duncan.

-Yeah.

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Hi, it's me. Can you pick up Alfie from nursery later?

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Nothing, it's just a routine doctor's appointment. Yeah.

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They made a mistake last time. Anyway, can you do it?

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OK, thanks.

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Come on, let's go to the other surgery.

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No, we're staying here. You're right.

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-No-one's going to bully me.

-OK.

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So we're in this restaurant

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and it's our second date, and he's telling me how much he likes me

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and how much he wants me to meet his mother. Yeah, red flag or what?

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And I'm telling him to slow down, you know, we're just getting to know

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each other, when his wife turns up, accusing him of having an affair

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with a string of women and that I'm welcome to him.

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-No!

-Yeah.

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She said she's going to go and stay at her sister's, and his kids are in the foyer.

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So what did he say?

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-He started crying.

-What?

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Right there, in the restaurant. He begs me to help him.

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Says what he needs is someone to take care of him,

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and that I fit the bill because I'm so together.

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So what did you say?

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I got the hell out of there and spent the night with a complete hotty.

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He's married, but he doesn't care.

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Don Draper - that's my booty call.

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SHE CHUCKLES

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So the bleeding's just part of the infection?

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Um, in some cases. It should clear up with the antibiotics.

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In the meantime, keep up with your feeding.

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-Really?

-Yeah.

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It'll help clear the blockage.

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Listen, um...

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I... I am genuinely sorry about before.

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My poor tact is the last thing you need

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on top of everything that's going on at the nursery.

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So I'm sorry.

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Ruhma told you?

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Yeah, I think it's bang out of order.

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It's fine. I can handle it.

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I can't do this any more.

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Hey, come on. Come on. You can't let the bullies get the better of you.

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Or listen to fools like me.

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It's not that. It's my husband.

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He just doesn't get it.

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It's... It's killing our marriage, if it hasn't already.

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-The breast-feeding?

-Yeah.

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Have you tried explaining to him why you're still doing it?

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He thinks I'm mollycoddling him. I'm not.

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Alfie asks for it. I never offer.

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He usually... He wants it when he's upset and he's been upset

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a lot lately, probably because of me and Duncan.

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It makes him feel better and I feel better because I'm giving him what he needs.

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It wasn't easy to have Alfie. He's going to be our only one.

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I just... I feel like, when we're together, I'm keeping him safe,

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protecting him. It feels right,

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for him and for me.

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And when it isn't right, then we'll stop.

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That's what you tell him.

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What?

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Exactly what you just said to me.

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He wouldn't get it.

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Why not?

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I did.

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It is the most ridiculous place to work.

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You love it.

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It's all right. I'm sorry.

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I've just been going on.

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It's fine.

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So how are you? How is work?

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-Yeah, really good.

-Good.

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I have way too much work than I can handle.

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That's great.

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Yeah, but it's the same type of work.

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I really want to diversify,

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so I've been talking to a couple of the local practices

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about the possibilities of having an on-site psychiatrist.

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That is a very good idea.

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-Really?

-Yeah.

-Because I'd like to ask you a favour.

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Go on.

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Could you get me an in with your practice manager?

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I really want to pitch to her.

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This isn't why I've asked to see you.

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And you've just spent the last 20 minutes going on about how great the Mill is,

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even if it is a bit crazy.

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I'd be a fool not to try, right?

0:18:310:18:33

-And I'd finally get a chance to meet Heston.

-Uh-uh.

0:18:330:18:36

Hi, is Poppy Singher here?

0:18:400:18:42

Duncan? She's still in with the doctor.

0:18:420:18:45

Her nipple was bleeding.

0:18:470:18:49

-I knew something was wrong.

-I know.

0:18:500:18:52

Isn't that a sign she should stop?

0:18:520:18:54

You know what she's like.

0:18:540:18:56

I can't do this any more.

0:18:580:19:00

She just doesn't listen to me.

0:19:010:19:02

She doesn't...

0:19:020:19:04

She doesn't appreciate you.

0:19:040:19:06

Why didn't you tell me you were bleeding?

0:19:150:19:17

It's just an infection.

0:19:170:19:18

So now you're going to stop, right?

0:19:180:19:20

Dr Haskey said I should carry on.

0:19:200:19:23

I don't believe you.

0:19:240:19:26

You see what I mean?

0:19:270:19:28

What have you been saying to her?

0:19:320:19:33

-KNOCK ON DOOR

-Come in.

0:19:350:19:37

Paperwork's finished. I'm going to leave now.

0:19:390:19:41

Yes, of course. And I...

0:19:410:19:43

I hope you find your brother soon.

0:19:430:19:45

Thanks.

0:19:450:19:46

KNOCK ON DOOR

0:19:480:19:50

Mrs Tembe, have you got a second?

0:19:500:19:52

Yes, yes, of course.

0:19:520:19:53

BELL RINGS

0:19:540:19:56

Is that a bell?

0:19:560:19:57

It is Miss Pitman's.

0:19:570:19:59

Do not worry, Mrs Hollins will deal with her.

0:19:590:20:01

OK, I'll be very quick.

0:20:010:20:03

I was wondering how you and the partners felt about the Mill

0:20:030:20:06

having an in-house psychiatrist?

0:20:060:20:08

Actually, the partners and I have been discussing the possibilities.

0:20:080:20:13

Great, so you'd be up for meeting a very talented and very experienced

0:20:130:20:17

psychiatrist who could help you make a decision?

0:20:170:20:20

Look, I know it sounds bizarre, and she is in a lot of pain,

0:20:240:20:28

but if she can keep breast-feeding, it will help with the healing process.

0:20:280:20:32

She should have told me how bad it was.

0:20:340:20:36

Maybe she was embarrassed.

0:20:360:20:38

Well, Martha should have told me, then.

0:20:380:20:40

Martha? That's Poppy's mate?

0:20:410:20:43

Martha's more my mate.

0:20:430:20:45

We did our Masters together.

0:20:470:20:48

She's been helping me talk to Poppy about this breast-feeding thing.

0:20:480:20:52

She thinks Poppy's taken it too far.

0:20:520:20:54

-Martha does?

-Yeah.

0:20:550:20:56

She's had a hard time getting through to Poppy.

0:20:580:21:01

No-one can.

0:21:010:21:03

Right.

0:21:030:21:05

She's just changed so much.

0:21:050:21:07

Maybe we're just not suited.

0:21:100:21:13

She doesn't get me any more.

0:21:130:21:14

But Martha does?

0:21:160:21:17

I want my wife back.

0:21:190:21:20

She still is your wife. She has valid reasons.

0:21:200:21:23

-If you could just listen to her...

-I have listened to her!

0:21:230:21:26

I listen to her all the time, telling me how Alfie needs it,

0:21:260:21:28

but that doesn't mean I have to like it, does it?

0:21:280:21:31

Because I don't.

0:21:310:21:33

I don't like that they're always together and they have their thing

0:21:330:21:35

and I'm not involved and shouldered away or kicked out

0:21:350:21:39

of the bed and made to sleep on the couch.

0:21:390:21:42

I feel bloody left out!

0:21:420:21:44

There you go. That's what you tell her.

0:21:450:21:48

So I was telling Megan all about you -

0:21:520:21:54

how amazing you are with the kids and how great you are in the kitchen.

0:21:540:21:58

She's really looking forward to tasting your culinary delights.

0:21:580:22:01

Oh, well, let's hope I live up to her expectations.

0:22:010:22:03

Of course you will.

0:22:030:22:04

Has anyone seen my bell?

0:22:040:22:06

Ooh, no, sorry. I haven't.

0:22:060:22:08

What's it look like?

0:22:080:22:09

Silver, it's about that big.

0:22:090:22:12

Looks like a bell.

0:22:120:22:13

No, can't say I have. I will keep my eye open.

0:22:130:22:17

I reckon one of the patients must have nicked it.

0:22:170:22:20

What would a patient want with a bell?

0:22:200:22:22

Well, it does look quite expensive.

0:22:220:22:24

Oh, give it a couple of days.

0:22:240:22:26

I'm sure it'll turn up.

0:22:260:22:28

-My mum left me that bell.

-Oh!

0:22:290:22:31

What's all this about a bell?

0:22:330:22:35

Haven't you heard it?

0:22:350:22:36

It sounds awful.

0:22:360:22:39

Which is why Karen has hidden it.

0:22:390:22:41

I haven't hidden it.

0:22:410:22:43

Seriously?

0:22:430:22:44

It was doing everybody's head in.

0:22:450:22:48

Well, if it's a family heirloom, you really ought to give it back,

0:22:480:22:50

otherwise you're nothing more than a common thief.

0:22:500:22:53

-Common thief!

-Common thief? That's a little bit harsh, isn't it?

0:22:530:22:57

Well, technically, it is theft.

0:22:570:22:59

Fess up, Karen Hollins!

0:23:000:23:02

THEY GIGGLE

0:23:020:23:05

Mrs Hollins is not going to say because she has got it all wrong!

0:23:050:23:09

And if you must know,

0:23:090:23:11

JJ has been questioned about his involvement in a recent spate of

0:23:110:23:14

cashpoint robberies and, yes, he does have a previous conviction,

0:23:140:23:18

but that does not mean he is guilty of this crime.

0:23:180:23:20

And I did expect better from you!

0:23:200:23:23

SHE CLEARS THROAT

0:23:230:23:25

We were talking about Valerie's bell. It's disappeared.

0:23:250:23:27

I'm sorry. I...

0:23:320:23:33

Actually, um, Heston and I were wondering if you and JJ

0:23:330:23:36

would like to come over for a meal one day next week?

0:23:360:23:39

We are dying to hear all about your holiday.

0:23:390:23:41

Er...yes. Yes, that is very kind.

0:23:440:23:46

Excuse me.

0:23:490:23:50

Dinner?

0:23:520:23:53

Yes!

0:23:530:23:54

Should I hide the silver?

0:23:560:23:57

Where have you been?

0:24:070:24:08

Around.

0:24:100:24:11

Poppy...

0:24:130:24:14

Whatever you decide, I'm still going to breast-feed.

0:24:140:24:17

Whatever you or those bullies think.

0:24:170:24:19

What bullies?

0:24:190:24:20

The other mothers at nursery. I wasn't going to tell you. Martha said you'd only use it against me.

0:24:220:24:26

-What?

-But it doesn't matter any more. I don't care.

0:24:260:24:28

Well, I don't care either.

0:24:280:24:30

Right.

0:24:320:24:34

I don't care about the breast-feeding. Not really.

0:24:340:24:37

You leave me out.

0:24:400:24:41

You're jealous?

0:24:440:24:46

I feel stupid and rotten.

0:24:460:24:48

It's how I feel.

0:24:480:24:49

Neither of you need me.

0:24:510:24:53

Of course we need you.

0:24:530:24:56

I need you.

0:24:560:24:57

I used to be really jealous of you and Martha.

0:25:000:25:03

I thought maybe you should have been with her

0:25:030:25:06

because you two have a thing.

0:25:060:25:08

-We don't have a thing.

-You do.

0:25:080:25:10

We've become friends. She's not a threat.

0:25:130:25:15

She's been my rock, actually.

0:25:150:25:16

I just feel like the only time you want to be with me is for sex.

0:25:190:25:23

Because I don't get to be with you in any other way.

0:25:230:25:25

I don't know.

0:25:260:25:27

I just didn't think it'd be this hard.

0:25:310:25:32

No, neither did I.

0:25:320:25:34

I just want to start again.

0:25:380:25:40

You know, there's going to be a time when he'll want to do boy stuff

0:25:500:25:55

with you and I'll be left out.

0:25:550:25:56

You won't. I'll teach you how to skateboard.

0:25:570:26:00

-SHE CHUCKLES

-I think I'll sit that one out!

0:26:000:26:02

PHONE RINGS

0:26:040:26:07

-Martha.

-Give it here.

0:26:080:26:10

I'm your rock.

0:26:170:26:18

Excuse me, have you seen this bloke?

0:26:290:26:32

SIREN WAILS IN THE DISTANCE

0:26:320:26:34

DOG BARKS

0:26:340:26:36

Thank you.

0:26:450:26:46

SIREN WAILS

0:26:460:26:49

DOG BARKS

0:26:490:26:51

-Excuse me.

-What?

0:26:580:27:00

He's the reason I was suspended.

0:27:000:27:01

I've got no time for hugs and hand-holding.

0:27:010:27:03

There is always time for hugs.

0:27:030:27:05

-That's what nurses are for.

-Whoa there!

0:27:050:27:07

-Don't you walk away from me, Adam!

-Look, I don't know you.

0:27:070:27:10

You said you loved me! This is your baby!

0:27:100:27:14

You could have been sleeping with her

0:27:140:27:15

the same time as your other mistress!

0:27:150:27:17

Are you kidding? I'm a doctor. I barely have time for one affair!

0:27:170:27:19

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