Stop All the Clocks Doctors

Yeah, I'll see what I can do.

No, I understand.

You can't do this!

You need to calm down or someone is going to get hurt!

-Oh, so now you're threatening me!

-No, I'm warning you.

I want a brief! Get your dirty great hands off me!

All right, but I may not have a cell by then.

Sent your bullyboy to do your dirty work, you coward!

-KNOCKING

-Shak?

Listen, I...

Ruhma!

Ruhma!

-KNOCKING Ruhma!

-Don't come in!

Isn't this a bit ridiculous?

It's supposed to be bad luck.

Very well. Your hair lady has arrived.

We're a bit strapped for time.

You all right in there?

Oh, to hell with this stupid superstition.

Where is he?

Well, we'll just have to hope that he turns up.

I need him there.

It's just sound and...

See! Right, his suit's gone! That's a good sign.

-If you say so.

-I do. Now your coiffeuse awaits

to make you look even more impossibly beautiful.

What are you doing? You're not meant to see her yet!

Go! Out!

-Where's Shak?

-He went out.

-Make sure he gets to the venue.

-OK.

-And on time!

-Yeah.

So now you're going to just lock me up and chuck away the key, right?

She was giving me nonstop abuse.

Followed by an unprovoked, violent assault. I had no choice.

-You liar!

-See what I've had to deal with?

Yeah, and now we've all got to deal with it!

-I said get off me!

-Calm down, Bren.

Don't tell me what to do!

Get that cell door closed!

I'm going to sue you!

I told you to turn up and keep everything calm!

-She provoked me.

-What do they teach you these days?

Couldn't you have nipped it in the bud?

You saw what she was like.

I know what she's like and now I'm stuck with her all night.

-Sorry, Sarge.

-Get back to your desk and do the paperwork,

and then get on with the stolen goods I told you about.

Oi! What about my phone call?

I know my rights. You can't just...

Flowers. Check. Place settings. Check.

-Hello!

-Oh, hello. Oh, you look lovely.

Cake, napkins, knives and forks. Check, check, check.

I knew you'd need a bit of help so I came early.

Oh, no, everything is in hand.

Oh, well, shall I sort the seating out?

Oh, no, it is all arranged.

That one hasn't got a name card.

Well, that one is a contingency.

Oh, someone cancelled?

It is possible that Shak might not be here.

Oh, and it's his mum's wedding!

Right, one last time.

-KNOCKING

-Come in.

For crying out loud.

Oh, the joys of technology.

Oh, you don't know how welcome that is.

Don't get used to it.

I won't, but thanks.

-How's it going?

-You know, I think this software is powered by steam.

I've not been able to upload one single report since I came in.

According to the support team, it's just teething trouble.

Yeah, well, that would make sense.

The guy I just spoke to at IT sounded like he'd just come

out of nappies.

And the new trainees they keep sending us, they're not much better.

Well, least it looks like it's going to be a quiet shift.

-What?

-Unexpected visitor.

Oh, right. Oh, uploading.

OK, I'll catch you up in a couple of seconds.

OK.

Uploading, uploading, come on. Don't rush.

Oh, for goodness' sake.

Karen, it's me.

Hello, me. Are you almost done?

I wish.

Listen, don't go off on one...

..but it looks like I'm not going to be able to make the wedding.

What? You said you were going to knock off early!

-That was before.

-Before what?

Before the cells got full and we were two officers down.

What am I going to tell Ruhma and Heston?

They'll understand. They'll have to.

Can't you call in a favour?

That Frank what's-his-face - he owes you.

I already have. No-one's free.

There's no point throwing your toys out of the pram, Karen.

I knew this was going to happen.

Oh, my! You look...

Amazing.

Very beautiful indeed.

Thank you. Is Shak here?

Well, hardly any of the guests have arrived yet.

But it is still very early.

I really do think it would be wise to consider a stand in.

I was thinking perhaps Sergeant Hollins?

He is strong, an authoritative figure.

A reliable, punctual...

There's been a bit of a hitch.

I don't think Rob is going to make it.

It's fine. Thank you, it's really kind,

but Shak is going to be here.

It's just the answer-machine.

Listen, why don't we split up?

-See if we can find him.

-Good idea.

I will make sure that everyone goes into the marriage room.

-DISTANT:

-Come on! You can't do this!

That sounds like Bren.

Yeah, arrested courtesy of our overzealous new boy, Constable Watson.

Does Ayesha know?

She's waiting out front. I've been putting it off.

Let someone else do it.

You're at the end of your shift.

I'm not. We're short-staffed.

You're going to miss the wedding to do a double shift with Bren?

It's our lucky day.

What state is she in?

I've marked her down as aggressive and abusive.

She's a bit hyped up so I'm going to let her calm down before

-she's interviewed.

-Do I need to examine her?

No signs of injuries or drug use, so I don't think it's necessary.

Unless, of course, you are keen for a catch up?

To be honest, I'd rather stick pins in my eyes.

We'll leave it, then. Let sleeping dogs lie.

Indeed.

Hi. Are we too early?

No. You are commendably prompt.

There's champagne in the bar. Help yourself.

Thank you!

So how did you escape your stalker patient?

All alone in a small space with sexy, young Dr Vere,

who's so gentle, and caring and interested...

I was interested, but not in dating her!

I did try to explain about professional boundaries.

Because you're such a stickler for those!

Yeah, at least you're not a patient!

PHONE RINGS

Hello? Right. Yeah, I'm on my way.

Could you pass on my apologies?

-KNOCKING

-Come in.

I was making myself one so I thought I'd...

What is it, my birthday?

I haven't finished the last one you brought me yet.

Yeah, anyway.

Is she any calmer?

Stupid question.

How did it go with Ayesha?

I'm just on my way.

-Right. Good luck.

-Yeah.

Right, thank you, Mr Whitby, if you'd like to just go that way.

Have you found him yet?

He's not here. Yet.

-There must be a suitable replacement for Shak on this list.

-Problem?

No, everything is fine, Dr Sharma.

Would you like to make yourself comfortable?

Maybe we could ask one of Heston's old mates.

Yes!

Or does it even have to be a man?

I'm just saying, in this day and age...

Look, just leave everything to me!

Everything is going to go according to plan.

Has anybody heard from Nurse Lee?

Hi, everyone. Everything OK?

-Yes, we are just ironing out a few minor details.

-OK.

Well, let us know if there's anything Zara can do to help.

Marriage room, first left.

Thank you.

This place looks classier than I expected.

Have you ever considered...?

-Daniel...

-I'm just saying, maybe one day.

I wouldn't want to get Joe's hopes up -

he already asks far too many awkward questions.

-Well, why not make him happy, then?

-Who said it would make him happy?

OK. It would make me happy.

Are you saying that you are unhappy living in sin with me?

-No.

-Exactly.

Right, that's it, I'm done waiting!

Get someone out here to speak to me now!

-Open this door!

-You need to calm down.

-Or what?

-Or you won't get to see your solicitor.

Better.

Oh, you've cracked that stolen-goods case already, have you?

Not yet, Sarge. The daughter is here.

She wants to see you.

-Yeah, I know.

-Eeesh! Eeesh!

Dr Carter! Finally!

Everything OK?

No, - unfortunately, Shak is not here.

-Really?

-We need to find somebody else.

Why can't things go right, just for once?

Please, I know it is not ideal -

perhaps we can ask your friend, Monty.

On our wedding day? Ruhma probably won't go through with it.

Dr Carter, please just listen.

-I found him! He's in the garden.

-Oh, thank heavens.

I think something is wrong - he hasn't said a word to me.

Do you think he's going to actually come in?

No idea.

I'll talk to him.

You go and tell your mother that we are about to start.

Why have I been kept waiting so long?

Sorry, it's been busy.

Just because Mum's got a record doesn't mean you can lock her

up whenever you feel like it!

-Firstly...

-Don't tell me to calm down, Rob!

Your mum was abusive and aggressive.

-I'll sue you for wrongful arrest!

-Don't push it, Ayesha.

Then don't fob me off. I've had enough!

Last warning otherwise you're going to end up in the cell next to hers.

Why can't you just let her go?

The sooner she calms down, the sooner she gets out of here.

Go on, have a good gawp!

Come on, Ayesha, that's not helping anything.

Bet you're loving every minute of this, aren't you?

Why don't you come back in the morning?

I need to see her.

That's not going to happen.

Please, I just want to know she's OK.

She's OK. We'll take good care of her.

I won't forget this, you know?

Shak!

Are you coming in or what?

We haven't got time for this.

-Your mum's really worried.

-I know! I know! OK?

What's the matter?

All right, look.

I screwed up my exams.

Was it that bad?

I didn't even finish two of the papers.

And in Business Studies, there was this question on

Operational Management and I didn't understand what it meant.

I mean, like, no clue whatsoever!

So what did you do?

Skipped it. Wasn't the only one, either.

Even if my other answers were all right,

there's no way I've passed.

I've screwed the whole lot up.

Why didn't you tell us?

You know, you guys were going on about the wedding all the

time and all I could think about was that I've let Mum down.

Look, it's probably not as bad as you think it is.

But if it is, you can retake.

I suppose.

And I'll help you. You'll be fine.

Thanks, Heston.

So...

..back to today.

Yeah, back to today.

Sarge?

Got a result!

Cross referenced the stolen goods with the resellers and the

same name keeps cropping up.

-OK.

-So I called the last victim, he's on his way now so we can get

a positive ID on what was stolen from him.

Could lead to an arrest.

Good. But we are a bit snowed under.

Trail could go cold by Monday.

If you say so.

Go on, then - what's the name of this Master Fence?

Hanif. Ruhma Hanif.

What's happening?

Ruhma's got cold feet?

No, she's here already.

I heard there's a problem with Shak.

-Was he giving her away?

-I don't know, I imagine so.

So where is he?

He won't let us down.

Everything all right?

Yes, yes. Just a few more minutes, please.

Of course, only I should mention that I do have another

appointment afterwards, so I can't delay too long.

I understand. We are going to start very soon.

-I can't find Shak.

-He was in the garden.

He came in to get changed, but he's disappeared again.

Mum says she won't go ahead without him.

This isn't happening.

Problem?

No. Not at all.

100% sure this is your stolen item?

It's been in my family for years.

One of a kind and of huge sentimental value to me.

It's worth a few quid, too, I imagine.

Presumably you've made some progress.

We have a suspect.

Then why haven't you arrested them?

It's not quite that simple, Mr Oldershaw. There's procedure.

Don't waffle at me, I'm a magistrate.

I play golf with Chief Inspector Hardwicke twice

a week and we've already had a chat on the phone.

If you want to get on in this job, may I suggest that procedure

moves rather more quickly than usual in this case?

I'll see what I can do, sir.

Yes, you will.

And I'll have a cup of tea while I'm waiting, too.

So, did Shak actually say he was coming inside?

I think so.

Then where is he?

-I think we may have to ask Dr Carter's friend.

-No.

-I only want...

-Shak!

Sorry. Needed a slash.

Right. Are we ready? Let's go.

Done with the interview?

Yep. Mr Oldershaw's ID is cast iron on that clock.

I want this woman arrested.

Mr Oldershaw, it just so happens that I know this woman.

She's a midwife at Saint Phil's.

And there has to be some kind of mistake - there's

no way she can be involved.

She'll need to prove that.

-Trust me.

-Her name comes up six times, Sarge.

-Let's just hold fire until...

-Until what?

She's not above the law just because you happen to know her!

At this very moment,

she's just about to get married at Haseldine Hall. I just can't...

You most certainly can!

PHONE RINGS

I told you, I am running late already!

Just give me a minute!

-Custody.

-I'm warning you, officer!

Yes, not you. I'll get around to it. I'll call you back in a minute.

Constable!

Constable Watson!

It is all very straightforward.

Yep. Got it, it's just walking!

Yeah. Even you couldn't mess that up.

The registrar says it's now or never.

It's now.

PHONE RINGS

Rob?

Don't talk, just listen. Now you're not going to believe this.

There is a Constable Watson on his way over to you now,

to arrest Ruhma.

Very funny.

I wish it was a joke, but I'm being deadly serious.

There's been some massive mix up over some stolen goods,

but it's out of my hands.

-There's nothing I can do.

-Well, how does he even know where she is?

-Hang on a minute. What am I supposed to do about it?

-I don't know,

but I thought I better tell you.

-Rob!

-Love, I've got to go. Bye.

No, no!

Is everything all right?

No, not really.

What is it?

Rob's just told me that the police are on their way to arrest Ruhma.

What? What?

But surely this must be a mistake!

-What's she done?

-I don't know. Something to do with stolen goods.

What sort of stolen goods?

Are we talking paintings?

-Jewellery?

-I didn't ask!

Ruhma doesn't look like a fence.

But then what do fences look like?

How long do we have?

They're on their way now. Maybe we should...

Can you go outside and stall the police?

I will stay in here and try to create a diversion.

I'll hurry the registrar up.

Dr Carter and Sister Hanif will leave this building married. Agreed?

BOTH: Agreed.

Go!

Thank goodness you're here! Quick, follow me!

-Sorry?

-I'm the manager. It's terrible.

-What is?

-The guy, he went this way.

-Who?

He stole my handbag.

Did you say you're the manager?

Right, I don't know what you think you did or didn't see,

but I'm here on police business.

No! Wait!

He's armed and extremely dangerous.

-Armed?

-No. No, you can't go in. It's health and safety.

Get out of my way or I'll arrest you.

MUTTERING QUIETLY

MUSIC: The Bridal Chorus by Richard Wagner

-ZARA:

-Finally.

-I was beginning to wonder.

Yeah, you weren't alone.

-Wow. She looks...

-Fantastic.

Ready?

Thank you, everyone, for coming to witness this ceremony.

We are here to witness love...

..sealing an unbreakable bond between Heston and Ruhma.

A bond of strength and commitment we hope will bind them together

for the rest of their lives.

He's coming round the back.

I need to get in that door, please.

I am so sorry, officer...

-WHISPERS:

-..but there is a wedding in progress.

To have and to hold, to love and to cherish.

Through good health and bad.

This is official police business. Stand aside.

Officer, please just think about this.

If you interrupt them, now you will be ruining two people's

special day, let alone destroying two people's lives forever.

I do solemnly declare that I know not of any lawful impediment

why I, Heston Bradford Carter, may not be joined in

marriage to Ruhma Ana Hanif.

Please! If you go now you will destroy it forever!

Please, please, officer. If you can find it in your heart

to wait one more minute.

-He is very rude!

-Where's the key?

And I do solemnly declare that I know not of any lawful impediment

why I, Ruhma Ana Hanif, may not be joined in marriage

to you, Heston Bradford Carter.

Surely you would not go against God's will?

Rather that than the inspector's.

You should be ashamed to wear a uniform! You jumped-up...

Sorry! Mrs Tembe's just dealing with someone. Ignore it.

Carry on!

I, Heston Bradford Carter, take you,

Ruhma Ana Hanif, to be my wedded wife.

BANGING ON THE DOOR

-What's going on?

-I've got no idea.

Give it to me.

Don't push it. She will bite.

I will arrest you for obstruction.

Bren?

Bren!

Bren!

ALARM RINGS

And do you take him to be your...?

Husband! Say it!

Yes, I do! I do!

I'm pleased to declare you, man and...

Ruhma Hanif?

..wife.

Come on, Bren!

Come on, Bren!

I just found her here, she's not breathing.

There's no pulse. How long have you been doing CPR?

A few minutes. I mean, one minute she was asleep...

Right, I need the defibrillator. Call the ambulance.

Come on!

Ruhma Hanif.

I'm arresting you on suspicion of receiving or handling stolen goods.

You do not have to say anything,

-but it may harm your defence...

-Are you insane?

I don't understand.

Is this some kind of sick joke?

It may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned

something which you later rely on in court.

You can't do this!

Sorry, I want your name, rank and number!

Anything you do say may be given in evidence.

Let go of my wife.

Obstructing a police officer is an offence.

Trust me, I will arrest you, too, if necessary.

Heston, don't please.

That goes for all of you! Back off!

This is outrageous!

OK, next try.

Adrenaline, 1 in 10,000.

No. Nothing.

Clear.

Still nothing.

All right, clear.

No. Nothing, I'm sorry.

Drugs haven't worked. I don't think there's anything more we can do.

-We can't just give up on her.

-Rob? Rob!

-No.

-Rob?

No.

I'm calling it.

Time of death, 18:55.

Damn it.

How could this have happened in custody?

-I don't know.

-You checked on her regularly, didn't you?

Yes.

I don't know.

I don't remember.