Tyler Moon's surprise arrival in Walford brings chaos to the Vic and has upsetting consequences for Eddie. Carol and Ian are aghast when Shirley lays down the law.
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-Just looking in the fridge. I can do you a sausage sandwich or some cheese...
-Wonderful family you have.
-Sorry, I didn't mean to...
-That's my son.
I didn't know you had a son. He looks like trouble.
Sorry, Carol, I'm talking from personal experience.
He died last year.
I'm so sorry.
Carol, I didn't want to...
-Is it milk, one sugar?
-You must miss him so much.
Oi! Watch the cloth, moth.
New whistle, this!
-I don't care what you do with him, just leave me out of it.
-Well, well, that didn't take long, did it?
It's almost like he's had practice.
I'll have a word.
-Have you heard from Tamwar?
-Don't you think we should talk?
-About what was said - at the Mehndi?
Nothing was said at the Mehndi. Nothing.
MOBILE PHONE RINGS
He wants to know what time to be at the registry office.
Have you heard from yours?
Or your mum, for that matter?
-Your parents, have you heard from them?
Er, no. I've been thinking...
We don't have to go through with it today if you don't want to.
It's not like we have a choice, is it?
Just because we got married at the mosque doesn't make it legal.
Yeah, I know, that's what I meant.
It's been a bit of a nightmare for everyone,
and I just sort of wonder whether it wouldn't be better
if we just leave it.
-Is that what you want?
-No, I thought it might be what you want.
Of course it isn't.
-I love you.
-I love you.
Besides...you wouldn't want to miss out on our honeymoon now, would you?
What are we going to do about our parents?
We uninvite them.
We've come this far on our own, haven't we?
I don't care if you and my gran...you know.
I mean, it would be kind of sick,
but you don't have to keep pretending to hang out with me.
Is that what you think?
Listen, I want to tell you...
I think you're a top bloke,
and I've got a real kick out of being your mate.
I'd hate that to change,
just because I want to get to know your gran too.
Hey, I can't force you to be mates with an old geezer like me, can I?
We could have a kick about after school.
You've got the knack.
-It's just adults I have a problem with.
Look, I was thinking, if you're at a loose end later,
I could probably fix you something at the caff, you know, make up for lunch.
Oh, not in the doorway.
-Did you hear me?
-How old are you, Shirley?
-I don't really see that's any of your business,
but are you suddenly taking an interest in my health?
Smoke yourself to death for all I care, just don't do it in my doorway.
Interesting choice of words, that - your doorway. Since when did this place belong to you?
It might as well do, the amount of work I do here. Can you move out, or I'll call the police.
Carol...I'm your new boss.
Yeah, that's right. This place - it belongs to me.
Now, I think we need to have a little word about your attitude problem.
The official term is...
-that it stinks.
-Not your day, is it?
I'll catch you later.
-FRONT DOOR SLAMS
Blimey, you've got enough kit in here for an army.
Oh, I know, just some things I picked up on the way.
What am I going to find next, Aladdin's lamp?
-Are you OK with it? You can chuck it out if you want.
-No, no, course not.
-No, it's good stuff. Besides, we might need extra, when we have visitors.
-When we have visitors?
Yeah, it's nice, innit? Got our own place, show people around...
-Nothing wrong with that, is there?
Oh, here you are.
-What's that for?
-I saved a bit from my Jobseeker's.
I was going to get a few things for in here, but then I thought you need treating.
-What am I going to spend it on, then?
-I don't know, go and see Tanya, get your nails done...
Have one of them facial things.
-The only rule is, you've got to enjoy yourself, agreed?
So you won't even talk to her?
-After what she's done, why should we?
-He's got a point.
-I thought we agreed I'd handle this.
Sorry, Syed, but we've made up our minds. It's just going to be the two of us and the registrar.
-You'll need witnesses.
-We'll get them off the street.
-But I get to choose.
-I get final veto.
-Because you'll just think it's funny to pick weirdos.
-So? I like weirdos, that's why I married you.
Guys, this isn't a game! You might think you don't care now, but what if you look back and regret this?
I thought you'd be the last person lecturing us on family togetherness.
-Mum didn't talk to you for over a year, or have you got amnesia?
-And again, he's got a good point.
So what, you're not going to have any family there at all?
It's nothing against YOU, OK?
It's just after everything, the last thing we want is a big fuss.
-Can't you see I've got my hands full?
-How much am I paying you?
-Yeah, well, it'll be even less if I don't get a coffee within 30 seconds.
And she would not want to see me without my coffee, would she, Philip?
Hang on a minute.
-I'm not happy with that.
-Don't push it, Shirley.
-What are you going to do, quit?
-Don't tempt me.
Oh, yeah, I forgot, there's a load of highly-paid jobs out there, ain't there, for women your age?
Now, that wasn't too hard, was it?
-I've created a monster.
-I'm not giving you any of the credit.
Here, Carol, do you know anything about the bloke painting the sign?
-He reckons the owner got him to do it.
-Come back, Ian, all is forgiven.
-I'm calling Jane.
-I wouldn't bother.
-Because, this place, it doesn't belong to her now.
It belongs to me.
No, that's what I'm... You what?
-I bought it.
What, Jane sold the place to you?
-That's what happens when you screw over your wife, Ian.
-No, no, she wouldn't do that to me.
Er... Rainie wants to meet up later.
-Why don't you ask her to come down here?
Oh, I see...
-Most men, when they've got a guilty conscience, they buy their other half flowers.
Phil's obviously got more to make up for.
-I just want five minutes.
-No-can-do, all right?
What you saw earlier, I wanted to explain.
-Carol and I...
-No. No, I'm going to stop you there,
because a conversation with Roxy's toddler is more interesting than your bogging love life.
You can't keep ignoring me like this.
We live on the same square, for God's sake.
It's a situation that's working for me.
So I don't know, unless you want to move, what else are we going to do?
What harm would five minutes do?
Do you fancy a coffee?
Well, what did he say?
I'm sorry, Ma... I tried to explain,
but they've decided to go on their own.
Maybe we should do something instead.
You know, go out for a walk, have some lunch. Take your mind off it.
I'm far too busy, Syed.
But, if there's nothing else then...
-It's hard work, isn't it?
What are you talking about?
Your dad. Sorry, I couldn't help but overhear.
I don't hate him, he's just a no-mark.
You know, I don't see how this has got anything to do with you, frankly.
Well, because I care about Roxy.
And I suppose I know what it's like to have a difficult relationship with your dad.
-Here we go. Now you wish you had a chance to have some sort of touching reunion with him.
-No. Not at all.
Archie was a malicious man and the world is a better place without him.
-I mean, can you really say the same about Eddie?
-What is this - Top Trumps for rubbish dads?
No. Look, I'm not saying that you don't have good reason for not wanting to speak to him.
Then what are you saying?
I think you know.
Come on, Jane, be reasonable.
It's Phil Mitchell!
Well, he's gone and given the place to Shirley, hasn't he!
That woman wouldn't know food hygiene if it jumped up and smacked her in the mouth!
Well, tear it up.
Look, I tell you what, I'll give you more money for it, OK?
Listen, I'll run it for you...
What, you think I'm a mug?
-I eat for free now. Tell her, Shirl...
-Nice try, sunshine.
No, look, just let him have it. Just this once, eh?
-Well, I ain't.
-I never said you were.
This place is like an insurance policy. Phil steps out of line, I've got this.
So you're going to wait and see how it goes out between them?
You've got something cooked up, have you?
-What, you're going to spike her drink?
-Keep your voice down.
I've got to play this one really carefully.
Are you all right? Do you want something?
No, you can't paint it black!
And I'm going to put a stuffed animal head up there
-and maybe a couple of skulls hanging from the ceiling.
-Oh, very funny(!)
-I'm going to change the menu, get rid of that tuna cheese thingy...
-The tuna melt?! That's a classic.
And I'll be changing the name...
Phil @ Shirl's. Yeah, that's got a kind of ring to it.
You can't just erase the history of a place like this... It runs in people's veins.
Ask anyone round here what this place means to them...
Carol, sum this place up in one word.
Look it's my mum, all right? Kathy. That's who people remember here.
Not for much longer.
Shirley, look, you haven't got the first idea about running an eating establishment.
I'm telling you, it's going to be like watching a horror film and I've got a front-row seat.
I'll be there to listen out for the screams.
So, I'm off to the Arches - is it all right if she sits there for a bit?
Yeah, it's fine.
Sandwich wouldn't go amiss. Maybe cheese and pickle?
Phil said it'd be on the house.
And would you like a drink with that?
Orange juice, ta.
It's going well then, this place?
What's this kid like - any good?
He's all right.
That's where the money is.
Train 'em up from youngsters and hope that they turn pro.
That's really enlightening. Thanks, Dad(!)
Well, I don't mean to patronise.
You've always had a good brain on you. And it's obviously in your blood.
You've seen the photos of me in the ring.
Yeah, yeah, you could call this place an homage(!)
You done well for yourself.
Spotted a gap, got right in there... It's brave.
Bet it's popular too.
Ex-copper like your mate Jack running the shop.
You more the money man, I'm guessing?
Yeah. You looking for a retirement fund?
Nah, just wanted to see what you were up to.
I'm proud of you.
I know I have no right to be, but there it is...
It's beautiful stuff, really moving.
But when you're done sucking up, I need to get on.
But one day,
you'll know how this feels.
Got your own ticking mini-me right there.
You think you hate ME?
That's nothing compared with how that boy's going to feel about you,
the way you treat him.
You've got one massive grudge coming your way.
You'd do well to mind your own business.
Michael, you're not that young any more.
-I was younger than you when your mother passed.
HOW DARE YOU!
She didn't pass...
What kind of word is that for it?
You killed her. YOU killed her, with your neglect and your wandering eye.
You are the reason,
you are the reason why she couldn't take it no more.
Don't insult me, there ain't no maybe about it.
And don't pretend you've changed.
Coming round here like some reformed character just cos you've got a bit of grey in your hair,
because I see through you.
You're so full of anger.
I get that,
I used to feel the same way.
Pent up, trapped,
not knowing which way to turn.
Always one foot out the door.
The difference is, I choose not to get pinned down, all right?
I don't pretend I'm any different.
But you have a girlfriend.
You may want to ignore him, but you also have a son.
Shut up! I'm nothing like you!
I pity you, Michael.
Yeah. I remember when I was your age...
It wasn't a happy time.
Look, I understand why you resent me.
Don't you think I haven't felt the same way?
But I want to make it up to you.
-There's still time.
No, there isn't. There isn't.
Just pretend I never existed.
I wish I could, but I can't.
Well, you've done all right till now, ain't you?
You didn't even know I was here till you come knocking.
But why do you think I've stuck around?
I want to get to know you, Michael,
more than anything.
What about the other lot?
They hate you as well, don't they?
-No, they're fine.
If you want, I'll tell you about them.
At least give me a chance.
Meet me at the caff at five. Cup of tea.
You can spend the time drinking it, slagging me off, or I don't know...
Maybe we can have a conversation.
Move things on.
The ball's in your court.
You look tired, Dad.
Yeah, it's the beds - too soft.
So what time does it kick off?
Yeah, about that...
Me and Afia, we...
Yeah, you don't want your dad there showing you up - that it?
No, it's not you, we just...
It's all got so messy
and we just thought best thing would be if we do it on our own.
You're not mad?
Although if I were you I'd check your flies before you go in. Ah!
-You want to stop your father from seeing you get married?
-But you were all for moving.
-But I'm still here!
-I stayed to support you.
-I'm not saying we don't want you to be in our lives.
Then why does it feel like a slap in the face?
-Are you trying to punish me?
-Just for today,
try and understand.
What would your mother say?
Don't, Dad, don't...
She'd be devastated to think that her only daughter
was getting married in an empty room.
If she was here
I wouldn't have to, would I?
What're you doing?
-Did you not go to the salon?
-Yeah I did, but it was fully booked.
You're upset, what's happened?
-It doesn't matter.
-It matters to me. Has someone said something?
Who was it? Tanya?
No, not really her fault, is it?
-Billy, look at me. I probably scared half her customers away.
-Is that what she said?
-Not in so many words no, but...
-Cheeky cow. She's got some front, ain't she?
It's OK, it doesn't matter.
It matters to me!
Do you want a cup of tea or something? You know, forget about it.
I don't know how you do it?
I ain't exactly cracked it, have I?
No, I mean...
I know how you feel.
You know, that need. It's like an ache, innit?
After a long, suffering day...
Or sometimes not even after, sometimes during,
all you want is to just swallow a bit of vodka and...
..you know, feel your chest open up.
Get that hazy feeling, take the edge off things, that buzz.
It makes you feel like you can do anything, don't it?
-I'm sorry, I shouldn't have...
-No, it's just...
-better not to talk about it.
-I thought that's what these groups were for?
You did say orange juice, didn't you? Only...
you've not touched it.
You don't choose 'em cos you want 'em...
You choose 'em cos it makes other people feel better.
That what Phil says?
Yeah. It's a meeting thing.
So, Phil, does he do the, "I'm Phil Mitchell, I'm an alcoholic"?
We all do.
I mean, he doesn't, like, pour his heart and soul out and stuff,
but yeah, he's getting into it.
Sometimes it's just about being there...
You know, being in a room where everyone understands what it's like when you can't stop.
You know, it's like a weird bond.
You don't have to put it into words.
-I'm really sorry.
I'll get you another one.
Well, I'm going to make sure you always get her, you know,
cos she has a bikini wax...
-Oi. Oi, what makes you think you're so special, eh?
Just because she hasn't got the clothes and the la-di-da attitude,
-what gives you the right to look down on her?
Our money is as good as anyone else's, all right?
Discrimination, that's what this is.
You wouldn't have turned her away cos of the colour of her skin, but it makes no difference...
-Billy, just let me...
-Chav, that's what you thinking, innit? I'm not standing for it, Tan.
Billy! Will you shut up!
-Look, Julie never even came in to the salon.
-Yeah, well she's lying, ain't she?
And since your money's as good as anyone else's you can buy our drinks.
We'll have two white wines please, Tracey. Apology accepted.
Let me get the door for you.
There you are. I thought it was going to go cold.
Why did you say Tanya turned you away?
Are you hiding something from me, Julie? Cos I don't like being lied to.
And this from the man who's ashamed to be seen with me.
-Look, I'm sorry OK,
but I don't do all that girly thing - the hair and the make-up. It's just not me.
If you don't think I'm good enough for you, then I'll just pack my bags and I'll go right now, shall I?
You soppy mare.
Is that what you think?
Course you're good enough, Julie! I just wanted to treat you, that was all.
Yeah, well, I'm just not very good with all that silliness.
-Is it good?
Yeah, it is good.
It's a waste of money, innit?
Give me a fish-and-chip supper any day of the week.
-Where's Phil's shadow?
-In the bog.
Listen, have you done it yet?
Right, three words - food hygiene certificate.
Two words - my gaff.
So what time do you want me tomorrow?
-My first shift.
-Are you working here?
-This gets better and better. It'll be a crack den by next week.
-You're not serious?
This is going to be fun.
-Thought you wanted to get rid?
-I've changed my mind.
Because I am one clever cookie.
Are you OK?
-Please. Please, stop asking me that.
-OK. I'm OK.
-Sorry, didn't have time to get a hat.
-What're you doing here?
Say if you want us to leave, but... I don't like the look of those two weirdos.
-Nah, you'll definitely do.
-Is that meant to be a dig?
You'll have to get used to her sense of humour now she's your sister-in-law.
Uh-oh, I'm in trouble.
Looks like you could do with one?
Don't worry, it won't last. She'll get bored.
I never knew she hated me so much.
She hates everyone.
I meant Jane.
This ain't just any old motor, darlin'.
This beautiful machine is worth serious wedge.
-Sweetheart, do I look like the kind of fella goes around bragging about his packet?
But ballpark... Six numbers.
-Wait till Darren sees this.
-Yeah, who's Darren?
What are you doing with my Jag?
Here, wait! I didn't even get your name!
Jodie. And Darren's my fiance.
What are you doing here, you reprobate?
Hello? You're staying in a boozer. Do think I'm going to pass up an opportunity like that?
-There's me thinking you're missing your old dad.
-Well, and that.
-So, I reckon you own me pint.
-Delivering your car.
All right, one pint.
But if I find so much as a fingerprint on the paintwork, you're going to pay for a re-spray.
Have you got a tissue?
Well, it's emotional.
I'm sure he's on his way.
So I'm standing on the window ledge wearing this thong
and it ain't doing the job of a more...supportive undergarment, if you know what I'm saying?
-Anyway, the blonde, Sophie...
-Sophie's the blonde? I thought that was Gemma?
It could be. Anyway, she's getting rid of her old man
and we're nearly in the clear, when there's this screaming.
-It's the next-door neighbour, thinks I've come to molest her.
What time is it?
All right, bruv?
I was just on my way over.
-How about a pint instead?
You've had your chance, you blew it. Never again. And you...
..don't call me bruv.
-KNOCK AT DOOR
Fresh pair of hands?
Hey, come on, big fella.
Whoa, you need to give your mum and dad a bit of peace,
-Shhh, stop it!
-He's sleepwalking! It's the second time he's done it this week!
-Shouldn't we wake him up?
No, no! You can't cos they can have fits or heart attacks or something.
What shall we do?
Go and pull his pyjama bottoms down!
-You can't do that!
-You can, he'd do it to me!
OK. Just make sure he doesn't use the sink as a bog....again. OK?
Roxy! Don't leave me with him!
Come on... Come back upstairs.
That's it. OK?
It's OK. You're sleepwalking.
You've had an accident.
Come and sit down. Take a chair.
OK, hold on a second.
Let me look at your finger.
What did I do?
I don't know what's worse...
the shards of glass or the bite marks.
LOUD MUFFLED MUSIC
What?! This is a wind-up!
I'm sorry, mate.
This has got to be a wind-up.
Jean, keep your voice down!
In case they don't like getting wet?! This better be good.
-Listen, calm down, OK! What kind of burglars play music?
Jeanie, you stay upstairs.
We'll sort this out.
-Your music is well lame!
What a racket! Alfie, how do you turn this off?!
All right, I've got it, I've got it!
-I thought I gave you money for a cab home?
-What do you think
you're playing at, you ignorant pig?! I've only just got Tommy down! How did you get in anyway?
I never got out.
-Well, allow me...
-Sorry, Kat, I'm all right really, ain't I, Dad?
-All right, darling?
-Right, party's over.
-You're bang out of order.
And you're s'posed to be looking after the Emporium...
Look, Kat, I'm sorry for waking the baby.
-Must still be tough, what happened.
-You remember something from last night.
That woman's wrong in the head living here.
She's going to get sent down.
Well, I hope they throw away the key.
Tommy's lucky having such a fierce mum.
-I reckon Tyler's right.
-I reckon Tyler's pushing his luck.
Tommy's finally stopped crying.
Cos he knows his Uncle Tyler's here!
-Can I see him?
-Maybe when we've had some more sleep.
And you've got some more clothes on.
Well, while I'm waiting, might as well get a round in.
Do you know what time it is?
Dad. Me and Alfredo, we've got a lot of catching up to do.
You've got a missus, a baby you nearly never had, a pub. Mate, you are a local hero
I want details.
-Three coffees coming up.
-Your bed on fire or what?
-Could say the same about you.
-Was hoping somewhere'd be open for some cigs.
-Be the death of you.
-Got to have one vice.
I just get out a bit quicker, now that Ben's not around to hog the bathroom.
One day at a time, eh?
So what's been happening on planet Tyler that's kept you alive for so long?
Skills, fellas! I've virtually got a degree in mixology.
Whatever that is. You can get an O-level in surfing these days.
-What's an O-level?
-You've got one. For cheek.
Right. It's all about lining it up, the angle, the prep, like Cole to Keane...
Right, Cole to Keane.
-Typical West Ham.
-At least we know Tracey's job is safe.
I could do with lying low for a bit...
How much is this lot going to cost me?
-Couldn't sleep last night, thinking about my empire.
I've come in and the freezer's packed up.
-You checked the fuse box?
-I've got asthma.
I know, death sentence. Can't help it but, you know, addictive personality in the genes.
You and her have got more in common than you think.
What you doing in so early? You're not due in till eight.
God knows why I got the job in the first place, eh, Shirl?
To keep you on the straight and narrow.
First time I give you and Anthony some responsibility, and look what happens!
Look, I've been getting under Anthony's feet.
And I missed my pops! I'm a family man.
Talking of which, where did Michael disappear to last night?
-He just took off.
-Have I got all this to come then, eh?
Tommy'll be a happy chappie. He'll take after his old man.
Yeah, I can just see him wearing one of your brother's sharp suits.
You ain't told him, have you, Eddie?
I'll leave that one with you, mate.
Dad, are you serious?
Michael's the father?
-Alfie's a diamond.
-Yeah, he is.
This is wet.
Michael dropped a drink on there.
He was sleepwalking.
It was a bit weird.
Why didn't you wake me?
Cos I didn't think both of us should have a bad night.
So he's up to his old tricks then.
-What do you mean?
-My mum used to call him Midnight Michael.
Used to do loads of weird stuff. Used to try and get in bed with her.
Wake her up, when she was already awake.
-Babe, what's that?
-Notes for a plea of mitigation.
I don't think they're going to take personal circumstances seriously.
This is going to go in your favour.
Everything you've been through.
Everything that's happened to us. Any judge with half a heart will go lenient.
I just think it makes me sound really messed up.
It would mess anybody up, this!
But this is all about you deserving a good life with me.
Starting again. With the right dosh, a QC can make that happen.
I think Roxy's already paid a lot of money for that lawyer.
-We can't ask her for more!
-Just leave it with me.
They're going to go light on you, babe. Cos we've got plans. Haven't we?
-'Janine, can you get my satsumas?
'Oh, and it's your turn to buy the takeaways, sponger...'
'Janine, can you get my satsumas?
'Oh, and it's your turn to buy the takeaways, sponger...'
SMOKE ALARM BEEPS
Good to see my money's in safe hands, ain't it?
Some people like crispy sausages.
Oh, my hero.
Oh, look at him, Bruce Willis in Die Hard.
-He's got hair like Bruce Willis.
-You two, who'd have thought?
-Where's Bruce's lunch and dinner?
-Why, you not coming home later?
Bruce's got to save America from the Russians. OK?
-I could always take on another job, you know...
-What do you want to do that for? Last time you did it, you nearly blew the place up!
-That was Nick Cotton!
Anyway, we'd be like Laverne and Shirley.
-Living together, and working together?
-Killing each other.
Besides, you'd eat all the profits.
Suppose you ain't got that risk with Rainie.
Cos of all the fags she smokes.
And whatever else. Why her, Shirley?
Have you ever heard the saying keep your enemies close?
MOBILE BEEPS He's left it.
'Hey, I know you're really down about Ben today,
'but stay strong.
'Give me a call as soon as you're free.
'I need my one-to-one Phil time.
'See you later.'
Just going to the Mini Mart, want anything?
No, thanks. I've got everything I need.
OK, see you in a sec.
There's no liquid cash in the business.
-You buy my share off me.
-I don't want to!
-No. I want you as my partner.
-This is for Ronnie.
-Does she want it?
-Of course she wants this.
No! All right, I'm her husband. I want to provide for her.
Good for you(!) But you can't have it from here, Jack.
What's the matter with you?! Why don't you go sleepwalk off a cliff or something.
I'll get the money myself.
Rainie's gone on another break!
The job's yours, Hev. I don't think Rainie's going to be around much longer.
Oh, thanks, Shirl!
You want to watch that one.
That's for Roxy.
-She not in?
Thought you two were telepathic?
Just she normally leaves it on the door step till it goes off.
That's about as public as I can go.
You're going to have to get used to being out and about
if you're going to get this top-dollar QC.
Who told you about that?
Jack. But it's cool.
He's adamant about it. Thought you were as well.
-Just don't think we can afford it.
-Can't put a price on freedom.
How's your finger?
Bet you and Roxy have been having a right old laugh about this.
We've all got our demons. It's how you handle them.
Just a stupid habit.
You know, when Danielle, my daughter, died,
I kept having nightmares, panic attacks...
..because I couldn't believe what my dad was capable of.
In the day it's easier to block out.
But it creeps up on you at night. You've got to cope.
It's going to get easier. That's what everybody said.
How can it get easier?
I've been a mum twice and I've failed twice.
I couldn't even protect my own children.
It's never going to go away, is it?
No. It doesn't.
Where the hell are you?
I'm waiting so we can talk this through.
Why did you put this into my head?!
If you haven't scored by now, don't.
Right? Just don't.
-Oh. It's only Ja-MEAN.
All right, I'd be disappointed to see me too.
But now we can all get excited together! Yay!
What game should we play?
Why aren't you sad?
Because my brother's coming home.
If my Nana Pat had died, I wouldn't want to play games. Or have a cake.
Well, it could be sooner than you think, if Nana Pat stops taking her heart pills...
Isn't that typical of you, Janine, scaring little children?
I heard Nana say on the phone that she wouldn't put it past you,
cutting the brake pipes on Lydia's wheelchair.
Kids, the icing won't finish itself, will it? Go on.
That means she's going to have a quiet word.
I thought you'd be feeling guilty by now.
-I stand by every word I said.
-And I bet the poor old girl's looking down on us right now...
-Hello, "poor old girl".
..regretting the day she decided to get back in touch with you.
You're not welcome here.
Ricky'll believe me.
Oh, no, not after I've had a word!
Not if I get there first!
Look who I found loitering outside.
-Amy in her room?
At least hear me out.
Let me buy you a drink.
I could be your punchbag if it means we get to move on.
I could take some blame, anything.
Just to get my family closer now that we've had some distance.
I heard Jack.
-You been sleepwalking again.
-Just drop it.
-It was the only time you'd let me be your dad.
Bringing you back to bed.
-Keeping you from harm.
-Yeah, well, you've had plenty of practice with your other kids.
I won't give up.
Eddie. See you in the Vic later maybe, yeah? Go somewhere?
I'll make it up to you.
-I doubt it.
Hey. Look, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I've been so busy but the decks are clear.
And I think that tonight we should just go out and get really hammered.
-I've just had a bath.
-So? Get dressed!
-I'm not really in a party mood.
-Yes, you are, OK?
We'll go to the West End.
These might be your last days of freedom.
We don't know what's going to happen.
Come out with me, Ron, please.
# Beauty's where you find it...
# BOTH: Strike a pose! #
Come on, come on, come on, come on!
I need to sleep.
It's my fault, ain't it, for letting Michael escape last night.
Ricky, will you come and see me straight away?
Don't go to Pat's cos we're having a welcome-home party for you at mine.
And don't even call her,
cos it's going to be a surprise for the kids! All right, bye.
Bit too much.
Please don't judge me, Shirl.
I've had a...had a bad day, big pressure...new job.
I really need to see Phil, please.
Be my guest.
Right, here we go, it's called Hawaii Two...
Me and him, that is.
..Big O, cos, ladies, it hits the spot.
-It's a free one, cos it's BOGOF.
Well, where's my free one then?
Buy one, get one free, as in a free kiss.
I've flossed, come here!
Go on, Mo!
'Ere, bruv, bit early for you, innit?
Thought you only come out in the dark! I Am Legend!
Nurse, my sides(!)
-Hello, girls, welcome to the Queen Vic.
We are serving up today Hawaii Big Two O, mixed by my very own Tyler Moon!
So he is here then?
Er..no. He was here.
But he's just popped out.
Oh, well, can you tell him that Kelly said all's forgiven?
-Course I will, sweetheart.
Is it hell all forgiven!
That is from me...
That is from my big sister...
And that's another one from me.
That is from our little sister. You three-timing rat.
I was going to break it off with all of ya.
You do know who our brother is? Cleaver Joe?
You tell Clever Joe, if he wants to speak to my son, he can come and ask Eddie Moon's permission.
Kat, it's a big ask, but can Tyler stay a couple of nights?
He'll do any jobs you want him to.
Won't be for long, will it? And look at the birds he pulls in, eh.
All right. He can bunk in with Nan.
-You and me then. Where d'you want to go?
Wouldn't want you to leave Tyler defenceless for five minutes.
The gym can cover a couple of grand, all right.
Whatever it takes to ease Ronnie's sentencing.
It's what she wants.
I knew it was a good idea, going into business with you!
Just don't tell Ronnie though. Don't tell anyone. I don't want it getting back to Kat and Alfie.
I know how important she is to you.
Look what I found kissing the pavement.
-What d'you think happened?
-You never turned up.
-She don't know what she's talking about.
You won't see her again, Phil. Look at her!
Why didn't you return my calls?
What you talking about? I can't find my phone.
You said we'd meet up.
-For one last blow-out! Where were you?!
-I never said anything!
Well, guess what, she's taken a load of crack and she's off her head.
Yeah, that's right(!) I took a load of crack.
This ain't a counselling session.
I've taken it from the Arches.
I got drunk waiting for you to call me.
I'm just returning it. I'm sorry to disappoint you, Shirley.
-You set this up?
-What if I did?
It's only a matter of time before she caves in. So I just speeded things up.
-You're worse than a pusher on the street!
-She wants you, Phil!
She's not going to stop until she gets you. This counselling thing, it's a smoke screen!
-I need the support, all right!
-And don't she know it!
I wonder what you would do if I was having cosy chats with someone I used to sleep with.
No matter where she is, you're always there when she needs you.
Here's the coroner's report! All you have to read is two little words - natural, causes.
-You think this gets you off the hook, do you?
-Of course, it totally, utterly and completely clears me!
-That's all you're bothered about?
No! Ricky, we lost our granny.
-To natural causes! How can you even accuse me?
You are the only one I've got, who...
-That's what Grandma Lydia thought about you.
-Please just stay! Please?
-Have a drink. Let me explain.
-Everything that comes out of your mouth is a lie, ain't it?
I really don't want to be on my own tonight. Ricky?
Rainie, you haven't, have you?
Life's bad enough without the come-down.
You should get to bed.
Little bed in my sister's little spare room.
Perfect husband cooing over a perfect toddler.
Two beautiful daughters adoring her.
Ex-husband lusting after her.
-Queen of the salon.
you've got loads going for you.
Only when I get some attention from you. Shirley was right.
You've been strong, haven't you? You should be proud.
Can't wait to tell Tanya that I got sacked, with my head held high.
that you'd given in, but... Ben will come back.
Course he will.
If Shirley wasn't that desperate, she wouldn't have done this.
Having someone love you that much...that's everything.
So who am I to interfere?
I'll add "losing my only friend" to that list for Tanya.
Rox. Thanks for getting us Ronnie's lawyer.
I've got the best of the best too, now.
S'all right. D'you need more money?
Nah. The business has got it covered.
Good! Good, and Michael's all right with that, is he?
Well, I didn't ask him.
The accountant, he OKed it.
Insurance policy. For her and for me.
And for me.
Jack, is everything going to be OK?
I'm sorting it, aren't I?
Oi! Get up!
What the hell's this?
-Jack, I don't know how he got there!
-Oi, get up!
-Jack, Jack, Jack!
Listen to me, he's obviously sleepwalking again, isn't he?
Look at him, he's got his clothes, he's got his shoes on.
You terrified me!
Well, how did he get in here?
I don't know, maybe he was asleep on the sofa or something.
I could've been laying there.
Maybe he likes you more than you think.
So what we going to do with him?
I don't know, you're not meant to wake them up. What are you doing?
-Come on then, couch.
-Not staying in with him, are we?
Hello, little man. You all right?
Do you ever get premonitions, like you can sense something?
Only I've got this tingle and it's not a good tingle.
It's more of a feeling.
What if Ronnie gets off?
-Oh, can't happen.
-What if she does?
-Kat look at me, look at me.
-Can't happen cos it's not possible.
-Why am I feeling these things? What is it all about?
-What are you doing in here, you perv?
-I want my rent.
-300 quid by 5 o'clock today.
I said leave.
Now it's three o'clock.
-I'll call the police.
-It's two o'clock now.
You're still a perv!
It's all right. It's all right, I promise.
On your bed, though? It is a bit weird. I'm sorry.
See you later.
You know this new QC thing?
Well, Jack seems to think that he can win.
I mean, that can't really happen, can it? Me just walking free?
I don't know, Jack's been in a ton of courts and seen loads of nutters walk...
I didn't mean that.
You know what I mean.
It'd be something, though, wouldn't it?
Don't know what you're laughing at.
You could help. I mean, you owe me. Don't you think?
-Little bird tells me you're the best grub merchant in London.
-I just do my best.
Bet you know your way around a sausage.
-No more than most.
-Show me, Jean. Show me what you can do with it.
There's a cafe over the road. Get your own breakfast, you cheeky beggar.
Oi! Time to get decent.
We'll always have this moment.
I've just been with Anthony. Our books aren't quite balancing.
So I'm thinking...
-Not on an empty stomach, Dad.
We need new stock.
Right, in a bit. Come find me, yeah?
get a cloth.
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Where's the fire, then?
You don't want to know.
Every dead person has the potential of laying a Faberge egg.
Well, you never know what they leave behind.
Pat! I was calling you!
I heard. Now, if you don't much mind I've got a load of Ricky's laundry to do.
So did he make much money in Dubai?
-That's none of your business.
Lovely, lovely Pat...
-If this is a mugging, I'm taking you down with me.
-Two seconds of your time. Please.
I found something.
-That's the bracelet...
-..my Dad bought you. Didn't he?
I found it in my stuff.
Well, I just saw it and immediately thought of you.
What your QC would like is as many character testimonies as you can get.
From family and friends.
-People who can vouch for Ronnie in their own way.
-I'll get on that as soon as.
Make sure you do. I can only hold off giving the judge his bundle for so long.
The QC would also like to open up your past to the court.
-It'll be all right, it'll help.
Your father, the abuse, your daughter, the miscarriage.
That history has to come out.
I really don't think I want to talk about that.
Ron, right now we've got to use whatever we can.
For the first time in your life turning all those negatives into a positive.
-They're just going to lock me up for longer.
Ronnie, you're the victim here.
Someone who was driven to the point of no return.
It's a massive part of your defence.
You're going to win it.
You really don't think she'll care?
-Which one's yours?
-Lemon, no ice.
-So what's Jodie having?
-Ice, no lemon.
How am I going to tell her?
I mean, I'm going out with her ex-boyfriend.
I thought Jodie wanted still?
Well, well, if it isn't my favourite new face! Still got that fella?
-Still got those wheels, have you?
-Touche. Jodie, wasn't it?
We have to stop meeting like this. People will talk.
-They already are. Who's this?
-Tyler Moon. That's a sharp suit, pal.
Game show host and his glamorous assistant.
Actually, I think you'll find he's with me.
-She's with him. I'd never...
-She's my fiance and this expensive whistle runs a business.
-Well, technically it's Max's business.
-But I'm employee of the month again.
Listen, who does what, I don't care. Who's with who, that's what I do.
So what's the deal? Don't tell me young Alan Sugar here's done the double.
But, Jodes, I need to tell you something!
Here we go. You're dumping your boyfriend.
-Don't worry, petal, I tend to have that effect.
-And she doesn't have a boyfriend.
-You see, we got there in the end.
What is it, Pops?
Oh, there's ice in my drink.
There's ice in her drink. And this water's fizzy, Darren.
It's just us, then, ladies.
I was wondering what happened to this.
Frank bought it for me in this little jewellery shop just off Brighton Pier.
Do you know? He even haggled the bloke down a bit.
Thanks, Janine, I really appreciate it, haven't got much left that your dad gave me.
The thing is, Pat...
memories are expensive.
Silly me. For a minute there, I thought you'd grown a heart.
So what shall we say? 100?
-Sling your hook.
-Oh, all right, then, 80 and you can relive Brighton for the rest of your days.
This cost your dad a fiver. It's silver plate.
Yes, but you're not factoring in for inflation.
The trouble with being cheap, Janine, is you never know what something's really worth.
No. Well, now we know what it's worth, don't we?
Hey, what you doing?
Running repairs. Nice trip?
Nothing ever changes, does it?
Silly girl. I'd have paid 50 just for the memory.
Yeah, it's looking good.
If you get this sorted, I will love you for ever.
-Yes, well, let's all just stay calm for now.
And there she was, at the station with him.
Smashed my heart like a dropped pint glass.
Well, that is sad.
-But you did sleep with her sister!
I'm just glad she's with someone who'll treat her right.
-Oh, yeah, all right! Who are you kidding?!
-Can't fool a fool, eh, Dazza?
-Jodie, a pleasure as always.
You be sure to let me know when spring arrives, Petal.
-Poppy, I'll be the first out the hive.
Yeah, I'll let Julian know.
-You're seeing Julian?
-I'm seeing him. Hate me, don't you?
No. I so don't hate you.
Look, I'm sorry, I don't want to be rude and I don't normally do this,
but can I get your name?
Just your name, that's all. So I can spell it out in my sleep.
-She smiles! It's my lucky day.
-Don't push it, mate.
If you won't give me a name, at least give me a number.
Come on, what you playing the shy girl for?
I bet you've given it out to worse.
What do you think I am, eh?
Maybe later, then?
Ouch, that's got to be embarrassing.
Folk round here might start talking.
It's the bounce, not the fall, Dazza. Ta-ta, girls.
Oh, sweetheart, you're starting early, ain't you?
I need it. I've just seen 'em.
-Ronnie and Jack.
Outside. They were with a woman and they were looking happy.
Why would they look happy? What have they got to be happy about?
I don't know, darling.
-Alfie, you got any change?
-Something's going on, I know it.
Morning, mate. Sorry, what can I get you?
-Some change for the float?
-Yeah. Not a problem.
-Wonder what it's like, only having a few days of freedom.
-You talking about Ronnie?
Tell you what, they're going to rip her apart inside.
-Always do when it's to do with babies.
-Let's hope so.
Don't how she thought she'd get away with it.
-I never used to like you much.
-I grow on people.
-Janine, Janine! Oi, Ian!
Alfie, they were laughing. Why would they be laughing?
So this QC ain't lost a case in three years.
Sounds promising. Why are you whispering?
Cos he's our ace in the hole.
Don't want Kat and Alfie finding out. Ronnie wants it kept quiet.
Fair play. What if she gets off, then?
-What do you mean?
-You're going to live here?
-You serious? No, no, we're gone. We're out of here. Forever.
-No more Tommy, then?
-He ain't mine, is he?
-No, don't suppose he is.
Can't stay here for a baby that ain't mine.
No, not saying you should. I could keep you updated.
Send you photos, pictures.
Yeah. Cheers, mate. Thanks(!)
Sorry. You just concentrate on Ronnie.
I don't suppose there's anything you can do, really, in the scheme of things.
-I can't exactly go round there, can I?
-Maybe you can.
-Maybe you can. I can keep Ronnie occupied, distracted.
I don't know.
I'll tell her we're going out for lunch, we're all meeting up there.
What, and I turn up late?
How long's it going to take? You only need ten minutes, don't you?
It's wrong, ain't it?
That you'll miss him?
You were his dad.
Get round there, Jack.
Probably your last chance, mate.
-I grew this for you.
-You after another punch?
-Yeah, course I am. It's my bag, getting whacked by babes.
-I ain't joking.
-I'll have this in a sandwich.
-Marie, can I get a coffee, please?
So you're either engaged or you've got a rich bloke with a fast car and a chalet in Cyprus.
-No. Cos I don't do boys. Or men.
-Well, there's a pretty picture.
That just leaves animals and tree-hugging.
-I'm not interested in anything.
-Everyone's interested in something.
Listen, right? I don't why but I'm going to be kind to you.
I've gone off men in a major way,
so if you don't keep your distance...
I'm going to knock your nose off your face.
-Death's our business, son.
I've got three addresses. I've made the calls, let's get moving.
-Listen, everyone's got a thing, right?
-That turns you on. Everyone has that, yeah?
-What are you saying?
Hard as this is to swallow, but see that Bambi there...
-she turned me down.
Why didn't you tell me it was a bag full of receipts?
-That's still theft.
Janine, what you playing at?
You'd never get away with something like that.
Maybe I've just reached that point.
You sound desperate.
Question is, how desperate?
-Don't you dare.
-Come on, get on all fours.
You are disgusting.
Get on all fours...
..and scrub the floor.
-Whilst you're down there, I'll have a little think about other jobs you can do for me.
Only if you give me an advance.
300 and I'll be yours for the next month.
And I'll do anything. Within...
How do I know I can trust you?
Well, I just brought your stupid money bag back, didn't I?
-Going to take more than that.
Like I said.
On all fours.
Yeah, it was a really great meeting, Max.
Got a lot going for us.
Don't know. It's like all the bad stuff's coming good.
Yeah, it's the most positive I've been in months.
So we're doing lunch, then?
Well, we haven't won yet.
Feeling is you will.
-I'll believe that when it happens.
-You're right. We shouldn't get too far ahead of ourselves.
Tempting as that is.
-Listen, just text me when you get to the Argee Bhajee.
-I'll be quick as I can.
-All right. Don't blow it.
-Well, no tears.
No welling up, no lump in the throat. They'll cotton on.
I'll be fine.
Hey, Tiffany! Tiffany, look!
Hey, stop that!
-I'm warning you, Tiffany!
-I mean it, all right?
Just go back to school.
We're doing a project. Animals in the city.
Ian, will you tell them?
Janine the wild dog.
-Shut up, all right?
-One more comment from you...
Here, doggy, doggy.
Er, if you want that advance, finish scrubbing.
Kat. Kat, listen, sweetheart, I'll tell you what...
I'll have a word with Jack, find out who that woman was.
I need more than that. I want you to go and have it out with him.
That's what you should be doing - manning up.
You can do that, can't you?
Oh. All right, Jack?
I saw this and I thought of Tommy.
-Are they looking at me?
But they're probably just thinking what a handsome couple we are.
Well, I'm handsome.
-No, no, better not.
-Bottle of house red, please.
for the next hour, let's just relax and just be you.
Well, the old you.
You don't know the old me.
No, no, I don't.
I'd quite like to, though.
Here you are. Look...
Oh, Janine, ain't you the little scrubber?
I'm going to frame that.
Be a nice memory.
-A keepsake, since you broke my other one.
-Why'd you do that?
It was for Granny.
-Yeah, towards funeral costs.
Just making sure no-one chucks her on a bonfire or something.
-Does it cost a lot, then?
Bet you feel really guilty now, gloating like that when I'm just trying to do my best here.
Janine, that is the cleanest chip-shop floor in the entire world.
You're mine now.
-OK, I get it.
-No, no, tell Pat and Ricky.
I want witnesses.
You belong to me.
-Ian, behave, will you?
-Forget it. I'll keep the cash.
-Fine. Pat, Ricky. I...
Oh, God... I belong to Ian now.
I just hope Granny's watching.
What d'you reckon, Alfie? West Ham, midfield?
I was thinking more of a striker, Jack.
Long as he gets us tickets for the match, eh?
England, West Ham. Expect nothing less from you, yeah?
-See, the thing is...
-Alfie, need your muscle.
-Uh, no... Eddie.
-It's only George Street.
Great, big sideboard, total bargain. Me and Ty can't lift it.
-Yeah, I know...
-Why don't you go, yeah?
-Cos you're doing nothing here, are you?
I should ring Roxy, shouldn't I?
-No, you'd better not.
-She's just going to...
-bang on about the statements and the QC.
So where were we? Yeah, Ibiza.
So all blokes putting it on you?
Well, I may have had a few offers.
-No, no. I was always...looking out for Roxy.
Bet she can get into trouble.
Yeah, she can. That girl knows how to get into trouble.
-But you were there.
-To sort her out.
-I was. Every time, without fail.
She'll miss you, you know.
She'll be lost, I reckon. If...
-I really don't want to talk about that.
-Course you don't. Sorry.
Anyway, you're going to be there for her. Aren't you?
Yeah, course. But it's not going to come to that.
-You don't think so?
-No. Cos I can feel it in my water.
-You're a clairvoyant?
-No, got a weak bladder.
It suits you, laughing.
It does. It's nice.
Good teeth. They your own, or...?
They are my own teeth, shut up!
Right, like that, is it? Have some of that.
-All right, stop it. Stop it.
-What about that. Over the top... underneath.
-Stop it, Michael!
-Got it in my hand.
Don't, don't. Don't. I'm in enough trouble as it is.
Jack said that...
He said you could go away, for a long time. He said forever.
I'd be sorry if that happened.
Yeah, it's going to happen one way or another.
I'm so sorry!
-Sorry, did I get the wrong time?
-All right, never mind. I'm here now.
So what we laughing about?
Excuse me, can I get a large... really large glass of white wine, please? Thank you.
So come on, then. What about this new QC?
I can't wait to see him in action!
Oi, perv! You can put that lot back.
Look what I've got.
Yes, that's right. Your money.
So you can put it all back. Neatly.
You don't understand.
It's my legal right to kick you out regardless. Which is what I'm doing.
Er, yes. But you can't.
-Because now I've given you your money.
-Read it...and weep.
What are you laughing at?
Ming or minging?
-Burke and Hare, am I done here? I've got a job to do.
-Never mind this grave-robbing business.
-This is proper.
Look at that. It's so wrong.
-That's Michael all over.
-Gorgeous bit of trim like that getting banged up.
What a waste.
-What you doing?
-What you doing with them?
-It's my girlfriend and her sister. Problem?
-Yeah. There's a problem. Who's side are you on?
-Come on, let's just go.
-I'll catch up.
Right, listen to me.
I couldn't say anything then but I've been digging.
Now, I'm a Moon and I'm just as angry as you are.
Jack has got a new brief.
The best in the business, best money can buy, ain't lost a case in three years.
Jack's going to get Ronnie off.
I'm not being funny, but I saw you earlier. You and Ronnie.
You was with this woman. Roxy was all over her as well.
Just seems a bit weird that you were so happy.
Just a friend of Roxy's, she came round.
What have we got to be happy about?
I had to ask. It's been driving me nuts.
-Listen, I'd better go.
-You know you can come over after the sentencing.
If you feel the need to. The door's always open to you.
-Come on, we should get back.
-Hold on. Michael?
-I don't believe this.
He's just told me Jack's gone to see Tommy.
No, he can't be. I mean, he must be lying.
-I wish he was.
-No, no, no. That's not right, it's not.
You look after him.
I always do.
Just saying it, really. You know he deserves the best.
What you get him.
Oi. How could you do that, eh, Jack?
-How could you do that to us?
Why don't you tell Kat, eh?
Why not tell her how you've been taking us for a ride?!
-I'm lost, mate.
-Course you're lost. We'd have been there for you, Jack.
We'd have even been there for you when Ronnie went down.
And you know what?
I'd have been... I can't believe he's been mugging us.
I'd have been happy for you to be part of Tommy's life.
But you know what he's gone and done?
He's got himself the best QC. Yeah, well done, Jack!
The best QC that money can buy.
-This brief hasn't lost a case in three years!
Eh? Why did you do that to us?
Why did you...? Get out! Get out! Get out.
Get out of my pub! And you stay away from Tommy, all right?!
That was almost fun.
Yeah, well it's not me who's not concentrating, Michael.
I can't perform if...
No, I can't perform if there are people milling about...
Oh, please, come on! Ronnie's heard it all before. She's heard worse.
You are so cheap sometimes.
-You should have a bit of class about you, girl.
-What, and you think you're gentry, do you?
-No, I'm just...
All I'm saying is sometimes I'm surprised you're sisters.
Well, maybe I'll call her in here, shall I?
Look, I was just saying goodbye.
It's not like I've been going round there seeing Tommy.
How's your knuckles?
Yeah, feel as though I've got about seven in there at the moment.
-Well, at least we know where we stand.
We're at war now.
I'm going to change my victim statement.
I'm not holding anything back.
Yeah, right. Give it both barrels, get her locked up for good.
Yeah, we have to make that happen.
I can't think of her any other way. I really can't.
'Look, I was just saying goodbye.
'It's not like I've been going round there seeing Tommy...'
Do you believe him?
I don't know.
It's you I feel for.
-Must be difficult to know who to trust.
-If you see him will you tell him I'll call him later?
-It's just I don't feel like talking to him right now.
-No, no. Can't blame you.
FRENCH ACCENT: Janine, my darling. We had such a fantastic night together!
Will you marry me?
-That's so not even funny!
-Who said you could sleep in here? It's against health and safety.
So is sticking a fish in my face.
You need to find somewhere else to kip.
-Uncle Jack, what's that about?
Are you all right? Do you need anything?
I'm fine. I've had worse.
-Yeah, but thanks.
-What you looking at?
-Listen, um...that's on the house.
-Oh, no, no Carol, I couldn't accept.
-Oi! What you playing at?
-He's one of them.
I expect better from you.
You got that?
I wasn't that hungry anyway.
You see her slobbering all over him?
Least they're the same age.
Same age? She's like 70,
and he's at least 100.
Yeah, well at least... What happened to your boyfriend?
OK, where's YOUR boyfriend?
Or are you just going to punch every boy that you meet?
Yeah, probably. And then it'll save some for you, won't it? If you can find one.
-What, you don't think I can?
-No, you don't need one anyway.
Yeah, I so don't want to end up like that.
Look, it's not that much of a rise I want out of you.
-It's an extra 20%, Mo.
-And we're in a recession.
Yeah, right, so the rent should be cheaper if anything.
Look here, lover, you be good to me and I'll be good to you.
-They're all at it. All the oldies.
-I could teach you a thing or two.
Sorry, Mo, but he's taken.
-You are now.
Tea to go please, Carol.
You can pretend to like me till she's gone.
-All right... Um... A vase?
-No, we've got one of them.
Oh, come on, just show us, will ya?
OK, sit down, sit down.
There you go.
What d'you think?
-I love it.
I've always wanted one of these.
-Where we going to put it?
-It's your place, you decide.
No, no, it's our place. If anyone asks, we're paying rent, right?
-It's our place, do you mean that?
-Yeah, course I do.
We've got our own little lava lamp to prove it now, haven't we?
It's our home sweet home.
Who knew he had it in him?
Why have a go like that?
Listen, I need you to write me a letter.
-You can turn me down,
I'd understand, considering, but I need statements saying how wonderful Ronnie is.
-You know what? Forget about it.
Does it have to be in joined up writing?
-You'll do it?
-Yeah, course I'll do it.
It's just the QC wants me to get as many as I can
for the judge to read before sentencing.
Who else you got in mind?
Just family mainly. Going to set up a meet, you know?
Spell out what to write.
The moment Ronnie reads them, I'm off the hook with Tommy.
-I'm going past your place, I'll get you a shirt if you like.
-You just get that meeting sorted.
-Cheers. Oh, and listen.
If you see Ronnie, you tell her I'm fighting tooth and nail for her.
You can't blame him, can you? If you were Jack, wouldn't you go and see Tommy? One last time?
I'm just saying he could've told me.
Yeah, all right, so since when does any man tell anyone anything?
That's huge, Rox.
What if he's lying about something else?
What if this QC is a way of him getting everyone's hopes up?
I mean, he might know I'm going down.
He wouldn't. I mean, how could he?
Think about it, look at the odds.
Don't say stuff like that, yeah?
-Look. Michael has said he'll look you.
-Listen to me.
-And you have got to look out for Jack.
Stop it. Stop it.
We have got to have this talk, you know we do.
Ronnie, if you go down,
I'm pretty much going down with you, OK?
You have got to be tough and you've got to be strong.
-And you'll find a way, I know you will.
-My whole life...
My whole life you've been there for me.
And I will be again.
-You think you're going down, don't you?
-No. But I don't think we can be stupid about this.
There is a chance of it.
-You've got to look at what I did.
-Yeah, and why you did it,
and all the horrible things that happened to you.
They're going to see that, they are, aren't they?
They might, and they might not.
No, but you've been punished.
You have. I mean, your whole life has been a punishment.
Roxy, listen to me.
Listen to me.
I can only do this if I know you're going to be all right.
I'm not. I'm really not and that's what I'm trying to tell you, Ron.
But you've got to be! You've got to be for Jack,
you've got to be for Amy.
-But I need my big sister.
-And I need my little sister.
Listen to me. I am just as scared.
I'm just as scared as you are. Come here.
A lot of me died with Tommy.
Or who I thought was Tommy.
I'd lived my life to that point.
Some might say that I was... too quick to have a good time.
But you are what you are and I was what I was.
And then she went and...
I was ready to ease off the throttle
and put all that mad energy into raising my little boy.
I couldn't wait to be a mum.
And when he died, I just wanted to be with him.
I couldn't stand the thought of him all alone in that little grave.
I just wanted to be buried beside him.
Every day I got up and I'd think, today is the day that I do it.
And you look around, and you can see people are trying to help but it doesn't make any difference.
Cos I knew I'd already stopped breathing.
That's the God's honest truth.
You get all that down, Mo?
Yeah. I got it.
We're gonna nail her, Kat. I promise.
-Nothing I can't handle.
-All the same...
Carol. We're cool.
-What does cool mean, exactly?
-Below room temperature, above freezing.
-So we're cold.
You working for Beale now? How's that panning out?
Oh, it's a thing of beauty.
-You know what.
Kim, you got any rooms at the B&B?
-Oh, I got rooms, sweet cheeks. How many d'you want?
-Well, put me down for one.
-Plenty of room to go round.
-Right then, forget I asked.
-But we just made a deal.
-Yeah, well, not with her there.
-He did ask first.
-I'll pay cash, upfront.
-Billy, lend me some money, will you?
-I ain't got any money.
-Right, so it's me or her.
Thing is, it all comes down to who I want to catch coming out the shower.
-Take a photo, it'll last longer.
I was looking at your pendant.
-It's a locket.
-Is it for sale?
-Not remotely. It's my grandma's.
-Well, everything has a price.
-Seriously, what would you take for it?
-Might help with the housing problem.
-Where were we?
You'd sleep on the streets for the sake of a piece of metal?
Who's sleeping on the streets?
Just forget it.
-You never said.
-Well, we're not meant to be talking right now.
-So what's happened to the flat?
I had to use the rent money to pay for Grandma's funeral.
-You'd make yourself homeless for that?
-Some of us actually care about our families.
I never meant to hurt anyone.
I know that. I do. Come here.
They don't know that out there, though, do they?
They weren't there, were they?
They weren't you at that exact moment and they have no idea.
How do I look?
I need a favour.
Being polite now, are we?
-You've got blood on your shirt.
-Yeah, I know.
Look, can you get all the Brannings together, bring them here?
-We having a party?
-If you see 'em, can you grab 'em?
-I can't, I'm working.
-So stop working.
-What, I'll just get dragged away all the time.
All right, we'll do it at mine, all right? But you make sure you're there.
That's my little work pony. Are you going to be OK holding the fort?
-I've got to take Bobby round to Jane's new flat.
-It'll cost you.
-I think you're forgetting the 300 I've already given you in advance.
-Yeah, but I need extra cash.
Don't push it, Janine.
-50 quid for the locket.
-Not you again.
Come on, we both know you want the cash.
Look, it's the only thing I've got left of her.
Memories are more valuable.
No, I can't.
Granny'll be looking down at you now
and she'd be saying take the money.
-All right, enjoy your park bench.
Don't get attacked or anything.
I will get this back, I swear.
Oh, Greg, you ain't seen Max?
-I've been trying to get hold of him, he's not picking up.
-No. It important?
-Yeah. It's monumental.
We can't... Not here.
How many shirts you got?
How about that one?
-You kidding me?
That was a Christmas present from Max, weren't it? A big joke.
-Tell me you locked that door.
-You ARE in.
-Yeah. All right, Greg?
Was just was doing some paperwork
and, you know, phones are off. You know what it's like.
-Jack was looking for you. Monumental was the word he used.
Right, I'll, uh... I'll call him.
-He looked pretty worried.
-Yeah, well, you know what Jack's like.
-You're wearing lipstick.
-Oh, behave yourself.
-It looks like it.
It's my natural complexion.
Yeah, anyway, you best give him a call.
We have got to stop, we'll get caught!
Just have to find somewhere more private.
..give Vanessa my regards.
It's not funny. It's not funny.
See this? It's a limited edition.
-Got a slight flaw on it. Collectors love that.
-I could go over there and tell that young lady...
-That ain't no young lady, trust me.
Eh, eh, eh, that's my wages.
I'll treat you next time.
-Thought you were supposed to be down and out and homeless?
-All right, mate?
-I had to sell HIM Granny's locket.
Yeah, well, the funeral has wiped me out, Ricky.
-They were going to stick her in another coffin with somebody else.
-That's sick, innit?
No, that's what they do. They squeeze them in.
Can you imagine spending an eternity like a sardine?
-I can't believe that.
-It's economics, Ricky. At least I got to keep the photos.
Look, you just tell me how much the funeral cost. I want that locket back.
Well, that's all very nice, Ricky, but I think it's like Granny.
This is probably the last of my Dubai money. You just watch me.
Right. I'll cut to the chase. How much?
Step into my office.
-You've got a young lady here going parched.
-All right, all right. Usual?
-Yes, please, Mo.
-How many nights will that get me?
A big fat zero.
Really? How much are you charging?
Oh, it ain't that. I got a booking from a few blokes down on a building job.
Mate, were are filled to the brim, brim, brim.
Come on, you've got to be able to squeeze me in.
You've got no idea where I woke up this morning.
Well, you could double up with Ryan.
I can't sleep in a chippy again.
Can I, Billy?
Er, Dot can't make it. She's gone to see Granddad.
All right, I'll go round there later.
-Lauren, get that for me, will you?
It's like being at school. It's like a test, innit?
Yeah, just like a test.
-I don't know.
We're here. Isn't that good enough?
You will forgive Jack, won't you?
Cos, you know, without him, you wouldn't have a hope right now.
What about Michael? You like him, don't you?
No. Not right now.
We had words this morning, but I'm putting it down to stress.
-I just want to know that he...
..he'll be good for you.
And I think he will.
I mean, he always seems to be there for us, doesn't he?
-Well, he likes you.
-He's one of the only few that does.
-You're not going anywhere.
-I'm really glad you've got him.
Respect. Understand? All them sort of things.
Just write down all the good things you can think of.
-So she could get off, then?
-I don't know. Maybe.
There's a chance.
So she could be walking free around here? Going in the Vic?
-We wouldn't do that.
-The thing I don't get is that she gave Tommy back.
-Yeah, so, well, you could say that
she dealt with hard bit. You know, the bit where they cry all the time and that.
She might have done Kat a favour. You could say that.
Look, I've got to get these in by the close of play.
Right, so I basically just write what a great aunt she's been and stuff?
-Yeah, that's perfect.
-No, I can't write stuff I don't believe.
You don't have to believe it. It's just words.
-You're telling me she can get off.
-She won't if you don't start writing.
You can't do what she did and not expect to have comeback.
Carol, she's my wife, all right? The love of my life.
-Yeah, well, she's not mine.
-Just do it, please.
-I'm a mum as well.
-But she's family.
-I don't care, Lauren.
-But you have to. If you don't, what's the point of anything?
-You'll end up like me.
Ronnie's one of us. People ain't looking at her, right? Hers ain't a life anyone would have wanted.
Yeah, I'm sorry, right,
but the only person that matters here is baby Tommy. And he's happy, so leave it.
No, there's a reason why Alfie gave you a kicking
and a reason I don't really blame him.
Stand up for her? Are you serious?
She's not family, she's a freak.
FRONT DOOR CLOSES
You're going to stand up in court and read out every word of this.
Regardless of protocol, this needs to be heard, Kat.
And if there's any justice, she's going to go down for a very, very long time.
What about him?
You tell me. What about him?
And exceptionally good taste in women.
And ready to prove it.
Oi, my phone!
What you doing?
Not round here, all right? Now do one.
Lauren, keep an eye on your stuff, all right?
Yeah. Absolutely. Thank you.
-OK, did you see that?
The way he looked at me.
That's the second time.
You need your eyes tested.
Well, thanks for turning up.
I only just got your message. So what's so monumental?
I need you to write me a statement, about much you love and respect Ronnie.
-No worries. How many words?
-Enough to convince a court.
Right, I'm on it.
-Where you off to?
-To get a statement off Dot and then take them round to show Ronnie.
Is she still talking to you?
-I heard about your little rendezvous.
-Yeah, well, got bigger things to think about.
What did she say to him in Rocky?
-Yeah. So go and do it, will ya.
Your flies are undone.
-See? That's how much of a hurry I was in to come and help my baby brother.
-Mm. Very retro.
-Yeah, I've wanted one for ages.
You'll have to kip in the box room.
Box room. OK. Have you got a shower?
-But we ain't got any hot water at the minute.
-Yeah, but we got a kettle.
-You just have to make a few trips but it's worth it in the end.
-One big happy family, eh?
-Yeah, more the merrier.
-At least you travel light.
-Well, didn't have much choice.
The bin man threw out all of my clothes.
I know it might seem all doom and gloom at the moment,
but things'll get better, I promise.
Thanks, Billy. I mean it.
Home sweet home. Hey - again!
Didn't think you'd be here.
Well, you said to be.
S'pose you're going to have a go, but, you know, before you do
I just think you should know, I've got your testimonies. And they're great. Really heartfelt. Honest.
I was going to get one from Phil, only I didn't, cos of his crime sheet.
And Aunt Sal, she's sending hers as we speak, possibly by pigeon.
You should read them...
..cos people DO care. They do love you, Ron.
That's worth something, isn't it?
So we keep fighting, yeah?
All the way.
-Well, I like to keep you waiting, don't I?
-Here we go, then.
What did you get me?
What? What you laughing for?
It's what Ronnie wears.
-Nah, is it?
-It is, yes. It's all right, it's all right,
just take it back to the shop and they'll change it for you.
-Just try it, though.
-I went to all that trouble.
I went to all that trouble...
Listen to me. You can make it up to me another way, OK.
-Come on, it's only perfume.
-Just put it on for me, will you?
-No. Get off!
-Just try it. For me.
-WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!
Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
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Tyler Moon's surprise arrival in Walford brings chaos to the Vic and has upsetting consequences for Eddie. Carol and Ian are aghast when Shirley lays down the law as the cafe's new owner, while Tam and Afia resolve to legalise their marriage alone, much to Yusef's displeasure. Michael begins to manipulate Jack and Roxy as his obsession with Ronnie reaches new heights, and Kat grows increasingly paranoid ahead of Ronnie's sentencing. Janine receives evidence that she hopes will prove her innocence over Lydia's death. Max and Tanya have a near miss when their passion boils over at the car lot and Lauren finds herself developing an unexpected crush.