28/10/2011 EastEnders

DISTANT SOFT THUD

-I'd thought you'd left?

-Breakfast.

-Soldiers?

-You don't like soldiers?

Not that kind.

Well, if you don't like them, don't eat them.

Aren't you staying?

No.

Well, that's very romantic(!) Thank you. Have a good day.

That came for you.

That was quick.

Had it made for Yasmin.

Young Man And The Snake.

How apt.

What do you think?

Well, I think...

I won't be reading her much from that.

We'll get books in English too.

-When things settle down a bit.

-Sure.

Say ball. Ball.

Ball.

So, I was thinking just a candle and a cake.

It's her first birthday, we have to celebrate it properly.

My granddaughter deserves the best.

Well, there is this Princess Palace, where they dress the babies up as princesses and take their photos.

Or we could just have it here. Monday.

Come on, I'll cook, I'll organise everything. You won't have to do a thing, just turn up.

OK but let's keep it small.

Yasmin might get upset by any strangers.

-Absolutely. Strictly family. No outsiders.

-Sounds perfect.

Thank you, Zainab.

You are still my daughter-in-law and I will do everything I can to help you.

Now, what are you doing for the rest of today?

-All the magazines.

-Even the gossip ones?

-Even the gossip ones, Poppy.

-Oh, agreed.

-Two hot waters.

-Thank you.

-Ta.

And the expensive Chardonnay.

-The one with the medal on the label?

-The one with the medal on the label.

Agreed.

Half-head highlights, instead of full?

Do you remember what happened last time I got half-head?

-Afghan hound.

-Afghan hound, Poppy.

-Not agreed?

-Definitely not agreed. We are beauty professionals. Appearance is everything.

-It's not easy saving money when you have to look good.

-No, Poppy, it's not.

-What do you think?

-What?

It's a little morbid for a doctor's surgery.

I phoned in sick, so I could go to the funeral.

See if I could find out why Mr Jones died.

If it was my fault.

-You can't go to the funeral.

-Why not?

-Because it is for family and church members only.

I could go as your plus-one.

When a man's body is being committed to the earth in hope of eternal life, there is no plus-one.

Perhaps you could ask around and see if you hear anything.

Certainly not.

Well, if you do hear anything, at least you could let me know.

-Still not enough.

-What?!

Even without treats, holidays and no new clothes until after Christmas?

Right, well...maybe if we say to Mr Beale that we can't pay the rent now cos it's too high...

he'll understand

-Or we could think of something else.

-Think of something else.

If you girls need a place to crash, there's a spare room at ours.

-That would be great...

-No, thanks.

-Don't worry, I'll give the place a proper clean.

How would it look if Darren came back and I was living with you?

-It'd be fine. We're only sharing a house.

-No, Anthony, not fine.

Darren went with Lauren Branning cos of you and me and what he thought he saw.

-I'm not being funny, Jode, but saw what?

-Us at the hospital.

So, no, Anthony, not fine.

I've got to go to work.

She's a little bit stressed.

You all right?

Didn't know you were shaving.

-It's not for me.

-Who's it for, your boyfriend?

Grow up.

Want to try walking around people, not through them.

Nice manners. What, did they teach you that in juvie?

Knock-knock.

I've got you coffee.

Well, can't a boss be nice to her staff?

I didn't know how you take it so I got you one without sugar

and I know someone's got a sweet tooth so three sugars and some buns.

Oh!

Enjoy.

-Er, was there any more post?

-No, no, no. Just bills.

-Janine is up to something.

-Maybe she's just being nice.

Why would Janine be nice?

Cos she's rich and happy and got a new boyfriend.

I don't trust that Michael an' all. Not after what he did with Roxy.

-Well, maybe it's all right this time. You know, maybe that's what love does to you.

-What?!

Heather, would you mind... popping over to my place later?

Just to give it a bit of a quick clean. Not much. Just the dishes,

a hoover, maybe some windows... and the loo.

-What about my other jobs?

-You've got to do those too, obviously.

Told ya!

Yeah, I know, it's really short notice

but is there any way you could do Monday at ten, instead?

You can? I'll see you then.

Sorry about earlier. My head, it's just...all over the place.

But I've cancelled my appointments for the rest of the day, so...

if you want me, I'm yours for the next 24 hours.

There's an offer I can't refuse.

So, a whole 24 hours together.

DOORBELL RINGS

-Ignore it, please.

-We can't.

-I'll get rid of them.

-Promise?

-Yeah.

-Mum.

-Syed. Good news...

Really?

Amira has brought Yasmin over. So, I thought we could spend some time together. What do you think?

What, now?

Yes, now. You do want to spend time with your child?

Mum, I have been spending time with her.

You've missed the first year of her life, Syed.

It's all right. You go on. It's more important.

SHE READS BOOK TITLE

I had it made specially for Yasmin.

You know that this was your favourite story.

When you were little I had to read it to you every night or you wouldn't go to sleep.

If I missed even the tiniest bit, you'd make me start all over again.

-(Go on. Ask her.

-OK.)

Yes?

-Er, you know you're in charge and make all the important decisions now...

-What do you want?

We were wondering if we could have extra shifts.

-Or maybe work late evenings.

-Extra shifts and late evenings, sounds good...

Considering how we're rushed off our feet.

-You're being sarcastic?

-Yes, I am being sarcastic.

We'd even do Lola's work.

What do you two want extra work for?

Ian's raised our rent.

What a surprise(!) Has he fixed your dodgy toilet yet?

No. We told him it kept blocking and he gave us this thing.

And the window doesn't shut properly.

-OK, so refuse the rent increase.

-Can we do that?

Tell him you're really unhappy with the flat

and you're not prepared to pay a penny extra until it's all fixed.

-Great.

-Thanks.

-That's brilliant.

Zainab phoned me with the good news.

Her and Syed are spending the day with Amira and his baby daughter.

I'm really not in the mood.

I don't blame you for being angry.

In fact I think you've handled this all very well.

Better than I would.

If someone threatened my relationship,

tried to come between me and the person I love, I'd fight back.

There's not an awful lot I can do.

If it was me...

I'd start by seeing if Amira was telling the truth.

Could I have a coffee, please?

-What are you doing here?

-Er, Janine asked me to clean up.

All right?

What do you want?

-Just brought you this.

-That supposed to make up for everything, is it?

-I was just trying to help.

-No, I don't think you were, mate.

And stop buying me stuff.

-I thought you'd like it.

-I'm 39, Ben, and you're 15.

-It's inappropriate.

-It's just aftershave.

Get over yourself!

So are we clear?

Yeah. I won't tell anyone I saw you here.

Especially...?

-Especially Janine.

-Yeah, understand.

You going to do some cleaning, then?

Yeah...yeah.

You all right?

You dropped this in the bin outside the gym.

-Isn't Mr Universe is a bit old for you?

-Don't you think you should mind your own business?

But when you're 20, he's going to be all old and wrinkly.

You'll have to take him in a wheelchair to the bingo hall.

Look, I've got something to cheer you up.

Look.

-Where d'you half inch them from?

-Why does everyone think I'm a thief?

I didn't nick them, I got them from a friend.

He might have nicked them, though.

Come on, then.

Coming?

PHONE RINGS

Why don't you two take Yasmin for a walk?

Help get her off to sleep.

-Well, aren't you coming?

-I've got to check on Kamil.

Make sure Tamwar hasn't fed him his bodyweight in chocolate.

Yeah, well, I'll see you at the flat later, OK?

-I'm done now, so I'm heading off.

-I thought you were ill.

-Well, I felt better, so I thought I'd just come in and do a few things.

-Well, I'll see you tomorrow.

-Was there anything else?

-No, nothing.

Well, actually, I was wondering if you'd heard anything about how Alan Jones died?

You know I'm bound by patient-doctor confidentiality?

-Even when they're dead?

-Yes. Even after they're dead.

-Have you got a minute?

-Of course, come in.

I wouldn't worry about Mr Jones.

I need to know if Amira's lying about Yasmin.

I want a DNA test.

OK, let's go.

What do you think about a new dress for the party?

-Yeah, it'd be nice to get Yasmin something new.

-No, for me.

It's Yasmin's first birthday, I want to look my best.

I wouldn't worry, it's only family.

It's a slippery slope from thinking "it's just family" to popping to the shops in a tracksuit.

There's no danger of that happening.

Half price mani/pedis! I should get that for the party.

Why don't you go now? I'll look after Yasmin.

She'll be fine. If there's a problem, I know where you are.

-You sure you don't mind?

-Of course not. Go on.

See you soon, darling.

-All right?

-Hiya.

Syed can never find out about this.

-Absolutely.

-I mean it. I've been there before with Roxy and Sean, and it ended in tears.

This is strictly between us.

You can't lose here.

If it turns out Yasmin is Syed's daughter,

then no-one need know we ever did this.

And if she's not...

then Syed's the victim of a terrible lie

and he'll thank you for uncovering the truth.

-I'll be in touch.

-I'll have everything ready.

The window still isn't fixed. And when we put on the television,

-kettle, hairdryer...

-And the straighteners.

..and the straighteners, the fuses keep tripping.

-If we can't have the hairdryer AND straighteners on...

-We look a mess.

-And we can't look a mess cos we're beauty professionals.

-Don't put the television on, then.

-That's not the point.

-I tell you what, if there is one, do you think you could get to it?

Er...cos of all these things, we don't think it's fair that...you've put up the rent.

And we're not going to pay it.

Right, well I can see you're obviously not happy with the flat.

-No, we're not.

-And I would hate to keep you in that hovel

for a moment longer than you want to so, er...

..there you are, there's your deposit back.

You...want us to move out?

Yeah. Today would be good.

Actually, I tell you what, make it this afternoon.

It's boiling, thanks.

Wait a second, Dorothy.

Oh! Hello, Reverend.

-Excuse me.

-What do you think you're doing here?

I'm paying my respects to Doctor Khan's patient.

-You get the drinks and I'll get the seats.

-Here, what do you think you're doing?

So, what's your excuse, then?

Can't go home, can I? In case I ruin Syed's happy family vibe with my flamboyant homosexuality.

Aw, I thought you were supposed to be the butch one.

Don't worry, he'll soon see through Amira.

I knew Mr Jones from the surgery. Such a nice man.

His death must have been a shock.

It was. He was so full of life. Right up to the very end.

Are you all right?

If there's anything on your mind, you can always tell me.

Forgive me, father, for I have sinned.

Anything goes missing, just blame the care-home kid.

She's bound to be the tea leaf. It's almost worth it to see Billy's face when he thinks I'm in trouble.

-Just in case someone calls the Social Services.

-Poor Bill.

Yeah well, it ain't easy being a grandparent, is it?

-You should ask Christian.

-Look, I get it, he's old.

How did you know I was, er...?

-No offence, but it's kind of obvious.

-Yeah, right.

Yes. Yes!

-And you shoot like you're gay.

-Now you sound like my dad.

-Why do you care what he thinks, anyway?

-Well, I don't. It's just...

I mean, I wasn't expecting a party or nothing, just didn't think he'd be this bad.

I found the one thing he's scared of. A gay son.

It ain't too late to change. How many girls have you slept with?

-I don't know.

-Come on, you must have some idea. 50? 10? 1?

If you ain't slept with any girls, how do know for sure you're gay?

If you ain't slept with any girls, how do you know you ain't?

-What you doing?!

-Just having a laugh.

-I thought we were friends.

-We are. Just being friendly.

Enjoying some baby-free time?

It's not about me enjoying myself. It's about Syed getting to know Yasmin.

-He really loves spending time with her, don't you think?

-Yeah, he does.

After all, he has only one daughter.

Whereas London is filled with men like you.

I was supposed to call him in for his test results. And I forgot.

Twice.

I'm responsible.

I killed Mr Jones.

I'm a murderer.

I'd say it was more death by misadventure, than murder.

No, it's not funny.

-I could go to jail.

-I doubt that.

-Alan died from a bee sting, anaphylactic shock.

-Oh!

Oh, oh, that's brilliant news!

-Not brilliant that he died. I don't mean that.

-I know what you mean.

A marriage made in heaven.

-What did you say?

-He said your sister's pulled.

DOOR OPENS

Ah, Amira?

OK.

-What are you doing back?

-I live here.

You know you're not supposed to be near Yasmin, don't you?

-Syed, can you tell him, please?

-No.

We're going out in a few minutes, anyway. I told Amira we'd meet her in the park.

Can I hold her?

No. Syed!

It's OK, it's just for a couple of minutes.

Can you mind her head, please?

She's gorgeous.

All right, we said we'd go to the park, Syed. Please, let's make a move, OK?

Let's go.

See you.

-Well, you really are gay, ain't you?

-I warned you.

We could always try in one more time. Maybe I could change your mind.

-Relax, I'm just joking. Maybe we should just be mates.

-Yeah.

Right, I'm starving. You hungry?

Got to be something in this fridge.

I got to tell you something.

Do you remember Duncan, you know, and how you fancied him?

You didn't?

-Oh, my... He's way out your league.

-Yeah, just a bit.

Sympathy snog?

-You're not angry?

-As if.

MUSIC: "The A Team" by Ed Sheeran

Hi Michael, it's just me, again.

I was wondering if you wanted to go out later,

maybe just for something to eat.

Seeing as we missed breakfast.

Er, anyway, just... give me a call back. Bye.

Can I come in?

Yes.

I've got what you need.

You've made the right decision.

So it wasn't me that killed Mr Jones, after all.

Keep your voice down, Rose!

He suffocated.

Reverend Stevens said it's death by a humble bumble.

SHE GIGGLES

Don't you think it's time you went home?

I'm just beginning to enjoy myself.

Enjoy yourself? A funeral ain't a place to enjoy yourself.

-You know what I mean.

-Yes, getting drunk and throwing yourself at the vicar.

I shan't be able to show my face at that church on account of your carrying on.

Well, it was you who said I should raise my standards in men.

You can't get much higher than a man of God.

Oh, what blasphemy!

Gin and Italian vermouth with a cherry, for the lady.

-And can I get you a drink, Mrs Branning?

-Oh, no thank you, Vicar.

No, you know me, I never touch alcohol

except for medicinal purposes.

And I think there's been enough drink flowing round here today.

Is that offer of a room still open?

Well, only if that's what you want?

It's only one friend helping out another, innit? I'm sure you'd do same for me.

Someone get the drinks in.

That's a good idea. Why don't you get these lovely ladies a couple of glasses of wine?

Hi, Michael, it's me. I'm not sure if you're avoiding me.

It would be nice if actually returned one of my messages...

Happy birthday.

How did you know it was today?

-If you like someone, you want to know all about them.

-D'you know, I'm beginning to think

there's a romantic heart beating underneath this apron of yours.

Mmm, don't tell anyone. I've an extremely... bad reputation to uphold.

Now, sit while I tend to your every need.

-Oh, my every need?

-Oh, yeah.

Before you get too excited, it's only a takeaway.

-What's all this in aid of?

-I wanted to make up for cancelling today.

Look, Sy, just forget it.

No...you did something really nice for me, it's the least I can do.

-I know all fathers say it, but isn't she the most beautiful thing you've ever seen?

-Course she is.

I don't want to tempt fate but, right now, it feels like I've got everything I could ever want.

You and Yasmin.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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