Officers' Mess Doctors


Officers' Mess

Medical drama. When Zara visits her TA captain friend, she is tempted into a version of her old life and hates what she finds. Meanwhile, Marina goes power-mad.


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Transcript


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Company! Eyes...right!

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Come on, you nasty lot! Come on, quicker! Faster!

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-They're on us. They're behind us.

-Good work, Captain Sims.

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-Vickers, Aston, now! Go!

-Excellent.

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They're on us. Come on, it's ours to lose!

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Brooking, you're lagging behind!

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Come on, that's it! Over. Quick, quick, quick.

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Come on! Pick up the pace, that's it. Come on! Come on, team.

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That's hardly leading from the front, Brooking!

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# ..King Wenceslas looked out

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# On the feast of Stephen... #

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Somebody's got the Christmas spirit.

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Oh, I am looking to performing at St Philomena's.

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Eh, perhaps I could look in on Doctor Cassidy?

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Julia's visiting.

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Apparently, she's fine. They're just keeping her in for observation.

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Ah, well, that is a relief.

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Nurse Malone, have you learnt the CORRECT lyrics yet?

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-Well, I, I...

-Are you not looking forward to it?

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Well, it's just not very convenient.

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I'm sure the patients don't think spending Christmas in hospital is "convenient".

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-I didn't mean that.

-We have a duty to those poor people to turn up and do our best.

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Now, I hope you're not thinking of letting them - and us - down(?)

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No.

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Good.

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Well, the ladies of the choir are very excited.

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But we do have an... established way of working,

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-now with regard to the conducting...

-I don't need any tips on conducting.

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-But...

-I have my own way of working and they'll just have to follow me.

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Right, song sheets.

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Morning, ma'am. Pass, please.

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Zara Carmichael, I'm here to see Captain Sims.

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Straight on.

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-Not a great performance.

-We should be doing live-fire, not log-slogging.

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-Are you questioning my judgment?

-I'm saying...

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We were on the range at dawn, we're in Tin City tomorrow.

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None of that is any use

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if we haven't got the lung power to sustain us through contact.

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Now listen in!

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As you know, we are being considered for operational deployment.

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Selection is a distinct privilege

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and recognition that we, as a squadron, are considered able

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to take the field - and fight - as well as our regular counterparts.

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I have every intention of gaining us that privilege.

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That is all.

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-He can cut the martinet act.

-He wants the deployment.

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-Maybe not for all of us.

-What do you mean?

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Third time he's bawled me out this week.

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If I didn't know better, I'd say he was sending me a message.

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Carmichael!

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Simmsy!

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Look at you. Nice make-up.

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Do they do matching lippy?

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Actually, yes. Limited distribution, marines, special forces

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and weirdos over the internet.

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Actually, think I prefer your usual shade of Sultry Scarlet.

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I think my scarlet days might be behind me.

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Hey, you're...

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Not quite the same Carmichael.

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Bad girl, you didn't tell me!

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-I thought you liked surprises.

-And it's a great one.

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Shame now, I thought you were coming down for a bit of action,

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-looks like I'll have to handle the boys on my own.

-Well, not so fast, Simmsy.

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I can still grab some of the attention.

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-In a evening maternity dress?

-I can still do sexy.

-I'm sure.

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Anyway, rest of the day is going to be fun, fun, fun, drinks, lunch, general celebration.

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We can freshen up at mine. You can watch me change back into a girl.

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Company! Eyes...left!

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A spa? Do you know how much I'd love that?

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Well, I've got another night before I have to head home.

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Why don't you come back with me after dinner?

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Thanks, but I know I'd just be late for parade tomorrow.

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That's a shame. I could have done with some sparky company.

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Most of the women there are wealthy women d'un certain age.

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But then at dinner, lots of younger men appear at their tables.

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Mmm... Sin City.

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Oh, yes.

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While their husband's are trading oil or playing golf,

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they're living it up at Toy-Boy Central.

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-Jealous?

-I prefer men to boys.

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But if they can work a pair of leather trousers...

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I take it Daniel's a definite man, then?

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He has his moments.

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So this wasn't one of your eat them up and spit them out relationships?

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Well, hardly. I wouldn't be having this baby with him, would I?

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-Hey, I...

-It was a really big decision and it wasn't easy.

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We, we had to...

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Problems?

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We had to do IVF.

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Well, it worked.

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Before you know it, you'll be covered in nappies and going to bed at six o'clock.

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Why does everyone assume that because I'm having a baby my entire life is over?

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Never really figured out why you do all this.

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-What?

-This TA stuff.

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You've got your life in London.

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Why spend your weekend scrabbling in the mud?

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-It's different.

-It's lunacy.

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Corporate law isn't so sexy.

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And lying in ditches is?

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Can be.

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I've been taking sleeping tablets.

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Well, there's nothing unusual about that.

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Hang...hang on, are you saying that yesterday, it...

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it wasn't an overdose?

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No. No. It was...

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It was a combination of sleeping tablets and...

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and other things.

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Well, what other things?

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Herbal stimulants.

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You were taking sleeping pills AND stimulants?

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I couldn't sleep and I couldn't get going.

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Yeah, but you shouldn't have taken them together.

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-I know.

-You would know that. I mean, you are a doctor.

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I know, I'm a doctor, and...

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..contrary to my own advice on many occasions,

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I bought them off the internet.

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Why would you do that? Are they illegal?

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Not illegal...just...

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..I was ashamed of taking so much medication.

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It's unforgivable in my position.

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I have to go, Julia. I'm a liability.

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I think I should resign.

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Of course, you're off the booze.

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I can still be fun.

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-Oh, hello. Here comes something shiny.

-Hi.

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Jamie, this is Zara. Zara, Jamie Brooking.

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So are you a captain?

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Lieutenant.

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Kate's subordinate?

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Junior.

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Oh, you don't look so very junior to me.

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-Carmichael, I've already warned him about you.

-Oh, really?

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In the nicest way. Kate said her most beautiful friend was coming.

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Well, I won't challenge the description.

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It's true, especially in your present condition.

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Oh, congratulations. And you do look wonderful.

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Captain Sims, I take it this is your guest?

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Zara Carmichael, Major Fallon.

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-Simon.

-Simon is our officer commanding.

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And are you...

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commanding?

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Oh, I keep them in order.

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Well, meeting you two boys,

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now I understand what it is that attracted Kate to the TA.

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GONG RINGS

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-Ah, luncheon is served. Shall we, er...?

-Oh.

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It was a vasovagal attack.

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Erm, I do the money and people, remember?

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My heart slowed, that caused my blood pressure to drop.

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Right, so that's why you fainted?

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And was this all down to the drugs?

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Maybe some fatigue involved, but it was...

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it was probably down to something cardiotoxic in the medication I was buying.

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I know. I know. Prize dope.

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No pun intended.

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Elaine, I think I could have prevented this, you know.

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All that dreadful stuff with Harrison.

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You should've had more time off, I should've insisted.

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It was nothing to do with you, Julia. It was down to me.

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My own mess. My own stupid fault.

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So, you and Kate go back a long way?

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Oh, before uni, before Kate went off to do boring law.

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And before you decided to do boring medicine.

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-I imagine medicine's interesting.

-You get to meet sick people.

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And tell me, your last job was the conveyancing on a...?

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-Confectionary factory.

-Any freebies?

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It was a multi-million-pound deal.

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No, surely they could have chucked you a box of soft-centres.

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So, Jamie, what do you do on Civvy Street?

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Lieutenant Brooking is an estate agent.

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Lettings rather than sales, I believe?

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-I head up the lettings department.

-Battersea office.

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Oh. We used to warm up on the Northcote Road, before heading into town.

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Bet you were quite a combination.

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You must have made a stunning pair.

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"Stunning"?

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Isn't there must be a less tabloid term to describe beautiful women?

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Zara was the beautiful one. I was just her sidekick.

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I think you do protest...

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CROCKERY CLATTERS

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Oh! Sorry. Clumsy pregnancy thing...

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What does your therapist say?

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Ah.

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What?

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He's dumped me.

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Oh. Can he do that?

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-If he feels I'm no longer engaging with therapy.

-Ooh!

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Maybe he needs a therapist.

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Actually, maybe I should get one for the all staff.

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Especially the ones that are moving house.

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He'd have much more to deal with than that...

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Yeah. You mean like a fixation with waistcoats and bow ties.

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We wouldn't have time to do surgery.

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We'd have to put a sign up saying,

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"Sorry, closed, due to staff being in therapy."

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Except you, of course.

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Julia?

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I'm sorry. Excuse me a minute.

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Julia?

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So, which one is it?

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Juicy Jamie or Major Manhood?

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The Major's married with two children.

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-Isn't he's also a chiselled god?

-And?

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All's fair in love and war games.

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It's Jamie.

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Yummy! So what's it like when he storms your ramparts?

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Carmichael!

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Oh! So it's serious, is it?

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-It's kind of on and off.

-Well, so is it on or off?

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We did get a bit drunk in the mess last night.

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Oh, I remember those.

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Waking up in the morning to a bed full of booty.

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KATE LAUGHS

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-And a hangover and a sense of guilt.

-Well, the hangovers were a drag.

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So do you plan on getting him disorderly tonight?

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Not sure if it's a good idea.

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Sex is invariably a good idea.

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Especially if it's with your own Action Man,

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with close-cropped hair and gripping hands...

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It's over here by the Christmas tree.

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If you'd all like to step this way.

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There we are. Sopranos at the front, altos at the back.

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Doris, darling, you're a bit on the tall side,

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so altos at the back, please. Thank you.

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Freya, I should like you at the back, as well.

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I...know my resemblance to Katherine Jenkins is only passing,

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but I'm actually a soprano.

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Yes, but your ensemble does not match our ensemble.

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There was me thinking we were singing carols, not learning French?

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I told everyone to wear white blouses

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and you're wearing red! I mean...

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Just think of me as a festive bauble.

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Oh, Emily and Virginia, er, you're sopranos,

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so if you'd like to take your places over here... Yes?

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Are you a soprano?

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Yes, I am.

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Er, Hermione, darling, Hermione. Hermione.

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She's a soprano all right. She's Tony Soprano.

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Oh! Very good.

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Mrs Tembe, I thought that you at least would be taking this seriously.

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I take all my charitable ventures very seriously.

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Then can you please stop gossiping and get into line? Thank you.

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-Where's Cherry?

-I'm here!

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How many times did I tell you, you mustn't be late?

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I didn't mean to be!

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The sopranos are all ranged over here, if you'd care to take your place.

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No giggling, please.

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Right then, do come along. Come along.

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Posture, posture!

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"Here, stand up straight, you 'orrible little choir!"

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THEY ALL LAUGH

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So you and Kate were quite the girls about town?

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We had our moments.

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So who were the suitors?

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Why would you like to know?

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General interest.

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Is he a senior officer?

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Touche.

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So?

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City boys. Lawyers.

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There was one Middle-Eastern Prince who sent over a jeroboam,

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in the hope that it would hook the two of us...

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Did he get his wish?

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Not with Kate.

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So who DID Kate get involved with?

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General interest?

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Well, she's my second in command.

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So you'd like to know the history of anyone who's serving under you?

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A few long-termers. A couple of flings.

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I know of at least one...

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married man.

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With your medical training,

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you would have been a very useful member of the TA.

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Not quite my thing. I enjoy discipline.

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But I prefer dispensing it.

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Julia?

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Elaine, you shouldn't be out here.

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-I should, if you are upset.

-Oh, it's nothing.

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It's obviously not nothing.

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Well, it's just... It...it's Chloe.

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Well, no, it's not. It is Patrick, really. It's just...

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It's just such a mess!

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Come back inside.

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I really do need to get back to The Mill.

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It's your paperwork afternoon.

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Surely even talking to me's more interesting than that?

0:14:590:15:02

OK.

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Shall we begin?

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On your song sheets, number five, Frosty The Snowman.

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Yeah, I KNOW it's not traditional.

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Yes, and I know that you think that it's a jingle.

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But jingles do have their place, you know.

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Is Jingle Bells a jingle?

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-What?

-Oh, it's a fair point.

0:15:210:15:23

Clever self-reference in the title, but..

0:15:230:15:26

Look...I just think that Frosty is a jolly...

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number to begin with. That's all.

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So if you wouldn't mind? Thank you.

0:15:330:15:36

Erm...

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One, two, three...

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-MARINA DROWNS OUT THE CHOIR

-# Frosty the Snowman

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# Has a jolly happy soul

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# With a corncob pipe and a button nose

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# And two eyes made out of coal... #

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You've done him as well, haven't you?

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Who?

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Major Manhood.

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You've jumped his bones.

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When, where, and how many times?

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I can't tell you here. Come on.

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It happened when we were on exercise in Canada.

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-"Exercise" being the appropriate verb.

-I'm not proud.

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-Of bedding your commanding officer?

-I'm not proud that he's married. Or that I cheated on Jamie.

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I thought that was on and off?

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It was on at the time.

0:16:430:16:45

How long have you been seeing Jamie?

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Three years.

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But you don't love him?

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Oh, Jamie's really attentive. He's kind and thoughtful and...

0:16:500:16:54

Buys you flowers every Friday?

0:16:540:16:55

Actually, yes, he used to, before I told him to stop.

0:16:550:16:58

But Jamie's always there when I need him.

0:16:580:17:00

-A safety net?

-He's safe.

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Safe isn't sexy. Dangerous is sexy.

0:17:020:17:05

Naughty is sexy.

0:17:050:17:07

Carmichael!

0:17:070:17:08

So marks out of ten for Major Manhood?

0:17:080:17:10

We haven't gone all the way.

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Never?

0:17:120:17:14

Everything but.

0:17:140:17:15

-And how was "everything but"?

-Oh, fantastic!

0:17:160:17:20

Right, you have to take what you want.

0:17:200:17:22

Oh, what about Jamie?

0:17:220:17:24

He's your safety net.

0:17:240:17:26

Why not have a dance on the high wire?

0:17:260:17:28

Oh, I can't!

0:17:280:17:31

This is your chance.

0:17:310:17:32

If you don't take it, you could spend the rest of your life

0:17:320:17:37

wondering what it might have been like.

0:17:370:17:39

Amazing how us men can go to the powder-room unaccompanied.

0:17:540:17:58

It's more than merely functional. For us, it's a place of intrigue.

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Of gossip.

0:18:030:18:04

Of secrets revealed.

0:18:040:18:07

-What did she say?

-Perhaps she didn't say anything.

0:18:080:18:10

Zara...

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How much do you want her?

0:18:120:18:14

-I, er...

-How much...

0:18:170:18:20

do you...want her?

0:18:200:18:23

What are you waiting for?

0:18:300:18:32

Zara, I need to speak to you...

0:18:360:18:39

# So he said, "Let's run and we'll have some fun..." #

0:18:410:18:45

No, no, no, no, no, no!

0:18:450:18:46

-You're completely mistiming it!

-Marina...

-WHAT?

0:18:460:18:51

Can I just have a little word?

0:18:510:18:52

Look...

0:18:550:18:56

..we're really grateful for everything you've done

0:18:570:19:00

and putting this whole thing together, that's a real achievement.

0:19:000:19:03

Well, it would have been easier if people were a little more diligent.

0:19:030:19:06

Right. With regard to that, we...

0:19:060:19:10

That is, the choir, we're thinking that...

0:19:100:19:14

We're thinking that in terms of musical direction,

0:19:140:19:17

it might be better if somebody else took the lead.

0:19:170:19:20

So you all think it's my fault?

0:19:200:19:22

No, not "fault".

0:19:220:19:27

We just need someone with a little more sensitivity.

0:19:270:19:31

I just I wanted it to go well, that's all...

0:19:320:19:34

And it will. With a firmer hand on the tiller.

0:19:340:19:39

Or baton.

0:19:390:19:41

And who exactly were you, erm...?

0:19:410:19:43

Mrs Tembe?

0:19:440:19:46

No, this is Mrs Bonnaire's project.

0:19:460:19:49

Oh, well, if, er...

0:19:490:19:51

..that's how you feel then, erm...

0:19:520:19:54

Well...

0:19:570:19:59

Well, I...I will endeavour to honour your commitment

0:19:590:20:03

and organisation by conducting to the best of my ability.

0:20:030:20:07

Erm, page eight, please.

0:20:110:20:14

Good King Wenceslas.

0:20:150:20:18

# Aaaaa! #

0:20:190:20:21

Two, three, four.

0:20:210:20:24

# Good King Wenceslas last looked out on the feast of Stephen

0:20:240:20:30

# When the snow lay round about

0:20:300:20:33

# Deep and crisp and even

0:20:330:20:36

# Brightly shown the moon that night... #

0:20:360:20:39

I was so looking forward to having Chloe live close by, you know?

0:20:390:20:46

I'd all these plans, things we'd do together, you know,

0:20:490:20:54

we'd go for walks.

0:20:540:20:55

We'd go shopping and, er, I would take her to the cinema.

0:20:560:21:01

But is it really that definite?

0:21:010:21:04

For her mother it is.

0:21:040:21:06

And I suppose after the way that Patrick's behaved,

0:21:080:21:11

if I was being objective, which, of course, I can't be...

0:21:110:21:15

Can you try building bridges?

0:21:150:21:17

Pretty much burned them.

0:21:190:21:21

Sorry.

0:21:230:21:24

SHE SOBS

0:21:270:21:29

It was never meant to be like this. I never thought it would be.

0:21:340:21:38

A family's supposed to be a unit and mine is just scattered.

0:21:390:21:43

It's just broken.

0:21:430:21:44

Elaine, I...

0:21:460:21:48

I don't even know if I'm ever going to see Chloe again!

0:21:480:21:52

If the brass give us the nod, we'll be going on deployment next spring.

0:21:570:22:00

Well, when I say "we..."

0:22:000:22:03

You won't be volunteering?

0:22:030:22:05

Of course I'll volunteer.

0:22:050:22:07

I just I think Fallon will be recommending me for Rear Party.

0:22:070:22:10

"Rear Party"?

0:22:100:22:11

Left behind to deal with admin, family issues...

0:22:110:22:14

And what about Kate?

0:22:140:22:15

-Well, she'll be going. She's the second in command.

-His right-hand woman.

0:22:150:22:20

In his dreams.

0:22:200:22:22

He'd love a crack at her, but his wife keeps him on a short lead.

0:22:220:22:25

Especially after she caught him having an affair with someone in his firm.

0:22:250:22:29

-Really?

-Complete womaniser. Can't you tell?

0:22:290:22:32

Aren't you worried about her?

0:22:330:22:35

Active service? Sure.

0:22:350:22:37

No, I, I, I mean...

0:22:370:22:38

And I don't want to jinx it and I know it's been off and on, but...

0:22:380:22:42

I want to give her this.

0:22:420:22:44

I thought if I proposed, I could convince her of just how serious I am.

0:22:440:22:48

What do you think?

0:22:490:22:51

I think she'll get the message, but...

0:22:510:22:53

Great.

0:22:530:22:55

-W-where are you going?

-No time like the present.

0:22:550:22:58

Oh, Jamie...

0:22:580:23:00

# When a poor man came in sight

0:23:030:23:06

# Gathering winter fuel... #

0:23:060:23:12

-# 'Bring me flesh and bring me wine...' #

-Jamie!

0:23:140:23:17

# 'Bring me pine logs hither...' #

0:23:170:23:19

Jamie..!

0:23:190:23:20

# 'Thou and I will see him dine

0:23:200:23:22

# 'When we bear them thither.' #

0:23:220:23:26

Oh, no.

0:23:260:23:27

# Page and monarch forth they went... #

0:23:270:23:29

You must think I'm a complete wreck.

0:23:290:23:32

You're an amateur, compared to me.

0:23:320:23:34

Of late, I'm an Olympic-standard wreck.

0:23:340:23:37

Elaine, what are you doing at Christmas?

0:23:430:23:46

Hiding under the duvet with some non-dairy chocolates.

0:23:460:23:49

Well, would you like to do that in my house?

0:23:490:23:51

I've heard of Crisis at Christmas...

0:23:510:23:53

Well, we'll call it CRISES at Christmas.

0:23:530:23:57

I'd like to think it was charitable,

0:23:570:24:00

but, to be honest with you, I just...

0:24:000:24:03

I just can't face the thought of Christmas on my own.

0:24:030:24:07

And anyway, you need to recuperate...

0:24:070:24:09

That's very kind. I'd love to.

0:24:090:24:12

Good. Good. Good.

0:24:120:24:16

-You knew she was sleeping with Fallon!

-No, that's not...

0:24:200:24:23

-Jamie!

-How long has it been going on?

-Today!

0:24:230:24:25

-Liar!

-No, it's true.

-I showed you the ring. You could said!

0:24:250:24:28

-Why didn't you stop him?

-I...

-Now look, Brooking...

0:24:280:24:31

Jamie!

0:24:310:24:32

You'll be on a charge for that.

0:24:350:24:37

You're married! Not that that's ever stopped you.

0:24:370:24:39

-Brooking!

-What about that NATO liaison officer in Canada?

0:24:390:24:42

She any good?

0:24:420:24:44

This is your fault.

0:24:450:24:47

It was not me who was having sex with them both.

0:24:480:24:51

You wish that it was. And you wanted fireworks.

0:24:510:24:53

-No, that's not...

-You love to manipulate people, play them off against each other.

0:24:530:24:57

I seem to remember that YOU enjoyed some of that.

0:24:570:25:00

Not like you. With you, it's a psychopathic need for attention.

0:25:000:25:04

That is just not...

0:25:040:25:06

You're a little girl.

0:25:060:25:07

You're scared because you're with one man,

0:25:070:25:10

you're scared because you're pregnant and you're scared because you're getting older.

0:25:100:25:15

I am not scared.

0:25:150:25:18

You're terrified. You always were.

0:25:180:25:20

Kate...

0:25:200:25:22

Just go.

0:25:220:25:24

# We wish you a merry Christmas We wish you a merry Christmas

0:25:370:25:42

# We wish you a merry Christmas

0:25:420:25:44

# And a happy new year

0:25:440:25:46

# Good tidings we bring

0:25:460:25:49

# To you and your kin

0:25:490:25:51

# We wish you a merry Christmas

0:25:510:25:53

# And a happy new year

0:25:530:25:55

# Now bring us a figgy pudding Now bring us a figgy pudding

0:25:550:26:00

# Now bring us a figgy pudding

0:26:000:26:02

# And bring some out here... #

0:26:020:26:05

Hello, it's me.

0:26:050:26:06

I want you to call me back.

0:26:080:26:10

Because...

0:26:100:26:12

I want you to tell me that I AM a good person.

0:26:120:26:16

I know what I have been like.

0:26:170:26:19

And I know we've had some fun with that.

0:26:190:26:22

But I...

0:26:220:26:24

I want to change.

0:26:250:26:27

I want to be a good mother.

0:26:280:26:31

I want...

0:26:310:26:32

I'm just looking forward to coming home tomorrow.

0:26:350:26:39

OUR home...

0:26:400:26:42

# Good tidings we bring

0:26:430:26:45

# To you and your kin

0:26:450:26:48

# We wish you a merry Christmas

0:26:480:26:50

# And a happy new year

0:26:500:26:52

# We wish you a merry Christmas

0:26:520:26:56

# And a happy new year. #

0:26:560:27:03

Well, I'm going to tell her straight and she'll laugh and smile and...

0:27:060:27:10

That's not going to work, is it?

0:27:100:27:12

You knew about this, didn't you?

0:27:120:27:14

I want the best turkey in Letherbridge.

0:27:140:27:18

Sorry, can't help.

0:27:180:27:20

What?

0:27:200:27:22

-You might as well just tell me.

-Well, we would if we...

0:27:220:27:25

I'm not asking you, airhead, I'm asking him.

0:27:250:27:27

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

0:27:470:27:50

Email [email protected]

0:27:500:27:53

When Zara visits her TA captain friend, she is tempted into a version of her old life and hates what she finds. Meanwhile, Marina goes crazy with power as conductor of the Christmas choir, and Elaine hands in her resignation.


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