To Have and to Hold Doctors


To Have and to Hold

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MUSIC: "Je t'aime... Moi Non Plus"

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Aah, what are you doing?! Aaah!

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I have been on hold, for the last ten minutes!

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No don't you dare... I don't believe this!

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They just cut me off! I've been on the phone for an hour.

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There's no wedding venues in the whole country because

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everyone else wants to get married on the same day as us.

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-Some people.

-It's not funny, Jimmi. What we going to do?

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-We can't postpone twice.

-Well...

-Don't say it. Don't even think it.

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We're getting married next month even if I have to build the venue myself.

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PHONE RINGS

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Hello?

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No, you cut me off and I want to speak to your manager...

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Oh, erm Mr Honeychurch I thought that it was someone else.

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I left you a message this morning.

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I know that it's short notice.

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Mr Honeychurch, you have no idea how happy you've just made me.

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Yeah. Oh, absolutely, we'll be over today. OK, look forward to it. Bye.

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Last minute cancellation. I can't believe this.

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Chateau Chaumont!

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Chateau. Why does that sound familiar?

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Because...

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we thought that it was too pricey last time we looked at it.

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How pricey?

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Sort of, double.

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Oh, Cherry.

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Jimmi, please. Come on it's gorgeous, it's available,

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and it's not a smoking pile of rubble.

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Oh, we can go and have a look I suppose.

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Yes!

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ENGINE FAILS TO START

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Please, not today.

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Just give it a sec.

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You're... Careful you're going to flood it.

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I know, all right? But now is not the time to splash out on a new car.

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No, of course not.

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What's that supposed to mean?

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Nothing.

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ENGINE STARTS

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I'm looking forward to this. Honest.

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-Something fizzy. Ooh and salt and vinegar.

-OK.

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And get some sweets.

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What? It's a road trip, snacks are obligatory.

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A road trip?

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And nothing chewy, I hate chewy.

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And get us one of those sherbet dipper things, too.

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What are you, eight years old?

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# Well, I don't know why I came here tonight

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# I got a feeling that something ain't right

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# I'm scared in case I fall off my chair

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# And I'm wondering how to get down the stairs

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# Clowns to the left of me

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# Jokers to the right

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# Here I am Stuck in the middle with you

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# Yes, I am stuck in the middle with you. #

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Oh, sorry.

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-Boys.

-Yeah tell me about it.

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-Husbands to be by the looks of it.

-Yeah, congratulations.

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-Yeah you too. How's it all going?

-Oh, there's still so much to do.

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-And if we don't do it, who will.

-I swear, if it were up to the guys

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we'd be getting married in a bowling alley.

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# Pleeeeease

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# Pleeeeease. #

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Never going to happen.

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Here, you have it.

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Oh, I think you were there first.

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-I insist.

-Thanks.

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-And good luck with the big day.

-Yeah, you too. Bye.

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That's right, back to where it was. To you a bit.

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That's it.

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And find somewhere to put these, will you? Preferably in the nearest skip.

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Charles, what do you think you're doing? Put those back, please.

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He'll do no such thing. Honestly, Beth, you always did have the most appalling taste.

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Indeed, I did marry you, after all. Put those cushions back.

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Put everything back the way it was.

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My instructions entirely. The old decor is back.

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Fine, if you throw them away I'll just buy new ones.

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And I'll just remove them.

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I have all the time in the world.

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So do I.

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A clear winner, wouldn't you say? Thank you.

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TRUMPET FANFARE

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I met her on the way here.

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Joel, you should let them park. She did me a favour earlier.

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Small world!

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-Thanks.

-No problem.

-Great minds think alike.

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Yeah, I know! It's a perfect venue for a wedding!

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Beats a bowling alley.

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See you later!

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-They seem nice.

-Yeah. Oh, there's a free parking space over there.

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Oh, what?! Come on!

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It's, er, it's big, isn't it?

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Yeah. See I knew you'd love it.

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RINGS BELL

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-Good morning.

-Hi.

-And what can I do for such a charming young couple?

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I think we spoke on the phone earlier, you've got a cancellation.

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Of course. And you are...

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Cherry Malone, and my fiance, Jimmi Clay.

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Charles Honeychurch. Delighted. Now...

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Just dot all the "I's" cross all the "T's"...

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Yep, everything seems to be in order.

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I've put you down for a preliminary booking. If you decide to get married here,

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you'll need to leave a deposit, 10%.

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That's fine.

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Well, I imagine you'd like to take a tour of the place.

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-Yes, please.

-After you.

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So you're saying it's my fault?

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-No, I'm just saying I wouldn't have bought it in the first place.

-Oh, right. So it is my fault.

-No.

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Well, look there's a bell there.

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You haven't even said if you like the place.

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Of course I like it. It's...

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It's great.

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-Hello!

-Elizabeth Honeychurch?

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Call me Beth, dear. Elizabeth sounds so stuffy. Now let me guess.

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-Marissa and?

-Joel.

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Joel!

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You make a delightful couple, I can tell just by looking at you.

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Now, let me just double check the venue's free on the day we discussed. No, no other bookings.

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-So if it's the place for you we'll just need a 10% deposit.

-Of course. Card or cheque?

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Oh, we can settle that after the tour.

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-You don't know if you want it yet!

-Oh, I think we will, won't we honey?

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Follow me!

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And we usually have, er, the row of chairs down there and there,

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of course, leaving the central aisle for the bride to walk down.

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So that means that...

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We'd be saying our vows here.

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Well, don't you think that our guests might be swamped by this...

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size of room?

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Well, we'll just have to invite more people then, won't we?

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How many were you thinking?

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-A hundred?!

-At least.

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-That's not a problem.

-Um.

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We usually place the long banquet table for the bride, groom

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and immediate family at the head of the room.

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-If you like we can position the smaller tables.

-Could you excuse us for just a second please?

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-What?

-Maybe we can invite that many to the ceremony,

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but definitely not the reception, OK.

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Joel, we're having the ceremony and the reception here.

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I'm not sending half the guests home just so we don't have to feed them.

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Well. Do we have to invite everyone?

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-Of course we do!

-But just cos there's a lot of room in here,

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-it doesn't mean we have to fill it.

-We should get our money's worth.

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Cos on my side there's only my sister and her husband and my nephew.

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And aside from that a handful of mates, How will we make the numbers up?

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-Once we've gone through my address book we'll be turning people away.

-Erm, the room fits 120 at a push.

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See? Looks like there's enough room after all!

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We can bring in an excellent caterer,

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offering a sliding scale of prices per head.

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The minimum is £40 per guest, going all the way up...

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-We'll take that one, thanks.

-Of course.

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It includes three courses which you can discuss with the caterer directly.

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And I assume you'll be wanting several cases of champagne?

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Absolutely.

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Some brides have arranged to have little heart shaped charms

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attached to the stems of all the champagne flutes.

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It's a little extra of course, but it adds a certain je ne sais quoi.

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Mmm! Fantastique!

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We'll continue on, shall we?

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So? What do you think?

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It's, er it's perfect.

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It's perfect.

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I don't care what else happens, I'm going to make a big

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Gone With The Wind entrance as I descend the grand stairs in my wedding dress.

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Oh, I like that. Can I steal that?

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Oh, be my guest. Although not literally, the list's rather full.

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Can you believe this place?

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Nope.

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I can't believe this is happening. It's like a dream come true.

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Literally. My fantasy wedding as a kid? You're looking at it.

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Same here. It was a real stroke of luck getting it.

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The day we wanted it for? Last minute cancellation.

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Yeah, same as us. When exactly are you guys getting married?

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Only the most romantic day of the year.

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Yeah, us too.

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Don't say it.

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BOTH: Valentines day.

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Is this your idea of perfect?

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Another double booking in as many weeks!

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-So that was my fault too, was it?

-You know perfectly well it was.

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Now go and tell that poor young couple you've wasted their time.

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-Hah! Tell your couple they've lost the venue. Mine were here first.

-Mine were booked first!

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Yes, a preliminary booking as well you know.

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-You won't win this one, Charles.

-Well, we'll see about that.

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I'm sorry, but me and Jimmi were here first.

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Maybe if you hadn't stolen our parking space.

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-Excuse me?

-You heard me.

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Girls, why don't we just flip a coin?

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-I let you have that magazine.

-Oh, a magazine, well that changes everything.

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-Er, there's no need to take that tone.

-Hey, don't speak to my girlfriend.

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Hey don't speak to her?

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You know what I mean.

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We'll see who's right about this. Er, excuse me, there seems to be a bit of a problem here.

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I expect you'd like to leave that deposit?

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-Yes, that'd be great. Thank you.

-Wait a minute.

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Aah, Miss Green. That deposit.

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How would you like to pay?

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Er, hang on a minute, there's, there's been a bit of a mix up.

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My husband is aware of his error but don't worry, your booking is safe.

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-That'll be £400.

-Ignore my wife.

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As far as I'm concerned the venue is yours for February the 14th.

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Er, sorry excuse me we, we both can't take it? So which one of us is it?

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We'll pay more.

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If you let us take the venue we'll go up by five hundred.

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-Marissa.

-Six hundred.

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-Seven.

-Marissa!

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I'll keep going.

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Well, it looks like we have a clear winner.

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Er no, we don't. I can't pay that. I'm sorry.

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I can't do this.

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Joel.

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Well, I hope you're satisfied.

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-Another couple at each others' throats because of you.

-I don't have to listen to this.

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Who'd want to get married here?

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This is where relationships come to die!

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Maybe she's right.

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-What do you mean?

-Maybe this isn't where we should be starting our future together.

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They're the problem, Jimmi, not the place. I love this place.

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Yeah, I know.

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I've never been so embarrassed in my life.

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Just couldn't stand there and watch you throw our money away.

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I was trying to get the venue of our dreams.

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Your dreams, Marissa. Apparently I'm just here to agree with you.

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And what's that supposed to mean?

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You're trying to make us pay thousands of pounds

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for a single day. that's money we just don't have.

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I'm sorry, but I thought we had over ten grand in the bank.

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Or did you blow it all at the dog track?

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Oh, yeah, because that would be irresponsible, wouldn't it?

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You want to blow 500 quid on a cake!

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A wedding is the most important day of a woman's life.

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You know, it never ceases to depress me when people say that.

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-Fine, make fun of me.

-I'm not. I just want you to think, all right.

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Think how long it took us to save that money.

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We can always earn more money.

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Yeah and meanwhile we're living in a broom cupboard, our car's fit for the scrap heap.

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Will you stop going on about that stupid car?

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-Is that all you care about?

-And what do you care about, eh, Marissa?

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Apart from showing off to your stupid family.

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I just want them to be proud of me, is that so bad?

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Yeah, it is when you're a glutton for punishment.

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Marissa, if we got married sky-diving with fireworks

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blasting out of every orifice,

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your family wouldn't even strain their necks to look up.

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You're a funny guy, Joel.

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Since you like jokes so much, have you heard the one about the girl

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who called off the wedding because her fiance was such a cheapskate?

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You're right actually, that is funny!

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I'm not coming after you!

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You OK?

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Do I look OK?

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-Ow!

-Beth, Beth!

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You're a boor! And a brute!

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For goodness sake woman, control yourself!

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SMASHING AND SHOUTING

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Aghh. You're poisonous!

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Stop! Stop it! Stop that!

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-Aagh!

-Hey, hey. Come on!

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-See? This is what he's like.

-She started it.

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BOTH SPEAK AT ONCE: Pompous, arrogant, irrational, mean spirited...

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Don't you think you should try listening instead of just trading insults?

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I've been listening to him for over 40 years. His grumbling. His snoring.

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His interminable anecdotes!

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Yes, yes. Blah, blah, blah. See that's all I hear. A high pitched blah, blah, blah!

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You won't have to put up with it for much longer. I'm leaving.

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Hah! If I had a penny for every time you said that.

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-This time I mean it.

-I'd be able to retire to the Maldives!

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I want a divorce.

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You wouldn't know it to look at her but she's really insecure.

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Why?

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It's her parents. They've never shown the slightest bit of interest in her.

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Marissa's a fashion designer.

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You know, she's just starting out but you should see her stuff. She's so talented.

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Whenever she has a show she invites her parents along and they never turn up.

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As far as they're concerned anything "arty" is a complete waste of time.

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Oh, and they just love me. Yeah, the lowly graphic designer.

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Her ex had money. She split up with him ages ago because he was cheating on her,

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-but they still pester Marissa to call him.

-They sound delightful.

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Don't they?

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That's why I don't get all this.

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Her sister got married last year and she had this big overblown wedding.

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Marissa thought the whole thing was ridiculous.

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Yet now all of a sudden she's trying to compete. It's madness.

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Why can't she see she's wasting her time trying to impress her family?

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It's sad. Maybe she just wants them to love her.

0:17:430:17:48

Yeah but I love her. Is that not enough?

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If you let her know that you're on her side, hopefully it will be.

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I know we quarrel sometimes. What couple doesn't?

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Quarrel? Have you any idea how it hurts? The daily put downs.

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Being undermined at every turn.

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You're just as bad as I am!

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Yes. And I hate myself for it.

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We used to love each other, Charles.

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Now we don't even seem to like each other any more.

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It's just the stress of running a business.

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Well, it's brought out the worst in us. I can't do it any more.

0:18:250:18:28

-Um, if I could...

-If you think I'm leaving you've got another thing coming!

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Somebody has to leave. We can't both live here!

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Fine, well off you go then. Bye-bye.

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I've worked my fingers to the bone to make this place what it is.

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Yes, and I've worked for 35 years earning the money to pay for it.

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I've raised two children! Cooked. Cleaned. Washed your underpants.

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If you don't think that's work you're an even bigger pig than

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I thought.

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If you could just make a decision on the venue then we could be on our way.

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I'm going to enjoy having the house to myself.

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A bit of peace and quiet for, for once.

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That won't happen. You better get a good lawyer, because I'm going to take you to the cleaners.

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I can't wait to be free of you!

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Agh!

0:19:150:19:16

Mr Honeychurch.

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I'm a doctor. Take a seat.

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I Can't...

0:19:190:19:22

STRUGGLES FOR BREATH

0:19:220:19:23

Can't breathe.

0:19:230:19:26

Don't indulge him. He's just putting it on.

0:19:260:19:28

I don't think he is.

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Charles?

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I suppose they got their deposit in while we were outside.

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No, they wouldn't do that.

0:19:430:19:44

Sorry.

0:19:440:19:46

Look, there's something I need to say.

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Me too.

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I just called Mum. Told her about our fight.

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You know what she said?

0:19:550:19:57

I can have a good guess.

0:19:570:19:58

She said you're a loser and I should get out while I still can.

0:19:580:20:03

So I told her to get stuffed.

0:20:050:20:07

Really?

0:20:070:20:10

And then I hung up on her.

0:20:100:20:12

Wow! I'm sorry I missed that.

0:20:120:20:14

Marissa, if you want a big wedding then I'm going to do everything

0:20:140:20:21

I can to try and make that happen, because I love you.

0:20:210:20:24

I just need to know that you're doing it for the right reasons.

0:20:250:20:29

I don't know what I want any more.

0:20:290:20:32

Except to be with you.

0:20:340:20:35

Does it hurt in your chest?

0:20:430:20:45

Or, or is the pain up and down your left arm?

0:20:450:20:48

Get...

0:20:480:20:50

Get...

0:20:500:20:53

Get... an ambulance?

0:20:530:20:55

-No. Get her out of here.

-What?! I'm not going anywhere!

0:20:550:20:58

-Get...

-I told you I'm staying right here!

0:20:580:21:01

Get... My spray.

0:21:010:21:03

-Spray? What's he talking about.

-Spray? Angina spray? Do you have angina?

0:21:030:21:07

Where is it?

0:21:070:21:08

Digging into my backside. I can't...

0:21:080:21:12

In your pocket? OK. Ah.

0:21:120:21:15

Got it. There you go.

0:21:150:21:18

Better?

0:21:240:21:26

Why didn't you tell me you had angina?

0:21:260:21:29

Really, Charles, of all the stupid things you've done.

0:21:290:21:32

Mrs Honeychurch.

0:21:320:21:33

Is he going to be all right?

0:21:330:21:34

-Yeah, he's going to be fine.

-You should've told me.

-Why?

0:21:340:21:38

So you could boss me about? Take over this place?

0:21:380:21:43

So I could look after you, you silly old fool!

0:21:430:21:46

-I'm sorry.

-You scared the life out of me.

0:21:520:21:54

You scared the life out of me too.

0:21:550:21:58

Stick to the diet. Gentle exercise. And try and keep stress to a minimum.

0:22:000:22:05

We'll certainly try our best.

0:22:050:22:06

-Thank you, doctor.

-Don't mention it.

0:22:060:22:09

-What have I missed?

-I'll tell you later. Can we go now, please?

0:22:090:22:12

Is there anything we can do to return the favour?

0:22:120:22:14

Er well, there is one thing.

0:22:140:22:18

Of course. Consider the venue yours.

0:22:180:22:22

With our blessing.

0:22:220:22:23

Thank you!

0:22:230:22:25

Aah, Miss Green, Mr Morrisey.

0:22:270:22:29

I'm afraid we have some rather disappointing news.

0:22:290:22:32

Er... Er I've, I've changed my mind.

0:22:320:22:35

I want, I want them to have it.

0:22:350:22:38

Look Cherry, I know you want to do the nice thing but it's a bit crazy.

0:22:380:22:42

It's OK. Some things are more important. I want you guys to have it.

0:22:420:22:45

That's so kind of you. We know how much it means to you to get married here.

0:22:450:22:49

Which is why we came in to say, you should have it.

0:22:490:22:52

Yeah we've, er, decided to elope.

0:22:520:22:56

No more ungrateful relatives.

0:22:560:22:58

No more panicking about money.

0:22:580:23:00

Just the two of us.

0:23:000:23:01

Somewhere quiet and romantic.

0:23:010:23:05

Sounds... Perfect.

0:23:050:23:06

Ready? Push!

0:23:100:23:12

-Have a lovely wedding.

-You too. Bye!

0:23:140:23:17

Whoo-hoo!

0:23:250:23:27

Ah. So....

0:23:310:23:32

This is all ours?

0:23:330:23:35

Yeah.

0:23:350:23:36

Are you OK?

0:23:380:23:39

This is what you want, isn't it?

0:23:390:23:42

Yeah, of course.

0:23:420:23:44

Maybe Marissa and Joel and have got the right idea.

0:23:440:23:48

Yeah, they do. For them.

0:23:480:23:51

I knew I was marrying you for a reason.

0:23:510:23:53

That was us once upon a time.

0:23:540:23:56

It could be again.

0:23:590:24:00

No. Too much has come between us.

0:24:000:24:03

This place, you mean?

0:24:030:24:05

Children and work. Responsibility. It never ends.

0:24:050:24:08

Not much of a retirement.

0:24:080:24:11

This is the house we always dreamed of.

0:24:110:24:14

Dreams change. We could take a leaf out of the youngsters' book.

0:24:140:24:18

Elope somewhere.

0:24:190:24:22

We've worked too hard to throw all this away.

0:24:220:24:25

Who says we have to? We can simply stand down.

0:24:250:24:28

Pass the mantle to the children.

0:24:300:24:32

It would do you good to rest more.

0:24:330:24:37

But what if it's too late to go back to that?

0:24:370:24:39

Love is in the little things.

0:24:390:24:41

MUSIC: "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Queen.

0:24:440:24:47

# This thing called love

0:24:470:24:50

# I just can't handle it

0:24:500:24:53

# This thing called love

0:24:530:24:56

# I must get round to it

0:24:560:24:59

# I ain't ready

0:24:590:25:01

# Crazy little thing called love

0:25:010:25:03

# This (This Thing) called love (Called Love)

0:25:050:25:08

# It cries (Like a baby) In a cradle all night

0:25:080:25:12

# It swings (Woo Woo) It jives (Woo Woo)

0:25:120:25:15

# It shakes all over like a jelly fish

0:25:150:25:18

# I kinda like it

0:25:180:25:20

# Crazy little thing called love

0:25:200:25:22

# There goes my baby

0:25:230:25:26

# She knows how to rock n' roll

0:25:280:25:30

# She drives me crazy

0:25:300:25:33

# She gives me hot and cold fever

0:25:330:25:35

# Then she leaves me in A cool cool sweat

0:25:350:25:37

# I gotta be cool relax

0:25:420:25:45

# Get hip Get on my tracks

0:25:460:25:49

# Take a back seat, hitch-hike

0:25:490:25:51

# And take a long ride on my motor bike

0:25:520:25:55

# Until I'm ready

0:25:550:25:57

# Crazy little thing called love. #

0:25:570:25:59

SHE GIGGLES

0:26:060:26:07

Oh, that is lovely.

0:26:140:26:18

-£1,000 on the wedding cake?

-Yes.

0:26:180:26:22

Don't you dare follow me.

0:26:220:26:24

No one even eats wedding cake.

0:26:300:26:32

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

0:26:500:26:52

E-mail [email protected]

0:26:520:26:54

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