Sorting Nana Mo Doctors


Sorting Nana Mo

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You didn't tell me we'd be hanging out at the shops.

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What are we even doing here? It's so early!

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Chill out, will you? I've just got a couple of errands to run.

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Errands? Rock 'n' roll.

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Then I need to pop in on my Nana Mo and all.

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Could this get any better?

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I said I'd help with a spot of heavy lifting. Might be a two-man job.

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What is this, do a good deed day or something?

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-There's a pint in it for you.

-Just the one?

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Two, if there's no moaning.

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Wait here, I've got something to sort out.

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No, no, no. The proper way, please.

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PHONE RINGS Mum?

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Hey, good news. Elaine can fit us in for family therapy on Friday.

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Recipe for disaster, if you ask me.

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Well, we're doing it, whether you like it or not.

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If we have to sit around talking about our feelings, count me out.

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Hey! Come on. You're part of this family, too.

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-We're all in this together.

-What, Dad, too?

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Yeah. He'll be there and Imogen's up for it.

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-So, no excuses.

-Whatever.

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Charlie! What's going on?

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What happened? You weren't gone that long.

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-Just go home, Jack.

-What's he supposed to have done?

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What's going on?

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Should you not be on your way to school?

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Inset day.

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Hmm. Really? And you are spending it out here?

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Shut myself out. Stupid door.

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Then get your father to let you back in!

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-DOORBELL RINGS

-Can't.

-Why not?

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He's out. On a job.

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And when will he be back?

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In the meantime, you are planning just to sit here?

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Well, do you want to come inside and wait? Until he returns?

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Better not.

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Are you thirsty?

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Bit.

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Well, I have lemonade. Freshly made. Nice and cold.

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It is up to you.

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-What the hell's going on?

-Typical police incompetence, that's what.

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Arrest the innocent bystander,

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so they can tick off their arrest quotas.

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-Come on. What happened?

-Nightmare.

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-So?

-I've done nothing wrong.

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Glad to hear it.

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-I was just...

-Hey, Dad.

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What are you doing here?

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We, erm. Have you met my mate, Charlie? My dad.

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-Not in any kind of trouble, are you?

-No! Course not.

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-We were just...

-Researching. For college.

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Seeing the criminal justice system from all sides.

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Start to finish.

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Since when did you do college work in the holidays?

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-Since we've got a really important year coming up.

-Right, I see.

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Well, if you need anything on police procedure, I'm sure I can help.

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Think we've seen enough for one day. We have to be somewhere, anyway. Come on, Jack, let's go.

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Tembe. Mrs. Me? A concerned citizen.

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Is he really not required to attend school today?

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I see.

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Well, he will be in in the morning. Bright and early.

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Told you.

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I think we should call him.

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Maybe he could pop home, and let you back in?

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-Too far.

-I see.

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Well, Cameron, until your father comes home,

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I will be in loco parentis.

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When did you last eat?

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-Had some chips.

-For breakfast?!

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Last night. Just after Dad left.

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Your father left last night?

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Cameron, have you been on your own all night?

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I can look after myself. I can use a microwave!

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I'm sure you can. But a growing boy needs a proper breakfast.

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Tell me, do you like boiled eggs with soldiers?

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Thank you.

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Well, if it isn't Robbie Hollins?

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Talbot, what you doing here? Thought you'd be in Coventry.

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-Letherbridge is stuck with me for longer than you thought.

-Or hoped. What's on the agenda?

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Drug dealing at the shopping precinct.

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-Consequence. You, me, a small room and eight hours of surveillance.

-Great, my kind of day(!)

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Thought you'd be pleased.

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-Chance to put your feet up, have a good old goss.

-This today's?

-Yeah.

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Something wrong, Robbie?

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No. No, no. Nothing to worry about. And it's Rob.

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It cannot be helped. I have a domestic crisis.

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I just wish you could have given me a bit more notice.

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If I had known about it in advance, there would not be a crisis.

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Cameron, the butter and jam are in the fridge.

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'Do you think you might be in by lunchtime?'

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It is difficult to say.

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It could all be resolved in a few minutes.

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The toast, it's burning.

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Or it could take all day.

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No! Not with the knife!

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What's going on there? Is everything all right?

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Of course. Everything is under control.

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Right, well, I suppose I'll see you when I see you, then?

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That would be best. Hopefully, Mrs Hollins will manage.

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I have frequently had to cover for her, without complaint.

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Mmm. I wasn't suggesting you should...

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Be rest assured, I will be in, if not this afternoon, then first thing in the morning.

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Until then, I'm afraid there is nothing I can do.

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'I am needed elsewhere.'

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You never told me your dad was a copper.

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We try and keep it in the family. He'll be right on to you. Guaranteed.

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-So, you going to tell me what I'm covering you for?

-Told you. It's a set up.

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They must have had something to go on.

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-Dad?

-'Jack. What's going on?'

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Nothing. Just hanging out.

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-This mate of yours, Charlie...

-Dad...!

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I know exactly what's going on.

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-I'm glad you do. Cos I don't have a clue.

-Don't lie to me, son.

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You promised me you wouldn't get involved in drugs again.

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What you talking about?

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I'll tell you exactly what I'm talking about.

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A shopping precinct this morning. 8.46.

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20-year-old lad, by the name of Charlie Milligan, gets taken in and cautioned.

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-Nothing to do with me.

-So what were you doing with him? Or are you his legal advisor?

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-Just helping him out.

-A word of warning, son.

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People will judge you by the company you keep.

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-And if you're friends...

-He's a good bloke.

-Just be careful.

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-That's all I'm saying.

-Dad, I know what I'm doing.

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Mate, what were you thinking?

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It was just a bit of blow! I hadn't had any. Personal use only.

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-Oh, that's all right then(!)

-Not MY personal use.

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So, what, you're dealing?! This just gets better and better.

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I just had to get hold of some for someone who needs it.

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Can we drop it? Come on, we got a sideboard to shift.

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I could help you, if you like.

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That would be very kind. Thank you.

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Did you enjoy your breakfast?

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So, if you had not locked yourself out,

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how were you planning to spend your day?

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Kill a few pigs. Hopefully pick up a golden egg.

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Uh-uh. No. Not today. I have plenty of books.

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I will lend you something to read.

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Do you like trains?

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Dinosaurs?

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I know! Space. I am sure I have something about stars.

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What is your favourite subject at school?

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Quite like science.

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Science! What a coincidence.

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I too have a passion for science!

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DOORBELL RINGS

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-Charlie!

-All right, Nana?

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I brought my mate, Jack. He's come to give us a hand.

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-Nice to meet you, Mrs Milligan.

-Call me Mo. Everyone else does.

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Needs shifting into the front room,

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to make way for this blasted dunking stool.

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She's getting a chairlift fitted.

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Not my preferred way to make an entrance, but...needs must.

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Don't worry. We'll shift it in a jiffy.

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I'm sure you will. Big strong lad like you.

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-I'll put the kettle on.

-You didn't tell me she was so...

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Where d'you think I get my natural charisma from? Let's try this.

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Nah. Let's take some of this out.

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-Led Zep? Are you serious?

-Oh, yeah. Remnants of a life well lived.

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Her and John Bonham go way back, apparently.

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Still, days in mosh pit are over now, what with arthritis and that.

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And her trouble finding pain relief.

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-Please, don't tell me...

-Nowt quite like it to take the edge off, apparently.

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I don't believe this. You give your Nan a birthday card,

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let her kiss you at Christmas - you don't score weed for her!

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Nana Mo's not like other grannies.

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I can see that. But do you realise how risky it is?

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Used to grow her own for years. Never done her any harm.

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I don't mean for her, I meant for you - you're a law student!

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Look, just cos it's the law, Jack, don't make it right.

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-Then sign a petition. Go on a march.

-I don't think Nana Mo can wait that long.

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Talk to a doctor. Tell your parents.

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Look, you keep moving this stuff and I'll go and make a cup of tea, eh?

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Is it ready yet?

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Not quite. You have to beat it into submission.

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-Something wrong?

-No.

-Here, you try.

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Put some muscle into it.

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Cheers.

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Question. Would you let your daughter go to a premiere dressed like that?

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Put it away, will you?

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That's what someone should have said to her!

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Credit to her parents, eh?

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Do you have to eat that in here?

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Got to keep my strength up. Could be in for the long haul.

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Sardine and soy. Packed full of protein. Want a bit?

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No, thanks.

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Here's Charlie, when he was captain of the under-12s.

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-Such a good looking lad, even then.

-Hasn't changed a bit.

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And here...are his A-level results. I remember the day.

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He came running straight round.

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Wanted ME to be the first to know.

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A in General Studies, eh?

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Oh, yes. Did me proud. Especially after the start he'd had.

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Still, got you back on track, didn't I, love?

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Taught me everything I know, didn't you?

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Oh! Oh. No good. Stupid thing.

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It's all right. I'll do it.

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Help yourself to a biscuit, love. They're home-made.

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-Er, you might want to pass on those.

-Why? What's in them?

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He's just kidding. It's just vanilla.

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Unfortunately.

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Don't suppose you've had any luck with you-know-what?

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Shame. I had such a bad night.

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-What about your friend here? Couldn't he help?

-Nana!

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Well, if you don't ask! You students.

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-You're not like you were in my day.

-I dunno about that.

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We like a good protest march, don't we, Jack?

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-We all got involved last year. Over the fees.

-Pff.

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Oh, it's pretty easy to get angry when you stand to lose personally,

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but my generation, we didn't just think of ourselves.

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We stood up for lots of things that were nothing to do with us.

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She always liked a good fight.

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Too right. You know, Jack? I was in Paris in '68.

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Digging up the cobbles with me bare hands.

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And I got dragged kicking and screaming from Greenham Common.

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Not that you'd think so to look at me now.

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Oh, aye. We knew how to get things done.

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-Talking of getting things done...

-Yeah.

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I could not believe it when my father first showed me this trick.

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I thought it would never work.

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Smooth it on your side a bit more.

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Make it nice and even.

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Did your Dad do lots of cool stuff with you?

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Not especially. He was very busy with his job. Like your father.

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Does he go away for work a lot?

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Sometimes.

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Remember the hole in the top.

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Now, I think we are nearly there.

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Would you like to do the honours?

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Slowly, slowly.

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Cool! How does it work?

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It is basic chemistry.

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But also a little bit of magic.

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We have to tip it or it's not going to go through.

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Quite selfish, aren't we?

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We're here, aren't we? Come on, shift it.

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What is wrong with you?

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You're not thinking about doing something stupid, are you? Charlie, come on.

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Helping an old lady. Is that so wrong?

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-You're in enough trouble already. Let's move.

-Come on, mate, everyone does a bit of blow.

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Not when they want to work in law.

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How are you going to get into chambers with a police record?

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So I should just sit back and watch her suffer? I can't do that.

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Noooo!

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It's all right. There's no harm done.

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I can't even clear me own tea things!

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Help me up, love?

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Where are you going?

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-To the shopping precinct, of course, to score some hooch.

-I don't think so.

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The police are only looking for young lads in hoodies.

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Who's going to notice me?

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If I get caught, I'll...make a fuss,

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or tie myself to one of the railings. Wouldn't be the first time.

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You're not going anywhere. Sit down. Will you look after her?

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I'm going to have to go and sort this out.

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Charlie!

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Charlie, stop.

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-You don't give up, do you?

-Wonder where I get that from(?)

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I know you don't want to let her down but, if you get into trouble, that's exactly what you'll do.

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How d'you work that out?

0:17:240:17:25

What if you get caught a second time?

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You won't just get a caution. You'll get a conviction.

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How's that going to make her proud?

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-There might be another way.

-How?

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I'll go.

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There is cheese and ham,

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and anything else you want, just ask.

0:17:450:17:49

-What is your favourite food?

-Crisps.

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Feel free to add some tomatoes, too.

0:17:520:17:55

My mum hates tomatoes. Says they're the devil's food.

0:17:550:17:59

That is my view of aubergines. But tomatoes, I like.

0:17:590:18:03

Your mother, I do not think I have met her yet.

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She doesn't live with us. Not any more.

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Do you still see her?

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Have you got any pickle?

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Don't worry, love. I'll pick something up on the way home.

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Yeah, all right. See you when I see you. Bye.

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Ho-ho-ho! Little lady's got you right where she wants you.

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We call it give and take in our house.

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What, she gives you grief, then takes all your hard-earned?

0:18:360:18:40

You're not a family man, are you, Derek?

0:18:400:18:42

-More trouble than they're worth, if you ask me.

-I didn't.

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Observation. Family men. Always on the defensive.

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What is that? Some kind of law of the jungle,

0:19:010:19:03

where you think you might get eaten by your young?

0:19:030:19:06

-I saw a documentary not so long ago, about the Serengeti..

-Just shut up for a minute.

0:19:060:19:11

Looks like we've got a punter.

0:19:110:19:12

Go on, hand over the cash, complete the transaction, there's a good lad.

0:19:340:19:41

Get your wallet out.

0:19:410:19:43

What was all that about?

0:19:470:19:48

Stand down. It's a false alarm. Repeat, it's a false alarm.

0:19:480:19:52

What's he playing at?

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POLICE RADIO

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I think the kid thought better of it.

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Since when did kids today ever think about anything other than themselves?

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Waste of space, the lot of them.

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I don't think you can tar them all with the same brush.

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True I suppose. The ones that aren't hanging round on streets corners

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are sitting at home, sponging off their parents

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or plotting some other way to seriously let them down.

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Still, you'd know all about that, wouldn't you, eh?

0:20:190:20:22

-What's that supposed to mean?

-Well, you being a family man and all.

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-You sure you want to do that?

-Of course.

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You are too clever for me.

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-Dad?

-It's fine. It is only a few counters.

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I will help you pick them up.

0:20:510:20:53

I am sure he will be back soon.

0:20:570:21:01

You can tell him all about our volcano.

0:21:030:21:06

You did enjoy the volcano?

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Shouldn't even be here.

0:21:110:21:13

Cameron, you locked yourself out. It could happen to anyone.

0:21:130:21:18

I was supposed to stay inside.

0:21:190:21:21

If it is that important for you to be inside, why did you not say so?

0:21:230:21:29

Tell me, do you like climbing?

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It is an old trick my uncle showed me,

0:21:410:21:44

when his wife went to the Kalahari and took the keys with her.

0:21:440:21:50

We used a spade, but this should work just as well.

0:21:500:21:53

That is it.

0:21:530:21:56

-Now, push!

-Can't.

0:21:560:21:59

Of course you can. You have to have the knack. Ah!

0:21:590:22:04

And you do. Now for the fun part.

0:22:060:22:09

Be careful. All right?

0:22:150:22:17

-Are you all right, Cameron?

-Yes, thanks!

0:22:260:22:29

-Ha-ha! Sorted.

-You're joking.

0:22:400:22:43

You can phone her if you want. Tell her her 'pain relief' is on its way.

0:22:430:22:47

How'd you manage that?

0:22:470:22:48

I merely suggested to our friendly neighbourhood dealer that he might

0:22:480:22:52

consider home deliveries, instead of standing around on street corners.

0:22:520:22:56

Then I pointed him to his first customer.

0:22:560:22:58

Pretty sure I got the address right. Hope so.

0:22:590:23:02

Hang on, so your big idea was to send a dealer to my nan's house?

0:23:020:23:07

Kind of like Meals on Wheels. 'Cept it's Deals on Wheels.

0:23:070:23:10

Not sure I want her hanging about with people like that.

0:23:100:23:14

You need to phone and tell her to put £20 under the mat.

0:23:140:23:17

-He'll pop the gear through the letter box. Everyone's happy.

-Sure you haven't done this before?

0:23:170:23:22

It's genius, even if I do say so myself.

0:23:220:23:25

Think I'll just pop round anyway. Make sure she knows what to do.

0:23:250:23:29

Please, just phone her. Stay well out of it.

0:23:290:23:32

Have you forgotten something?

0:23:370:23:41

Thanks. And for the volcano.

0:23:420:23:45

-It was cool.

-You are very welcome.

0:23:450:23:49

Miss Tembe?

0:23:500:23:51

Yes, Cameron?

0:23:520:23:54

Please don't tell my dad. About what happened.

0:23:540:23:58

And let him know that you beat me at draughts?

0:23:590:24:02

That will remain our secret.

0:24:040:24:06

-You do it on purpose, don't you?

-Dunno what you're talking about.

0:24:330:24:37

Is it to wind me up or like your sister, are you set on making a fool of me?

0:24:370:24:41

Maybe bring this up on Friday?

0:24:410:24:42

Don't get smart with me. This is about you, at the precinct.

0:24:420:24:45

-Free country, isn't it?

-Talking to a dealer.

0:24:450:24:49

Have you been spying on me?

0:24:490:24:51

-You want to tell me what you were doing?

-Er...no!

0:24:510:24:54

Come on, Jack, You're caught on camera, trying to score.

0:24:540:24:58

Unless, of course there's a reasonable explanation.

0:24:580:25:01

-Considered that, have you?

-What is it?

0:25:010:25:03

-You should be proud, after what I've done.

-What is it exactly that you've done?

0:25:030:25:06

I'll tell you what you've done. Hung out with a drug user.

0:25:060:25:09

Been caught on camera with a suspected drug dealer.

0:25:090:25:12

Great, you can really hold your head up high(!)

0:25:120:25:15

If you must know, I was helping a mate.

0:25:150:25:17

-How does that work?

-You'll just have to trust me.

0:25:170:25:19

I swear, if you're messing with drugs again...

0:25:190:25:22

Dad, I haven't done anything wrong.

0:25:220:25:24

Well, let's just say that I do believe you.

0:25:260:25:28

It was still a hell of a risk for a college project.

0:25:280:25:31

You could have been trapped, got caught up in a raid, had something planted on you.

0:25:310:25:36

I keep my distance from him. There was no contact made.

0:25:360:25:38

-Legally, you can't pin a thing on me.

-Not necessarily.

-Why's that?

0:25:380:25:42

You could still be implicated in supplying unlawful drugs.

0:25:420:25:45

-How?

-Offences under the Misuse Of Drugs Act, 1971.

0:25:450:25:49

That bit that says you're liable for prosecution,

0:25:490:25:52

if you do anything whatsoever to assist or facilitate a drug deal taking place.

0:25:520:25:56

Oh, have they not taught you that one yet?

0:25:570:26:00

Anyway, there's no reason for anyone to suspect anything, is there?

0:26:000:26:05

-Is there?

-No. Course not.

0:26:050:26:10

Dad!

0:26:220:26:23

Oh. It's good to see you.

0:26:230:26:26

-Eh, been a good boy?

-Yeah.

-Good.

0:26:260:26:30

If we do go ahead with this and it doesn't work, there's no hope.

0:26:480:26:52

Have you got a patient with only half a brain?

0:26:520:26:54

It's possible, I suppose.

0:26:540:26:56

Theme, you've got to have a theme.

0:26:560:26:58

-Doctors and nurses?

-Not very imaginative.

0:26:580:27:01

A neighbour of mine left his 10-year-old son alone overnight.

0:27:010:27:06

It has put me in a predicament that I would rather not be in.

0:27:060:27:10

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

0:27:100:27:13

E-mail [email protected]

0:27:130:27:16

Jack thinks he has an ingenious plan to help his friend's grandmother, until Rob gives him a reality check. Mrs Tembe has an unexpected day off, during which she and Cameron bond over a volcano!


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