The Pale Cast of Thought Doctors

Is Karen not here yet?

-She's running late, but I've got your notes.

-Any for me?

-Ready and waiting.

-Thank you, Lauren.

You're getting the hang of the system already.

What? Is there something in my teeth?

You're smiling.

Dr Cassidy, wouldn't you say that Dr Carmichael here is positively glowing?

Now you mention it...

No, glowing does her a disservice - radiant.

"When I gaze on thee

"I seem as in a trance sublime and strange."

Shelley.

You'll make me blush.

It would merely add to your lustre.

-Hey.

-Yeah, hi.

I'll catch you up.

-Training?

-Yeah, yeah. You?

-Heading to Uni.

-Look, um, you've still got some stuff in my room.

I thought I could come round this evening, pick it up. That OK?

What about this morning?

Oh.

It's just, my dad's coming.

I understand, I don't want to get in the way.

I've got to get out of the room. Another renter's moving in on Sunday.

-You're really going through with it - joining up?

-Yeah, of course.

-I've signed the papers. Everything. I start officer training in a couple of weeks.

-Right.

No-one understands any of this, you know, least of all me.

Look, I better go.

Yeah, well... I guess I'll see you.

Seriously, Mum, what is this, Bring Your Emo To Work Day?

I'm not having you lazing around in bed. No chance.

I'm not getting in anyone's way.

It's not about getting in anyone's way,

it's about being part of the human race.

Yeah, but I'm not.

I'm a crim, Dad treats me like a leper,

and my A-level results are a disaster waiting to happen.

If you're feeling down, don't wallow in it, do something.

Get out, Imogen.

What do you want from me?!

You'll see.

If it makes you drowsy, we can try another type of antihistamine.

Thanks.

OK.

Well, that's it, you can go.

Class dismissed.

There's something else.

Oh?

It's my boyfriend... Ex-boyfriend.

OK.

He's depressed.

What makes you say that?

He threw away this unbelievable academic career to join the army.

-It's crazy.

-Maybe he's changed his mind. It happens.

Not when you're that talented,

not when you've spent years working towards a goal,

getting a dream teaching job.

And then one day, suddenly just go and turn it down,

destroy everything you've worked so hard for. It doesn't make sense.

-If you're worried about him, tell him to book an appointment.

-Can't you do a house call?

I can't just turn up on his doorstep, he has to come to see me.

He doesn't think there's anything wrong with him, that's the point.

Also...

we don't speak so much since we broke up.

My hands are tied. I'm sorry.

But you know him.

-Adam Dukes. He comes in here for his asthma.

-Whether I know him or not makes no difference.

It sounds to me like he's making big changes in his life, there's nothing wrong with that.

And I'm one of them?

What do you mean?

I'm one of his big changes.

He broke up with me.

That might explain how you're viewing his decisions.

You're seeing them subjectively.

-You mean I'm the one with the problem?

-I didn't say that.

-No, but you implied it.

I'm not too late, am I?

On time as always.

When did you get back?

Last night. It's good to be home.

Yeah, you can't imagine.

Was it worse this time?

It's another world out there.

Just last week, I was in an AFV driving through a mountain pass,

and we were dodging insurgent fire on either side. Anyway...

Anyway, it's great to see you at your training.

They're going to make a soldier of you yet.

For the last six weeks it's all I've been up to.

Yeah. What about the PhD?

-Jacked it in.

-I thought you might finish it.

-Anyway, it's not going to do you any good in the army, is it?

-That's what I thought.

Better things to focus on.

-I was doing laps round the park before you arrived.

-How many?

-Four.

-So far. I'll do another eight, obviously.

-That's more like it.

-I'm going to grab breakfast. I'll see you at your place.

-You are staying, right?

I'm going to share a little secret with you.

I'm staying with your mum.

In the spare bedroom, of course, but that's something, eh?

You think you two might be able to patch things up?

I'm hopeful.

Time will tell.

Go on, off you go.

Yeah.

I'm so glad you're back.

So am I.

-KNOCK AT DOOR

-Yeah?

-Can I have a quick word?

-Sure.

I've got a proposal.

-Mm-hmm?

-Immie needs a summer job.

The Mill needs some extra admin help over the summer.

Ta-dah.

You mean...

The solution to your problem is standing right here.

Immie, you were great when you were here on work experience,

but to take her on for any longer than that...

Oh, she's a quick learner, AND you've had other admin experience elsewhere.

She worked at the head office of G Newland & Son.

Head office? It was my dad's mate.

He runs a scrapyard business from his Portakabin.

The point is that we run a medical practice,

and therefore a mistake, say, in filing something...badly,

would have much worse consequences for us than it would for Mr Newland.

Oh, she knows that, obviously.

And the information that we have on file is highly confidential.

-Her dad's a copper, she knows to keep shtoom.

-Also...

personal presentation

is very important for creating a professional atmosphere.

Oh, you haven't seen her when she makes an effort to spruce up.

Mum, give it up.

I don't look right, I don't have the relevant work experience,

and to cap it all, I've got a police record.

-But apart from that, Julia thinks it's a fantastic fit.

-I'll let you get on.

If you were trying to win a prize for doing yourself out of a job,

-you just won the gold medal.

-I only said what Julia was thinking.

The fact is, I never stood a chance of getting a job here, and I never asked for one.

Well, let's start looking somewhere else, then.

Read those - back pages, not the gossip columns, Jobs.

Have you heard of the internet?

I want to keep an eye on what you're doing.

No boss is interested in someone like me.

Well, some people believe in second chances, even after what you've done.

Coffee, anyone?

-No, thanks.

-No, thank you.

I'm Imogen.

I'm Lauren, the new receptionist. I just started.

-She's my daughter.

-Oh, great.

-Aren't we...?

-Oh, the database? Shall we?

-Yeah.

-You made good time.

-Thanks.

I've been working on my endurance.

You're the same build as your granddad.

He ran the mile for his county, he did.

Might've gone into the Olympics if it hadn't been for the war.

-He was the third generation in the Forces. You'll be the fifth - well, hopefully.

-Definitely.

If they discover you have asthma, you could fail the physical.

-That's Jess'.

-But you have had asthma.

Yeah. Grew out of it.

-You can't have asthma on a mission.

-Dad...

-I once had to hold my breath for three minutes underwater.

My lungs nearly burst.

-I could do that.

-Don't be so sure.

-I could. I'll prove it to you.

All right, you're on. I'll come back in a couple of hours,

-and see how you're doing.

-Where are you going?

-I've got a lunch date with your mum.

-Oh?

-Yeah, things are looking up.

Well, good luck...I guess.

-I would kill for her complexion right now.

-Oh, tell me about it!

Especially since I've been breaking out at the moment.

I had to slap on an extra inch of make-up this morning.

It's a detox diet. No flour, sugar, caffeine or alcohol,

-I'm sure of it.

-No alcohol? Zara?

She was hungover just last Friday.

No, she's been to that new spa on King's Parade.

No facial makes your skin glow like that.

You've not tried the right places, obviously.

Didn't expect to see you so soon.

What do you mean?

-What are you here for?

-A new refill.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Let's have a look, shall we?

I see you got through the last one a lot quicker than normal.

-Doing a lot of exercise.

-Well, just don't overdo it.

If you're still getting symptoms, we may have to think about a preventer inhaler.

Yeah, I know, but everything's fine.

Just wanted to remind you of the options.

Here we go.

So what did you think I was here for?

What?

-You were expecting me.

-Was I?

Has Jess been speaking to you?

She has, hasn't she?

She told you I was depressed.

Yeah. Maybe it's her that's got the problem. May I?

Course.

-Ah.

-Ah! You've got to clear this up.

-What?

-You've had a facial.

-You're on a detox diet.

-Um, well...

-You've been to that new spa on King's Parade?

You're avoiding flour, sugar and caffeine.

-It's on your way to work. Come on, spill!

-I'm really sorry.

-I have to get back to my room.

-What's the secret?!

I'm really busy, tons of work.

-Come on, you don't need to be coy about it!

-Got to go.

Oh! Bit selfish.

It's that pomegranate and papaya facial everyone's talking about.

-Definitely.

-Nope.

You went to speak to him, didn't you?

Who?

Dr Tyler.

Yes. Yes, I did.

I wanted to help you, because you weren't going to help yourself.

Going into the army doesn't mean I'm having a breakdown.

You sure?

I haven't had time to read all of it,

but enough to know how good this is.

-How dare you nick my stuff?!

-You told me you never finished it.

-I finished it, so what?

-People who don't care don't complete PhDs.

This is 100,000 words of caring an awful lot.

-Very clever, now leave.

-Adam... I...

No! I'm not interested.

We've got to talk about this.

Just go.

Please.

You're in total denial.

Can't you see that?

KNOCK AT DOOR

I told you to get out!

Adam?

Dad?

Oh, God, I didn't know it was you.

Come in.

So things between you are a little bit bumpy then?

-You spoke to her?

-No, no, no.

I... No, she didn't see me.

She was in her car, looked a bit upset.

-Things have been rough recently.

-Yeah, well, truth be told,

I've always found the female of the species a little baffling myself.

But pleased to say I had a good lunch date with your mum,

and we're getting along better than ever.

-Give her a call. You haven't spoken to her in over a week.

-Yeah, I will.

Listen, Dad, I did three minutes underwater.

You did? That's good, that's good.

What about heights? Are you any better with them?

No, I thought not.

Do you remember that place...

Michaelson's Wood, it was an adventure park?

You must have been about 12 and, well...

you couldn't go down that zip line.

You just kind of froze.

Yeah.

Are you ready to give it another try?

Nothing like a well-earned rest and a spot of the amber nectar

-and I'm not talking about Australian lager.

-I know you better than that.

Bliss in a cup.

-What do you think you're doing?

-Facebooking.

I've read all of the papers and there's nothing.

They're all full-time, or tedious, or both.

-How do you ever expect to land a job with an attitude like that?

-I won't need a 9-5 anyway.

-You're planning to win the lottery?

-No, I'm going to be an artist.

-Oh...

Great, so you think I won't make it? Thanks, that's just what I need(!)

No, I didn't mean that. I meant it takes time

-and how are you going to support yourself?

-I'll find a sugar daddy.

I would have thought you'd have had more self-respect than that.

-All right, I'll marry him. Better?

-Not really.

All artists have patrons and my police record will make me more interesting.

-A police record makes you more interesting?

-Ever heard of Caravaggio?

-A type of pasta?

-He was an artistic genius and he broke all the rules.

What did he get nicked for?

Uh...murder, actually.

Oh, great(!)

Just what me and your dad need.

Adam?

Oh, God...

-HE PANTS

-Dad?!

Dad!

-I'm up here.

-Dad!

Come on, take a deep breath, get on with it, Adam.

-Where are you?

-The top - look.

Come on, get a move on!

I thought I'd lost you.

Remember, you've got a point to prove.

Being scared of heights won't cut it in the army.

I can do it this time.

I know I can.

-Excuse me, you can't...

-Do you mind?

-Look at this.

-I'm having my lunch.

-It'll have to wait.

Here.

-Right, this could be serious.

-Please, help me find him.

Sorry to drag you away from the Mill like that,

but I had to come over here anyway.

Don't mind at all, the sooner I learn the ropes the better.

Right, lets get into Mrs Tembe's folder.

Password...

Oh... I've left her handover list at the Mill.

-I think it's Gaborone.

-What?

Capital of Botswana - it's where she's from.

-COMPUTER BEEPS

-No.

-Two Bs maybe?

-Bs...

Oh, hello.

I didn't know you were here.

Thought I'd surprise you.

Oh, Julia, look, something's come up. I've got to go out,

-but I'll be back ASAP, OK?

-Kevin...

Freya can cover me.

-I promise you, we will get there in a minute.

-PHONE RINGS

-Oh, excuse me. Hello?

-'Karen and Imogen are arguing.'

It could get a lot worse. Help is needed. Listen.

KAREN: ..You'll still be living at home when you're 60!

-That's if you're not in... IMOGEN:

-If I'm not what? In prison?!

All right, I'm heading back. Bye.

So much for showing you round the Campus.

-What's happened?

-Karen and Imogen are having a right royal ding-dong.

Oh, no. Is it about Imogen's job hunt?

I might as well tell you, you'll find out sooner or later anyway.

-Imogen has recently had a bit of a problem with the police.

-Police?

Yeah, it was shoplifting.

Anyway, when Karen asked me if I could find Imogen some work for the summer,

I had to say no, because I felt uncomfortable.

-Doesn't everyone deserve a second chance?

-Yes, they do, in theory...

-Ah, Mandy, I'm afraid we've got to pop back, sorry.

-No problem.

-I've got an idea.

-Tell me on the way.

Adam?

Adam!

You never forget, eh? Good.

Adam?

Why are you here?

-We've read the letter, mate.

-What letter?

The one from your dad's regiment.

-He's not coming back.

-Adam, we're so sorry.

What are you talking about? I spent the day with him.

-Adam!

-Don't come near me.

-I've got to do this.

-Do what?

-Go down the zip line.

-What?! There isn't one!

I have to do this. I have to prove it to him.

-Adam, look, there's no zip wire!

-I'm not afraid of heights any more,

-I'll prove it.

-You don't have to prove anything!

-I can't disappoint my dad.

-Sometimes you have to!

-No.

-Hey! Let go of me! I have to do this!

-No, you don't!

-I'm going to do it, I have to!

-Look! LOOK!

-What?

There's no zip wire, look.

-What?!

-There's no zip wire!

Wha...? But there was...

A minute ago there was...

-HE GASPS FOR BREATH

-Dad? Dad!

-Where's your inhaler?

Breathe.

Dad?

Who's going to pay your rent - Certainly not your dad.

-I will find a way.

-I'm not bowled over with your suggestions so far.

People will kill to buy my work, just you watch!

OK, you two, calm down.

Now look what you've done.

-You've got Julia to schlep all the way over from Campus.

-Me?!

If you hadn't got on my case, this argument would never have happened!

All right, please!

Look, I am sorry that I wasn't able to offer Imogen a job,

-but that's no excuse to make such a scene.

-See?

Either of you.

However, I've changed my mind.

What do you mean?

I'm prepared to offer you a job.

Really?

Temporarily - trial basis.

-Wicked.

-I don't wish to appear ungrateful,

-but you don't have to give her a job just to stop us bickering.

-I didn't. It was Lauren's idea.

-Do you want to explain?

-I was going through Mrs Tembe's summer admin projects

and there's a really big one coming up, a summation project for the recent Government changes.

-It's a real beast.

-So we could do with the extra help. I could take Imogen under my wing

-and she could shadow me.

-You're prepared to do that?

-Of course.

-Oh, you're a saint.

-Unless you want to work with her?

BOTH: No!

Fine. Win-win situation then.

I'm never going to make it as a soldier.

But is that what you really want? I've told you,

you don't have to prove yourself to him.

You're an academic, Adam, not a soldier.

-I can't tell

-him

-that.

You're going to have to.

And it'll take a lot more guts than going down a zip line.

What is it?

He's here.

Dad.

I didn't do it.

Right.

I'm sorry.

-Maybe it's a sign.

-Of what?

That this isn't right for me, this whole army thing.

I only did it for you, because I know how badly you wanted it.

But I'm not like you and I never will be.

What are you going to do instead?

I... I could teach.

I could write books even. I can be brave with words.

Daring, like you.

I could take on a whole army of ideas and theories

and blow them up with a salvo of words.

I could do that. If I keep working hard, I could do that one day.

-Promise me one thing.

-Anything.

That you'll go for it, all guns blazing.

Will you do that for me?

Yes, I promise.

I have to go now.

Don't worry, I'll looking out for you.

Always.

Dad?

He's not coming back, is he?

No. But, um, he'll be all right.

I'm going to get you some help, OK?

HE SOBS

Come on, let's get you back.

Marry me.

While the cat's away, the mice will play.

-Eh?

-Sorry?

What happened to you? You must've gained five stone.

Same old Zara, straight to the point.

Kiss me.

Well, in that case...

..have you still got your room key?

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