A Decent Plumber Doctors

Wow, what have you done?!

Eh?

Your hair!

What's it got to do with you?

When did you get it done?

Maggie snuck me into her salon on Saturday.

It looks really nice.

It's gone a bit flat.

Like Imogen.

A new hairdo can really pep you up.

I wouldn't know about that.

Listen, about Al the other day.

He's self-seeking. I just thought he was being a mate.

Al is my mate.

She has been looking at this.

Ah.

What have you been looking at?

Photographs, messages. The doctors keep nagging me.

It has been very helpful - helping with remembering.

It's incredible, because they've got films, with me in them.

-D'you want to see one?

-Yes.

LAUGHTER AND VOICES

That's me.

Did you film it?

Yeah. You on Imogen's bike.

"Karen Hollins does Cirque du Soleil."

You what?

"Circus of the Sun." You absolutely loved it.

It is very spectacular. Very expensive tickets.

We'd never heard of it.

It was the kids - they made us go for our anniversary.

National Indoor Arena. Remember?

Play it again.

So, Dr Tyler, water pressure still good?

I praise your name every time I take a shower.

I'm having a jacuzzi.

-What?

-Still high.

But I couldn't be less stressed.

I'm anything but stressed - I'm bored to death.

Did you bring a sample?

You were supposed to remind me to bring a sample!

See what I have to put up with, Dr Tyler?

Down the corridor.

Here's a thought - while I'm off piddling,

why don't you talk to Dr Tyler

about what you promised you'd talk to Dr Tyler about?

Ladies?

I'll show you.

She wants me to have another brain scan.

Why?

Because I think I will always be her patient. But nothing's changed.

-No more blackouts.

-That's good.

But no new memories are coming back either.

We always knew that would be a possibility.

I feel as if I'm letting Lauren down.

I don't want to - she's my life.

-I can see that. I can refer you, if you like.

-Please.

She wants me to share my history and my heritage with her

and our baby - but how could I?

I wouldn't need a map to walk round Krakow,

but nothing there would mean a thing to me.

Tomasz, Lauren knows that. She's a neuro nurse.

Now I have other worries.

Like what?

I have an old customer.

I have to go to court.

He has come from Poland.

He claims I owe him money. I tried to pay what I owe - of course -

but he found out about my accident, I think,

and he thinks I have money from the pay-out.

I can't remember.

You have a medical statement saying that.

But it's still not simple.

The most important thing is not to worry Lauren, isn't it?

Yes. The less stress the better.

No, Jack, I didn't say "breakthrough".

No, son, listen to me - what I said was, it's the best thing

that's happened to your mum since... Well, since it happened.

OK, this is where we're at.

-No protein in your urine...

-Told you.

But your blood pressure's still giving me cause for concern.

So what do we do?

You do exactly what you've been doing - pamper her, look after her.

And you - let him. Home, relax, feet up.

Please, Lauren, listen.

No exertion, no stress.

Yes, boss. Bosses.

Has he told you about how stressed he is?

Because nothing's coming back - he's still Mr Forgets Everything.

Well, today, we're focusing on you and the baby.

Tomasz and I have got everything else under control.

How are you doing?

-Where's Mrs Tembe?

-She's phoning The Mill.

It's good that you're looking at photos and stuff.

Doctor's orders.

You were happy, you know.

Right.

The doctors have said that maybe I should go and see the house.

Right. Well, I'd be more than happy to take you. When?

Are Jack and Imogen there?

No, they've gone back.

If I do go, I want Mrs Tembe to come.

-If you want.

-I do.

But you do want me to be there too?

I haven't said I'm going yet.

But I've got nothing else to do, so maybe I could take a shufty.

Give me a couple of hours while I have a quick whiz around.

-Don't bother on my account.

-No, I want to.

I'm just going to go and tell Mrs Tembe.

What do you think you're doing? Get out of my garden!

Get out of my garden. I'm calling the police.

SHE SPEAKS POLISH

-Coo-ee!

-Who's she?

One of your neighbours. Your neighbours like you.

Recognise anything?

Hi, Jakub. Make yourself at home.

Sorry, but, hey, I had an awful memory when we met...

In neurology.

..so you can't get cross about it now.

FYI, I didn't love you then - and also FYI, I'm not cross, I'm worried.

But Dr Tyler is not, so you mustn't be.

So - you're having a relaxing day?

-Almost.

-Except for?

Except for the mad woman at the bottom of the garden.

-What?

-It's all right. I told her to bog off.

-What? You should have called me.

-Hello, have we met?

I'm not putting up with some lunatic invading my garden.

Anyway, she left - no bother.

Maybe she sells something?

Nah. Just a fruitcake.

Cakes?

No - she was a fruitcake. It means you're mad.

So, what did she say?

Nothing I could understand.

OK, I have to go now - I've got such a day today.

Big business - the wheels of industry.

"Twoja wina... Glupia..." something or other.

What?

That's what she said.

You stay inside - you don't need fruitcakes.

OK.

Your fault, stupid - is Polish.

Oh, for goodness' sake.

This is the kitchen.

Your husband is an excellent cook.

You quite like it when I do you posh food.

You don't like fish much, and you hate offal.

Immie did talk you into chickpeas.

I'm not really bothered about food. I'm going back on the F-plan.

What about this cup? You got it from the internet.

The first one that arrived said "Bob", so you sent it back.

You had this almighty row about postage and packaging.

Can you remember?

Tell you what - why don't you go for a quick shufty?

Try not to push, Sergeant Hollins. Baby steps.

No, I won't. I was just hoping for...

..a tiny breakthrough.

Who is Marzena Dulski?

Come and sit down.

You should drink some tea.

Don't you do that! Don't you fuss me. No tea.

Who is Marzena Dulski? Your mother?

Your sister?!

Please, Lauren, I don't want you to get upset.

Too late for that.

-I have been doing my best to protect you.

-Who from?

Marzena was my wife.

My wife, but I can't remember her.

These all hers? Imogen's?

She is very talented.

I can't even draw a square.

Is that Jack?

-Oh, I kissed him!

-You did not know it was him.

He said he was looking for his mum. Oh...

In time, it will all be well.

Hey.

I thought you both might be hungry,

so I've made us all one of your favourites.

-What?

-Omelettes.

I thought I was doing the right thing.

The doctor said not to stress you.

You don't remember her?

No. She wants money, that's all.

And then I thought, because of the baby

and the blood pressure...

I told Dr Tyler.

That you don't remember anything about her?

So.

Now I know, I'll be all right.

You'll go to court, you'll pay her off, that will be that,

and we'll get on with our lives.

I'm so sorry.

It's not your fault.

Come in.

I thought you were avoiding me.

Little bit - sorry. It's just...

-I know. Listen...

-You're right about Aran.

I know I am.

So that's why this...us...

It's OK.

Really? That easily?

Well, yeah.

How very civilised.

That's me.

So, you and Aran...?

Every time I stop whatever it is I'm doing - bang!

Aran. Mashed.

You know what you feel, so fix it.

How?

Too soon?

Yup!

SHE SPEAKS POLISH

I have things to say to you.

I know who you are. Go away.

You think he cares?

I'm calling the police.

Tomasz - he should pay.

Go away.

I know what we should do.

We should have a coffee in the conservatory.

That is a nice idea.

Can't believe I didn't think of this before.

You always dreamed of having a conservatory.

When we moved in here, that was your favourite place.

It's brick built - it's wood, it's not UVPC.

You absolutely love it.

It is a good place to sit and have a nice chat.

Yeah, what do you think, Karen?

You really want to know what I think?

Really?

OK.

Come on, then, I'll tell you what I think.

Go away!

What's up?

Stress - it's just a stress-headache.

You've got puffy ankles. Why didn't you call me?

She's horrible. She's mad.

Who?

And she hates me - hates our baby.

Who does?

I was so scared. I didn't show her, though.

Lauren, you need to calm down. Breathe for me, breathe.

She could do anything - she broke into the garden,

she came back to threaten me. What about Tomasz...

What if she's a lunatic with a knife?

OK. Sit down.

He doesn't even remember being married - you know that.

-Who doesn't?

-That's why he needed the suit.

He thinks he can just sort it all out in court.

What if she is a mad woman? He won't even recognise her.

Hi, this is Dr Tyler from the Mill Health Centre.

I've got to get to Tomasz...

I've got a patient with potential pre-eclampsia.

I'll call you back.

This is ridiculous. Come back into the house.

His phone's off - anything could be happening.

Lauren, you need to think about you now and the baby.

-This is dangerous.

-I'll phone a cab.

-You're putting yourself at risk.

-I have to go.

And the baby!

I've got to.

Wait there. I'll take you.

-Thank you.

-Then we go to St Phil's.

And back to the glory that is the conservatory.

After the sitting room - sorry, "the lounge". Please(!)

Those things you sit on? Vile. Carpet? Vile.

This? Viler. And what's with all the manky flowers everywhere?

-You like flowers.

-I don't!

I try and get you them whenever I can.

Well, don't. Did I say I like them? Cos I don't. Vile.

They flop and die and the water goes all green and stinking.

Makes you want to throw up.

We could always get rid of the flowers.

Don't bother. The whole place makes me want to throw up.

-Karen...

-I hate it!

It's not possible, is it?

You know how little we understand about memory.

He'll have been sending her money before the accident -

that's what they do when they come over here.

Try and stay calm.

Even if he's not lying, and he doesn't know who she is,

there'll be a paper trail - her name, his money into her account.

I need to talk to her - I want to tell her I'm sorry.

Marzena... Please don't!

-Say hello.

-Hello.

-Mateusz.

Tomasz's son.

Hello.

Tomasz? Are you going to tell me you don't recognise your own son?

No, please - I didn't plan it...

First, I didn't tell you - that was one mistake -

I thought it was nothing,

but it was a huge mistake, because then I loved you.

I convinced myself you wouldn't need me - you didn't miss me.

I heard myself telling so many lies all the time.

But I didn't mean to hurt you. I love you.

OK, that's it. In!

Help her.

Please, listen to me.

I'm sorry. I want to hear it.

I don't care if you think I'm being selfish.

All I ask is that you give it time.

Why?

In case I start perving over some conservatory because it's not U-P...

whatever?

-It's not about things.

-It is!

It's about these things, because they're so dull.

And you want me to remember being dull.

Worse - you want me to want to be dull again!

No, I don't.

Perhaps a breath of fresh air?

You wanted to come home.

You don't get it, do you? You want me to spell it out?

Yeah, I think you should.

I am not dull - I wasn't supposed to be dull.

We were happy.

Was I? Was I happy?

See, I'm thinking, right,

that I can't remember you or any of this

because I wanted to forget it.

Let's leave this conversation for now.

I should be in London.

I've got a pen friend in London - she eats aubergines and smokes dope.

She met Alison Moyet in a pub.

If I got her number, I could give her a call -

and she'd wet herself laughing.

You've had a very stressful day...

Two kids and a sodding conservatory? Is that it?

Ding, ding, ding, jackpot? I can't have been happy here!

OK, so, I don't know how much you know.

I dated Jimmi, I slept with Jimmi, I ended it - well, he ended it too,

because Jimmi thinks I'm still in love with Aran - you remember Aran?

I mean, we have a rapport, but...

Aran's got this pretty, perfectly formed, pretty, pretty girlie now.

Has he?

-Who is everything everybody wants for Aran.

-Everybody except you?

What right have I got to be concerned about him

getting married anyway?

I was the one who left him standing at the altar -

you know that bit, right? I did, and then I did it again.

Well, no - not quite,

not the second time, but anyway...

I've got no right, no right at all.

It's too late for me and Aran.

I completely burnt my bridges there. Twice.

If I was him, I wouldn't touch me with a barge pole.

Fine. Don't bother then.

It's the truth.

I listened. It's done.

-Get out of the way.

-But I'm...

-That's the last time you touch me.

But I told you everything.

You did. Now get out of the way.

You heard her.

Please, Lauren, I'm hiding nothing now.

Please!

Wait. I listened because I wanted to know.

And now I do.

You stopped supporting your own son. You abandoned your wife and child.

Do you think I'm going to give you the chance to do that to us?

-Forget it.

-Move.

There's no towel.

Sorry, I'll get you one.

Don't bother - they'll dry.

The old Karen would have had a fit about that.

Yeah, well, the new Karen couldn't give a toss.

Why don't we have a shufty round the garden?

Nah. I've seen everything I need to, thanks.

-Good.

-I don't think you'll be saying that

when I've told you what I've decided.

Perhaps this is private. I will wait outside.

It's not private. It's just what it is.

So, the past 30 years?

-Wasted.

-No.

The next 30, before I snuff it,

have got to count double. I can't be doing with all this!

You are just tired.

So, you're going to think I'm a cow, but actually I'm being kind.

Cruel to be kind.

I don't want to be married, that's what I've decided.

What?!

See, that way, you're not lumbered with me.

I'm not lumbered with you.

You can have this place and I could get a little flat, or a room,

London.

It is too soon to make such a big decision.

Tell that to somebody who hasn't wasted three decades being bored.

-You weren't bored!

-Whatever. It is what it is.

Do not push away the people who are trying to help you.

I'm not. I'm not pushing you away.

When I was in the bog, I called a taxi.

Will you come back to the hospital with me?

-I don't want to be on my own.

-I'll take you.

No. I'll be all right.

I am so sorry.

Teenage girls.

What's going on?

We were just saying how nice it is having you around,

weren't we, sweetie?

Her mother's got this sleazy boyfriend hanging around,

dodgy and too concerned by half.

Did she say anything to you?

I'm sorry?

She's having a hard time having Bruno move in.

If I leave the house, I'll die.

Rose?! WOMAN SCREAMS

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