Foxtrot Tango Doctors


Foxtrot Tango

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MUSIC: "Unchained Melody" by The Righteous Brothers

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# Oh, my love

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# My darling... #

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Not a word to anyone?

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Scouts' honour.

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# A long, lonely time

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# And time... #

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-Got any soap?

-Huh?

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Oh, my... Yeah...

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There.

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Oh, lovely.

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I thought I might grab a bowl of this to take upstairs.

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Actually, you might need that?

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I'm sure I can find you a bowl somewhere...

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Eh, cereal with three-day-old beans...

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-No, thanks! Gross!

-It's not usually this bad.

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Oh, well, so, secretly, you're hygienic!

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-Like I say...

-Thanks...

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Yeah, good job. Thanks, man. Thanks.

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Let's do it.

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I managed to squeeze everyone in.

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Cinderella, Buttons, the Uglies.

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Look at Zara!

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Makes me glad I'm just the stage manager.

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"Just" stage manager?

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There's no just about it, yours is a pivotal role!

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Costume, props, scenery...

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Talking of which, we need to have a chat later.

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Yes, we can, but then, please, can I start to get on with it?

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-Of course, how about lunch? I'm buying.

-Ooh.

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-My room, two o'clock, sandwiches?

-Oh(!)

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Erm, it's normal to have the director's name on the poster.

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And the writer.

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Silly old custom, I'll...

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leave it up to you.

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Oh, you've tidied up! Bless!

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Don't do it for me.

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I wasn't really...

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Seriously, makes a nice change.

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From being followed around with a dustpan and brush

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and a massive can of air-freshener.

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Tembe's not that bad, is she?

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Give me a student dive any day!

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I reckon I'd have made a good student.

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Maybe not the studying bit, but all the rest.

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-What do you reckon?

-Huh?

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Yeah, you'd have made a great student.

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No, the colour.

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I don't know about this.

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Not now.

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Not now we're here.

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What if she...?

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-I mean, what if...?

-What if it goes great?

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We should go.

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You're not turning back now.

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What was that promise?

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-After the APC went up, the promise to yourself.

-I know.

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Well, go on, then.

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-TV:

-The over-crowding crisis in our...

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Oh, why's everything so complicated?

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Why can't you just get up and turn it over?

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When you've got 900 channels to flick through,

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you'd be up and down the sofa, like a...

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Like a tart's knickers?

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Yeah, like a tart's knickers.

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It is interesting, because you can use your phone and computer fine.

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-But when it comes to the remote...

-Oh, no idea.

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Selective memory.

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Oh, well, it's probably just shot.

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-I am 100 years old, after all.

-Hm.

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We could always test it.

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I could teach you some memorising techniques! Might be fun!

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Hmm!

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She's there.

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Well, that's a good start. Go on.

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Remember what we said all along?

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Focus on the dream.

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-Walk towards it, one step at a time.

-I know.

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Well, go on. Steps.

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Dance steps.

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Just go and say hello.

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She's going to be gobsmacked.

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What, that you're walking so well?

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To see me!

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What, she's not expecting you?

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Course not!

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What, you didn't tell her you were coming?

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That's the dream - the surprise!

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The look on her face when I walk in.

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Frank! Hello, stranger!

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What are you doing here?

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I just wondered if you fancied a dance?

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Of course I would!

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OK, you can go. Sorry, guys.

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MUSIC: "At Last" by Etta James

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August, September, October, November, December.

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The mnemonic device is a way of associating an object

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you know really well with a thing that you're trying to remember.

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So let's say you have to memorise the playing cards

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king, queen, Jack.

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What do you associate with king?

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-Elvis.

-Thank you very much. Queen?

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-# Mama, I just killed a man... #

-Bohemian Rhapsody. Great.

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Jack.

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Er... I dunno...

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Jack Rabbit.

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OK. Now what if you had to remember them

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-in the order of Jack, queen, king? Hmm?

-I...

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You say Jack Rabbit, Mama, I just killed a man, Elvis.

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-Weird?

-Yeah, a bit.

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Wouldn't it be a easier just to remember king, Jack, queen?

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Yeah, but the order you were given was Jack, queen, king.

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-Ah...

-I think we're missing the point.

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See, ultimately, I'm talking about visualisation.

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Do you need to take a break?

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Karen?

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Wow! Wow! Who...? Who's this?

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Oh, just an old friend.

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Come on.

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-You learning your lines?

-Trying to.

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Ever thought about using mnemonics?

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Cheeky.

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-Do you want me to test you?

-Go on, then.

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I have to say, it's a recurring nightmare of mine.

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I'm stood up in front of a group of people,

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haven't got a clue what I'm supposed to be saying.

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I wonder where that comes from.

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-Did you do school plays or something?

-Just one. Had to say,

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"Hark, three kings approach, riding upon donkeys."

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See? Still got it.

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OK. I am Cinderella. You are Buttons.

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"Oh, Buttons, tall, dark, handsome is he."

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Oh. Thank you very much.

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"Prince Charming's got everything except..."

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Except any chest hair, cos he's clearly played by a woman.

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It doesn't say that.

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Keep going.

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"..except for me."

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"You don't want the prince, with his...

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"Cute little nose and sparkling eyes."

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Sparkling? It's just cos he's drunk. Who wants a cute little nose?

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You want Cyrano de Bergerac.

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You know what they say, the bigger the nose,

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the bigger the...handkerchief!

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-You can't keep making it up.

-I can't help myself.

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OK.

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"You don't want the prince, with his..."

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"Cute little nose and sparkling eyes."

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"..for it is closer to home that your true love lies."

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"Pause for laughter."

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Pause for tumbleweed.

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Amway, come on, do it properly or else you'll never get it right.

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Go from...

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"You don't want the prince, with his..."

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Can I just ask one quick question?

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How come you've learnt my lines quicker than I have?

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That's true.

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Pause for laughter.

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Pause for a cup of tea while I make a note of this.

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Third prize.

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We couldn't believe it.

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Only been dancing two months.

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I started cos I saw Kelly go in the hall and I thought, "Whoa!"

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So, I walked in right behind her.

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Next thing, the instructor's going, "Take your partners,"

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so I went straight up to Kelly.

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You must have the feet for it.

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I followed her, to be honest. I thought, "Don't blow it.

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"Don't make her look stupid."

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And I did OK.

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I found something out that day.

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You can do anything if you want it bad enough.

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My friends ripped it out of me.

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Started calling me Foxtrot Tango cos of my initials.

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But it was never about dancing. It was always about Kelly.

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Same with all this...

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Getting back on my feet.

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Well, it's been a long enough road, that's for sure.

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But it's not over yet.

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And now the reason for doing it's gone.

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You can't think like that.

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In fact, a suggestion...

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Put the trophy away. Keep it for what it is - it's a good memory.

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But there'll be plenty more.

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PHONE RINGS

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You can do this on your own. I'm serious.

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What was it you just said? "If you want it bad enough"?

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Bellamy.

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Yes.

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20 minutes. Bye.

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I've got to get back to work.

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I'll see you very soon.

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You'll be fine, twinkle toes.

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Ham and cheese sandwiches, essential for any pantomime, wouldn't you say?

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So..

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So, I would like to get a couple of things nailed down, Heston,

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make sure we're on the same song sheet.

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-Can we talk about scenery?

-Absolutely.

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So, obviously we want to keep things simple. You know those...

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Those folding partition things that you get in offices?

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All we need is, like, three of them.

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We can paint on bricks...

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and windows, trees,

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design something general onto lining paper, you know,

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make it look quite fun.

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Stick it on both sides, so we can turn it round.

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And then the clever bit, I thought...

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Actually, I think we can afford to be

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a little bit more ambitious than that.

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OK. First night, picture the scene.

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The audience settles, ready to be transported through

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the magic of theatre into a land of dreams.

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The curtain opens, the lights come up

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to reveal three office partitions covered in painted wallpaper.

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Marvellous(!)

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Fine.

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It's not a criticism. I just don't want us to appear amateur.

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-It IS amateur, though.

-That's a bit defeatist, don't you think?

-No!

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Wonder and dreams are all very well,

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but this is medical staff in their spare time

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and it's happening soon.

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-That's if it happens at all.

-What do you mean?

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I mean, we need to be practical, Heston.

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You know, make lists, tick things off and stop getting carried away,

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otherwise it's not going to happen.

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Mandy, yes, of course. Thank you.

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-You need a list of jobs.

-Exactly.

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OK. Let's start with the sub heading for design.

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Scenery. Obtain/manufacture paint, set dressing...

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We can discuss the details later.

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..costume design. Obtain some fabric...

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It's a good job I don't have any nursing to do, isn't it(?)

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I know, but think how worthwhile it'll be

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when the standing ovation lifts the roof.

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And I have another surprise for you.

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You will be on stage too, taking a bow,

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-because I need you to play the part of Dandini.

-What?

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Pam the cleaner was down to do it,

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but it conflicts with her pilates class.

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Don't worry, there are no lines. You'll hardly know you're doing it.

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I knew you'd be pleased.

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Ta-da!

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This is the Wiki site.

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Wiki, coming from the Hawaiian term wiki-wiki, meaning fast.

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The advantage here is the enhanced interactivity.

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-You with me so far?

-No.

-OK

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Why don't you just tell me what it does?

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Basically, your friend Maggie gave me a list of all your friends

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from back in the day and I e-mailed them, telling them that they

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-could put stuff all about you on here.

-Amazing.

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It might help with your memory.

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So much of our memory has to do with context.

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If you read the real life stories, you might start to fill in the gaps.

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-So when can they put things on?

-It's live now.

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Ah. A watched pot...

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Realistically, it'll take a couple of days to get a bite.

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So, how do you tell when people have done something?

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You just hit refresh.

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I need to see her.

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Just get Kelly.

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-Don't talk to me like that.

-Don't stand in my way.

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-She's not in.

-You're lying.

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Why don't you do one...freak?

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You all right?

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Hmm-hmm. Fine. Everything's fine.

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One of those days, eh? Why don't you take five minutes?

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Have a cup of tea. In fact, I might join you.

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-I've been meaning to have a word.

-I've got a patient...

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It's about my costumes. I've got a few ideas.

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PHONE RINGS

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Excuse me.

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Hello.

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What?

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I'm sorry, Howard.

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Come on!

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-Ah! There's one from Jo Brindley!

-You got one.

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"Hey Karen, remember Deakins Field

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"when my brother and his mates went camping?

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"You and me told our mums that we were staying with the other

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"one for the night,

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"and then we went drinking cider until it got light." Oh, yes.

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"And a cow ran over the tent, and Betty grassed us up!"

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Flipping Betty lived next door.

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She could hear our garden gate squeak from a mile away.

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My mum was mad, but we just laughed.

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"My dad was so cross, he cricked his neck and had a week off work."

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Oh, I'd forgotten that! Wow!

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-Don't worry.

-Kelly, sorry.

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I'm Howard Bellamy.

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I saw you at the dance hall earlier.

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We didn't get the chance to be introduced.

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I've been mentoring Frank through rehab.

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I'll make sure he behaves.

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Please, Kelly, I don't want to cause you trouble -

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that's why I left at the hall. But...

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What's going on?

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What's going on? You tell me. You turn up here and hit Mark!

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I shouldn't have done that, but seeing him in my place...

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Sorry?

0:17:530:17:55

Why are you being so harsh?

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OK. What USED to be my place.

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Frank, we've never been in a relationship.

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-You're not taking that away from me.

-There's nothing to take away.

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What are you talking about?

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-I'm not having this, Frank. Anyway, Mark'll be back any minute.

-Kelly!

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Leave me alone!

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No.

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Frank, what's going on?

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Have you got a girlfriend?

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Me? No.

0:18:270:18:30

Every time I dip my toes in Lake Romance, they get bitten off.

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-And after last time...

-What happened?

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I don't know.

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I'm not really built for affairs of the heart.

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Besides, it's probably best just to stay clear.

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Who was she?

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A work colleague.

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Oh, Buttons! You went after Cinderella.

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HE LAUGHS

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Yeah, I suppose I did.

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Has this panto taught you nothing?

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-What? I should go after an ugly sister instead?

-Yeah!

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For the practice.

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You know. I mean, you've got to get back in the saddle.

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Hmm. I think you're right.

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The time has come.

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-Yay! Get a girlfriend!

-No. Do the washing up.

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Oh! Go on, then, and I'll dry.

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DOORBELL RINGS

0:19:240:19:26

I can't apologise enough.

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I know there's something not right here.

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Can I just explain something?

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I'm guessing you haven't heard from Frank for a while, right?

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Yeah.

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-Well, he's been very badly hurt...

-Not by me.

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No. By a Taliban bomb.

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It destroyed his vehicle and killed one of his friends,

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and he's been struggling with his injury.

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Perhaps more from post-traumatic stress.

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He's had to pull himself out of a dark place.

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For the last eight months, he's been on a very slippery slope.

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And he's needed an anchor,

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something strong and definite.

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And rightly or wrongly, that something was how he felt about you.

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I didn't know.

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I'm sorry. I assumed you did,

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otherwise I'd have never have let it get this far.

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But here we are.

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But I'm worried if we...

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I'm worried if we don't sort out this misunderstanding...

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Well, he'll just... He'll be back where he started.

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Oh...!

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-How's your day?

-Oh. Apart from horrendous Cinderella, fine.

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-Right.

-Can't anybody talk about anything else?

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Yeah, I agree. Actually, I do have a question about my costume though.

0:20:540:20:59

All it is, what do I wear on my legs? Cos it's not stockings, is it?

0:21:000:21:03

I wouldn't have thought it would have to be stockings.

0:21:030:21:05

Are you talking costume? Great.

0:21:050:21:08

I was wondering if I could have a word, if you've got ten minutes.

0:21:080:21:11

-Ten?

-I thought I'd save you the bother of designing mine.

0:21:110:21:14

-Well, I wasn't going to. I was just going to go to a charity shop.

-Oh!

0:21:140:21:20

Oh, no. No, Mandy, that will look very am dram.

0:21:220:21:26

We need something striking for the ball.

0:21:260:21:28

I've actually done some sketches.

0:21:280:21:31

Sorry, I haven't drawn since I was at college, but you get the idea.

0:21:310:21:34

Who's going to make that?

0:21:370:21:39

Back to the stockings, just for a second.

0:21:390:21:41

Actually, It's not the stockings that I'm worried about,

0:21:410:21:43

it's the suspenders I'm not really keen on.

0:21:430:21:45

And... I wouldn't have thought tights would be good either,

0:21:450:21:48

so I was thinking trousers. Girls' trousers, obviously.

0:21:480:21:51

-Actually, yes, can I have a word?

-Stitch and bitch.

-I beg your pardon?

0:21:510:21:54

We need to talk boots.

0:21:540:21:56

Your sewing group.

0:21:560:21:57

I would have thought they'd be delighted to help.

0:21:570:22:00

After all, it is for children with cancer.

0:22:000:22:02

Frank.

0:22:090:22:10

Would you like me to stay?

0:22:120:22:13

Let's get this straight, Frank.

0:22:260:22:29

We used to dance together. We were mates.

0:22:290:22:33

You used to write letters to me about what was going on out there.

0:22:330:22:36

-I used to write back.

-With kisses.

0:22:360:22:39

-They're not real, Frank.

-There was one that one time.

0:22:390:22:42

-One kiss.

-On the lips.

0:22:420:22:43

A kiss goodnight. And I'm sorry, Frank, it meant nothing.

0:22:430:22:47

I should have died.

0:22:530:22:54

You can feel it flowing out of you like a river.

0:22:560:22:58

But I thought of me and you dancing...

0:22:590:23:03

And you knew...

0:23:060:23:08

because I wrote it in the letters, didn't I?

0:23:080:23:11

I stopped opening them when you started getting heavy.

0:23:190:23:23

Yeah? Well, why didn't you throw them out, then?

0:23:230:23:25

I'm with Mark.

0:23:250:23:27

We're getting married. You knew I stopped writing back, Frank.

0:23:270:23:30

The army stopped them cos we were stuck out in the middle of nowhere.

0:23:300:23:33

-Frank, why did you never call me?

-When?

0:23:390:23:43

You've been back for months. Why not, Frank?

0:23:430:23:47

You didn't call because you knew it was all in your head.

0:23:530:23:57

I... I needed it to be true.

0:23:590:24:01

I'm sorry.

0:24:090:24:11

I'm sorry if you got the wrong idea.

0:24:110:24:13

But, Frank, please don't come round again.

0:24:130:24:17

MUSIC: "Unchained Melody" by Bobby Hatfield

0:24:230:24:28

Hope you don't fancy another dance.

0:25:030:25:05

Done that. No backward steps.

0:25:060:25:09

You know, it was only eight months ago they wheeled

0:25:110:25:14

you off a plane into Housmans.

0:25:140:25:16

You didn't even know if you were going to take any steps,

0:25:160:25:19

forwards or backwards.

0:25:190:25:20

Yeah. That was scary.

0:25:200:25:22

But today...a giant leap...forwards.

0:25:240:25:29

Yeah.

0:25:290:25:30

It's weird, but...yeah.

0:25:310:25:34

Thanks for everything, you know.

0:25:380:25:40

-Yes, Jimmi, got the message.

-Not ones with a zip at the back.

0:25:440:25:48

They could probably work straight from these. Do you think?

0:25:480:25:50

I do need to know, is there going to be a fitting?

0:25:500:25:52

You do know the Principal Boy wears boots?

0:25:520:25:54

-They're absolutely essential.

-I was going to try...

-Thigh high.

0:25:540:25:57

It's part of the pantomime tradition.

0:25:570:25:59

Anything less is absolutely unacceptable.

0:25:590:26:00

Is this the healthy buzz of theatrical production I hear?

0:26:000:26:03

Good. Now, Mandy, since our last meeting,

0:26:030:26:05

-one or two thought have occurred to me.

-What?

0:26:050:26:07

Like how I'm going to take everybody's

0:26:070:26:09

-coats as they arrive, as well?

-No, I don't think that'll be...

0:26:090:26:12

Oh, you're making a joke.

0:26:120:26:13

Mandy is a fully paid up member of the cast, everybody.

0:26:150:26:18

Meet Dandini!

0:26:180:26:19

ALL TALK OVER EACH OTHER

0:26:190:26:21

I'm afraid, right now, Dandini has a patient waiting. So please...

0:26:210:26:25

Yes, Mandy is right.

0:26:250:26:27

There are far more important things to discuss than costume.

0:26:270:26:31

For example, stage lighting.

0:26:330:26:35

Mandy?

0:26:370:26:40

Mandy?

0:26:400:26:41

Your mum signed this?

0:26:450:26:47

This is her consent?

0:26:470:26:49

If you feel that strongly about it, you sort it.

0:26:490:26:52

You sent my vulnerable and confused wife to stay with that creep?!

0:26:520:26:55

No, I did not. I mean, it was not my idea.

0:26:550:26:57

First tell me what A-level grades you got.

0:26:570:27:00

I don't mean to sound ungrateful.

0:27:000:27:02

Well, you do.

0:27:020:27:03

It's a tricky job, this one.

0:27:030:27:05

-Surveillance.

-Great.

0:27:050:27:07

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0:27:070:27:10

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