Foxtrot Tango Doctors

MUSIC: "Unchained Melody" by The Righteous Brothers

# Oh, my love

# My darling... #

Not a word to anyone?

Scouts' honour.

# A long, lonely time

# And time... #

-Got any soap?

-Huh?

Oh, my... Yeah...

There.

Oh, lovely.

I thought I might grab a bowl of this to take upstairs.

Actually, you might need that?

I'm sure I can find you a bowl somewhere...

Eh, cereal with three-day-old beans...

-No, thanks! Gross!

-It's not usually this bad.

Oh, well, so, secretly, you're hygienic!

-Like I say...

-Thanks...

Yeah, good job. Thanks, man. Thanks.

Let's do it.

I managed to squeeze everyone in.

Cinderella, Buttons, the Uglies.

Look at Zara!

Makes me glad I'm just the stage manager.

"Just" stage manager?

There's no just about it, yours is a pivotal role!

Costume, props, scenery...

Talking of which, we need to have a chat later.

Yes, we can, but then, please, can I start to get on with it?

-Of course, how about lunch? I'm buying.

-Ooh.

-My room, two o'clock, sandwiches?

-Oh(!)

Erm, it's normal to have the director's name on the poster.

And the writer.

Silly old custom, I'll...

leave it up to you.

Oh, you've tidied up! Bless!

Don't do it for me.

I wasn't really...

Seriously, makes a nice change.

From being followed around with a dustpan and brush

and a massive can of air-freshener.

Tembe's not that bad, is she?

Give me a student dive any day!

I reckon I'd have made a good student.

Maybe not the studying bit, but all the rest.

-What do you reckon?

-Huh?

Yeah, you'd have made a great student.

No, the colour.

I don't know about this.

Not now.

Not now we're here.

What if she...?

-I mean, what if...?

-What if it goes great?

We should go.

You're not turning back now.

What was that promise?

-After the APC went up, the promise to yourself.

-I know.

Well, go on, then.

-TV:

-The over-crowding crisis in our...

Oh, why's everything so complicated?

Why can't you just get up and turn it over?

When you've got 900 channels to flick through,

you'd be up and down the sofa, like a...

Like a tart's knickers?

Yeah, like a tart's knickers.

It is interesting, because you can use your phone and computer fine.

-But when it comes to the remote...

-Oh, no idea.

Selective memory.

Oh, well, it's probably just shot.

-I am 100 years old, after all.

-Hm.

We could always test it.

I could teach you some memorising techniques! Might be fun!

Hmm!

She's there.

Well, that's a good start. Go on.

Remember what we said all along?

Focus on the dream.

-Walk towards it, one step at a time.

-I know.

Well, go on. Steps.

Dance steps.

Just go and say hello.

She's going to be gobsmacked.

What, that you're walking so well?

To see me!

What, she's not expecting you?

Course not!

What, you didn't tell her you were coming?

That's the dream - the surprise!

The look on her face when I walk in.

Frank! Hello, stranger!

What are you doing here?

I just wondered if you fancied a dance?

Of course I would!

OK, you can go. Sorry, guys.

MUSIC: "At Last" by Etta James

August, September, October, November, December.

The mnemonic device is a way of associating an object

you know really well with a thing that you're trying to remember.

So let's say you have to memorise the playing cards

king, queen, Jack.

What do you associate with king?

-Elvis.

-Thank you very much. Queen?

-# Mama, I just killed a man... #

-Bohemian Rhapsody. Great.

Jack.

Er... I dunno...

Jack Rabbit.

OK. Now what if you had to remember them

-in the order of Jack, queen, king? Hmm?

-I...

You say Jack Rabbit, Mama, I just killed a man, Elvis.

-Weird?

-Yeah, a bit.

Wouldn't it be a easier just to remember king, Jack, queen?

Yeah, but the order you were given was Jack, queen, king.

-Ah...

-I think we're missing the point.

See, ultimately, I'm talking about visualisation.

Do you need to take a break?

Karen?

Wow! Wow! Who...? Who's this?

Oh, just an old friend.

Come on.

-You learning your lines?

-Trying to.

Ever thought about using mnemonics?

Cheeky.

-Do you want me to test you?

-Go on, then.

I have to say, it's a recurring nightmare of mine.

I'm stood up in front of a group of people,

haven't got a clue what I'm supposed to be saying.

I wonder where that comes from.

-Did you do school plays or something?

-Just one. Had to say,

"Hark, three kings approach, riding upon donkeys."

See? Still got it.

OK. I am Cinderella. You are Buttons.

"Oh, Buttons, tall, dark, handsome is he."

Oh. Thank you very much.

"Prince Charming's got everything except..."

Except any chest hair, cos he's clearly played by a woman.

It doesn't say that.

Keep going.

"..except for me."

"You don't want the prince, with his...

"Cute little nose and sparkling eyes."

Sparkling? It's just cos he's drunk. Who wants a cute little nose?

You want Cyrano de Bergerac.

You know what they say, the bigger the nose,

the bigger the...handkerchief!

-You can't keep making it up.

-I can't help myself.

OK.

"You don't want the prince, with his..."

"Cute little nose and sparkling eyes."

"..for it is closer to home that your true love lies."

"Pause for laughter."

Pause for tumbleweed.

Amway, come on, do it properly or else you'll never get it right.

Go from...

"You don't want the prince, with his..."

Can I just ask one quick question?

How come you've learnt my lines quicker than I have?

That's true.

Pause for laughter.

Pause for a cup of tea while I make a note of this.

Third prize.

We couldn't believe it.

Only been dancing two months.

I started cos I saw Kelly go in the hall and I thought, "Whoa!"

So, I walked in right behind her.

Next thing, the instructor's going, "Take your partners,"

so I went straight up to Kelly.

You must have the feet for it.

I followed her, to be honest. I thought, "Don't blow it.

"Don't make her look stupid."

And I did OK.

I found something out that day.

You can do anything if you want it bad enough.

My friends ripped it out of me.

Started calling me Foxtrot Tango cos of my initials.

But it was never about dancing. It was always about Kelly.

Same with all this...

Getting back on my feet.

Well, it's been a long enough road, that's for sure.

But it's not over yet.

And now the reason for doing it's gone.

You can't think like that.

In fact, a suggestion...

Put the trophy away. Keep it for what it is - it's a good memory.

But there'll be plenty more.

PHONE RINGS

You can do this on your own. I'm serious.

What was it you just said? "If you want it bad enough"?

Bellamy.

Yes.

20 minutes. Bye.

I've got to get back to work.

I'll see you very soon.

You'll be fine, twinkle toes.

Ham and cheese sandwiches, essential for any pantomime, wouldn't you say?

So..

So, I would like to get a couple of things nailed down, Heston,

make sure we're on the same song sheet.

-Can we talk about scenery?

-Absolutely.

So, obviously we want to keep things simple. You know those...

Those folding partition things that you get in offices?

All we need is, like, three of them.

We can paint on bricks...

and windows, trees,

design something general onto lining paper, you know,

make it look quite fun.

Stick it on both sides, so we can turn it round.

And then the clever bit, I thought...

Actually, I think we can afford to be

a little bit more ambitious than that.

OK. First night, picture the scene.

The audience settles, ready to be transported through

the magic of theatre into a land of dreams.

The curtain opens, the lights come up

to reveal three office partitions covered in painted wallpaper.

Marvellous(!)

Fine.

It's not a criticism. I just don't want us to appear amateur.

-It IS amateur, though.

-That's a bit defeatist, don't you think?

-No!

Wonder and dreams are all very well,

but this is medical staff in their spare time

and it's happening soon.

-That's if it happens at all.

-What do you mean?

I mean, we need to be practical, Heston.

You know, make lists, tick things off and stop getting carried away,

otherwise it's not going to happen.

Mandy, yes, of course. Thank you.

-You need a list of jobs.

-Exactly.

OK. Let's start with the sub heading for design.

Scenery. Obtain/manufacture paint, set dressing...

We can discuss the details later.

..costume design. Obtain some fabric...

It's a good job I don't have any nursing to do, isn't it(?)

I know, but think how worthwhile it'll be

when the standing ovation lifts the roof.

And I have another surprise for you.

You will be on stage too, taking a bow,

-because I need you to play the part of Dandini.

-What?

Pam the cleaner was down to do it,

but it conflicts with her pilates class.

Don't worry, there are no lines. You'll hardly know you're doing it.

I knew you'd be pleased.

Ta-da!

This is the Wiki site.

Wiki, coming from the Hawaiian term wiki-wiki, meaning fast.

The advantage here is the enhanced interactivity.

-You with me so far?

-No.

-OK

Why don't you just tell me what it does?

Basically, your friend Maggie gave me a list of all your friends

from back in the day and I e-mailed them, telling them that they

-could put stuff all about you on here.

-Amazing.

It might help with your memory.

So much of our memory has to do with context.

If you read the real life stories, you might start to fill in the gaps.

-So when can they put things on?

-It's live now.

Ah. A watched pot...

Realistically, it'll take a couple of days to get a bite.

So, how do you tell when people have done something?

You just hit refresh.

I need to see her.

Just get Kelly.

-Don't talk to me like that.

-Don't stand in my way.

-She's not in.

-You're lying.

Why don't you do one...freak?

You all right?

Hmm-hmm. Fine. Everything's fine.

One of those days, eh? Why don't you take five minutes?

Have a cup of tea. In fact, I might join you.

-I've been meaning to have a word.

-I've got a patient...

It's about my costumes. I've got a few ideas.

PHONE RINGS

Excuse me.

Hello.

What?

I'm sorry, Howard.

Come on!

-Ah! There's one from Jo Brindley!

-You got one.

"Hey Karen, remember Deakins Field

"when my brother and his mates went camping?

"You and me told our mums that we were staying with the other

"one for the night,

"and then we went drinking cider until it got light." Oh, yes.

"And a cow ran over the tent, and Betty grassed us up!"

Flipping Betty lived next door.

She could hear our garden gate squeak from a mile away.

My mum was mad, but we just laughed.

"My dad was so cross, he cricked his neck and had a week off work."

Oh, I'd forgotten that! Wow!

-Don't worry.

-Kelly, sorry.

I'm Howard Bellamy.

I saw you at the dance hall earlier.

We didn't get the chance to be introduced.

I've been mentoring Frank through rehab.

I'll make sure he behaves.

Please, Kelly, I don't want to cause you trouble -

that's why I left at the hall. But...

What's going on?

What's going on? You tell me. You turn up here and hit Mark!

I shouldn't have done that, but seeing him in my place...

Sorry?

Why are you being so harsh?

OK. What USED to be my place.

Frank, we've never been in a relationship.

-You're not taking that away from me.

-There's nothing to take away.

What are you talking about?

-I'm not having this, Frank. Anyway, Mark'll be back any minute.

-Kelly!

Leave me alone!

No.

Frank, what's going on?

Have you got a girlfriend?

Me? No.

Every time I dip my toes in Lake Romance, they get bitten off.

-And after last time...

-What happened?

I don't know.

I'm not really built for affairs of the heart.

Besides, it's probably best just to stay clear.

Who was she?

A work colleague.

Oh, Buttons! You went after Cinderella.

HE LAUGHS

Yeah, I suppose I did.

Has this panto taught you nothing?

-What? I should go after an ugly sister instead?

-Yeah!

For the practice.

You know. I mean, you've got to get back in the saddle.

Hmm. I think you're right.

The time has come.

-Yay! Get a girlfriend!

-No. Do the washing up.

Oh! Go on, then, and I'll dry.

DOORBELL RINGS

I can't apologise enough.

I know there's something not right here.

Can I just explain something?

I'm guessing you haven't heard from Frank for a while, right?

Yeah.

-Well, he's been very badly hurt...

-Not by me.

No. By a Taliban bomb.

It destroyed his vehicle and killed one of his friends,

and he's been struggling with his injury.

Perhaps more from post-traumatic stress.

He's had to pull himself out of a dark place.

For the last eight months, he's been on a very slippery slope.

And he's needed an anchor,

something strong and definite.

And rightly or wrongly, that something was how he felt about you.

I didn't know.

I'm sorry. I assumed you did,

otherwise I'd have never have let it get this far.

But here we are.

But I'm worried if we...

I'm worried if we don't sort out this misunderstanding...

Well, he'll just... He'll be back where he started.

Oh...!

-How's your day?

-Oh. Apart from horrendous Cinderella, fine.

-Right.

-Can't anybody talk about anything else?

Yeah, I agree. Actually, I do have a question about my costume though.

All it is, what do I wear on my legs? Cos it's not stockings, is it?

I wouldn't have thought it would have to be stockings.

Are you talking costume? Great.

I was wondering if I could have a word, if you've got ten minutes.

-Ten?

-I thought I'd save you the bother of designing mine.

-Well, I wasn't going to. I was just going to go to a charity shop.

-Oh!

Oh, no. No, Mandy, that will look very am dram.

We need something striking for the ball.

I've actually done some sketches.

Sorry, I haven't drawn since I was at college, but you get the idea.

Who's going to make that?

Back to the stockings, just for a second.

Actually, It's not the stockings that I'm worried about,

it's the suspenders I'm not really keen on.

And... I wouldn't have thought tights would be good either,

so I was thinking trousers. Girls' trousers, obviously.

-Actually, yes, can I have a word?

-Stitch and bitch.

-I beg your pardon?

We need to talk boots.

Your sewing group.

I would have thought they'd be delighted to help.

After all, it is for children with cancer.

Frank.

Would you like me to stay?

Let's get this straight, Frank.

We used to dance together. We were mates.

You used to write letters to me about what was going on out there.

-I used to write back.

-With kisses.

-They're not real, Frank.

-There was one that one time.

-One kiss.

-On the lips.

A kiss goodnight. And I'm sorry, Frank, it meant nothing.

I should have died.

You can feel it flowing out of you like a river.

But I thought of me and you dancing...

And you knew...

because I wrote it in the letters, didn't I?

I stopped opening them when you started getting heavy.

Yeah? Well, why didn't you throw them out, then?

I'm with Mark.

We're getting married. You knew I stopped writing back, Frank.

The army stopped them cos we were stuck out in the middle of nowhere.

-Frank, why did you never call me?

-When?

You've been back for months. Why not, Frank?

You didn't call because you knew it was all in your head.

I... I needed it to be true.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry if you got the wrong idea.

But, Frank, please don't come round again.

MUSIC: "Unchained Melody" by Bobby Hatfield

Hope you don't fancy another dance.

Done that. No backward steps.

You know, it was only eight months ago they wheeled

you off a plane into Housmans.

You didn't even know if you were going to take any steps,

forwards or backwards.

Yeah. That was scary.

But today...a giant leap...forwards.

Yeah.

It's weird, but...yeah.

Thanks for everything, you know.

-Yes, Jimmi, got the message.

-Not ones with a zip at the back.

They could probably work straight from these. Do you think?

I do need to know, is there going to be a fitting?

You do know the Principal Boy wears boots?

-They're absolutely essential.

-I was going to try...

-Thigh high.

It's part of the pantomime tradition.

Anything less is absolutely unacceptable.

Is this the healthy buzz of theatrical production I hear?

Good. Now, Mandy, since our last meeting,

-one or two thought have occurred to me.

-What?

Like how I'm going to take everybody's

-coats as they arrive, as well?

-No, I don't think that'll be...

Oh, you're making a joke.

Mandy is a fully paid up member of the cast, everybody.

Meet Dandini!

ALL TALK OVER EACH OTHER

I'm afraid, right now, Dandini has a patient waiting. So please...

Yes, Mandy is right.

There are far more important things to discuss than costume.

For example, stage lighting.

Mandy?

Mandy?

Your mum signed this?

This is her consent?

If you feel that strongly about it, you sort it.

You sent my vulnerable and confused wife to stay with that creep?!

No, I did not. I mean, it was not my idea.

First tell me what A-level grades you got.

I don't mean to sound ungrateful.

Well, you do.

It's a tricky job, this one.

-Surveillance.

-Great.

Subtitles By Red Bee Media Ltd