Plan B Doctors

Slow down. There's no exam today.

Just revision. You should be glad I'm early for once.

Can't I buy lunch today, Mum? I'm so sick of sandwiches.

Oh, we're broke again. What a surprise.

Is your school report in here?

Mum, don't!

Reports haven't been sent out yet. See you later.

Revise hard, OK? You need good results for law school.

Give me a break!

Heston?

Have I just seen Karen.

Yeah, it's good to have her back.

I'm sure the money will come in handy.

Aha!

Sorry, mate, but you've lost me.

Well, it's a phased return,

but if she works more than half a week we pay her extra.

She's back working?

Don't worry she's in safe hands.

"Don't worry?!" How the hell...

PHONE RINGS

Damn.

Yes.

You're an early bird. So to speak.

Sorry. Take a seat. I'll get the receptionist.

Thanks.

Ta-da!

That's wonderful! Must've taken ages.

All weekend but I think they've turned out OK.

So this is Jimmi's and this one is Daniel's.

The boys are wearing that?!

Oh my life, I can't wait to see this show!

-Do you think they're OK?

-Believe me - the worse, the better!

What's that supposed to mean?

Valerie, you've got a patient waiting.

Righto. You are very clever, Mandy.

Yeah, well done, Mand. This is going to destroy them.

Morning. I won't be a moment.

Let's get some more light in here, shall we?

Right. That's better. How can I help you?

Hiya. I'd like the HPV vaccination please.

-I was ill when they came to school.

-OK.

Here's the consent form. My mum's signed it.

Sorry, Mum's writing's awful. Can you read it? It's Lin Wong.

We only just remembered but I'm glad we did cos it's important to

have this injection, isn't it?

For girls my age.

Well, younger usually cos I'm 15 now.

Yes, it is. Your mum signed this?

This is her consent?

I'll just go and check with the nurse.

Daniel, Heston, Zara - Battle of the Alpha Egos.

It's a bit of fun.

All on a public stage. Perfect!

Mandy, you've got a 15 year-old waiting for the HPV vaccine.

I'm not sure about this signature, I don't think it's her mum's.

She's brought the form, just take it in good faith, OK?

She's doing the right thing here.

Forging her mum's signature?

She's obviously a bright, sensible person,

even if her mum isn't.

Every teenage girl should have the HPV vaccination.

We haven't got any here. She'll have to come back.

Why? Get them sent over from the Mill.

Right. I've had enough of taking orders!

If you feel that strongly about it, you sort it.

I'm going to be in later anyway, so... Got to go. Bye.

Mrs Tembe! Mrs Tembe?

Oh! Good morning, Sergeant Hollins.

Do you think Karen's ready to come back?

I know how much you worry, Sergeant Hollins. We all worry.

But Mrs Hollins is in excellent health for someone...

..someone...

-Someone with a serious head injury?

-Exactly.

Thank you for looking after her, and all of that.

Here's some more money towards her keep.

No. No, really. It is not necessary.

Oh, it is. Trust me I know my wife,

she's probably costing you a fortune in chocolate.

No, really, I cannot it. Please, No.

Is everything OK?

Yes, of course.

I am sure everything is fine with Mrs Hollins.

But you don't know?

No, I do not.

I am afraid to say that your wife is no longer staying with me.

PHONE RINGS

Good morning, Campus Surgery.

Oh. The thing is I thought my daughter was at school

and I've just found out it's teacher training.

Do you want an appointment?

She had your number, you see, and if she's not at school,

I don't know where she is.

She's only 15.

Oh, dear.

So, is she there by any chance? Her name's Jenny Wong.

Um...

I'm not sure how much I can say, what with patient confidentiality.

She's there then.

I didn't say...

I'm coming right now, so please make sure she waits. Goodbye.

Bye then.

Um, Kevin, can I have a word?

You see, I felt that I couldn't really cope with the way she...

-I really am very sorry.

-The way she what?

The way she was feeling.

Mrs Tembe, please just say what you mean?

It was like living with a teenager, Sergeant Hollins.

She is moody and headstrong and full of hormones!

Hormones? What was she doing?

Nothing. Nothing really.

Something could have happened or might have happened

but it didn't, believe me.

What? What didn't happen?

Well...

She brought a friend back.

But I turned him away, of course I did.

But now... Well, now she is no longer staying with me.

But everything is fine because she is staying with Dr...

Well, Dr...

Carter?

Clay?

Granger?

-Haskey.

-Haskey?!

You sent my vulnerable and confused wife to stay with that creep?!

No, I did not. I mean it was not my idea.

Where are you going?

He is with a patient.

Please, sit down.

I will make you a cup of tea.

In you come.

Are you doing the injection? I was expecting the nurse.

Actually, there's a bit of a problem.

I did bring the consent form.

We're out of vaccine but there's some coming shortly.

That's OK. I can wait.

And if we feel you're mature enough,

you don't actually need parental consent, by the way.

Really? That's great.

Cos actually my mum's a bit vague on the HPV thing.

She thinks good girls don't need it.

-Is that why she didn't let you have it at school?

-She kept me off.

Which is ironic cos she won't let me miss a minute of school normally.

So she somehow thinks it'll encourage you to be sexually active?

Exactly, but that's not why I want it.

My dad died of cancer when I was a baby.

-This vaccine is a no-brainer to me.

-I agree.

We've had so many arguments about this stupid injection.

So if I can have it without bothering her, all the better.

Uh, yeah, that's the other problem.

For some reason, she phoned up and kind of guessed you were here.

How did she know?

She will completely flip!

If it helps, I can try to explain to her

why it's a good idea for you to be vaccinated.

Don't you think I've tried?

And she won't come near this place.

She's kind of on her way now, so we can talk about it then.

She's coming here?

Thanks very much for coming in to see us, Mr Bottomley.

Take care of yourself.

Rob, I am incredibly busy today.

I'm sure I can spare five minutes for you.

Good.

What seems to be the problem?

Let me see.

Could it be that my wife of nearly 25 years,

who needs lots of support and looking after

on account of the fact that she's vulnerable,

seems to have, incredibly, found herself in your care?

Right. And your concern is?

My concern is why she's in your care?

Unless of course she's the perfect case study for your research?

This has absolutely nothing to do with my research, Rob.

Yeah, right.

Karen's welcome to stay with me as long as she needs to.

Why else would you let a colleague you barely know...?

I've worked with Karen for over a year...

..who incidentally always thought you were a creep,

stay at your gaff?

Oh, wait a minute...surely not.

Is this another sleazy attempt to bag a woman.

Say that again.

How desperate are you?!

She's vulnerable and isn't she a little bit too mature for you?

Get out.

Mr Bottomley, you forgot your prescription.

Come in, I'll talk you through the side-effects?

Thanks for coming to see me, Rob.

I said, it's all coming together, the costumes are nearly done,

they just need fitting.

-Oh, damn it.

-Heston?

Jimmi can't make tonight's rehearsal.

Do you want me to bring the costumes over?

Sorry, I can't make tonight.

-We'll make it earlier.

-I'm not sure.

It was booked ages ago. 2pm. Tell Jimmi.

You tell him. I've got patients.

Heston, are you there? I need to check... Hello?

They're as bad as each other! I'll phone you later.

Heston?

All Mum talks about is exams and what I need to get into law school.

-She doesn't care about anything else.

-You're a budding lawyer, wow.

Mate of mine's a barrister in Birmingham.

Maybe he could persuade her about this vaccine then,

cos that's what it's going to take.

It's a she, actually.

But I can be equally persuasive, believe me.

Excuse me, I'm sorry!

There you are. I am so cross!

Mrs Wong...

Sorry for wasting your time, Doctor.

-Can we talk about this vaccine?

-I have to work, I'm afraid.

Come on quickly, you can revise at home.

But, Mrs Wong, I really think...

Thank you. Goodbye.

I know how hard this is for you, Sergeant Hollins, believe me.

She won't talk to me.

You're just the person I wanted to see.

-Am I?

-Is Howard's room free?

Yes, he is on police duty today.

Come on then.

Right, OK. Good.

Good.

Hiya.

So you're back at work?

-It's not too much?

-I'm fine.

I hear you're staying with Al.

That's why I wanted to...

I need to give him some money, you know, for food and that.

Yeah, course. OK. I'll give him a few quid.

I'll give it to him.

But...

..I'm not giving him much!

It's my money. My money goes into your bank account.

Our bank account, our joint account,

which pays for insurance, road tax, electricity,

all the household bills. They all cost money.

We've only just paid off your store cards from last Christmas!

-I've got store cards?

-Yeah.

-No.

-Which is it?

It's no.

Doesn't matter anyway cos I'm going to open a bank account,

I'm going to put my money in there.

They're your bills too.

I don't live there any more, I haven't got a car,

what's it go to do with me?

For heaven's sake, Karen! You know what?

I'm not doing this because it's going to be Christmas soon

and Jack and Immie will be home,

so why don't you move back in with us, get to know us again,

then decide what you're going to do from there, yeah?

-No thanks.

-Karen!

-Get off me!

Is this what it was like? You talked, I obeyed?

I wish it was.

I'm going out this afternoon and I need some more of my money.

How dare you! Why the hell can't you trust me?

Because you're lying to me!

You say you're going to school but you go to the doctors.

You say the reports aren't out yet, but they came out last week.

I phoned the school.

How bad's your report?

Why are you lying to me?

Kevin, the HPV vaccines have arrived.

Shall I tell Jenny Wong?

Um. I don't think she's having it.

Really? But she was so keen!

And I thought you said it was important.

It is important.

Good sister, I do not need to dream I have the face of a beauty queen.

Line?

"Give it back then."

-That doesn't really scan, does it?

-It's a joke.

I have the face of a beauty queen. Give it back then.

We break the rhythm of the line for the joke.

OK.

That silly Cinders, the stupid clown,

can you believe she's shrunk my gown?

-Line.

-Have you learnt any of it?

I've had patients all morning.

-Heston, excuse me.

-Not now!

I'm busy later, Heston, I've got patients.

We've all got patients.

But Jimmi managed to learn his lines.

And put some life into it, both of you!

It's like watching dead fish. Where's your characterisation?

Daniel, do your monologue.

No problem.

Line?

-Doctor.

-Hi, Mrs Wong. Can I come in for a minute?

I'm sorry I have to work.

I just wanted to apologise about earlier.

I let you and your daughter down

by not explaining the situation properly.

Can we talk inside?

Well, I really can't stop. I'm already behind.

And I ought to be at the surgery treating patients.

Please. It's important.

Ah, I'm sorry about earlier.

You wouldn't believe how unprofessional they're being.

Really (?)

At least somebody's on task.

Look at these.

The girls from the Craft Club helped. Took us all weekend.

Bright and colourful to complement the comedy.

Daniel and Jimmi are intent on killing every gag they've got.

Perhaps they're not in the swing of things yet.

Maybe if they looked funnier. Silly shoes or comedy hats.

Yeah, that's it - matching hats. With an embroidered motif.

PHONE RINGS

You want me to make hats and sew more stuff on them?

Heston, that'll take ages.

Yes, Daniel, what is it now?

Really?

Did Jenny ask you to come here?

No, but she did mention that your husband died of cancer

when she was a baby.

But now she is clever and strong, Dr Tyler.

As long as she studies hard and doesn't mess with boys,

then there's no chance of diseases or babies or anything.

If you don't mind I need to sort this fabric now.

Please, carry on.

It's a tough world, Mrs Wong.

Today's teenagers need all the help they can get, don't you think?

Jenny must rely on herself not other people.

You never know what's going to happen.

When I was a kid, it was just me and my mum.

We really struggled. It's tough on your own.

It can be tough.

Not the life you expected, eh?

No.

Cheng always knew he would die young...

he felt it somehow.

I didn't believe him.

I was lost without him.

That's the thing about cancer...

But you worked hard and made it to medical school, Dr Tyler,

that's excellent.

I keep telling Jenny - work, work, work and you'll get A*s.

Hey, Dr Tyler.

The doctor was telling me how hard he worked to get to medical school.

Yeah? Anything else?

Sorry, Doctor, but I must use the machine now.

Thank you for coming.

Haven't you offered him a cup of tea, Mum? He's a visitor.

I'd love a tea. Thank you.

Sorry. Yes of course. I'll make some.

I don't need more lectures on working hard, you know.

Did you even go to training school?

You cannot mislay your notebook!

-So go and find it!

-Sorry, Sergeant.

What?

Sorry. Bunch of dimwits!

This afternoon's instructions?

Actually I'm glad you're here, Howard, mate.

I need someone I can trust. It's a tricky job, this one.

-Surveillance.

-Great.

I need you to follow someone and report back everything that happens.

Every tiny detail.

Definitely. No problem. Who's the target?

Karen.

-Karen?

-Yeah, Karen.

She's going out shopping this afternoon with a purse full of cash.

You're asking me to spy on your wife?

No. No, I'm telling you.

Seriously? Is that a good use of my time?

You're the one who's paying her to go back to work early.

That's not how it happened.

She's going to be in the High Street around 3 o'clock, so off you toddle.

And remember, Constable...every tiny little detail, I want it all.

Digestives OK?

Fine thank you.

Any other tips about applying to university?

No, I don't think so.

-THEY WHISPER:

-She's very focused, isn't she?

I bet your barrister mate never had to go through this.

She had the opposite problem,

she had to fight her family and the entire community

to let her go to law school.

Turned her into a damn good barrister though, I tell you.

Maybe that's what we should do, establish your mum's objections,

then tackle them head-on, like a barrister.

She can't hear the word "Cancer" without getting upset, even now.

Thank you.

So how about we talk about the vaccination programme?

First tell me what A-level grades you got.

OK, Mum. You win.

-What's this?

-My school report.

OK, down to the bottom, turn left.

Concentrate, this is the tricky bit.

KAREN LAUGHS

It's the best report I've had.

Why hide it then?

Why didn't you give it to me?

I can't take this any more, Mum.

The better my results, the more pressure there is.

I really wanted to be a lawyer

when we did that Mock Trial thing at school,

but I don't know any more.

You'll be a wonderful lawyer.

It's all you talk about, all you think about and I'm sick of it!

This is my life, Mum, my career.

I've got to decide for myself.

It's not so easy. You have to make the right decisions.

And you don't trust me to do that, do you?

I can't even make decisions about my own body.

Not this again!

You've got to start trusting me.

The HPV vaccine is a good idea, Mrs Wong.

-I don't want to discuss it!

-Please, hear her out.

Thank you.

Now, Dr Tyler, please tell us about the HPV vaccination

and why you feel young women should have it.

The Human Papilloma Virus is a nasty piece of work.

I really don't...

It causes nearly all cervical cancers, is that right?

As well as other cancers and diseases.

So it's responsible for lots of deaths?

Yes, but the vaccine would prevent a lot of these.

That's the reason for this programme.

Now one thing I wasn't sure about, Dr Tyler,

was why boys aren't vaccinated as well?

Well, that's a very good question.

I suppose cos it'd cost a lot.

We just haven't got round to it yet.

You've got a very good level of understanding, Jenny, I'm impressed.

Aren't you?

Mrs Wong, she's researched it very thoroughly,

that's very mature.

She's a strong-minded young woman.

You should be proud.

PHONE RINGS

What are we going to have? What are you going to get me?

What? TEXT MESSAGE ALERT

What is it?

Eh!

Where are you going?

Can you make sure that she gets home safe, thanks, pal?

So?

So you think boys are more important than your future.

What do you mean?

A boyfriend won't let you study, Jenny,

he'll want your time, your attention, you.

I haven't got a boyfriend!

Our hard work will be wasted.

This is about sex isn't it?

Mrs Wong?

I think your mum thinks that if you're having the vaccine

then you're sexually active.

But I'm not, Mum, I promise!

But you will.

Someday, yes. But not now.

I'm too young and too busy.

Mum, listen to me, please.

This is about preventing cancer.

She can have the injections without your permission.

But I don't want to, Mum.

Because you've done so much for me and I'm really grateful.

But what's the point in me being a wonderful barrister

or a fantastic lawyer if I don't take care of my own health?

She's right.

Losing Dad was terrible...

for both of us.

You have your own mind, I can see that.

Let her use it.

All right.

Thank you.

We've got some of the vaccine at the surgery now.

Great. But if it's OK I think I'll drop in next week

when my mocks are finished.

OK, no worries. Bye now.

Goodbye.

Thanks, Dr Tyler.

That was all down to you.

Excellent negotiation skills - you'll make a great lawyer.

I will, won't I?

Design meeting, my room, 6pm?

-No way.

-Don't be late?

I haven't got time to do more work on costumes.

What do you mean?

I gave you exactly what you wanted, Heston, and it took me hours.

I appreciate that.

Do you? Because I don't think so!

I haven't noticed an ounce of appreciation from anyone,

least of all you.

And if that doesn't change, I'm quitting.

What? Mandy, you can't!

Oh, yes, I can.

You have treated me like a skivvy from the start. It stops now.

I don't mean to sound ungrateful.

Well, you do. Ungrateful, dismissive and just plain rude.

Any more of it and you can find some other mug to do your hard work, OK?

Yes, OK.

Sorry!

HE CLEARS HIS THROAT

Where have you been?

You've not been answering your phone.

-It's been playing up, didn't I say?

-No.

So what did she do? What did she buy?

I'm not sure, Rob.

What shops did she go in?

What bags was she carrying?

She didn't have any.

What was she wearing?

I don't know.

Something a bit...

..sort of...

Right, all right.

Complete honesty.

Was she in a bar?

On her own?

I'm sorry, Rob.

She did go home on her own, in the end.

Right. Thanks.

Ooh, my Prince Charming!

The last thing I need is another jailor.

I'm just trying to get my life back.

Well, you might want something more baggy,

something you can move around in?

I didn't know there was a manager's meeting.

There isn't. It's a one-on-one.

-I'm Karen by the way.

-Phil.

I'm going to put you up at the Hyatt, in the penthouse.

Can we just get on with it, sweetheart?

I've got to get back to the office.

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