Quick Fingered Doctors

Freedom.

Granger!

Happy New Year. Again.

Happy New Year. Again.

DANIEL CHUCKLES

Come on, there's no-one about! No.

It's not like we're upsetting anyone!

You need to get to the campus. Hello? Daniel Granger.

Quick Fingered.

Happy New Year! Happy New Year.

Good Christmas? Yeah, yeah. You?

Hmm.

All right, see if you can find someone to help you in

and then we'll try and take a look at you.

Ill all over Christmas and now they want to see someone.

We're going to be heaving today.

Well, Valerie, I, for one, am up for it.

This year, I'm going to get things done.

I'm going to go that extra mile.

Is that why you brought your bike inside?

No, I forgot my lock.

Valerie, forget bureaucracy, all right,

and paperwork and form filling,

it's all about human contact, talking to people, making a difference.

Well, today you're going to have to. Like I say, we're going to be rammed

and Dr Granger's had to go to St Phil's.

Bring it on.

How long have you had it? It came on yesterday.

You've had the flu jab! We all have! It'll leave us a doctor short!

PHONE RINGS

Bellamy.

Yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Happy New Year to you, Valerie.

Really?

Valerie's saying there's no doctor at the campus.

I'll do it. I thought you said you had flu!

24-hour thing, must be.

Valerie?

Jimmi? Good Christmas? Yeah, good thanks, got to go.

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year.

Ugh! Enjoying yourself? Yeah. More than I did when I was doing it.

You don't mean that. No? It took me two weeks to calm down!

How was your Christmas? Yeah, it was...strange.

Oh, I'm sorry, Emma. Don't be silly.

Here's me going on about that stupid panto...

HESTON: Annus mirabilis or annus horribilis?

So far, one has to say

that the panto raised nearly ?2,000 for the children's cancer ward.

Mirabilis. Well done.

Happy New Year.

ALL: Happy New Year!

Was it a good one?

It was mental.

The best party ever. It was busting!

And other '80s aphorisms. Welcome to my world.

Where do you even get a kebab at eight o'clock in the morning?

You've just got to know the kebab shops that stay open all night.

Ask Karen. Why? Because you stay out all night.

It was New Year's Eve! Yeah, and the rest. Welcome to my world!

I've been away for six months.

Like to get checked up when I get back.

What with the liver disease...

Let's have a look at you.

Just lift your shirt up at the back for me.

Well, you've been looking after yourself.

Few weights. Treadmill.

Not much else to do.

And you haven't been drinking?

You can't where I've been.

Where's that? Middle East.

Not thinking of retiring? In this economic climate?

Fair enough.

But you do know, with cirrhosis, you can't keep going forever.

Travelling.

Have you got family around?

Daughter and grandson.

And you don't mind not seeing them for six months at a time?

And the rest.

Well, you going to go see them now?

Doubt it. I'll probably just get straight off again.

If I was you...

If you were me, you'd see them while I could?

Well, yeah, might not be a bad idea.

Valerie?

What's this?

Is it a trick question? No. What's it doing here?

Oh, it's Chris's. Do you want me to move it?

No. I'll do it.

Then, while the kettle is re-boiling,

pour the water away, add a teaspoon of tea for each person,

plus one for the pot, and wait three minutes.

Three minutes. Gotcha.

I hope you don't mind me going through all this with you? No.

It's a really important part of keeping the place going.

Believe me, after what I have to put up with.

I mean, it's filthy! Nothing is ever washed up or put away.

At least here you know where everything is.

Where's the tea?

In the cupboard. Lapsang Souchong.

Loose leaf.

See...

he re-uses tea bags. What?

He gets them back out of the brown bin.

Oh, the recycling?

Recycling? What's that about? It's disgusting!

He's disgusting.

Oh! Mandy! Can I have a word?

It struck me, when I was talking about the pantomime earlier,

have we lost sight of what it's really all about?

I don't know. Have we?

Is the one person we've forgotten standing right here in this room?

Maybe she is.

The one lost soul we can really help.

What? She's not happy. Living with Al.

Have you not picked up an atmosphere?

No, Heston, why? Have you?

Absolutely! I'm surprised you haven't noticed.

Maybe the answer is right under our noses.

Charity begins at home.

Mmm. It's not here. Look.

What isn't? Your tea.

We're out of Lapsang Souchong? Are we?

I'm surprised you haven't noticed.

Cheers, mate. Yeah. Good luck with it.

I'd keep hold of your handbag, if I were you.

What's going on? He's a compulsive thief.

Mr Fledgling? Yep. And you think he's been in here?

No. Otherwise, this wouldn't be in here.

Don't you think you're being a bit paranoid? Maybe. Maybe not.

Where's my bike? In reception.

Oh, you've...

He'll be long gone.

What are you doing? That's exactly what he wants.

Back inside. No responsibilities. No decisions to make.

What you doing now?

Trying to find where his daughter lives. Why?

Get my bike back.

You put the caller on hold. You call the requested party.

Then you tell them the caller's name and business.

"Caller, putting you through." You press the button.

And return the receiver.

Now, do you think you have got the idea?

Something about a party?

Will you please try and concentrate?!

Dr Carter has requested that we teach you everything.

Make you "invaluable". Did he say that?

Yes. He's being lovely to me.

Well, he is equally nice to everyone.

And given your aversion, he is particularly concerned.

PHONE RINGS

(Go, go!)

Hello? 'Hello.'

The Mill Health Centre.

Oh, hello, Karen, it's Valerie. Is Howard there?

Hang on a sec.

HOWARD! Mrs Hollins!

What's going on? Valerie... Miss Pitman... wants to speak to you.

Valerie?

Is everything all right over there? It sounds a bit rowdy.

Yes, everything's fine, what can I do for you?

Things have gone a bit strange over here as well.

We're a staff member down again. Probably because it's a new moon.

There isn't a new moon! Not even though it's the New Year?

'Chris has had his bike stolen. He's gone off to find it.'

What's going on? We need another volunteer to go down to the campus.

Chris has had his bike stolen and the state Jimmi's in

he can't cope on his own.

You heard of The Nightmare Before Christmas?

Haven't you got work to do? This was the nightmare before, during and after.

Come on, it can't have been that bad. No, it was worse!

If I have to put up with it much longer, I may turn to drink.

KNOCK AT DOOR

Mandy, I was wondering if I could have a word?

Maybe you should talk to Heston. Talk to me about what?

Well, if you can't take it, maybe he can.

Take what? Karen.

She can't come and live with you, can she? Me?

Um...

I just want to talk. Get lost!

I had my 65th birthday in there. And?

No visit, no cards, nothing. Oh, come off it!

There's so much I haven't had the chance to do.

Shut that, Tam.

You want to get that fixed. I'll do it if you like?

I'm off the drink.

Cirrhosis. What?

No, it's a good thing. How do you work that one out?

I'm clean! How long have you known?

Didn't want to bother you. What was I going to say, I've changed?

What do you reckon about the window?

Chris. This is my Marbs,

my daughter, Marbs. This is Chris, the nurse from the doctors.

That's Tam, my grandson, in the window.

Chris told me I should come down here, what with the cirrhosis.

Can I have my bike back, please? I was going to drop it back later.

Have you stolen his bike? I was going to drop it back later!

It's three buses to get here! No, it isn't!

You're a liar, Dad! Once a thief, always a thief!

Love, not in front of Tam.

You're the one that's bought a stolen bike round here!

Thanks for that.

Excuse me?

Do you know what it took me to come here?

Yeah. My bike.

You're the one who said come round.

Don't live a lifetime of regret and all that.

Did I say that?

Well, I wouldn't have come otherwise.

I didn't say to steal my bike, did I?

No. Fair play to you. You didn't say that.

Call the cops. Back inside.

No, sorry, mate. Not this time.

Try wearing flip-flops for a while.

Athlete's foot.

Al's just asked if I'd consider taking Karen in.

So, are you going to?

I'm not saying I wouldn't after I've discussed it with Julia,

but you saw Karen with Mandy. That's where she should be staying.

Maybe you should suggest it?

I can't just TELL Mandy to take Karen in.

I've tried hinting, somehow it's not getting through.

Is there anything YOU can do?

For Karen's sake?

What's all this about?

Come and sit down.

Why aren't you calling the police? Why should I? I've got my bike back.

You must have known I was going to check your notes,

and come round to your daughter's house? I didn't think about it.

Or maybe you cared more about seeing your daughter

and your grandson than getting caught?

That your speciality, is it? Matters of the mind?

No.

You weren't really in the Middle East, were you?

Middle East,

East Midlands...

HMP Garnham.

I'll have a coffee. And get whatever you want.

Who's to say I won't just take the money?

That's why I'm staying with my bike and you're getting the coffees.

Milk, two sugars, please.

Would you mind not...?

Right, have you heard from Chris?

No. Do you think he caught the man who stole his bike?

I don't know. Why would someone do that?

Because it's ritual behaviour, because repeating the same behaviour

is easier than facing the truth. How can he live with himself,

knowing what he's done? ZARA: Hello?

Hi, Howard asked me to come and help out.

While Chris is out fighting crime?

If you say so. I should probably...

I think he blames himself.

What? For Chris's bike.

You sure you're not some kind of psychiatrist?

Er, yeah.

You knew I'd come back.

Well, I hoped you would.

So, why do you do it?

It's what I do. That's not an answer.

All right, it's what I've always done.

Always? Since I was 12.

To buy drink?

Not since I found out about the liver damage.

Luckily, I was inside, otherwise, I'd probably just have felt

sorry for myself and drunk even more.

And you didn't go back to the drink when you came out?

No. I tried.

Got caught stealing a can of cider. Another two months inside.

Gambling, that's what keeps me going now.

Soon as you've gone, I'll be down the nearest betting office.

And a daughter and grandchild you want to see in Letherbridge.

There you go again.

But even if you're right, she said I'm not allowed to see him.

So, you've got to prove to her that you can be trustworthy.

No, I'm not. Well, then, change.

After 50 years?

You gave up drinking.

Any change from these coffees? No.

Go and ask. I'll watch the bike.

And you want her to trust me?

I just want you to show her that you can change.

People don't change.

I disagree.

But it's not your area, is it?

If it was...

Pass me the tea, please? Kettle's just boiled. Thanks.

So, Karen having a hard time with Al?

Yeah, and Dr "Buttons" Haskey isn't happy either.

It's really bothering you, isn't it? This whole pantomime thing?

I thought I was over it. Then Heston comes in with his PAPER!

Maybe I should have a word?

Say what? I don't know.

What about...bribery?

And he hasn't ruined it? Been joyriding?

It's fine.

You should get it checked out all the same. You do hear stories.

Can I ask your advice?

I'm not big on bikes, though.

It's about Bobby. I'm trying to get him referred.

Referred where?

I don't know. He wants some sort of therapy or counselling.

To deal with his kleptomania.

You'll be lucky.

OK, well, how's he supposed to break the cycle?

Who says he wants to? He does. He said that? Pretty much.

He apologised for stealing your bike? Sort of.

You mean, he's blaming everyone else, society, his upbringing?

You know what?

I think he needs to take responsibility for what he's done.

What's up with him? Another New Year on his own?

That's no excuse for taking his frustrations out on Bobby.

The man's a thief. The sooner he's behind bars, the better.

Look on the bright side, at least he didn't break the cycle.

Where did you get this?

I know every tea merchant in Letherbridge.

Do you? Or do you just think you do?

I'm not sure I follow.

Perhaps if you'd been a little more appreciative of the pantomime,

then your hints wouldn't have been misinterpreted.

Still not with you.

Do you have any idea how hard Mandy worked on the pantomime?

Tremendously. Everybody did. But she worked harder than ANYONE.

Really? What's all this about?

She's furious.

Oh, I see!

Good!

Good!

Where did you get this tea?

When you've done what you need to do, I will.

All right, Bobby? Off to the bookie's?

No flies on you. I couldn't get you any help.

Don't beat yourself up.

But I did get you this. That's not the same one as earlier.

No. It's my dad's.

Doesn't he want it? Not any more.

Think of it as a retirement present. Right.

Cheers. You're welcome.

Chris.

Your change from earlier. The coffees.

Right. Thank you.

It hasn't got a lock?

I need a lock, if I'm going to leave it outside the bookmaker's.

You can't go to the bookmaker's, then, can you?

KNOCK AT DOOR

Lunching alone? With Rihanna. Oh, right.

I brought you a cup of Lapsang Souchong. I thought you'd run out.

Emma got me some. It's spectacular.

I know it's not your usual tipple,

but you didn't think you'd enjoy the pantomime, but when you did,

you were wonderful.

A little hesitant at first.

Not confident in your own ideas, but once we got you going...

gave you the creative input, your realisation was first rate.

You brought my dream to life.

You wouldn't even have had a production if it wasn't for me!

Well, I'm not sure that's true.

No-one else would have put up with you! I hardly think...

Heston, you were a nightmare!

I may have been a little overwrought, but wasn't it worth it?

Think of the reviews, the letter from the little boy.

No! Because it's like I had nothing to do with it!

You did! Yes, I know I did, but YOU have never said I did!

Not once! Not to anyone!

And that is vile!

What is going on?

Apparently, I didn't give her the credit she thinks she deserves.

Is that what she said? Yes.

Well, then, maybe you should.

MOBILE GAME BEEPS

If I could just have everyone's attention.

Karen, turn it off.

I'd like to say thank you to Mandy.

Mandy?

What's going on?

Without you, there would have been no pantomime.

The whole thing would have been impossible.

It just wouldn't have happened.

It probably would. I was a nightmare.

No, no, you weren't.

Who else would have put up with me?

But I would never have done anything like that.

You gave me confidence, creative input,

you trusted me to bring your dream to life.

Maybe I should come and live with you. Maybe you should.

I bet he doesn't wear dirty socks,

or watch the same stupid film over and over again,

wash up on a need-to-eat basis? Will you two stop it?

Will you stop telling me what to do? Karen,

you know you could come and live with me. Are you serious?

Please, say you're serious. You were going to before, weren't you?

I was, wasn't I? I don't know why I didn't.

You're the only person in this room who's not a snob,

a slob or drama queen!

This is going to be mental!

KAREN SQUEALS EXCITEDLY

Morrisons.

What?

Your Lapsang Souchong.

Oi!

How did you get in here? Stole another bike?

It was a present. Yeah, course it was.

Yeah, sorry about that.

Won't happen again.

How much has he taken?

Honestly, I knew I couldn't trust him.

I can't believe he'd do this. It's all here.

Then what was he doing here, then? How did he get in?

He's fixed it.

Dad?

Dad!

Christmas,

alcohol,

play-acting.

Any man would have come on to me.

So, now, can we please just forget about it and move on?

I don't know what you're talking about. Good.

So, you'd better tell Howard that you're feeling better. Zara?

Does...

Daniel know?

Absolutely not.

If I had to tell Daniel every time a man came on to me...

Imagine! Yeah, imagine.

Sorry. Nothing happened.

Nothing happened.

We OK?

Yeah, we're absolutely fine.

Good.

This rally might be the last chance for Churchill.

People here are angry.

'The people of the Churchill Estate have had enough.

'It's time to fight back.

'Check your messages, check your e-mails for the information.

'Soon you'll find out where to go and what to do.

'We're going to burn Letherbridge to the ground.'