Idol Hands Doctors

Mr Bellamy, have you seen this?

What?

Sergeant Hollins is to receive an award for bravery! How wonderful!

Is it?

Of course, you were there.

Well, to be honest, it was very difficult to see anything.

But surely a military man such as yourself...

I didn't see anything, OK?

Of course.

But, you must be very proud - the whole station must be proud,

and young Imogen and Jack...

Must be getting on.

-I've got an appointment with Dr Carter.

-Jenny Ashbridge?

-Yes.

-And what's your date of birth, please?

-Oh. It's the 25th...

-What's that?

Let me see!

I knew it! Freddie Hands!

Are you going?

Me too! I am his biggest fan.

He's great, isn't he? So funny.

And charming. And kind.

And handsome!

Yeah.

I used to love that television programme he did - Hands On.

Really brought out his caring side.

Those poor people.

Just goes to show,

-you can never tell what people are going through, can you?

-No.

Well, as someone said to me, it's so important to be understanding,

-and not just judging, you know?

-Yeah.

-Did you know he's from Letherbridge?

-Yeah, he went to my old school.

Not while I was there.

I actually met him. In person. He came to visit me in hospital.

-Really?

-Of course!

I'd just had my appendix out, and Freddie came round the ward

and made us all smile. We got on like a house on fire!

He even gave me a little present!

Jenny Ashbridge? >

Complaints about timekeeping -

you know they're up 20% over the last six months?

Really?

Yes. So I thought we'd have a bit of a crackdown.

I beg your pardon?

-DOOR OPENS

-This!

This is exactly the sort of thing I was talking about.

What?

You were due in at...12 o'clock.

I know. It took ages getting Joe to bed last night

after what happened to Daniel. And the child-minder...

This is precisely the sort of sloppy time-keeping that is

damaging our throughput and reputation.

Howard, I'm five minutes late. And what's "throughput" anyway?

Five minutes for the first appointment means 12 minutes

for the second appointment, in my experience.

Howard. It's five minutes!

Well, if it's such a trivial amount of time,

you won't mind staying five minutes after work to make it up.

My child-minder charges by the minute if I'm late for her.

It takes as long as it takes.

How can I possibly run this place if the partners can't show up on time?!

Mr Bellamy, just think about what she and Dr Granger

went through yesterday.

Mm. Fair enough. Still...

That's quite normal for someone coming off a long-term addiction.

Can you...

Is there anything you can give me?

How long have you been clean? Completely clean.

65 days now.

Feels like for ever.

-I need you to be honest with me, Jenny.

-I am.

I swear, I'm not going to mess it up again.

I want Tru back.

That's going to take time.

She should be with her mum.

The social services need to be sure that you are ready to care for her.

Do you feel ready?

I don't know.

-I can give you something to help you sleep.

-Thank you.

Are you still talking to someone?

I'm going to this talk today.

I mean...he does a lot to help the people on his TV shows.

Thought he might be able to give me some encouragement.

And, you know, there'll be others there, won't there? People like me.

Try and avoid anyone who might lead you astray.

Problem, Mrs Tembe?

A green file, I am sure it was here.

You mean, this green file? I tidied it away.

I understand your concerns, Mr Bellamy, but...

Standards have to improve, Mrs Tembe.

The doctors are not keeping to their allotted times.

I am sure they are working as hard as they can.

From now on, I am going to keep a tally

on every individual member of staff.

Pretend I'm not here.

Wait!

-I'm coming with you.

-What?

You're going to Freddie's talk, aren't you?

-Yes, but...

-We should go together! I can introduce you to him.

I've got to pick up my prescription.

Oh, there's a pharmacy on campus, I can show you!

We don't want to miss the pre-show book signing!

Everyone here?

Hi, how you doing?

Er, how long do these things usually last?

Depends on the members, really.

How many turn up, how chatty they're feeling.

Whether they stay for coffee afterwards.

Just, I've got a busy schedule today, so...

Not a problem. What is it you do?

Sorry, you don't have to answer that.

Even coming to one of these support groups is a big step for some people,

-so good on you.

-Thanks. Um...

-Yeah, yeah.

All right, bab, ta-ra!

Oh, Freddie!

Freddie, how are you?

I'm very well, how are you?

I'm very well. Appendix is all sorted.

Glad to hear it.

Hello, bab.

Well, you came prepared!

It's me, Valerie!

-And is this beautiful young lady your daughter?

-Of course not!

Er, Jenny.

Very pleased to meet you, Jenny.

And you've got a book for me to sign?

Are you coming to the talk?

Could you sign this one to me?

Write, "To my favourite Letherbridge patient".

Sure.

-What's the name again?

-It's me, Valerie!

To Valerie.

Tell me you're coming to the talk.

Definitely. Looking forward to it.

I hope it can give me some encouragement, if I'm honest.

-Why's that?

-Could you sign this one to Ashley? He's my boyfriend.

Jenny, I swear that we've met before. Are you local?

I went to your old school. But that was after you left.

You went to Greenbrooks? You're joking!

I've still got that lovely mug you gave me.

Oh, look, we're right out of time.

-Jenny...

-I actually brought it with me.

Jenny, I'll see you at the talk?

Shouldn't you be on a break, Mrs Tembe?

Yes, I should.

But I thought it best to use the time to bring some order

to this place.

Well, you have been working quite hard. You deserve a break.

-Are you certain?

-Absolutely certain. Off you go.

Well...

If you are sure. Thank you, Mr Bellamy.

..and, as I look back on all those damaged people,

those lost people struggling to get through life, I believe...

Well, I hope that somehow I have managed to make a little

difference in their lives...

..if only for a moment.

APPLAUSE

Now, I want to hear a bit from you. Any questions?

Yes, this lovely lady at the front.

Hi, Freddie!

My question is, when you came to visit me in hospital...

Sorry, I meant this young lady here.

Oh, I wasn't...

No, it was me. My hand!

-I think you had a question, didn't you, love?

-Do you?

-No.

-See? It was me.

I would like to ask you about your work with...

-Did you have a question?

-I was just trying to say...

I'm not talking to you. I'm trying to talk to her.

Yes, Freddie, but she doesn't have a question and I do.

So, when you came to see me,

I was wondering if you've ever thought about working with

people with learning difficulties.

I thought it was really interesting the techniques you used to...

Oh, hello.

Tony's going to show you something outside, love.

Oh, right.

Is this a special prize or something, Freddie?

TITTERS

Just a bit of flavour from the show here, folks -

you all recognise Big Tony, don't you?

APPLAUSE

This is what we do with unwanted guests!

Sorry, am I...?

But I can come back in again, though, can't I?

-All right?

-Very well, thank you.

-What time does your lunch break finish?

-Half two.

Back to work then.

That says 20 past.

Must be slow. Off you pop!

Good lad.

Hello, bab.

Mr Hands.

Mr Hands? That's my dad, love - you call me Freddie, all right?

Did you enjoy the talk?

It was great. Really inspiring.

Well, well done you for sharing a bit of your story with everyone.

Not a dry eye in the house.

It's just good to talk to people who understand.

You know, I'd love to hear more, if you've got the time?

I don't know...

VIP backstage tour? I'm joking, it's a ruddy lecture hall!

But come and have a cup of tea. Why not?

-Busy, Mrs Tembe?

-This is madness!

My lunch break flew by

and every single patient has turned up late for their appointments.

Well, as long as you are doing your best.

Is Mrs Richards not here yet?

-No.

-Oh, for goodness' sake.

-Glad to see you working hard, Zara!

Keep this up and you might even avoid

-the five-minute penalty at the end of the day.

-Back off, Howard.

How are we supposed to work to time if our patients aren't even here?

-Mrs Richards, there you are!

-Dr Haskey.

Why, when everyone else is running around this place

trying to keep it on the clock,

do you think it's fine to stroll in five minutes after lunch?

What are you chatting about, Howard? I'm early.

Really? Have a look.

-And you, Dr Tyler!

-Me too what?

-Five minutes late!

-Really?

Er, nope. Five minutes early, Howard.

-It must be slow.

-Um, no.

This bad boy is updated every second, via satellite,

from the atomic clock underneath the National Physics Laboratory.

Send Mr Phillips in when he arrives. Thank you, Mrs Tembe.

National Physics Laboratory!

Yes, like I said,

it's a privilege, but also it's a responsibility

when you mean so much to so many people.

I sometimes think, "I wish there were two of me, I could do so much."

-Will you excuse me for a second?

-Oh, of course, love.

All clear.

Freddie, what are you...?

No, no, I know. It's nothing like that, promise!

Freddie...

This isn't anything seedy, it's just great to get a bit of privacy.

So we can talk properly.

You don't know what it's like being hounded all the time.

Well, at least it's clean in here.

Freddie...

No, don't judge me, Jenny. It just helps me deal with things.

Everyone wanting a piece of me all the time.

Freddie, no...

Just a little boost to get me through the day.

Honestly, don't think I'd cope without a little sniff now and then.

-I know you understand.

-Yes, but...

You don't know how much that means to me, Jenny.

No-one else understands, do they? No-one wants to listen.

Do you fancy a little line?

Freddie, I can't...

-Oh, come on.

-I don't know.

It's not like what you're used to. This is very expensive.

It's high quality. Zero side effects. Non-addictive. Promise.

It's just a buzz.

A little buzz to make you feel better.

HE SNIFFS

Jimmi, we haven't heard from you yet.

How long have you been a sufferer?

Well, since I was a kid.

I've never been to a group therapy session before, so...

Well, seeking help is a good thing.

No, I've had therapy.

Just...never felt like the group thing was for me.

So, what changed?

It's...from scrubbing. That's how I...

Things have been a bit stressful recently.

Thought I had it under control.

But something happened?

Do you feel comfortable elaborating a bit?

FREDDIE CHUCKLES

Helloooo? Sorry to interrupt, Freddie!

What the hell are you doing in here?

I made you a coffee! In your mug.

-You mad cow!

-TOILET FLUSHES

-It's me, Valerie.

-Valerie?

-Jenny! What are you...

-Valerie, it's not...

I didn't touch her.

You've been taking drugs?! Jenny?

Jenny!

What did you do to her?

Nothing.

With Christmas coming up, I thought I'd try dating again.

That didn't go well.

Then I ended up in a panto.

A panto?

Yeah. Playing an ugly sister.

Can't really do Cinderella looking like this.

Well, that sounds all positive, right?

What set you on the downward spiral?

I tried...

..with...

..Prince Charming.

And she...didn't...

That didn't go really well.

And...?

What do you think happened?

All the stuff I'd been keeping a lid on just exploded.

I can't function, can't do my job. My life's a mess.

Thought I had a handle on it. But it's like a...

..house of cards. One mistake and it just falls apart.

Exciting though.

Doesn't it feel more alive when you've got the lid off?

Jenny.

I'm so sorry.

Sorry? What are you sorry about?

I'm such an idiot.

You don't think I was angry at you, do you?

It's him who should be ashamed.

Getting a young girl involved in something like that.

-It's outrageous!

-I'm already involved!

-What?

I've tried so hard to stay clean.

Oh, Jenny. I had no idea.

I only wanted to talk. I thought he understood.

You know, I always suspected he was a bit of a creep.

I didn't have any. I promise.

-Don't tell anyone.

-Why on earth would I tell anyone?

I don't want to lose her!

It's not really about feeling alive, it's about whether I can do my job.

-But what if you could cure yourself?

-OCD can't be cured. Treated, yeah.

I think it can.

NHS Choices says it can.

Yeah, the NHS...

Jimmi?

Oh, no, I don't mean...

I just don't necessarily think that everything the NHS does is right.

You can get homeopathy on the NHS. You really think that works?

Don't knock it till you try it.

That's what she looks like now,

but I don't get to see her as much.

-She's beautiful.

-Yeah.

-It's my fault.

-No.

It is. I was stupid.

I wasn't really ready to be a mum.

At least she's safe.

But I just...

I want to be there when she takes her first step.

Says her first word.

She needs her mum. She needs me to be better.

If I can just stay clean, get my own place, I can then show them

I can do it.

But one little mistake, and it all falls apart.

I'm so sorry, I had no idea.

I'll have you arrested, you mad cow!

-Me?

-You assaulted me with boiling coffee.

It wasn't boiling, it was lukewarm!

I'm calling the police.

If you do, I'll tell them you offered me coke.

Your word against mine, sweetheart.

I'm a witness.

A crazy one!

You don't think I've got a team of lawyers ready to squash

little people like you?

Really? You want the whole world to know that you offered me drugs

in a women's toilet?

They won't believe you.

-We'll see.

-I'll call the papers.

I've got friends in high places. I know loads of journalists.

-No, you don't.

-Yeah, I do.

I work with Chase Torrent

and Allegra Diemme - they're investigative reporters.

-They could do an interview, Jenny.

-Really?

-She's very photogenic.

Look, just...

We'll say no more about it.

It's just a silly mix up.

You might want to wipe your nose, too.

I scare myself.

Can you explain?

I wouldn't dream of hurting anybody,

but I can't stop having these thoughts.

Like, today, when people were speaking, I was scared to

open my mouth in case I made fun of them.

-And now? Are you having any of those thoughts?

-Yes.

I'm worried I might go home and write an anonymous letter about you.

About me?

Accuse you of doing something terrible. Destroy your reputation.

But I don't really want that.

I don't ever want to hurt people.

So what do you do?

It used to get so bad I had to lock myself in my room, tie my hands up.

But I think I've found a cure.

Would you mind telling us?

I'm still experimenting at the moment.

Taking less of my meds and finding new ways.

That sounds positive - but I would like to say that anyone who does

find taking medication helpful

shouldn't feel tempted to stop taking it.

But this is better. I can beat this once and for all.

Chase Torrent and Olivia... What was it?!

Anagrams - two of the doctors here used to write restaurant reviews,

then they got scared and pulled out. So I wasn't completely lying.

His face, though.

It's sad, in a way.

They do say don't meet your idols, don't they?

Have you still got that mug?

Er, yes. Why?

Can I have it?

If you really want it. I certainly don't.

He's not that handsome, really, is he?

-I'll get a broom.

-Thanks, Valerie.

-It's no trouble.

-No, I mean...for listening.

Oh, well...

What have I said?

No, it's just, yesterday someone had a go at me

for jumping to conclusions and not listening properly

and being stupid. Sorry!

You've been brilliant with me today.

And seeing off Freddie Hands like that.

You shouldn't take any notice.

You're very kind. But ignore me, what about you?

I think I'm ready.

Ready for what?

To try and be a mum again.

Tembe, it's a waste of time.

Well done, everybody.

-What?

-I've been monitoring you all throughout the day.

We'd never have guessed(!)

And I am pleased to report that throughput is up 10%.

15 for some people - Zara.

-Wow.

-15(!)

He's joking. I was behind all day!

Well, certainly this morning, time-keeping was appalling.

But after lunch I am pleased to say things improved dramatically.

And do you know why?

Something to do with throughput?

Mr Bellamy, what are you doing?

Correcting the clock.

Why?

Because after lunch, I moved the clock forward.

As I did with every other clock in the building,

including the computers.

-You hacked in to the system? Very impressive.

-Told you.

I'm sorry, has the world gone mad?

Certainly not. I knew you could all go faster when pushed.

How dare you? I am a partner.

How dare you treat me like some sort of naughty schoolgirl?

-Now, Zara...

-Do you realise what Daniel went through yesterday?

What I went through?

Neither he nor I nor Joe have slept a wink,

he's going back to his therapist because of what that maniac did

and I am beside myself with worry.

And yet you choose today of all days to play petty mind games with us?!

Yes. Well, that was pointed out to me, but...

But? No, no buts!

For someone who prides themselves on procedure and organisation,

this was the most childish

and crass thing you could possibly do at the worst possible time.

As if we don't all work hard enough,

as if we don't all go through it every single day,

there you are, looming round corners with your shiny shoes

and your ridiculous hair.

OK, thanks for today, everyone, see you all again next week.

I just wanted to say well done. You did great work today.

-Very honest.

-Thank you.

-So, are you glad you came?

Um...

Yeah.

-Where is she?!

-I'm not getting married like this.

-Why won't you tell me?

-It's not as bad as you think.

I wouldn't marry Frankenstein looking like this.

I can't breathe.

Do not fret, everything is coming together.

OK. Hi.

Anything for you.

(Because you're worth it.)