Must Edit Filth Doctors

Hello.

She's not there.

She's at mine.

HE SINGS

Thought I'd better scrub up.

She's in there.

You'll...want to spend some time.

SHE SIGHS

Auntie Flo...

SHE GASPS

What's up, love?

That is not the way I showed you.

I thought I'd try something new. Surnames first...see?

Do not confuse the system. Just keep it simple.

It's pretty simple.

Exactly. And that is why it works.

All right, I'll put it all back.

-Thank you.

-Look at this.

Three beautiful, talented women working in perfect harmony.

Dr Clay!

How lucky are we, eh?

You know, he is right. We are very lucky.

We are like one big happy family, are we not?

Yeah...until your family decides to cast you out

and leave you to the mercy of wolves.

Only joking!

I love it here.

Love it.

You told me she was dead!

I flew in from goddamn America!

She said she was going to die.

-She didn't want you to miss it.

-What?!

I did think it was today, love.

I don't understand. Why are you even here?

The council wanted to put her into a nursing home,

but she didn't want to go,

so I said she could stay here until she, er...you know, died.

I don't believe this.

Nurses help...

Flo - look around! This is disgusting.

There's papers and dirt and garbage everywhere.

It's no wonder you're dying!

Must edit filth.

Four.

SHE COUGHS AND LAUGHS

No! She's not dead! I'm coming home.

Honey, I'm not staying here a minute longer.

I need to get back.

The office needs me more than she does...

Excuse me, who are you?

Er... Mandy?

Please tell me you're a nurse?

Well, I am, actually, yeah.

Right. OK. Go in.

Go on!

What?

No, a nurse! At last - a professional.

Seems a bit slow for my money, though.

Robust fight.

-Strong.

-KNOCK AT DOOR

All right, trouble?

Oh, hello, love.

Thanks for coming...

Don't be daft. All right, Cyril?

Yeah, lovely, thanks. Here.

Thank you.

Hiya. You all right? It's nice to see you.

Making tea.

Or would you prefer H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O?

What?

H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O.

Five. Not too difficult...

Every flippin' time! I haven't got a clue.

Flo?

Water.

Water?!

H...I...J...

Ohhh, H2O!

That's a good one. I'll have a tea, please, smarty-pants.

And I will expect a biscuit.

THEY LAUGH

Did you bring it?

Mm-hm.

Have you finished? Cos I need to print out a CV.

No. It's all yours. I've had enough.

The excitement's killing me.

Thanks.

-CV?

-Sorry?

Did you say "CV"?

Oh, yes. Sorry. I know I shouldn't be doing it at work.

It's just that I've registered with some agencies

and I've already had several very keen responses.

You don't mind, do you?

-Of course not.

-Good.

It would seem I am mucho in demando!

SHE CHUCKLES

What are you doing?

Er...knitting?

I can see that! I thought you said you were a nurse?

Yeah, I am. But not Flo's.

I'm Flo's friend.

-Her friend?

-Yeah. Mandy Marquez.

Nice to meet you.

Sorry. I thought...I'm...

Yeah, Brook, I know. Flo said.

Flo's niece.

We know each other from craft group.

I just pop in to make sure she doesn't fall behind.

-Some chance!

-She is useless.

That's nice.

Here we go.

Bourbons as well.

Oh, ta, Cyril.

I'll pass.

Must edit filth. Four.

Again with that. What does that mean?!

Must edit filth! Four.

I have no idea what you're talking about!

An anagram of "filth" derived from "must" is "smut".

You have a smut of dirt at the end of your nose.

Just there.

FLO AND MANDY LAUGH

Oh, thanks a bunch(!)

Are you OK?

Yes.

No. No.

No, actually, no, I'm not OK.

I can't stand this.

Sit down. Do the crossword with us.

I don't want to do a crossword! I hate crosswords!

Sorry. Look, I'm obviously not coping well with this...situation.

I don't want you here. Let me take you home,

or better yet, let me take you to a nursing home.

I'll pay, they'll look after you. It'll be better than this.

I like it here.

Besides, it's not my decision.

Cyril has power of attorney.

What?!

I signed my decisions over to Cyril.

Are you crazy? Whose idea was this?

Yours, I suppose!

No.

Jimmi's.

Who the hell is Jimmi?!

SHE COUGHS

-Are you all right?

-Yes, why?

You just seem a bit off.

"Off"?

Yes...?

Erm...well, before, you said you love it here.

Then you said you were getting another job.

I just don't get it. If you love it, and you're good at it, why leave?

Why indeed.

I don't know, Karen!

Sometimes you've just got to make the break.

-Break?

-Yeah. Do your own thing, you know?

I wish I could make the break.

What?

Well, I never thought that I'd be a receptionist.

No?

(No.)

I've been told it's for the kids, because it's flexible hours,

blah, blah, blah... but it's so boring!

-Sorry...I don't mean...

-Doesn't matter. Go on.

To be honest, I hate it. It's not me.

And the worst thing is I've got to learn how to do it all over again.

And again. And again.

So what did you used to dream about?

SHE MUMBLES INAUDIBLY

Aw, please.

It's silly - and Mandy's already said that a career change

at my age is ridiculous...

Fashion.

Fashion?

I think that is a brilliant idea!

I don't know what your so-called Dr Jimmi Clay is playing at,

or what sort of half-assed business you run, but know this -

'I am taking him, and you, to court for neglect and malpractice

'and I hope you have some serious assets,

'because I intend to sue the pants off you!'

I'd like to take this call in my office, please.

Could I just put you on hold for a second?

-'What?!'

-Just for a second.

PHONE LINE BEEPS

Ohhh!

It's a way of expressing yourself, your dreams.

My dreams?

Yeah, it's called a mood board. Everyone is doing it nowadays.

I'm going to use one for all my interviews.

Like a collage?

Yes. But better.

It's an expression of you, your soul.

It's the perfect creative medium for somebody trying to get into fashion.

You can show the world who you really are.

-Sued?

-Yes, but it's not as bad as it sounds.

I mean, yes, she is an attorney,

for what is admittedly

quite a large and successful New York law firm.

And yes, she does want to sue you.

But she wants to sue me as well.

So we're in it together!

We've been here before.

And remember, she's just another relative

looking out for an elderly member of the family.

-But no-one's ever wanted to sue me before!

-No?

Now, Mrs Banning described her aunt as having been

"taken advantage of" and "vulnerable".

Would you say that Mrs Wilmore was vulnerable?

-Yeah. That's why I suggested power of attorney.

-Oh.

What?

We'll get through this.

Sued, though!

Yeah, well, there'll be an investigation first.

An investigation! I was having such a good day....

But you still are!

The Mill will be right behind you - will be right behind US.

Believe me, we'll nip this in the bud.

Mark my words.

Right.

Flo wants you.

She's where she wants to be, you know?

It's true, she's happy.

She's got her best friend looking after her.

And Dr Clay is a good doctor.

He's organised it so she gets three home visits a day by nurses.

How would you know that?

Because I work with him.

Ah, that explains it.

Where I come from, this is coercion.

I'm not coercing anybody.

Flo just asked me to tell you that Cyril has got a picnic lunch

for us all and she'd love you to be there.

So come or don't - your choice.

KNOCK AT DOOR

-Come on in, Mr Williams.

-Grab a seat. Thank you.

Sorry, just... just have to wash my hands.

Hello, love. Are you hungry?

-I'm...

-Thirsty?

No! No, I don't want that.

-What is wrong with you?

-Love?

This isn't good enough.

You shouldn't be treated like this. You need proper food.

Balanced food!

This isn't balanced food. I don't even know what this is.

-It's a doner.

-Means nothing. Tell me, why is she eating it?

Because she ordered it.

This one's hers. Extra chilli sauce.

Why the hell am I here? Tell me!

I left my husband and my kids at home.

I love you, but you don't seem that ill to me.

There's good days, and bad days.

Well, make up your mind - are you dying or not?!

SHE COUGHS

Hey, I'm not feeling too good,

do you think someone could cover for me?

Of course. What's wrong?

Just not on it, you know?

Do you want to see Heston?

-No.

-Emma?

-No.

-Daniel?

-No!

Sorry. I just ...

I probably just need to wash my hands!

What do you mean?

Don't worry.

-'Hello?'

-Help me.

What are you doing?

I've ordered a cab.

You're going?

She's better off without me.

That's the most sensible thing you've said since you got here.

Excuse me?!

Don't come all indignant with me,

you haven't earned the right.

And for your information - yes.

'Yes' what?

Yes, Flo has terminal cancer.

And yes, she has respiratory disease.

And yes, she has an acute chest infection.

So, yes, Flo is dying!

And, in my opinion, she is better off without you

because your attitude is not helping.

So, go on, go - run home.

I care.

I know it seems I don't, but I care.

This is the third time I've flown in to see her this year.

I care.

I really thought she was dead this time.

If you care, then show her.

I don't know how.

My mom always described Flo as her best friend.

"Kitty and Flo - the indubitable duo",

their dad used to call them.

My mom brought me up in America.

I never really had any connection with Flo.

My youngest daughter has never even met her.

She's a world apart from my life.

Well, from here, it looks like the connection's clear.

Not to me.

Your mum.

It's why Flo keeps calling and why you keep coming.

You're as much a connection to her sister

as she is a connection to your mum.

It's locked, but he's got to be in there.

Thanks.

I thought we'd already had a shower?

This is your fault!

I'm a douche. I'm real sorry, Auntie Flo.

Take this.

-I don't understand...

-Take it...

..outside.

-Outside?

-Uh-huh.

Now what?

Light up.

-What?

-A fag.

No way!

Forget about it, it's not happening.

Kitty...

-Mom?

-..loved to smoke.

She did not!

Did.

She hated smokers.

She spent her whole life warning me off it.

I don't believe you.

Kitty was a hypocrite who died of lung cancer!

Light up.

-Blow it to me.

-What?

Blow.

SHE COUGHS

I love that.

You're crazy.

SHE LAUGHS

Give up. It'll kill you.

This has never happened before, ever! This is you, this is all you.

-Come off it. You were crazy before you met me.

-No, not like this!

I've never reacted to a patient complaint like this before.

This is not me. All I can think about is your new technique

and it's making me worse, and then I start worrying...

It's a vicious cycle - and I start worrying some more....and...

Shut up!

This is not all about you, you know!

My job starts in half an hour and I'm listening to my boyfriend

flip out about something really quite minor.

Oh, minor? I'm being sued!

So flippin' what?! You're a doctor.

It's part and parcel, isn't it? Get over it.

That's easy for you to say.

My patient's niece is a big shot American lawyer...

"Big shot American lawyer..." That's her problem, not yours!

Oh, look.

There is somebody in there.

Hello?

Stop it!

Better?

Good.

In your heart of hearts, have you done anything to harm this patient?

No! I just wanted her to end her days at a place that she knew,

surrounded by people that loved her.

Well, then, Miss Big Shot American Lawyer

can blow it up her wazamaroo.

You've done nothing wrong.

-Thank you.

-Pleasure.

Now I've got a spare 10 minutes.

You're half dressed.

And I'm becoming hot and bothered.

The question is, are you willing to get grubby?

BROOK AND FLO LAUGH

You are so like your mother.

We're not!

Exactly the same.

Why didn't anybody tell me?

Because you wouldn't have listened. You're obstinate like her as well.

What else?

Your obsession with cleanliness.

I know, I know.

Kitty and I went to the same school, a Catholic school.

St Claud's, run by uptight nuns.

Kitty got into trouble over something - probably a boy!

Mom?

The Mother Superior, in front of the whole school mind,

told Kitty to kneel down and kiss the floor

to ask for God's forgiveness.

Kitty looked at the floor and said,

very politely, that she was sorry,

but she was not prepared to kiss anything that people had walked on -

nuns or not!

Oh, I can so see it! Oh, Mom....

Here's a thing. When we were little,

my brother and I would go trick or treating -

-you know what that is?

-Halloween.

-That's right.

We were sent out in these perfect little costumes.

I mean, pressed and everything.

And every year, Mom would say exactly the same thing.

she'd look at us all serious and warn us

not to eat any of the candy, because we didn't know where they'd been!

THEY LAUGH

Oh, Kitty!

Let me get your oxygen.

(I'm fine.)

Who's obstinate now?

The thing about trick and treating

was that when we brought back our candy in our little bags,

Mom would immediately take them from us

and present us with an identical pair of goody bags...

MUSIC: "This Woman's Work" by Kate Bush

# Pray God you can cope

# I stand outside

# This woman's work

# This woman's world

# Oh, it's hard on the man

# Now his part is over

# Now starts the craft of the father

# I know you have a little life in you yet

# I know you have a lot of strength left

# I know you have a little life in you yet

# I know you have a lot of strength left

# I should be crying, but I just can't let it show

# I should be hoping, but I can't stop thinking

# Of all the things I should've said that I never said

# All the things we should've done... #

She had an amazing last day.

-You think?

-Mm-hm. She had her favourite meal,

she learnt to knit Fair Isle, which is no mean feat.

She was at her best friend's house.

But most importantly... she was with you.

I suppose it was pretty good.

It couldn't have been much better.

Actually, it could have...

she could have finished the crossword.

Bye.

Everything?

That's right. I'm dropping it.

'My apologies to Dr Clay for any inconvenience.'

He'll be delighted.

At the risk of sounding crazy,

I think Flo would have liked Dr Clay to certify her death.

What do you think?

I think it won't be a problem, and he'll be there as soon as he can.

No hurry.

We got something to finish.

KNOCK AT DOOR

Good news.

-What?

-We're in the clear.

It's...perfect.

Really?

Absolutely, it really captures...you.

Thank you, thank you so much,

I worked really hard on it.

I can tell, it shows.

Everybody else has been dismissive

but you've been really supportive. It means a lot.

It's nothing, I mean, you've obviously got talent.

Look, I could help you do some research,

if you'd like, into entry level fashion jobs?

Do you think I've got what it takes?

I'm a firm believer that if you want something badly enough,

you find a way of going out and grabbing it, no matter what.

Lack of appetite, lethargy.

Where exactly did you conduct this research?

On the internet.

Ego's taken a bit of a bruising, has it? All the extra hours

you've put in here, waiting for the right time to ask me out,

and it's all come to nothing.

Come for dinner. I'd like you to get to know her.

Is there any point? Is she going to be around that long?

Mate, you're about to kick him in the teeth,

and you can't even be bothered to talk to him?