Two Four Doctors

# No sunshine when she's gone

# It's not warm when she's away

# Ain't no sunshine when she's gone

# And she's always gone too long

# Any time she goes away

# Wonder this time where she's gone

# Wonder if she's gone to stay... #

I need to see Dr Haskey. It's an emergency.

An emergency?

Yes.

-Sounds worrying.

-It is.

It's not going to affect tonight, is it?

That's what I wanted to talk to you about.

Oh, hi. It's me again.

Could you give me a bell back when you get this? Bye.

How was last night? Aunt Ag?

Um...

You were back late.

No, I stopped in. Had an early night.

Right. OK.

Hello, is Sergeant Hollins there, please?

Can I ask who's calling?

It's Karen, his wife.

Oh, hello, Karen, love.

Just looking for him.

It's Brian, by the way. We always got on really well.

Hi, Brian.

How are you?

Good, yeah.

Is he there?

Hold on, love.

Can I get him to call you back?

Oh, OK. Thank you.

You're welcome. Bye.

Rob?!

Anti-inflammatories for immediate relief and steroids short term.

Aren't anti-inflammatories bad for your stomach?

Bit of indigestion sometimes.

And steroids have side effects?

Not at this dosage. You'll be fine.

I still think I should cancel.

Don't be ridiculous. It's your big night.

-But my fingers!

-You'll be great.

-I haven't practised.

-Raw talent doesn't need to practise.

What if I'm not ready?

You'll be ready. You'll have to be.

If not, you'll be letting the singers down,

you're going to be letting Shawna down,

worst of all, you'll be letting yourself down.

I haven't played in a fortnight.

-So?

-I have to practise.

All right, then, practise!

-My piano's not in tune.

-Not a problem.

Not a problem at all.

Anybody want anything from the outside world?

-No, thanks.

-You know what? I would love a cheese and onion...

Sandwich?

Thanks, anyway.

-See you.

-See you.

I just thought it would be nice for us to eat together...

OK.

..since we missed each other at breakfast...again!

Chris, you don't just get over it.

I'm not doing this.

I'm just saying.

Doesn't she deserve the truth?

I wish I'd not told you now.

If you two are going to be OK, this is just the start.

Thank you, Claire Rayner(!)

It'll get harder before it gets easier.

And what if I tell her and she can't deal with it?

That's a chance you've got to take.

Slow down, you maniac.

I'd be better off driving myself.

That's highly insulting, Terry.

It's meant to be.

So, you got all your stuff?

Stuff?

You know, your...what are they called? Ping!

-My tuning fork?

-Yeah. Or is it all electronic now?

No, no, no, it's all in here.

Hammer, lever, fork and mutes.

Use the hammer to tune the pins.

Mute the strings not being tuned.

Papps mute sometimes in an upright

because it slides between the hammer shanks.

You're going to love John.

He moved here about six months ago,

about the same time I started going to the Lamb.

I'm not going to the Lamb.

I'm not going to ask you to.

Good, because I wouldn't go.

I can't see why not, though. The beer's better.

-The atmosphere.

-I've stopped drinking, haven't I?

The atmosphere's rubbish in all pubs since they banned smoking.

So why do you go to, where is it you go to, the Prince?

That's different. I like the company there.

If it's company you're after, then come to the Lamb!

Shawna is lovely.

She has got the voice of an angel.

Yeah, yeah, and she plays a great piano too.

Really? I've never seen her play.

Anyway, who needs some brassy brunette giving them a hard time?

Shawna's not a brunette.

She was six months ago.

Right.

Very nice.

Made for sharing.

Are you all right?

Yeah. I came off my bike.

You want me to have a look?

Nah, it's all right, it's just my lower back, L4 and 5.

Bit of bruising. I've put a bandage round it.

You landed on your back?

Yeah.

It's normally collarbones or wrists with cyclists.

Not with me, mate. Up in the air.

Flat on my back.

Come on - get up, let me have a look, walk about.

-Oh! Chris, are you sure that's just bruising?

-Yeah.

You might have slipped a disc.

Mand, I am absolutely fine.

Maybe you should see a chiropractor.

Yeah, Mum'd love that.

Why do doctors feel so threatened by them, eh?

They don't like them treading on their toes.

You'd have to get a chiropractor to snap them back into place.

That's awful!

You didn't have any lunch.

Yeah, no, I... Mandy shared hers with me.

Would you excuse us a minute?

Thanks.

Look, I don't know how you feel, but I feel terrible.

Much worse than I thought.

Mum...

I just need someone to talk to.

I don't.

But you must...

No, I don't.

Chris, I...

Mum, Dad is never coming back,.

and this isn't helping anyone.

I've been like this since the anniversary.

Why didn't you tell me?

How could I? I've barely seen you.

Well, I'm here now.

-What's that?

-It's nothing.

-That feels like a bandage.

-I'm fine. It's nothing, honestly.

Not interrupting, am I?

Well, actually...

Er, not at all. What can I do for you?

So, how are the fingers feeling?

Bit better.

See, I told you the anti-inflammatories would work.

Doctor knows best. I'll leave you to it.

John, meet Terry. Terry, John. Lamb, meet Prince. Prince, meet Lamb.

It's nice of you to come at such short notice.

Not really. You're paying me.

Still...

You going to play something so I can hear what the piano's like?

The thing is, my fingers...I've got arthritis.

I thought Al said they were OK.

They're still very sore.

-So where's the piano, then?

-Oh.

Not that bad, then, are they?

Do you fancy a second lunch?

Oh, yeah - great!

You can tell me what Auntie Ag meant.

It's hardly out of tune.

Still, why should someone who drinks at The Lamb

-have any sort of judgment?

-Excuse me?

-The beer's terrible.

-I think the beer's very good.

-Not when I drank it.

-You think it's better at the Prince?

What? You're saying it's not?

I don't know. I've never been.

Well, maybe you should try it.

Well, maybe I will.

Nah. I don't think so.

What?

I think you're scared of doing anything, trying anything.

Why else are you pretending your piano's out of tune,

your fingers are too painful?

Why else won't you play?

I haven't practised.

Well, go on, then.

Now?

I'll tell you how you're getting on.

You know you'll get an honest opinion.

Where's the sofa?

It's here.

Very nice. Comfortable.

Are you really saying if I stripped off, you'd decline my custom?

Usual?

No. I'm nursing my instrument for tonight's performance.

I'll take a ginger cordial with a spoonful of honey, please.

I can do you a St Clements.

No, on second thoughts, I'll have a guest ale.

I'll have to change the barrel.

-Can I do it?

-Yeah.

-No sooner said!

And a St Clements for yourself.

You know the way to my heart.

How's the old hand?

Still hurts.

Let me have a look?

I don't like people looking at it.

People?

I've got letters after my name which distinguishes me from normal people.

Remind me again, how long ago did it happen?

About six months ago.

-Have you been back to the hospital?

-No.

Shame you can't play the piano tonight.

In case something goes wrong.

-What?

-Play the piano... tinkle the old ivories?

John's playing the piano.

Yeah. Yeah. And there's always singing, isn't there?

# And I know, I know, I know I know, I know, I know, I know. #

-Not bad.

-Not bad?

It's going to be the performance of a lifetime, Shawna.

-Of a lifetime.

-Right.

We just have to wait for the other two tenors, then.

-Which one am I?

-Don't worry. Not the dead one.

Stop being so sensitive.

I'm not.

Which is more than I can say for some people.

PIANO PLAYS

Well, that might pass at The Lamb, but it won't wash in the Prince,

where the piano's perfectly in tune, by the way.

Do you think you could do better?

Don't know it, do I?

Or maybe you're just scared?

Get off the stool.

What?

You're sitting on the piano stool?

Yes.

Get off.

Now, show me over to it.

HE BEGINS PLAYING

I thought you said you didn't know it!

I don't. I'm just talented.

If you say so yourself(!)

Maybe I should play instead of you.

Fine. Come to the Lamb.

Thought not.

Don't you turn this around on me.

Stop feeling sorry for yourself and play!

Oh, I'm picking up an atmosphere!

I think you'd better leave.

I think so, too.

Artistic temperament? Seriously?

Why not?

Who does he think he is, Liberace?

More like Richard Clayderman.

Yeah, and this is the Palladium(!)

Maybe we should send you round to knock some sense into him?

While you're there, you could talk Terry into coming back.

Terry who?

Terry Gerrety. He's tuning John's piano.

MOBILE PHONE RINGS

Oh, excuse me.

Oh! Hello, John?

Oh, you are kidding me?

You are kidding me!

See you in a bit.

You see, the thing is about Auntie Ag,

she doesn't engage her brain before her tongue starts working.

She said we were having trouble. Did she mean in our marriage?

We didn't have any trouble. We were happy.

All right, but what trouble did we have before we were happy?

She shouldn't have said anything.

But she did.

All marriages have bad patches.

Is that what she was talking about? A bad patch?

Yes.

How did she know?

Know what?

That we were having a bad patch? You tell her?

She practically brought me up, Karen.

Yeah, yeah, I know. She was like a mother to you.

Not quite, but close.

Why does she hate me?

She doesn't hate you, not really.

Why did you buy me this eternity ring?

Because, as it says, it signifies our eternity.

I thought that's what marriage meant?

Yes, it does, but... look, this is complicated.

-Was I going to leave?

-No.

Then why did you buy me the ring?

I bought you the ring because I love you,

and I want to be with you forever.

But you won't tell me what happened? You told her, but you won't tell me?

We had a good marriage, Karen.

-Apart from the bad patches?

-And that's all they were.

Right, I'm going to have a pudding. Do you want a pudding?

I'll order you something.

He's on his way.

Here's the money for the tuning.

I didn't finish it.

Then finish it.

What for, if you're not going to play?

What, you're serious? You want me to take it back?

What do you want me to do? Chuck it at you?

HE SIGHS HEAVILY

Um...

Would you like a cup of tea or something?

I'll make us a cup of tea.

Mmm. Not bad.

I've had better, but not bad.

You not eating yours?

Did she even want us to get married?

Can't we just leave this now?

No! This is, erm...this is...

It's a woman I've never met and she knows more about me than I do.

She didn't want us to get married, did she?

She would have said the same about anyone.

Nobody was good enough.

So she blames me?

Blames you for what?

Whatever went on in our marriage, she blames me!

What went on in our marriage, Rob?

HE SIGHS

It might help me!

Yeah, and it might make things worse.

Well, don't I deserve the truth?

-Karen, please, don't.

-Just tell me!

OK.

OK, I will.

We already had two kids. Two grown-up teenage kids.

So?

So it didn't seem to make sense to going back to having a baby again.

We were going to have another baby?

No. We weren't. That's the whole point.

You got pregnant, Karen.

And we decided it was for the best if you had an abortion.

Say something, please.

You went and got a pudding!

What?

You got a pudding!

No! I would never have agreed to it.

You did.

No, it's not something I would do.

-I feel sick.

-We didn't really have any choice.

-I feel physically sick!

-Keep your voice down.

-You! You make me sick!

-Karen!

SHE SHUDDERS AND SOBS

Karen?

I remember. I remember!

One little thing. Tune a piano. And get some practice in.

Then we can all go to the Lamb.

But, no, it has to descend into petty bickering, doesn't it?

Petty bickering! I've got arthritis.

And I'm not going to the Lamb.

Yeah, you keep saying. But you don't say why!

So, come on, why are you so determined

not to set foot in the Lamb?

You've obviously been there before and you know Shawna.

So, come on, enlighten us! Why won't you go to the Lamb?

Because I've been barred, that's why!

We can look at this as a positive thing.

How do you work that one out?

Because you're starting to get your memory back.

One tiny bit.

Yeah, but one tiny bit of the jigsaw. Your memory is coming back.

Do you want to know what it was, the tiny bit of the jigsaw?

It doesn't really matter, as long as you're remembering things...

It was you shouting at me. Bullying me.

-Me, bullying you?

-I would never have done it!

I just would not, you made me!

For pity's sake, woman.

Isn't it enough that you are remembering things about us?

Yeah. You made me have an abortion.

Karen, it's now time for you to grow up.

Grow up? Are you serious?

Are you're seriously going to sit there and say that to me now?

"Grow up"?!

Karen? Karen!

Karen!

Look, you don't need to treat me like this.

I'm working, Mum.

It's not like we can talk at home, is it? You're never there.

You've got a bandage around you.

Why won't you tell me how it happened?

Because it's none of your business.

Are you depressed?

What?

Well, you don't seem to care about anything!

I've had enough of this.

You all right?

Yes.

Chris was just showing me his bandage. Nice work.

He did it himself. Which isn't easy.

Mind you, neither is falling off your bike onto your back.

No. No, it isn't.

Karen!

"Grow up"?!

OK, that was out of order.

And making me have an abortion wasn't?!

I didn't make you.

I wouldn't have had it otherwise!

-Well, maybe not now when you think you're 18, no!

-Not ever! No!

It wasn't practical! The reality was Jack and Immie!

You should have listened to your Auntie Ag

when she told you not to marry me.

And I should have listened to my mum when she said don't trust a bloke. Ever!

And you should try listening to yourself now!

Your auntie's evil and you're evil.

And maybe your memory comes back when it suits you.

Don't say that and walk away from me!

Can't stay away!

Oh, he got you here, then? What are you like?

Artistic temperament!

I'm going to ask you a question.

Well, if you're going to propose, the answer's no.

Did you bar Terry because he was going blind?

What?

Just tell the truth.

Well, I, for one, am going to find somewhere else to drink.

You've got a charity sing-along. Well, charity starts at home!

-John?

-You're going nowhere.

And you, you're staying here to play the piano.

And you? I barred you for being obnoxious.

Only because you stopped me playing the piano.

-Because you were too drunk.

-And whose fault's that?

Because I gave you free beer? And you want an apology for that?

She has got a point.

I was going through stuff. I was losing my eyesight.

Didn't have to take it out on me.

You fancied me before.

Before you slammed the piano lid on my fingers?

What? You said you dropped a barrel on it!

-I did it?

-You don't remember?

No. Why didn't you say?

You were furious.

You slammed down the lid and went right out the door.

-Why didn't you just stop me?

-I didn't know it was that bad.

-Because you were too drunk?

-Yeah.

Can I...?

So, you can't play any more? And it's all my fault?

It was an accident.

-I stopped drinking that night.

-Me too.

Sounds like a good idea.

She can make you a St Clements. You could do that, couldn't you?

I need to start practising.

I wanted that baby and you stole it from me.

Oh, come on! This is not Jackie magazine.

Well, I'm sorry I can't be more middle-aged!

Yeah, so am I. But it was the right decision.

Then why do I feel sick?

I'm not saying it made you feel happy, but you understood.

Well, I don't now. And this is the real me!

And the older me should have told you to get stuffed!

Yeah, well, the older you didn't.

And the young you, I'll never understand.

I mean, how am I supposed to talk to the 18-year-old you

about an abortion you had when you were 45?

That you made me have!

I can't do this any more.

-Do what?

-This. Us.

I thought it was supposed to be forever.

So did I.

That's why you bought me the ring.

But it's not enough, is it?

It'll never be enough.

# Ain't no sunshine when she's gone

# It's not warm when she's away

# Ain't no sunshine when she's gone

# And she's always gone too long

# Any time she goes away!

# Wonder this time where she's gone

# Wonder if she's gone to stay

# Ain't no sunshine when she's gone

# And she's always gone too long

# Any time she goes away!

# And I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know

TOGETHER: # I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know...

# I know, I know, I know, I know, I know

# Baby, I oughta leave young thing alone

# Ain't no sunshine when she's gone! #

I know this is your way of grieving.

You're punishing yourself.

You and your dad, you loved cycling, and...

What?

Well, if that's your way of remembering him, then that's great.

But you're overdoing it.

Why didn't you tell me?

You're right. I am punishing myself.

How?

By trying to relive it all.

The way we used to go training. We'd push ourselves to the limit.

But not to the point of exhaustion!

And he would never have let you fall off.

Well, I've booked an appointment to see a chiropractor.

Please let me help you.

I've got to go out.

I'm sure you'll have noticed the lack of any

fresh graffiti on the premises over the last couple of days.

I'm not seeing anyone else.

So how come I've developed a mysterious bladder infection?

Will Karen ever get her memory back?

Just say yes or no.

This...is personal.

Do you want me to go all the way?

What do you think?

I really am sorry if I let you down, Karen.