Lost Souls Doctors

Dad.

-I'll make you some tea.

-Thanks, love. You're a good girl.

-How're you feeling?

-Terrible. I'm not going out.

Could you pick up my pills?

-You're going to the shops anyway, aren't you?

-Course I will.

-What do you want for breakfast?

-Nothing, I'm not really hungry.

Maybe a bacon sandwich?

Howard is keeping his beady eye on prescription efficiency,

particularly antibiotics.

Mind you - I'm all right.

I keep my prescribing of antibiotics to a minimum.

Oh, come on!

Well, I find that if you talk to your patients

and actually listen, they often don't need drugs...

Ladies, it's not a competition.

-Well, I'd be interested to see the figures.

-And so would I.

Listen to yourselves. You sound like children.

She started it!

Shush!

Listen.

-What? I can't hear anything.

-Exactly. Silence.

There's no patients, and best of all, no students.

I am sure you have plenty of paperwork to do, Dr Haskey.

We have got patients. Maggie the Psychic's in with Kevin.

-Psychic?

-Hmm. She's got varicose veins.

And the really funky thing is she knew she was going to get them.

See?

-"Mystical Maya."

-That's her professional name.

She's advertising herself here?

Oh, Kelly. How can I help you?

I've come for my dad's prescription.

Could your father not come himself?

Er... No. He can't. He's...busy.

OK, Maggie, we'll see you again in a couple of weeks,

-but of course, you already knew that.

-Thank you.

And we'll be meeting Jackie tonight, right?

Yeah. She's going to come and join us at the Icon.

She says she's really looking forward to seeing you all.

Can't think why.

Kelly, a lot of crisps!

You need to buy something a little more nutritious.

I've got to go.

Er, Mrs Outhwaite. You cannot advertise yourself here.

Please take them away.

No, wait a minute. Kelly, is it?

Yeah.

I see great sorrow. You've lost someone.

-Recently?

-My mum.

Oh, I'm so sorry. But maybe I could help.

How?

I hear the voices of those who have gone before.

Kelly, do not listen to her!

This is dangerous nonsense.

There's always some people who don't believe.

-You mean you could talk to my mum?

-Hmm.

I'm doing a session tonight. Now, details are all on here.

I normally charge £5, but you can come in free.

Kelly, do not go! This woman is a sham.

A charlatan. Your mother would not have wanted this.

-Dawn Ryans was a good Christian.

-It's none of your business!

Howard wants us to go for a team-building drink after work.

-Not the Icon, though. Some new place. I know.

-He told me.

Look, about the assessment.

-Well, we both want the same things.

-Do we?

Yes, I mean, we both want to know the results, don't we?

Why don't we work together?

You and Daniel ply him with drink,

and I'll... Well, use my feminine wiles.

Truce?

I suppose.

What are you up to this evening? Anything nice?

This woman is a menace.

Who, Maggie? Oh, she just puts on a show.

-It's harmless.

-She is not harmless.

It is ungodly and unchristian.

Dragging people's personal business out into the open.

Playing on their feelings?

Oh, give over. No-one takes it seriously.

Kelly Ryan does.

Her mother died of cancer only recently.

She is very vulnerable.

Exactly the sort of person Mrs Outhwaite preys upon.

It's a psychic reading, Mrs T. It's not voodoo.

I... I cannot let her do this to Kelly.

I am going to that meeting.

I am going to stop her. Somehow.

Dad? SOFT GIGGLING FROM ABOVE

Dad! Listen, I've met this woman, and she says...

Dad?

-You're back early.

-Who's up there?

This is Kelly, my daughter. This is Liane.

-She's a friend.

-What's she doing here?

I was just showing her round the house, you know.

Showing her upstairs and...

Kell, why don't you go out for a bit, yeah?

Get yourself some fish and chips.

All of us lose people we love.

But they're not dead.

Their spirit doesn't die.

They've just moved to a higher spiritual plane.

Those we have loved are very close.

Be still...

..and let us listen.

-No Jackie yet?

-Apparently not.

She'll be here. Actually, I'll text her and see where she's got to.

Where does she work again?

Um, I'm not sure. Birmingham somewhere.

I've never been to her office. Why do you ask?

She's an optician, right?

I was thinking about getting my eyes tested.

Seriously, I haven't been for ages

and I was thinking I could go to her.

She's new in town, she probably needs clients,

so why don't you give me her address...

-Yeah. I'll ask her when I see her.

-PHONE BEEPS

Ah, she's texted me.

She can't come.

ALL: Aww!

-Her sister's in town...

-Can't they both come?

No, it's just a flying visit.

Actually, she wants me to go and meet them both. Sorry.

That's a shame. I was really looking forward to seeing her.

Erm, I'll get some menus. Kevin, can you come with me?

She sounds really nice. Have you got any pictures?

What do you think you're doing? Stop interrogating the poor guy.

I'm not. I'm just testing evidence.

Look, if his girlfriend ever does turn up,

I'll be the first to admit I was wrong, OK?

-Look!

-What's she doing with you?

-I really don't know, mate!

-Here you go.

I'm seeing a message for someone.

I'm seeing the letter K.

Katherine, maybe?

No.

K...

K-E.

Kerry?

Kelly.

-That's me!

-Come to the stage, Kelly, love.

Come on. Here we go. Sit in this chair.

That's it.

Give me your hands, Kelly, love.

Close your eyes.

Your mother, Dawn...

She loved you very much.

Yeah.

She wants you to know...

..how happy she is.

She's in Heaven,

and it's so beautiful.

She's at peace.

She's not in pain any more.

And she loves you as much as she ever did.

Love doesn't die.

-Howard, what are you drinking?

-I thought I was getting these.

No, no, I insist.

Is there something you need to tell me?

We want to know who's been prescribing the most antibiotics.

-Well, some of us do.

-Oh, that.

Right, well, basically, Zara and Emma are both neck and neck.

-What?

-What?!

Oh, I thought you'd be pleased.

We can't be.

Well, you both had time off last year - for legitimate reasons,

so it's hard to make a direct comparison.

What I need is a way of comparing...

Um... I'll have a pint, please.

G&T.

It'll help me cope with the suspense...

-Emma?

-Whisky, please.

Yes, I'm seeing a message for someone.

I'm seeing the letter S.

S...Y...

Well, there's only one person it can be. Sylvia!

I always have a message for you, don't I?

It's your sister. Maybe she's jealous that you've got a new fella!

PSYCHIC LAUGHS

Look, I don't know about you, but me and Mandy just came here

to have a nice little drink, not to interrogate Al.

-What's your problem with him?

-How long have you got?

Kevin thinks Al's girlfriend's made up.

-Eh?

-Why would he?

To look less sad and lonely.

-Well, he's told us loads about her.

-And he showed us a picture.

He could've got that from anywhere.

He could've got it from an advert, a magazine, cropped it,

scanned it into his phone.

C'mon, look, if she's imaginary, how's she texting him?

There must be some way of doing it. He's a geek, he'd know.

Maybe he's got two mobile phones and he's texting himself.

Look, none of us have ever met her, OK?

Even like today, when she's supposed to turn up, she doesn't.

There's always an excuse.

Why go to all that trouble?

Poor bloke. He shouldn't be embarrassed about being single.

Look at us - we all are.

OK. Well, let's just ask him, straight out.

No! Please. Don't.

What are we talking about?

Oh, nothing. Thanks, Al.

Well, it was so nice to see you again.

-Thank you so much.

-Thank you so much for coming.

-And thank you.

-Thank you. Very good.

-I'll maybe see you next week.

-Yeah.

-Lovely.

Oh! Do you know, I didn't think you'd come.

-Now, did you enjoy it?

-No, I did not!

Do you know, I thought you might come with an open mind.

You're a very spiritual person, Mrs Tembe.

You're a Christian. You should understand.

-I mean, we're the same.

-We are not the same!

I do not pretend to talk to the dead.

Oh, you think I'm pretending? And how would I do that?

Oh, it is easy.

You get people to sign in so you know their names.

You knew Kelly's mother's name was Dawn, because you heard me say it.

You gather information, make guesses.

It is all trickery!

You are making money out of people's grief.

And that poor girl...

Look, I helped Kelly. Didn't you see how happy she looked?

I know that girl. And I know that family.

This is not the sort of help they need.

Oh, well, what have you done for her?

I heard you - telling her off and lecturing her.

Do you think that's what she needs?

I mean, all of you at that surgery, you don't have the time

to just sit and listen.

I do that.

I care about people, and I use my gift to help them.

-I mean, ask Kelly. She'll tell you.

-So, why did she go?

Well, probably because she'd got what she came for.

She put a note in your bag. Didn't you see?

It is addressed to her father.

Why would she write a note to her father

unless she was thinking of not going home...

Oh, no, I don't think you should read that.

"Dear Dad, I'm not coming home."

-Oh, my...

-What? What is it?

"I know there's a Heaven now, the psychic lady said.

"I know Mum's there.

"I just want to be with her."

What... What are we going to do?

Do you still think you're helping her?

You have probably driven her to suicide.

I've got to try and find her, and explain...

I have called the police.

I don't know anyone else who would bring spreadsheets to the pub.

Well, I've crunched the numbers, and...

-Well?

-Basically, everybody's doing an excellent job.

Now, this exercise isn't supposed to highlight anyone who's a failure.

Oh, Howard, for goodness sake.

Well, allowing for time off, and various other factors,

our most efficient prescriber is...

Daniel.

Daniel?

Oh. Well done, you.

Thanks for the pint. Thirsty work, that.

-Cheers.

-Hang on a minute.

You knew about this.

You've just been winding us up, haven't you?

It was just so easy.

Right, OK. We will do everything we can, Bill, to find Kelly.

But we're going to need some help. Do you know what she was wearing?

Erm...

Yeah, she was wearing a maroon jacket.

And a... It was a stripy top.

And grey trousers.

And we'll need a photograph, a recent one. Maybe a school photo?

Yeah, a school photo. There's erm... There's one on the mantelpiece.

OK. Had you two had a row?

No.

Any reason at all why she would be upset, why she would go off?

Er.... I had a friend visiting. Liane.

So, you have found yourself a new lady-friend.

-No wonder your daughter was upset.

-I was doing it for Kelly!

-Really?

-Partly.

Look, I know it's too much for her.

Housework, and everything.

And school starts again in a month,

and I thought, if I could find myself a new woman

then she could take over the housework

and look after me and Kell...

How about trying to do this for yourself?

OK, OK.

Can you think of anywhere at all where she might have gone?

-A favourite place, somewhere special?

-Hmm.

-Well, if you do think of anywhere...

-There is one place. The lake.

It's where we scattered Dawn's ashes.

Right, well, I think me and Chris are going to order some food.

Ah, the soggy joys of the Icon's vegetarian lasagne.

Yeah, I had a lasagne. I know what's in it.

SNORTS LIKE A HORSE

-Has Jackie rung yet?

-Oh. I put my phone on silent!

"Hi, handsome. My sister's just arrived,

"so come and join us as soon as you can."

Oh, she who must be obeyed.

Why don't you get them to come here? Or we can go with you.

No, I'm afraid not, we're going to go to a members' only club.

It's a little bit exclusive.

I'll see you all next week.

-Come on. Let's go.

-Go where?

Where do you think?

-This is ridiculous.

-No. This is a chance.

Don't you want to find out, once and for all?

Kelly?

LOUD MUSIC PLAYS

See? It is a private members' club. The Paradise.

It's a strip club.

Come on.

I'm not talking to you. You're a pig.

-You don't care about Mum, you don't care about me...

-I do.

I miss your mum so much, Kell.

Every day.

Is that why you're sleeping with someone else?!

So you were planning to jump in?

I can't swim.

Kelly...

What I said...

It wasn't real.

I know you're grieving.

I said what you wanted to hear.

You made it up? You weren't speaking to Mum at all?

No, I...I'm sure it is true.

She is in Heaven and she is happy.

It's just...I didn't...

..actually speak to her.

What about all the other people? You gave everyone messages!

Well, I... I see people's grief and...and pain and loneliness and...

And I try to bring comfort, I...

Usually it works. I never meant you to do this.

You're a fake.

-No!

-Kelly!

-No!

LOUD MUSIC PLAYS

He's not here. Let's go.

Jas.

Let's get out of here.

Kevin!

Well, now we know why the messages and all the other stuff

you were getting have stopped.

He's got himself a Jas-substitute.

What, that girl? She doesn't look anything like me!

She's Asian.

What are you saying, Kevin? We all look the same?

No. It's just now we know where he goes.

Look, it has to be Al.

There is no girlfriend, never was. He's been lying to us,

-he's been lying for months.

-We don't know that.

Maybe Jackie is real, he just lied about tonight.

What's it going to take for you to stop defending him?

He's a perv, plain and simple. Going to a strip-club on his own...

Oh, what, so if he was in a big leery crowd of blokes,

if he was on a stag-do or something, that'd be all right?

It's less creepy. It just is.

-You need to go to the police.

-No.

You've got to stop letting him get away with this, OK,

someone needs to have a word.

I'm going to go back in there and have a word and tell him exactly

-what kind of perv he is!

-No, don't!

You'll just make it worse if you go in there now,

you might get into some stupid fight and then you'd get arrested

and lose your job. And that's not going to help.

I just want to go home.

If you want to play knight in shining armour, then call us a taxi.

You believe in Heaven, right?

You must, you're a Christian.

Yes. Yes, I do.

And you believe Mum's there?

Your mother was a good woman.

If I jumped in the water now, would you still try and stop me?

Yes. Yes, I would.

You probably think suicide's a sin.

I think it is a waste of life.

We cannot choose when we die.

Heaven is not a holiday destination.

We cannot decide we want to go there because...

Well, because it sounds nice.

I know you think that you do not want to carry on living any more.

But things will change. It will get easier.

Well, grief...

It is a long process.

You will go through it, and when you come out you will be stronger.

Your mother?

She loved life.

Even when she was dying. She fought so hard to stay alive.

Yeah.

She would not want you to do this.

But I want to be with her.

I don't want to have to wait, like, 60 years.

I believe that she is with you, every day.

Watching over you.

Oh, come on.

There. The house is all secure.

No-one's hiding in the wardrobe. No more creepy gifts.

-Kev, promise me something.

-What?

Don't tell Al that we saw him. Don't tell anyone at work.

Why not? You know, perhaps Howard and the partners should know

that they're employing a pervert!

I think Al's vulnerable.

So, we just let him go on stalking you?

No. I'll handle it.

If it is Al, I sort of feel relieved.

He's harmless.

He's got a good side and he's been kind to me.

-Really?

-He found me this house.

He went round to the estate agents, got me this place

-and it's exactly what I wanted.

-Al chose this house for you

and you don't think that's in any way creepy?

No. It's not like that. It was a nice gesture.

I still think of him as a friend...

Yeah, he does really lovely friendly things

like texting you in the middle of the night and calling you a whore...

He didn't mean that. He was probably drunk.

Maybe I should stay the night?

In the spare room, obviously.

Or maybe you could come and stay with me for a while?

I'm a big girl, Kevin, I can look after myself.

Anyway, you're off on holiday next week.

Even if I did stay at yours, I'd still be alone.

-Maybe I shouldn't go.

-Don't be daft.

I hate leaving with things the way they are.

I do feel calmer, now that I know for sure.

I'll call you a cab.

There you are.

-I put plenty of sugar in it.

-Thanks, Dad.

I've never really cooked.

I have a simple cookery book, I will lend it to you,

but first the washing up.

We're going to be all right, Kell.

-If you're pregnant, I want you off.

-I like my job.

What, more than you'd like kids?

How about The Icon?

It's close, we can nip down, have lunch, write a review.

-Good idea.

-Bad idea.

-What do you do with yourself?

-I'm a nurse.

No way! I love a girl in uniform.

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