The Edge Doctors

Now the key to this is normality.

When we reopen after lunch, the surgery carries on as normal,

we carry on as normal.

Only until the suspect arrives, do the undercover "patients"

spring into action and arrest him.

So what you're saying is that the only person

who's not normal here is Rob?

TITTERING

Very funny, Karen.

As you know, the suspect's name is Gus Harper,

going under the alias of Steven Grahams.

As soon as he checks in for his appointment,

we'll apprehend him and I want you to rest assured

there is absolutely no danger of Dr Khella

coming into contact with the suspect.

Now, the suspect has an appointment with Dr Khella, 16:30 hours.

The time now is approximately 14:17.

-Do you think he might be enjoying this?

-Not "might".

Do you know what would help me?

If we give the patients real ailments - you know, so in case

I have to talk to them, I can really get into the role-playing.

Very good, Karen. Anything that helps.

We could give Rob an horrendous case of piles?

TITTERING

Karen, please!

May I remind you of the seriousness of the situation

for Dr Khella.

-Sorry, Jas.

-It's OK.

Now, to that end,

I've asked Dr Haskey to remain at home today.

He is known to the suspect so we need to avoid anything

which may arouse suspicion.

Isn't Gus Harper just, well, a lonely weirdo?

He may well be, we just don't know.

But what we do know is that he's purchased a whole arsenal

of legal weaponry.

This is doing my head in.

Look, the best thing you can do to help Jas

is just to try and maintain some kind of normality.

How can I act normal with everything that's going on over there?

Jas is putting herself in the firing line of a certifiable headcase.

Well, it's like Howard said,

we just have to behave like today is, well, like any other.

Appointment with Dr Reid. Philip Morini.

Let me see if I can find...

Look! Come on, come on! I haven't got all day.

Excuse me, there is no need to be so rude.

It's all right, Mrs Tembe.

If you'd like to come through, Mr Morini.

HE SNIFFS

You never said anything about weapons.

You don't have to worry about that.

Well, I am flipping worried!

It's me who's got to talk to him.

I mean, what if he suddenly flips his lid and decides to attack me?

Oh, and why would anyone want to do that to you?

I'm being serious, Rob.

You didn't tell me he was going to be armed.

We don't expect him to be.

And anyway, one of the boys has got a Taser...

Oh, a Taser! Well, bully for him. What about me?

I want a stab vest, or something, for protection.

You're a member of the public. It won't be necessary.

I'm not a member of the public, I'm your wife.

And I'm not happy.

Right, OK. I'll see if we've got one in the car.

Yeah, sorry about that, bit on edge at the moment.

-Pressure of work.

-Still?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nightmare.

How are you getting on with the breathing exercises?

Well, that's it. They're... They're-they're not working.

It's probably why I shouted at that bird out there.

HE SNIFFS

You mean, Mrs Tembe.

I think I need something stronger, definitely.

I'm... I'm still getting the anxiety attacks. I get stressed.

I can't breathe and, er...

But it's getting worse now and when I don't cope, I flip out.

I've... I've even started getting suicidal.

Suicidal?

Right, well, when you have these suicidal feelings,

do you ever act on them?

I mean, do you self-harm?

Er, no, no.

It's just that we offer psychological support services...

When I say "suicidal", I mean just a bit...down.

You know, it's not that bad, really.

It's more stress, really, from the... From the job.

Right, well, have you thought about changing your job?

I've got an interview today.

So, yeah, fingers crossed, if I can get through that,

then things will start to look up, I reckon.

So if you could give me something to help calm me for that, then,

that would be great.

It's just that with the severe nature of your symptoms I...

Well, I'm not lying.

No, I didn't say that you were.

You said, come back if the breathing exercises don't work

and we can talk about medication.

And they didn't work, so...

Right...

Well, look, I suppose I could give you a short course of beta-blockers.

-Great.

-HE CLEARS THROAT

But on the understanding that you come back to see me.

Fine. Yeah.

Look, Philip, if you have these feelings again,

please don't hesitate to come and see me.

They're strong, are they?

Yes. They're strong enough.

HE CLEARS THROAT

Will this, erm, go on my medical record?

Of course, why do you ask?

Just... Just wondered.

Yeah, sorry about that earlier...

Mrs Temb.

Mrs Tembe!

It was the stress talking.

Sorted now.

< HE SNIFFS

You see, that's why I didn't offer you a stab vest.

-Well, have you not you got a smaller one?

-No, afraid not.

Oh, give me that.

How's that?

Oh, yeah! Now I remember why I fell in love with you.

I don't think you're taking my personal safety seriously.

You see I'd rather wear this than be a beautiful corpse!

Here you are. That Mr Morini dropped his prescription.

I will telephone him.

Oh, by the way, your 2:30 has cancelled.

Brilliant. Right, I'm going to give Mandy a call

and find out if anything's happened yet.

No! Leave her be.

Remember what Mr Bellamy said - "Normality is paramount."

He's loving this. He thinks he's the A-Team.

Tell me something - how are you getting on with your youth group?

Have you thought of ways of raising money for it yet?

Well, I've made some enquiries, but it's a recession.

You know, people aren't interested

in funding youth services at the best of times.

Well, I think it is wonderful that you have taken it on yourself

to change that.

Well, not quite. Look, I've got so much to do at the moment.

Really?

Well, obviously I'm not doing anything now,

-but that's just cos you've told me...

-Excellent.

That can wait.

We can put our heads together.

FAN BUZZES

PHONE RINGS

SHE PANTS

Mill Health Centre?

Yeah, hiya. It's Dr Haskey.

Oh, Al! How are you?

Everything all right?

Yeah, fine. I'm just wondering how Dr Khella is, really.

She's... Everything's under control. She's being very brave.

Are you all right? You sound a bit...

Yeah, no, I'm fine. I'm just a bit hot.

It's this stab vest they put me in.

They've got you in a stab vest?!

Would you like me to put you through to Jas?

No, no, no. It's OK.

I better get back to my internet fox hunt.

-Your what?

-Intelligence gathering.

I'm monitoring all online activity associated with Gus Harper.

Just a way to displace some nervous energy, really.

It's actually quite therapeutic.

It's the closest I'm going to get to wringing his neck.

Give it a wring for me, will you?

Nobody wakes up in the morning feeling like

they want to help others.

But what marks the great from the good are those who feel that way,

and still get up to do something about it.

If it was not for these people, we would not have the NHS,

the Welfare State, all the things that make Britain great.

You are one of the lucky ones. You were born into a comfortable,

caring home you... You are beholden...

Hi, Philip Morini. You phoned about my prescription?

Cheers. Don't remember asking for it, but I've run out, so thanks.

You guys must have some pretty good systems in place here.

Very impressed.

It's good timing, actually.

Job interview today. It's a biggie, so...

Anyway, better dash. Thank you.

Oh excuse me, sorry, sorry! I need a drink.

SHE PANTS

HE IMITATES HER PANTING

-What?

-Nothing.

I'm thirsty.

You just look a... You look a bit...

..like a Michelin woman on steroids.

KNOCK AT DOOR

Come in.

This is one of my MDs.

This is Caroline and Gareth from Hinkley Consultancy.

They'll be sitting in on the interviews,

and also doing some cognitive ability tests before you go for your medical.

-Oh.

-Problem?

-No. No, no.

-Good.

Cos if you think I'm giving away my company over a cosy chat,

-you've got another think coming. Sit down.

-Whatever you say, Dad.

It's Mr Morini today, son.

HE CLEARS THROAT

How you getting on with the phone tracking, lads?

-All done, boss.

-Yeah? Great stuff.

All right, you win!

Please, keep your eyes on him.

If he so much as hiccups in my direction, you jump him.

Put your hand in my pocket.

What the hell's that?!

I have a weapon and I'm not afraid to use it.

No-one's going to touch you.

So take a deep breath and get back to work and, for goodness' sake,

-try and act...

-Normal, I know!

I started Morini Office Furniture from a market stall in the Bullring.

Today's share price values the company at £8.4 million.

Now, if my ceiling is your floor,

what are you going to do to ensure the same year-on-year growth?

Right. Well, I reckon we need to modernise if...

Don't use that poxy word. What does it actually mean?

Erm...

All right, I mean...change.

When you started in the '70s, there was a ready-made market.

But more and more people are working from home now.

They want furniture that looks tasty in their house.

The Swedes are doing it. That's why we're losing out to them.

All right, I'm not here to talk about the Swedes.

What about our corporate clients? They're our bread and butter.

Well, yeah, I'm not saying ignore them,

but I do reckon we should sell the showroom,

concentrate on the website.

It took me years to buy that place.

No-one's got time to shop any more.

That'd be my main strategy.

All it takes is a modicum of intelligence,

a smattering of creativity and good old-fashioned persistence.

You know, once the newspaper found out about the foodbank,

the church never had to ask for donations again.

Simple.

Really?

And when we wanted to raise money for the toddlers' group,

well, we just approached local businessmen and women with children

and asked them to match what we raised.

£5,000 in the first year, God be praised.

I think we should stop outsourcing from China.

Come again?

Sichuan province increased its minimum wage by 23% in 2011.

Others are following. The margins aren't so healthy any more.

HE SWALLOWS

Add to that the...

increase in...

shipping costs and....

And what?

And, erm, haulage...

Sorry, is it OK if I just open a window?

-I beg your pardon?

-It's all right, I'll just...

Is something the matter?

No! No. Sorry, go on.

It was you that was talking.

Oh, yeah! So, erm...

So...

What was I saying?

China.

Yeah, China...

HE SIGHS

Look, so where are you suggesting we source from, then?

Er...

The UK.

HE SCOFFS

No, no, no, hear me out. It's not as far fetched as...

Go on.

Well, there's this new factory opening in...

Ah...

What, and that's going to be cheaper than Poland, Lithuania?

Well, initially, no. But long term...

So you want to increase our costs?

Well, no! Yes.

Initially, but then...

-BREATHLESSLY:

-Can I just...

Oh!

Thank you, Doctor.

Anxiety attacks?

I don't get them.

You heard him. That's why some people take these.

I thought they were my cholesterol tablets.

Just a new brand or something.

Is this because you don't want me to think that you're not up to the job?

No! Yeah! Because I am up to it.

I can't believe you lied to me. You're my son.

I'm not lying.

What, so that doctor's lying then, is he?

Dad. I promise you.

My GP must have prescribed them by mistake, or something.

Well, either you're lying to me,

or your GP has just made the worst mistake of their career.

Either way, someone's about to lose their job.

PHONE RINGS

Emma Reid. Oh, hello.

Yes, I saw him this morning.

Sorry?

Well, he said he was having anxiety attacks.

Well, of course I checked.

Hang on...

I'm just looking at his records now

and there's nothing to suggest that...

What?

Which ward are you on?

OK. I'll be right over.

No, the paper clips haven't arrived yet...

Oh, sorry I've got to go. Thank you.

All set?

Right. Let's go.

Mr Morini! What is going on?

That's her.

What were you thinking of, giving him these? You could have killed him.

-Hang on a minute...

-No, you hang on a minute.

He thought he was taking cholesterol pills.

Well, I don't know why he would think that.

I mentioned nothing about cholesterol.

-That's not true. The last time I...

-I beg your...

-So what did you say they were for?

-I'm afraid I cannot disclose...

Oh, very convenient!

..without the patient's consent!

Son?

I've got nothing to hide.

When you came to see me this morning...

I only saw the receptionist.

..I prescribed you a course of beta-blockers

because you were complaining of repeated anxiety attacks.

-What?!

-You even mentioned suicidal thoughts.

Suicidal!?

No. There-there must be some mistake.

And quite apart from being rude to our staff and acting erratically...

Cup of tea, bruv?

Twins.

PHONE RINGS

Good afternoon, Mill Health Centre?

Oh! Hello, Mr Grahams.

You want to cancel?

Yeah, that's absolutely fine!

Erm...

-STUTTERING:

-You...you just have to say when you would like to come in.

I've got tomorrow, the day after...

You're going to call. OK.

Um...

Oh, before you go, would you just mind

answering a short customer service satisfaction survey?

It won't take long.

On a scale of one to ten, with ten being excellent,

how would you rate the friendliness of my call this afternoon?

Oh!

PHONE LINE GOES DEAD

Oh!

-No. They've not got a trace.

-I'm sorry.

It's OK. Don't worry. It's not your fault.

You did really well, love.

You were pretending to be Philip?!

What the hell were you thinking?

I didn't know he'd take them, did I?

I must have dropped the prescription.

You planned this?

Well, obviously, I didn't plan this.

Well, I should hope not.

What exactly did you plan?

Well, can you blame me?

Well, it was never going to be a fair interview, was it?

-What are you talking about?

-What did you plan, son?

Well, I just thought when you have your medical,

if the doctor sees on your records about you getting stressed

then maybe it would be a fair interview.

You pretended to be Phil to give him a dodgy medical?

Please tell me you're joking.

I'm sorry, am I missing something?

Dad uses a private doctor for our works medical.

He'd see your notes on my records, then report back to Dad.

Was that the idea, Paul?

You said you were stressed.

Once or twice! I'm not suicidal.

All right, I exaggerated!

It's not like it's the first time

we've pretended to be each other, is it?

You didn't mind sharing my girlfriends.

When we were fifteen!

I hardly think that this is in the same category

as getting an illicit snog, do you?

I could have been struck off. Did you even think about that?

Well, anyway, I thought

maybe you might want something to help you relax.

No, no, no. You see, what you're doing there

is called digging yourself a deeper hole.

Don't for one second think that you did this for my benefit.

At least have the guts to admit when you've messed up.

All right, well, I didn't know this would happen.

Otherwise, of course I...

Well, anyway, I thought you admire that sort of thing.

Come again?

Well, doing whatever it takes to get the edge.

That's what you always drum into us. That's how you built the company.

I didn't poison anyone!

Oh, right, so I mucked up again, did I? What a surprise(!)

What are you on about?

Well, it doesn't matter, does it?

Nothing's ever good enough. Website, new designs,

but if Phil ever comes up with anything...

Now, hang on a minute.

It's true, isn't it?

He's a steady hand.

You think he's better than me.

Paul, please...

Deny it. See! You can't.

-Paul!

-Deny that you always choose Phil over me!

The job was yours, you dipstick.

You've really inspired me today.

Oh, good. Thank you.

Well, you know, it's just nice to talk to someone who's not

just interested in themselves.

There are far more interesting things in the world

than our own navel.

So I'm in.

In what?

Let's save the Youth Club.

I reckon together, we can do it.

-We?

-Yeah.

I can't believe you're saying all this, Paul.

The way he talks about you.

It's chip off the old block.

Well, he doesn't say that to my face.

Do you think he showers me with compliments?

Look, I'm not sure what kind of twisted game-playing

is going on here,

and I don't think you understand the severity of your actions.

I'm sorry. It was just to have it on your records.

I didn't think you'd take the pills.

I thought they were harmless.

Yes, well, they usually are.

Lucky for you all he had was a bad reaction to them.

KNOCK AT DOOR

Come in.

It's off.

-What?!

-He bailed.

-Why?

-We don't know, but for now, you can stand down.

-Let's talk before you leave.

-Yeah.

Anyway, it's not all bad.

At least we know who's got the job now.

Sorry, Paul, obviously, I can't give it to you

after what's happened, can I?

Well done, Phil. The company's yours.

I don't want it.

Come again?

Not like this.

Now hang on...

We're supposed to be a family. Look at him, Dad.

He did this for you.

If I'd known it meant that much to you, Paul,

I would have stepped down.

No, you wouldn't.

Look, I built this company for you two. It's your inheritance.

Your children's. You're not just walking away.

I don't want it like this

so give it to Paul. That way it still stays in the family.

He's a loose cannon.

There you go again. That language! He's your son!

He's not fit to run a company. You heard the doctor.

That's not what I said.

Well, then we can wait until he is fit.

We all know you'll never completely let go anyway.

Or Paul and I could run it together.

He's got great drive, great vision. What do you think, Paul?

I'd-I'd be up for that, yeah.

But no more of this nonsense. We do things my way.

Have you two planned this?

Believe it or not, no.

I've half a mind to give you both the elbow.

Well, that might not be such a bad idea.

We could probably do with a break.

I know I could.

You know full well that can't happen. I have to retire.

Your mum's booked us on this round-the-world cruise thing.

Or maybe we could start our own business together, Paul?

Are you taking the...

Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad!

Why don't you go to the canteen, grab yourself a coffee

and have a think about our offer.

We can join you in a little while

when you've had time to mull it over.

I'm not happy.

Dad, go on. We won't be long.

Paul...

Just a minute.

Doctor, can I give you my card?

Please tell your Practice Manager to give us a call.

I'd love to talk about any office furniture needs you might have.

Free of charge, of course.

It's the least I can do to make up for the atrocious way

you've been treated today.

Please accept mine

and, well, the company's apologies.

Accepted.

Look, I happen to know a very good family counsellor

if you ever...

Well, you know where I am.

I don't know what to say.

How about, "I'm going to stop believing Dad prefers you."

That might be a good start.

Sorry.

So are we going to do this together, then?

No more nonsense?

Promise.

Come on, then. We better not keep Dad waiting.

Well, get out. I need to get undressed!

Oh, and Paul.

Pull another stunt like this...

and it's over.

KEYBOARD TAPPING

Come on.

Where are you?

Ah. "Mr G Harper."

OK, let's have a little peeksie in your shopping basket, shalls we's?

Delivery address... Delivery address...

Delivery address... Where are you hiding yourself?

Until we know exactly why he bailed,

I think we should insist that Dr Khella

-doesn't go home tonight.

-Yeah, agreed, boss.

OK, get packed up in here and then we'll...

Is that someone in the bushes?

I didn't see.

Come with me.

Police! Don't move!

What the hell are you doing?!

I was covering his exit route.

Who told you to do that?!

And put your hands down, you're not in the Bronx.

You didn't have it covered.

This is my operation.

Yes, well, nobody saw me.

I saw you! And the suspect didn't show.

Maybe he saw you poncing about in the bushes

and thought better of it.

So, thank you very much.

You may well have jeopardised the entire operation.

Come on, I've had enough of this.

And what if he does come back?

I can't justify the resources on the basis of guess work.

-Even if Jas may still be at risk?

-Stephen Grahams?

OK, hang on one second.

It's him! It's him!

The safety and security of the staff is our priority.

As soon as we confirm this man's identity

we'll move straight in and arrest him.

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