Home Truths Doctors


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Home Truths

Jimmi risks his counselling qualification when he turns the tables on his assessor. Ayesha has some home truths for Valerie, and Emma discovers an injured man.


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Are you all right?

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I don't know.

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You're bleeding.

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I was attacked.

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-Do you know by who?

-No.

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Did you hit your head at all?

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-I'm not sure.

-Right, OK.

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-I think we need to get you to hospital.

-No.

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I just need to get cleaned up.

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Look at this dress!

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All right, it's all right.

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Come on.

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Sorry I'm late.

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Couple of minutes. No worries.

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There isn't any way we could postpone my assessment?

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I'm afraid not.

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We've got an IT crisis at work and I'm way behind...

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This was set up ages ago.

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-I can't cancel it now.

-OK.

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I just thought I'd ask.

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I've got an interesting case for you.

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She's an ex-patient.

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I've downloaded some of the case details.

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She's suffering from persistent complex grief disorder.

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-Just can't move on.

-Why not?

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-That, you need to find out for yourself.

-OK.

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Just get her to try and open up a bit, maybe encourage her to see

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things a bit differently, show her how counselling could help.

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In one session?

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Why not? I have every faith in you.

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CHIMING

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She's here.

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What are you doing?

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I had forgotten how much work was involved.

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Who's getting married?

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-I am.

-To who?

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Ashley, obviously.

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-Ashley?!

-Yeah.

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He proposed.

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What?!

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Now, do you think that the cupcakes should match the floral display or just complement it?

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How can you even be thinking about cupcakes and flowers?

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You have to, Eesh.

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There are more important things.

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Yeah, I know, obviously - the dress.

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Fortunately, I have narrowed my shortlist down to 12.

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No, no, no. Not the dress.

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I've also got shortlists for the venue, the music, the cake. Oh!

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-Would you like to be a bridesmaid?

-Valerie, none of that matters.

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I think you'll find it does.

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The most important thing in any wedding is

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the man you're going to marry.

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-And?

-Think about it.

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I've told you. It's Ashley.

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Who's already married.

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To another woman!

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Sorry.

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You've really no idea who did this to you?

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It's all a bit of a blur.

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-Was it because you're wearing a... you know?

-Karen!

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There have been loads of homophobic attacks lately, Rob said.

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I'm... I'm not gay.

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-Oh!

-Look, Karen.

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Lots of crossdressers aren't gay.

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I'm not a crossdresser.

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-Oh.

-This...is my wife's dress.

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Right.

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Ever since I lost her, I've started to wear her clothes.

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It helps me to feel closer to her.

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Well, Leo, your head seems fine, but I would still like you to go to A&E.

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No.

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Is there somebody we can call?

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Or someone who can come and take care of you?

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I've got no-one...

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..now that Ali's gone.

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It's been five years since my husband died.

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I know I'm supposed to move on, get over it.

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Why do you say supposed to move on?

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It's what everyone thinks - it's what they want.

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And what do you think?

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Mostly, I don't think anything.

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I just feel numb.

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I bounce back and forth between the shock, the anger,

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the hopelessness.

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Talking about how you feel is always a good start.

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Exactly.

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You've had some physical health problems since your husband died, yes?

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My blood pressure's too high, I suffer from insomnia,

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anxiety, dizzy spells.

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And you're on medication?

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Anti-depressants.

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Not that they make any difference.

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And I self-medicate.

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Alcohol.

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-And you've had counselling?

-Yes.

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But this is different.

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Nothing can help me now.

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I don't normally go out looking like this.

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But I have lapses.

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Lapses?

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I lose all track of time, and then

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I look up and I don't know where I am or how I got there.

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That's not good.

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I miss her so much.

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My wife.

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It's like we were two people living in two bodies,

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and now it's like we're two people living in one body.

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Is that crazy?

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No.

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-Look, about these...

-Is there another way out of here?

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-Why?

-I've just seen one of my students in your waiting room.

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Oh, oh, right.

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So you're a lecturer?

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Environmental sciences. I can't face him, not wearing this.

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-I understand.

-Couldn't I stay here? I mean, just for a bit?

-Um...

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Yes. Yes, I suppose so.

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I could find you a room.

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Well, it's probably a good idea for me to keep an eye on you for a bit, anyway.

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-Thank you.

-OK. No problem.

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I'll just go and sort it out.

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You are unbelievable!

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-No, wait...

-Did you listen to a word I said?

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-I will stop in a minute.

-No!

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-Look, I've just got to finish planning, just in case.

-Valerie, step away from the magazines!

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-Ayesha!

-I'm serious.

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-They're just magazines.

-Right, get your things. We're going out.

-What?

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I've got to get you away from them.

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We'll go and fly Sierra's kite.

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Don't throw them away!

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When he died, I left everything in our flat exactly as it was.

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I couldn't bring myself to change anything.

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I still can't.

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Does that help you cope?

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I don't live there any more.

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I moved in with my niece and her husband.

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-Was that your idea?

-No.

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My niece, and her husband.

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And they were right. It wasn't practical.

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But I think they mainly wanted to get me away from the memories.

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Why?

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She thinks it's bad for me.

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Not that she would ever say anything.

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But I can see it in her eyes.

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I've said he can stay for a little bit.

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So, this was handed in.

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It was found on the pavement outside.

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I've had a look through.

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Is that his name?

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Leo. Leo Barberry. Yes.

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Do you think his wife's death has sent him a bit, you know...?

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-Karen!

-What? I mean, it's not normal, is it?

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Going around, dressed like that, just to be close to your wife?

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It doesn't mean that he's mentally ill.

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-Maybe not...

-Look.

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Can you keep an eye on him for me, please?

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He's been talking about having memory lapses. Thanks.

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What people do often has more effect on us than what they say.

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They'd never do anything to hurt me.

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They might not be aware.

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I don't make life easy for them.

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If you feel that you're being judged but no-one actually says so,

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then that's not easy.

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Do you really think people are judging?

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It can make it harder to see things for what they are.

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Even they don't know they're doing it.

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Especially if they don't.

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Actually, there were some things - a lot of things.

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Really?

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Things I tried to say.

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Things they ignored, looks between them.

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Between who?

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This isn't something we talked about.

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-Maybe we should have.

-Sorry?

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If we could get back to...

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It might have been different.

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About what?

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Celia?

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I'm sorry. I need some air.

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Oh, kite-flying!

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Just the sort of thing Ashley would enjoy.

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-Valerie!

-What?

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Stop thinking about Ashley.

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I'm not.

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How do you even know he's going to leave his wife?

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-Cos he told me.

-Married men have affairs all the time.

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And they mostly don't leave their wives.

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He did propose to me.

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Yeah, before he'd sorted his marriage out,

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and before you two had any idea if you could even make it work again.

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I'm sure we can.

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He's a coward.

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How can you say that?

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When you told him you had cancer, what did he do?

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He said he couldn't cope and walked away.

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-Great, I'll see you in three weeks.

-Sure.

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Our friend - he's barricaded himself in the sickbay.

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Oh, no.

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Are you OK?

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Not really.

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If you don't want to go back in...

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You spend years thinking you know someone.

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Thinking you know what's best for them.

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You talking about your husband?

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There were things we never discussed.

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Important things.

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Like?

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I'm Catholic.

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And he had no time for religion.

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No-one in my family did.

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-Was that a problem?

-No.

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I just accepted it but, in his will, he asked to be cremated.

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He didn't even want a service.

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OK.

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He was a very private man.

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So, I did what he wanted.

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I obeyed his wishes to the letter.

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Was that a problem?

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It was mainly the cremation.

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By doing that, I betrayed my faith, my God and, in the end,

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I betrayed him too.

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I see.

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Do you? No-one else did.

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You know what Jacob said?

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He said she was just using it as an excuse.

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Another way to avoid moving on.

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She?

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What?

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You said she.

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Did I? I meant me.

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Sorry.

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Today isn't going to plan at all.

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What plan?

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What if the cremation really was the most important thing?

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And no-one could see it for what it was?

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Not even me.

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No-one could see what?

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Nothing.

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Leo? He's got the window open.

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-Leo?

-Don't come any closer!

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All right, all right. I'm not going to.

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It's all right.

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You said you betrayed your faith. Could you elaborate?

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If the sanctity of the human body isn't respected, there's no

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chance of resurrection.

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And respect is critical in Christianity, yes?

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Yes.

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What about self-sacrifice? I mean, obviously, Christ sacrificed himself.

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So that's pretty fundamental, too?

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Yes.

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Is it possible that what you did was genuinely spiritual?

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Generous and Christian in the deepest sense of the words?

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How do you mean?

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Well, you respected him enough to sacrifice the thing that was most important to you.

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Like Christ did.

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-Exactly.

-I don't think we should read too much into...

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Because I was serving him and denying myself.

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If there is an afterlife,

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what you did would have made it easier for him to transition to.

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Not harder.

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I never thought of it like that.

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I don't think anyone did.

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And if he was, in fact, in heaven,

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wouldn't that have made it easier for you to let him go?

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Maybe.

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Oh, God!

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What?

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She wasn't trying to hold on to him.

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-She?

-She was trying to let him go.

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-Celia?

-But she couldn't.

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Because of what she'd done.

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-Who?

-Aunt Dora.

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What are you doing?

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And we couldn't see it.

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-Who's Aunt Dora?

-Because we didn't listen.

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We didn't take her seriously.

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-We did.

-That's why she killed herself.

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Sorry, what's going on?

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You don't know what pain feels like.

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Everywhere I go, I'm reminded of her.

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Believe me, I know what you're going through.

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You've lost someone, I suppose?

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More than once.

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I'm sorry. How do you get over it?

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I'm not sure you ever do.

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But you find a way to carry on.

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What if you can't?

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It always feels like that at first.

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But things change.

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And there are people who can help you.

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There's only one person who can help me, and she's gone.

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-And no-one else even knows I'm alive.

-Really?

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That student earlier - he was in my consulting room.

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He said that you are the best lecturer in the department.

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Did he?

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Yes. Come away from the window.

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Aunt Dora is my aunt.

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She was the one with the complex grief disorder.

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And it was her husband who died?

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Yes.

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She went to pieces.

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So we asked her to move in with us.

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And you're together?

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We're married.

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And you counselled her?

0:16:020:16:05

Yes.

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Everything we told you did happen.

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Just...not to me.

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Did she really kill herself?

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-Yes.

-When?

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Two years ago.

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Why didn't you tell me all of this?

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I wanted your assessment to be as realistic as possible.

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I had another case lined up. He backed out at the last minute.

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-So why didn't you just let me postpone it?

-Celia was on her way.

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I thought this would work.

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It was something we'd talked about,

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something we'd lived through. If only she'd kept to the script.

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I'm sorry. I thought I could do it.

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What happened?

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It was what he said about the cremation. I should have known that was the problem.

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Celia, it's not your fault Dora killed herself.

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I wish you could see what this is doing to you.

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-I'm fine.

-That's why you've got to go and see someone.

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This is the first time you've opened up since she died.

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Did you set this up? To convince her that she needed counselling?

0:17:050:17:09

You did, didn't you? You used me.

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And me.

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I'm sorry. I was desperate.

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I know you're right.

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Do something about it, then.

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Yeah, I should, I suppose.

0:17:270:17:28

-Valerie!

-What?

0:17:330:17:34

-You're supposed to pull when I throw the kite up.

-Oh, sorry.

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It's just I can't stop thinking about it.

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How wonderful it would be if it worked.

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Which it won't.

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It would be a lovely wedding.

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-Stop it!

-What?

0:17:450:17:46

Stop thinking about weddings!

0:17:460:17:48

Anyway, what would you know about a functional relationship? You've never had one.

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-I have.

-You haven't been with anyone since Tyler.

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-And that was a disaster.

-Maybe I don't want to be with anyone at the moment.

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You just don't want me to be happy, that's what it is.

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You've got a cushy little number at my place, and Ashley would ruin that.

0:18:000:18:03

-That is rubbish.

-You want me to be unloved and lonely.

0:18:030:18:06

I'm doing the kite now.

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I mean, you're young, beautiful.

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You've got your whole life ahead of you.

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I'm unwanted, on the shelf.

0:18:130:18:17

Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!

0:18:200:18:22

-Why are you doing this?

-What?

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Helping me.

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I'm worried about you.

0:18:290:18:30

KNOCK ON DOOR Come in.

0:18:300:18:32

Could I have a word, please, in private?

0:18:330:18:36

Can you give me a minute?

0:18:360:18:37

You can go.

0:18:420:18:44

I'm not going to do anything, I promise.

0:18:440:18:45

So there was no other patient, was there? No last-minute cancellation?

0:18:470:18:50

-No.

-Everything you've told me since I've arrived - that's a lie?

0:18:500:18:53

-I'm sorry.

-What else have you lied about?

0:18:530:18:56

He lied to me.

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I was trying to help you.

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That doesn't make it right.

0:18:590:19:01

Or very ethical.

0:19:010:19:02

-Did you lie to Aunt Dora?

-What about?

0:19:020:19:05

You never really wanted to treat her.

0:19:050:19:07

Because she was family.

0:19:070:19:09

But you begged me.

0:19:090:19:10

You didn't take her seriously.

0:19:100:19:12

I did everything by the book!

0:19:120:19:14

How do I know that isn't a lie?

0:19:140:19:16

Actually, he's right.

0:19:160:19:18

The danger is, you get too close or take things too seriously.

0:19:180:19:22

If you'd explained the cremation to her the way he did...

0:19:220:19:25

Counselling people you're close to is never a good idea.

0:19:250:19:27

-Why did you stop her sessions?

-I didn't.

0:19:270:19:30

She said you did.

0:19:300:19:31

I told her that there was no point in carrying on unless she took it seriously.

0:19:310:19:34

So you did stop them?

0:19:340:19:35

I had to do something to shock her!

0:19:350:19:38

Is that what you were trying to do to me? Shock me?

0:19:380:19:40

You've got to move on, Celia.

0:19:400:19:42

How am I supposed to move on?

0:19:420:19:45

I found my aunt dead on our bathroom floor!

0:19:450:19:48

How do you think I feel? I was treating her.

0:19:480:19:50

And I failed!

0:19:500:19:51

His phone rang. It was in his bag.

0:19:570:19:59

So I answered it.

0:19:590:20:00

-Who was it?

-His wife.

0:20:000:20:02

-What?

-Yeah.

0:20:020:20:05

No, no, no, he...

0:20:050:20:07

She left him three months ago.

0:20:070:20:09

She wanted to know how he was after what happened outside.

0:20:090:20:13

How did she know about that?

0:20:130:20:15

She was there.

0:20:150:20:16

The reason I can't move on is because you blame me

0:20:250:20:29

-for what happened.

-I don't.

0:20:290:20:31

You don't say it, but you think it.

0:20:310:20:33

If anyone killed Aunt Dora, it's me.

0:20:330:20:36

Or neither of you.

0:20:370:20:39

Don't patronise me. It's bad enough him doing it.

0:20:400:20:43

Well, there is another way of looking at this.

0:20:440:20:47

When I arrived, you told me to get her to open up,

0:20:470:20:50

try to get her to think about things differently.

0:20:500:20:53

You told him that?

0:20:530:20:54

And that's what I've been doing.

0:20:540:20:56

Your aunt felt that she'd betrayed her faith, her God

0:20:560:20:59

and her husband by cremating him and denying him a place in heaven, yes?

0:20:590:21:04

That's what she said.

0:21:040:21:05

And you reckon that she couldn't forgive herself,

0:21:050:21:09

she couldn't move on and, ultimately, couldn't go on living?

0:21:090:21:11

It's a guess, yes, but it seems likely.

0:21:110:21:14

-And she was quite devout?

-Very.

0:21:140:21:16

And she probably knew more about Christianity than any of us?

0:21:160:21:19

Obviously.

0:21:190:21:20

So, if I could work out that, by following the wishes

0:21:210:21:25

in the will, that was compassionate...

0:21:250:21:27

And Christian.

0:21:290:21:30

..then maybe she could, too.

0:21:300:21:32

She didn't say anything in our sessions.

0:21:330:21:35

Trying to explain faith to someone who clearly doesn't believe

0:21:350:21:40

can feel like a waste of time.

0:21:400:21:42

The week before she died, she talked about heaven a lot.

0:21:430:21:46

She was just rambling.

0:21:460:21:48

What if she wasn't, though?

0:21:480:21:49

What if she decided he was there after all?

0:21:490:21:53

Then why would she kill herself?

0:21:530:21:55

Because she was trying to join him.

0:21:550:21:57

That doesn't make sense.

0:21:590:22:01

Well, not to you, maybe to her.

0:22:010:22:04

And it would be wrong.

0:22:040:22:05

A terrible mistake on so many levels.

0:22:050:22:08

Maybe.

0:22:090:22:11

But that's her mistake, not yours.

0:22:110:22:12

-Why did you tell me your wife had died?

-I didn't. I said I lost her.

0:22:150:22:18

Yes, but you knew I thought she was dead.

0:22:180:22:20

She might as well be.

0:22:200:22:21

She won't talk to me, she won't see me.

0:22:210:22:23

Actually, she's on her way.

0:22:230:22:24

Really?

0:22:260:22:27

She said that you tried to hit her boyfriend.

0:22:270:22:29

He stole the woman I love.

0:22:290:22:30

-And he hit you back?

-Yeah, well, he's bigger than me.

0:22:300:22:33

-So why did you say you didn't know who'd attacked you?

-She'll bring him!

0:22:330:22:36

-I've got to get out of here!

-No. She's coming on her own.

0:22:360:22:39

Please. I'd rather you stayed.

0:22:390:22:41

Why?

0:22:410:22:42

Because I'm worried that you're a danger to yourself.

0:22:420:22:44

Sometimes I think it's the only way she'll realise how much I need her.

0:22:490:22:52

Do you think you'd really do it?

0:22:540:22:56

I don't know. Maybe.

0:22:590:23:00

-There's always something you can do.

-Is there?

0:23:030:23:05

-Otherwise you're just defeatist.

-Or realistic.

0:23:050:23:07

You've got no business being a counsellor.

0:23:070:23:10

Not everyone wants to be helped.

0:23:100:23:12

When you've passed your assessment, I might take your advice. Until then...

0:23:120:23:16

What do you mean, when? He was brilliant.

0:23:160:23:20

-What, that? That doesn't count.

-Why not?

0:23:200:23:22

Because the whole thing fell apart. There was no session.

0:23:220:23:25

You can't do this to me.

0:23:250:23:26

I have nothing to assess you on.

0:23:260:23:29

It's not my fault your set-up didn't work.

0:23:290:23:31

-Still.

-So you lied to me,

0:23:310:23:34

-you've wasted my time, and you manipulated me.

-And me.

0:23:340:23:37

-I could complain about all of this.

-Fine.

0:23:380:23:40

If you think it will do you any good.

0:23:400:23:42

Do you know what? I took on board everything you said.

0:23:420:23:45

All the lies.

0:23:450:23:47

I addressed the problem,

0:23:470:23:50

I even found a way to positively reframe Dora's narrative.

0:23:500:23:52

Hypothetically.

0:23:520:23:54

-You did say he got me to open up.

-I even found a way to reframe your narrative.

0:23:540:23:57

-Which, incidentally, was every bit as poisonous as Dora's.

-Don't get above yourself.

0:23:570:24:01

I haven't forgotten that snide little remark about counselling people too close to you.

0:24:010:24:05

-I was agreeing with you!

-You don't know the first thing about Celia.

0:24:050:24:08

Or me, or our relationship.

0:24:080:24:10

He was trying to help.

0:24:100:24:11

And you've got no idea what was going on in Dora's brain.

0:24:110:24:14

No-one does.

0:24:140:24:15

Valerie, you are not over the hill.

0:24:190:24:21

And anyway, it's not like you only get one chance to meet someone in your 20s and then that's it.

0:24:210:24:24

Well, it feels like it.

0:24:240:24:26

Look at Ruhma and Heston.

0:24:260:24:28

I'm not like them.

0:24:280:24:30

There will be someone for you.

0:24:300:24:32

Just not Ashley.

0:24:320:24:33

He is very persistent.

0:24:330:24:35

So is a stalker.

0:24:350:24:37

Oh, he's not as bad as all that!

0:24:370:24:39

Actually, he sort of idolises me.

0:24:390:24:42

When it suits him. And when it doesn't, he dumps you.

0:24:420:24:45

What if I could get him to change?

0:24:450:24:46

You can't.

0:24:460:24:48

-I could try.

-Seriously?

0:24:480:24:50

I know what you're saying, but what if he did change?

0:24:500:24:53

Into what? Into a man who doesn't cheat on his wife?

0:24:530:24:57

Into a man who doesn't leave when someone tells them

0:24:570:24:59

they've got cancer?

0:24:590:25:00

All right.

0:25:020:25:03

He couldn't be more wrong for you.

0:25:040:25:05

And you know that.

0:25:070:25:08

Do you often think you'd be better off dead?

0:25:160:25:18

Quite a lot.

0:25:200:25:22

But I don't know if I'd really do it.

0:25:220:25:26

You know, it's a sign of depression.

0:25:270:25:29

And depression is an illness, just like any other.

0:25:290:25:33

And there are people who can help you get better.

0:25:330:25:36

-Can they bring Ali back?

-She's not dead.

0:25:360:25:38

-But she still cares about you.

-Does she?

0:25:390:25:41

Yeah, otherwise she wouldn't be on her way.

0:25:410:25:43

When she sees me like this, she'll remember why she left me.

0:25:430:25:46

-Apparently, I'm too clingy.

-Maybe you should let her go.

0:25:460:25:49

What?

0:25:490:25:51

If you didn't try so hard, she might see why

0:25:510:25:53

she was with you in the first place.

0:25:530:25:55

That would bring her back?

0:25:570:25:59

Probably not.

0:26:010:26:02

But what you're doing isn't working, is it?

0:26:060:26:08

No.

0:26:100:26:11

Look.

0:26:140:26:15

If she cares enough about you to come

0:26:150:26:17

and see you now, then maybe she cares enough to help you get better.

0:26:170:26:22

I've just wasted a whole afternoon.

0:26:270:26:28

It wasn't a total waste.

0:26:280:26:30

I'll have to come back and do it all over again.

0:26:300:26:32

You made a real difference to me.

0:26:320:26:33

-And to Jacob.

-Really?

0:26:330:26:36

We will talk about what happened now.

0:26:360:26:37

Maybe not right away.

0:26:370:26:39

-Look, if you'd just been honest with me from the start...

-Sorry.

0:26:390:26:42

I've worked really hard for this. Weeks, months.

0:26:420:26:44

-I'm sure it'll be fine.

-And then he comes and messes me around, he just lies to me, takes advantage of me.

0:26:440:26:48

-He wasn't thinking.

-Yeah, well, he had no right.

0:26:480:26:51

Dora's death hit him harder than he realises.

0:26:510:26:54

-I'm going to report him for this.

-Why?

0:26:540:26:56

Because people need to know about him.

0:26:560:26:58

But it could backfire on you. And you're just starting out.

0:26:580:27:01

-Yeah, I doubt it.

-You were brilliant in there.

0:27:010:27:03

And you'll make a wonderful counsellor.

0:27:030:27:05

Why jeopardise that?

0:27:050:27:07

Because I'm not going to let him get away with this.

0:27:070:27:10

There is a cowboy looking at me from across the road.

0:27:140:27:18

I need more time.

0:27:200:27:21

Take as much as you want.

0:27:210:27:24

How long do you think you'll need, roughly?

0:27:240:27:26

-Maybe we deserve what's coming to us.

-That's ridiculous.

0:27:260:27:29

It's not like we brought it on ourselves.

0:27:290:27:31

You can't stop here!

0:27:310:27:33

-Says who?

-Says us!

0:27:330:27:35

Jimmi risks his counselling qualification when he turns the tables on his assessor. Ayesha has some home truths for Valerie, and Emma discovers an injured man wearing a dress.