29/08/2011 EastEnders


29/08/2011

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Transcript


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All right, champ!

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What d'you fancy doing today?

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You can't keep this silent treatment up. You're going to have to talk to me at some point.

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'We've a team of researchers here in the park, tracking the elephants and letting me know what's going on.'

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-Remind me why we're going to the pub at alki-o'clock?

-Cos I want to get a swift one in before we open up.

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-Take the edge off.

-Still don't see why we got to work today.

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Thought I was the slacker in the family, not you.

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We've worked bank holidays before. What's so special about this one?

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Nothing.

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Here we go... one for you, one for you...

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# Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you,

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-# Happy Birthday dear Anthony... #

-All together!

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# ..Happy Birthday to you! #

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-There you go. Bet you thought we'd forgot, didn't you?

-Course I didn't.

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-Cheers, Alfie.

-Twenty-five! I remember being that age.

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-You got so much to look forward to.

-Yeah. And you could still knock back the booze without a raging hangover.

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Which is why our real plan for the day is a beer-fest in here...

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followed by a special birthday surprise. Why are you worried?

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Cos I know what your special surprises are like!

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-Line your stomach with this, then.

-Cheers, Kat.

-Shenice helped me make it.

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Where is she? She was here a minute ago.

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Here Birthday boy, come and blow it out, make a wish.

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DIALLING THEN ANSWERING MACHINE CLICKS ON

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'Hello, this is the Moon family. Leave a message. We'll call you back.

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Morning, lads.

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# Happy Birthday to you Happy birthday to you Happy birthday dear Anthony... #

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'How can you be 25 and I haven't aged a day?

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'I'm sorry I can't be there. Have a good one, son.'

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Son...

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'Messages deleted.'

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Bet you can't wait to get back to the Spanish weather.

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You won't get any summer colds over there!

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Had a good time, though, didn't we?

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I'll miss you and Alfie.

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Can't spend your last day cooped up in here.

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How about we... go for a picnic?

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We could invite Tiff and Bobby.

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Let's go downstairs and have cake with the boys.

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It's getting more homely, don't you think?

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-What's that smell?

-It's the fish from the shop.

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Lovely. You ready, then?

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You sure you still want to come? I mean, after...

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Look, just cos it's not going to be a double wedding any more

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-don't mean I can't be involved in my daughter's big day.

-Really?

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Really.

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-I wish you could come.

-More time I spend at work, more money we'll have in the bank.

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He's right, and there'll be other wedding shows.

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I doubt they'll all have the theme "brides on a budget".

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Still, can't all be Kate and Wills, can we?

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-Whatever we do, I know it'll be special.

-See you later.

-See you later.

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-Were the police asking questions about Ryan again?

-Yeah.

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They're just worried. Cos he had to go away.

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For a while, like Mum and Dad? Or forever?

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Well, I know that he's out there somewhere, and that he's safe.

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But he can't come back to London. For a little while anyway.

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That's why you've been upset?

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-Mm.

-You've still got me.

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I know.

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DOORBELL RINGS

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You go upstairs and get ready for Shenice, OK?

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What you been saying to Ryan?

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-I haven't heard from him in days, and I know it's down to you!

-You don't know anything.

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I know that we were fine before you stuck your nose in!

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-What have you been saying to him to put him off me?

-Nothing.

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This is nothing to do with you. It's all down to me.

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-Don't want to go.

-Shenice is going back to Spain tomorrow, isn't she?

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-Don't want to go with YOU! I want to go with Mum.

-Mum can't have you, so tough! Bobby!

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All right, Bobby? Come here, mate.

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Bobby... Bobby! You listen to me, you are going to that picnic.

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-I don't want to go with you!

-Whoa, hold on.

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Your dad's going to no picnic. He's going to have a drink in the bar with the lads.

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Ant's birthday, more the merrier, eh? And you, young man, go upstairs with Shenice and Kat. Good boy.

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Have you or Mo said anything to anyone about...?

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Course not! Schtum, innit? Come and have a laugh with the lads. Love to see you.

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-Kat'll keep an eye on Bobby. Come on.

-I'd rather stay at home.

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Here, I done you some breakfast.

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I had my breakfast at the appropriate time.

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And I ain't partial to fry-ups. Gives me heartburn.

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-My Andrew loves a morning fry-up.

-That'll account for his size.

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You eat it, stop it going to waste.

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Food don't come cheap these days. And that reminds me, you'd better get a job, start paying your way.

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Cos I can't be worrying about bills. Dr Khan said I mustn't be put under stress on account of me migraines.

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Oh, I was doing a wash, so I done your smalls.

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"Small" being an overstatement. And I done some of your dresses.

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-Unless you intend to hang around in that thing all day?

-I love my kimono! Comes from Japan.

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Fancy yourself as a geisha girl, do you?

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Out me way. What a mess.

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Morning, ladies.

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-What do you think of my kimono, Arthur?

-Yeah, it's nice.

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Oh, my days, I overslept! I'm s'posed to be working with Darren on the car lot.

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Ain't you got time to have a few words with Whitney? She needs her friends at the moment.

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I'll try and see her after work. Kinda thought she wanted her own space right now.

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I shouldn't have thought so, Arthur.

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Great strapping lad like you - you can't go to work on an empty stomach. Here, I've done you a breakfast.

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Don't see you in here very often.

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Just fancied something quick and easy.

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I suppose you don't do ready meals, being in the catering trade.

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My Stace calls them No Mates Meals. On account of, you tend to...

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I'm told the toad in the hole's very good.

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How could he just go without a word?

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I know we hadn't been going out that long, but I thought we had a real connection.

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-You hardly know him, Lauren!

-You wouldn't understand.

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No. Cos I've never had that with anyone, have I? Except for Billie, and he's dead!

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-Yeah, and everyone else has been a user, or a liar, or just plain twisted up here.

-OK, Whitney.

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I'm sick of your whining! Last week you said it's all about you. Who's it about now, Lauren?

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Who's doing that now, eh? Have you even thought about how I might feel? In the last few days?

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I've lost my brother! And how I feel so sad about Rob, after everything he did to me.

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And I don't even know why!

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Sorry. I didn't think.

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Just go... just go.

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I thought we'd go to the Vic for a drink.

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I've got more important things to do with my time.

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I promised Jim I'd make him a batch of fancies. That is, if I can find my cake tins.

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You ain't shifted things around, have you?

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-Cos you know I don't like no-one fiddling with my drawers.

-No change there, then.

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-I'll go on my own then, shall I?

-What?

0:10:050:10:07

-I'll go on my own then, shall I?

-Yes, if you like.

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Oh.

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Listen, sweetheart, I don't want you out all day cos you've got duties to do.

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-Paddy's not here today and them glasses are not going to pick up themselves.

-Oi, you.

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What'd your last slave die of?

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-I don't mind.

-Thank you. See, you don't mind. Good girl.

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I'm glad you changed your mind, mate.

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-Like you said, it's good to be amongst friends.

-Shouldn't you be wearing black?

-Kat!

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-Mate, I didn't say nothing. It was her.

-If it ain't Hugh Hefner!

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Except Hugh Hefner doesn't have to claim his wife's dead to pull the birds.

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-And he's twice your age!

-Kat!

-Who else you told?

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Hello again.

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Listen, Ian, mate, it'll be old news by tomorrow.

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Look, who cares? Things can't get any worse. You going to come over and join us for a drink?

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I'd love to, but I've got to keep a straight head to sort the picnic out. The lads'll look after you!

0:11:090:11:15

-You know the boys, don't you?

-Barely.

-They're the Moons.

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-They'll be all right. Ant, Ty, got room for one more?

-Yeah, s'pose.

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Want a cushion for that chair, Granddad?

0:11:220:11:25

-Why was Mo calling you Hugh Hefner?

-THEY LAUGH

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I hate bank holidays. All this enforced jollity.

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You're a hard woman you know, Cora Cross.

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-I'll pop over and see my old friend, Dot.

-Patrick Trueman, you are going nowhere.

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Now put your hand in your pocket. It's your round.

0:11:520:11:56

-Patrick? Patrick Trueman?

-Yes?

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Dot has told me SO much about you.

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-I'm her little sister, Rose.

-I didn't know that Dot had a sister.

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She didn't mention me to you?

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Um...

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Oh, Rose!

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Yes, I remember now. She did mention it. Can I get you a drink, my dear?

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I'll have a gin and it, please.

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Very exotic.

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I'm Cora.

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And I've got your number.

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-The cars are all done.

-Right. Well, sure we can find you something else to do.

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-Or you could give me the rest of the day off.

-I need you here!

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Well, I will need you here, you know. It's going to get busy.

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I put a special promotion online this morning. The punters are going to be flocking any second.

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Darren, mate, bruv... it's gone three o'clock, man!

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If anyone was going to come, they would have come already.

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-Go on.

-Good times, brother!

-See you later.

-Later on.

0:13:050:13:10

Oi, come on. Are you two going to be like this all day?

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-He started it.

-She did!

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You're meant to be here for Shenice, not wind each other up.

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Whatever the problem is, for today, just forget about it.

0:13:260:13:29

-Tiff, you seen Whit?

-Yeah, Grandma Dot's with her.

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When you come to stay, after you went away and there was all that trouble...

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you was very quiet then.

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Sorry.

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You don't have to apologise. People don't have to talk all the time.

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My sister, Rose, she's never stopped since she got here - chatter chatter chatter.

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It's brought back me migraines.

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So they want me to go to this counselling place.

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-They reckon it's for people like me. "Victims".

-People like labels.

0:14:060:14:11

Makes life easier for 'em, put people into boxes, give it a name.

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But there's more to you than that, Whitney.

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You have to have strength to move on and focus on the good things.

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And you have got good things in your life... you've got your family.

0:14:230:14:27

-Ryan. Probably won't see him again.

-Oh, you will. Look at Rose...

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I never thought I'd see her again.

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There she is, large as life, more's the pity.

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Can't wait to meet her.

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She's down the pub. Some things, they never change.

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But I suppose I could pop in if you wanted to meet her?

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Well, thing is, Dot... with the police going round and that... I think there'll be talk.

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Let 'em.

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Be strong, remember? Say it to yourself. I am strong.

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I'll go and let you get ready.

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No need to get up, I'll see myself out.

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I'll see you later.

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All right, see you.

0:15:140:15:16

LAUGHTER

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Here he is, the birthday boy!

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All right, lads.

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Where's the old man?

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I think he's seeing his secret bird again.

0:15:320:15:35

He's at that antiques fair.

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Been going every August bank holiday for years.

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Hold on, you're telling me that junk in Moon & Sons comes from actual antiques dealers?

0:15:390:15:44

Couldn't he give it a swerve though, it is your birthday?

0:15:440:15:47

I ain't bothered.

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Did he get you a present, make up for it or something?

0:15:490:15:52

-Sore point, don't go there, mate.

-Nothing yet.

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Dearie me, well, that is for you, baby brother.

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Cheers, Michael.

0:16:010:16:03

Fats, come join the party, mate.

0:16:030:16:05

Better get cracking, only five years left!

0:16:050:16:08

-Whitney not with you, no?

-Nah. Why d'you ask?

0:16:090:16:12

Ain't seen her for a few days, that's all. What you drinking then?

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We won't have to scrimp that much.

0:16:170:16:19

-I know.

-I'm just going to look at these at home.

0:16:190:16:21

-Want me to come with you?

-No, you finish your drink.

0:16:210:16:24

-Hello.

-I need another payment.

0:16:480:16:52

Hmm. No. You get paid the rest on completion, as agreed.

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I can't wait that long.

0:16:590:17:00

Then I suggest you try harder.

0:17:000:17:03

You need to be cosying up to him a bit, what you doing?

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You don't even know where he is, do you?

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Where is he? See, you don't know.

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You want more money - earn it.

0:17:120:17:15

I need to see you.

0:17:430:17:45

-Cheers.

-Happy birthday, brother.

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Mate! Three more, please.

0:17:500:17:53

Dot, Dot! Come here!

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Is that her? She's made friends, anyway.

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Dot, this is Patrick.

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Well, I'm well aware of that, seeing as he's Jim's best friend.

0:18:000:18:03

-I thought Dot told you about me?

-And this is Cora.

0:18:030:18:06

You was at my Tanya's wedding.

0:18:060:18:09

You're married to Max's father, right?

0:18:090:18:13

That is correct.

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And I believe you're Tanya's mother.

0:18:150:18:18

Yeah. I suppose that means we were family once.

0:18:180:18:21

Yes. I suppose it does, in a sort of a way. If you'll excuse me.

0:18:240:18:29

Alfie, could I have a tomato juice. Whitney, what do you want?

0:18:290:18:34

I think I'll leave you to it, Dot.

0:18:340:18:38

I can't believe they're sisters.

0:18:380:18:41

They're sisters all right. She's Baby Jane, and she's Blanche.

0:18:410:18:45

All they need is a wheelchair.

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Your sister's a bit of a live-wire ain't she, eh, Dot?

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Half-sister.

0:18:520:18:53

I suppose that is one way of putting it.

0:18:530:18:56

Thank you, sweetheart.

0:18:560:18:57

You going to fill me in on the locals?

0:18:570:18:59

If you knew me better, you would know that I ain't one to gossip.

0:18:590:19:03

Of course. Do forgive me.

0:19:030:19:05

Mind you, his auntie by marriage, Jean, she's got an illness.

0:19:050:19:12

Passed down through the family.

0:19:120:19:14

Once you get started on the Slaters, you don't know where to stop.

0:19:140:19:19

It ain't your fault, you know? Ryan leaving like that.

0:19:190:19:22

You're a lot stronger than you think, Whitney Dean.

0:19:220:19:26

Hi. Fats, can you give us a minute?

0:19:280:19:33

Yeah, no worries.

0:19:330:19:36

Look, I came to say I'm sorry.

0:19:390:19:41

-How big of you.

-I was well out of order before.

0:19:410:19:45

I'm in shock, I'm not thinking straight.

0:19:450:19:48

We're still mates, aren't we?

0:19:480:19:50

Bungee jumping.

0:19:500:19:51

Yep, done that.

0:19:510:19:53

No way. You can't have all done a bungee jump as well?

0:19:530:19:56

Bungee jumping, best fun I've ever had with my pants on!

0:19:560:19:59

MEN CHEER

0:19:590:20:01

Come on, you must've done one!

0:20:010:20:03

I'm sorry, lads, there is more to life

0:20:030:20:05

than fast cars and dangling off some giant elastic band.

0:20:050:20:08

This is true. There are women!

0:20:080:20:11

-Yes.

-Which is why, as a special birthday treat to Anthony,

0:20:110:20:15

we are going to a...

0:20:150:20:16

-..lap dancing club!

-No.

0:20:180:20:19

-Not after what happened last time.

-What happened?

0:20:190:20:22

-Nothing happened last time! Did it?

-I'm up for it.

0:20:220:20:25

Oh, well... I was thinking family only.

0:20:250:20:30

Alfie coming?

0:20:320:20:34

He reckons he's gotta stay here for Shenice.

0:20:340:20:36

-He'll be all right. Try him again.

-Yeah?

0:20:360:20:38

Oh dear, it's all a bit pony, isn't it?

0:20:420:20:45

If you don't want to go, put your foot down.

0:20:450:20:49

Yeah. Maybe I should.

0:20:490:20:51

All right, Whitney? Not until we've had a little chat.

0:21:000:21:03

You'll come, won't you Fats?

0:21:030:21:05

-I don't know, you know, bruv.

-Thought it was family only?

0:21:050:21:09

None of us are going, all right!

0:21:090:21:11

Half the tubes are down for engineering and a cab'll cost us a fortune.

0:21:110:21:14

-I could drive!

-There you go, we've got a chauffeur.

0:21:140:21:19

I'm still part of the party, aren't I?

0:21:190:21:21

Yes, all right. Got to get your kicks somehow, Hef.

0:21:210:21:24

Come on, bruv, it's been ages since we had a proper night out.

0:21:240:21:28

All right. Go on then.

0:21:280:21:29

Yes, good boy.

0:21:290:21:31

I was hoping for a friendlier welcome.

0:21:310:21:33

Just tell me what you want.

0:21:330:21:35

I've had the Old Bill sniffing round,

0:21:350:21:37

asking questions about my recently deceased mate.

0:21:370:21:39

-So?

-So I'd rather you left my name out

0:21:390:21:42

-of any future chats you have with them.

-Get your hand off me.

0:21:420:21:47

-Or you'll what?

-I said, get your hand off me!

0:21:470:21:49

-You all right, Whit?

-Go on, get out. And you never come back in here.

0:21:490:21:54

Cos I swear, I'll tell 'em every disgusting, dirty little detail.

0:21:540:21:57

D'you understand me?

0:21:570:21:59

It's cool, bruv, I got this one.

0:22:010:22:03

Leave it, yeah. It's not your fight, is it?

0:22:030:22:05

He's right. Save it for the ring.

0:22:050:22:08

-Who was that?

-Lee. Rob's mate.

0:22:080:22:11

-What?

-No. I know you got my back. OK?

0:22:110:22:18

See, I told you you was stronger than you looked.

0:22:180:22:21

Come on, let's get a drink.

0:22:210:22:23

Fats! You ready for some lap-action?

0:22:230:22:25

-We're off to the club, mate!

-Lap dancing?

0:22:250:22:28

No, Whit...

0:22:300:22:32

Ty, I don't know if this is going to happen.

0:22:350:22:37

You ain't bottling out on me, are you?

0:22:370:22:39

Me? Nah, course not, course not man! Let's do it, let's do it!

0:22:390:22:43

Here, have a dance on me. Have fun.

0:22:430:22:46

-Cheers, mate.

-Come on, boy.

0:22:460:22:49

Fatboy, let me take you through Tyler's Laws Of The Lap.

0:22:520:22:55

Number one, sit on your hands at all times.

0:22:550:22:59

Naughty. Number two...

0:22:590:23:01

-Where you all off to, somewhere nice?

-Just a club.

0:23:010:23:06

-Sort of... theatrical dancing.

-Oooh! How lovely.

0:23:060:23:10

-Yeah. We'll see you later, Mrs B.

-Enjoy yourselves.

-Will do.

0:23:100:23:16

-D'you want to go home?

-No. I'm fine. I just need a bit of fresh air.

0:23:200:23:25

-That Lee. He seemed all right the other week.

-I know, tell me about it.

0:23:250:23:28

I didn't think about how they all treated you, Whitney.

0:23:280:23:32

I should have been there more, instead of mooning over Ryan.

0:23:320:23:36

-He's fine. I'm fine.

-But are you?

0:23:360:23:39

I will be.

0:23:420:23:44

-What's the hold up?

-I'm a bit short.

0:23:480:23:50

You can pay me back.

0:23:520:23:54

-Jean, I can smell burning.

-So can I.

0:23:560:23:58

I see a dark cloud lifting.

0:23:580:24:01

Sorry, are you talking to me?

0:24:040:24:06

An illness?

0:24:060:24:08

It's better.

0:24:080:24:10

Not cured, but better.

0:24:100:24:12

Oh, my.

0:24:120:24:14

Your children, they will return.

0:24:180:24:22

-You have two right?

-Yes.

0:24:220:24:24

-What do you suppose she's up to now?

-Earning her keep.

0:24:240:24:27

I think I underestimated your sister.

0:24:270:24:30

Number 24, don't ask for champagne.

0:24:330:24:35

In fact, don't even ask for fizzy water.

0:24:350:24:38

No Champagne. No water... Why?

0:24:380:24:40

Number 25, it ain't a fairytale in there, mate.

0:24:400:24:43

There are no happy endings.

0:24:430:24:45

And those, my friend, are Tyler Moon's Laws Of The Lap.

0:24:450:24:49

-Right, let the dog see the rabbit.

-Yeah.

0:24:490:24:52

-Let's go and watch girls...

-What?

-..stripping.

0:24:520:24:56

-You've perked up.

-Well, it's been a while since our last bender.

0:25:040:25:08

Plus, it's me and you.

0:25:080:25:09

Come on.

0:25:090:25:11

-You definitely ain't coming in. Not after last time.

-Come on, mate!

0:25:140:25:17

-Seriously?

-Nah, just leave it, Ty.

-The rest of us can still go in though?

0:25:170:25:21

Didn't you hear rule 16? Never leave your wing-man!

0:25:210:25:24

Cheers, bruv.

0:25:240:25:26

Mate, you know what, I...

0:25:260:25:28

-I am gutted.

-Fats, sorry, mate. Another time, yeah?

0:25:280:25:33

Well, maybe, d'you know what I mean, like?

0:25:330:25:35

So how's it going?

0:25:540:25:55

She's a bit more quieter than usual.

0:25:550:25:57

I think she's putting a brave face on.

0:25:570:26:00

Reminds me of someone I know.

0:26:000:26:02

Can you have a word?

0:26:050:26:06

-And say what?

-I dunno.

0:26:060:26:08

Tell her she can still come and visit, that we won't forget her.

0:26:080:26:11

Please, Alfie, you're better at this stuff than I am.

0:26:110:26:15

-All right.

-Go back to the pub, hold the fort, yeah.

0:26:170:26:20

Hey you lot, give me five on the high!

0:26:240:26:26

Five on the low, five on the side, you're too slow!

0:26:260:26:29

Kitten, come here, I want to chat with you. Shenice come here.

0:26:290:26:32

Just want to say, right, me and Kat both feel the same way,

0:26:320:26:35

we've absolutely loved you being with us here this last month.

0:26:350:26:38

-Why does she have to go then?

-Cos she needs to be with her mum.

0:26:380:26:42

Not everyone lives with their mum.

0:26:420:26:44

Nana Pat and Grandma Carol look after us and we don't mind.

0:26:440:26:47

Though Grandma Carol won't make nuggets as much as mum.

0:26:470:26:50

Not quite the same though is it, eh, Tiff?

0:26:500:26:52

What if I want to live here more than I want to live with my mum?

0:26:520:26:56

Shenice, you know sweetheart, I'd love you to live here, but....

0:26:560:27:00

-So let her stay then!

-What?

0:27:000:27:02

-Please, Alfie!

-Please, please, please!

0:27:020:27:06

All right, let me see what I can do. CHILDREN SCREAM

0:27:060:27:09

I still reckon we should have gone to another club.

0:27:140:27:16

You've been chucked out of every other one.

0:27:160:27:18

-I'm offski.

-See you later.

0:27:180:27:20

Say hello to your dad for me, if he bothers to show.

0:27:200:27:23

-Thanks for the lift, Ian.

-Yeah, laters.

0:27:260:27:29

-So whose round is it?

-Yours.

-What?

0:27:290:27:33

Hi.

0:27:520:27:53

-Come here!

-You're joking!

0:28:160:28:18

We can do this the easy way or the hard way.

0:28:180:28:22

Your choice, darlin'! Sorry, mate, don't mind us.

0:28:220:28:25

-One last chance.

-Ian?

0:28:250:28:28

SHE MOUTHS

0:28:290:28:31

-Mandy?!

-Is she with you?

0:28:310:28:34

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0:28:540:28:56

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0:28:560:28:58

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