It is Anthony's birthday and, while Tyler arranges a special surprise for his brother, Ian finds himself in a dangerous situation. Vanessa turns to a familiar source for help.
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All right, champ!
What d'you fancy doing today?
You can't keep this silent treatment up. You're going to have to talk to me at some point.
'We've a team of researchers here in the park, tracking the elephants and letting me know what's going on.'
-Remind me why we're going to the pub at alki-o'clock?
-Cos I want to get a swift one in before we open up.
-Take the edge off.
-Still don't see why we got to work today.
Thought I was the slacker in the family, not you.
We've worked bank holidays before. What's so special about this one?
Here we go... one for you, one for you...
# Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you,
-# Happy Birthday dear Anthony... #
# ..Happy Birthday to you! #
-There you go. Bet you thought we'd forgot, didn't you?
-Course I didn't.
-Twenty-five! I remember being that age.
-You got so much to look forward to.
-Yeah. And you could still knock back the booze without a raging hangover.
Which is why our real plan for the day is a beer-fest in here...
followed by a special birthday surprise. Why are you worried?
Cos I know what your special surprises are like!
-Line your stomach with this, then.
-Shenice helped me make it.
Where is she? She was here a minute ago.
Here Birthday boy, come and blow it out, make a wish.
DIALLING THEN ANSWERING MACHINE CLICKS ON
'Hello, this is the Moon family. Leave a message. We'll call you back.
# Happy Birthday to you Happy birthday to you Happy birthday dear Anthony... #
'How can you be 25 and I haven't aged a day?
'I'm sorry I can't be there. Have a good one, son.'
Bet you can't wait to get back to the Spanish weather.
You won't get any summer colds over there!
Had a good time, though, didn't we?
I'll miss you and Alfie.
Can't spend your last day cooped up in here.
How about we... go for a picnic?
We could invite Tiff and Bobby.
Let's go downstairs and have cake with the boys.
It's getting more homely, don't you think?
-What's that smell?
-It's the fish from the shop.
Lovely. You ready, then?
You sure you still want to come? I mean, after...
Look, just cos it's not going to be a double wedding any more
-don't mean I can't be involved in my daughter's big day.
-I wish you could come.
-More time I spend at work, more money we'll have in the bank.
He's right, and there'll be other wedding shows.
I doubt they'll all have the theme "brides on a budget".
Still, can't all be Kate and Wills, can we?
-Whatever we do, I know it'll be special.
-See you later.
-See you later.
-Were the police asking questions about Ryan again?
They're just worried. Cos he had to go away.
For a while, like Mum and Dad? Or forever?
Well, I know that he's out there somewhere, and that he's safe.
But he can't come back to London. For a little while anyway.
That's why you've been upset?
-You've still got me.
You go upstairs and get ready for Shenice, OK?
What you been saying to Ryan?
-I haven't heard from him in days, and I know it's down to you!
-You don't know anything.
I know that we were fine before you stuck your nose in!
-What have you been saying to him to put him off me?
This is nothing to do with you. It's all down to me.
-Don't want to go.
-Shenice is going back to Spain tomorrow, isn't she?
-Don't want to go with YOU! I want to go with Mum.
-Mum can't have you, so tough! Bobby!
All right, Bobby? Come here, mate.
Bobby... Bobby! You listen to me, you are going to that picnic.
-I don't want to go with you!
-Whoa, hold on.
Your dad's going to no picnic. He's going to have a drink in the bar with the lads.
Ant's birthday, more the merrier, eh? And you, young man, go upstairs with Shenice and Kat. Good boy.
Have you or Mo said anything to anyone about...?
Course not! Schtum, innit? Come and have a laugh with the lads. Love to see you.
-Kat'll keep an eye on Bobby. Come on.
-I'd rather stay at home.
Here, I done you some breakfast.
I had my breakfast at the appropriate time.
And I ain't partial to fry-ups. Gives me heartburn.
-My Andrew loves a morning fry-up.
-That'll account for his size.
You eat it, stop it going to waste.
Food don't come cheap these days. And that reminds me, you'd better get a job, start paying your way.
Cos I can't be worrying about bills. Dr Khan said I mustn't be put under stress on account of me migraines.
Oh, I was doing a wash, so I done your smalls.
"Small" being an overstatement. And I done some of your dresses.
-Unless you intend to hang around in that thing all day?
-I love my kimono! Comes from Japan.
Fancy yourself as a geisha girl, do you?
Out me way. What a mess.
-What do you think of my kimono, Arthur?
-Yeah, it's nice.
Oh, my days, I overslept! I'm s'posed to be working with Darren on the car lot.
Ain't you got time to have a few words with Whitney? She needs her friends at the moment.
I'll try and see her after work. Kinda thought she wanted her own space right now.
I shouldn't have thought so, Arthur.
Great strapping lad like you - you can't go to work on an empty stomach. Here, I've done you a breakfast.
Don't see you in here very often.
Just fancied something quick and easy.
I suppose you don't do ready meals, being in the catering trade.
My Stace calls them No Mates Meals. On account of, you tend to...
I'm told the toad in the hole's very good.
How could he just go without a word?
I know we hadn't been going out that long, but I thought we had a real connection.
-You hardly know him, Lauren!
-You wouldn't understand.
No. Cos I've never had that with anyone, have I? Except for Billie, and he's dead!
-Yeah, and everyone else has been a user, or a liar, or just plain twisted up here.
I'm sick of your whining! Last week you said it's all about you. Who's it about now, Lauren?
Who's doing that now, eh? Have you even thought about how I might feel? In the last few days?
I've lost my brother! And how I feel so sad about Rob, after everything he did to me.
And I don't even know why!
Sorry. I didn't think.
Just go... just go.
I thought we'd go to the Vic for a drink.
I've got more important things to do with my time.
I promised Jim I'd make him a batch of fancies. That is, if I can find my cake tins.
You ain't shifted things around, have you?
-Cos you know I don't like no-one fiddling with my drawers.
-No change there, then.
-I'll go on my own then, shall I?
-I'll go on my own then, shall I?
-Yes, if you like.
Listen, sweetheart, I don't want you out all day cos you've got duties to do.
-Paddy's not here today and them glasses are not going to pick up themselves.
What'd your last slave die of?
-I don't mind.
-Thank you. See, you don't mind. Good girl.
I'm glad you changed your mind, mate.
-Like you said, it's good to be amongst friends.
-Shouldn't you be wearing black?
-Mate, I didn't say nothing. It was her.
-If it ain't Hugh Hefner!
Except Hugh Hefner doesn't have to claim his wife's dead to pull the birds.
-And he's twice your age!
-Who else you told?
Listen, Ian, mate, it'll be old news by tomorrow.
Look, who cares? Things can't get any worse. You going to come over and join us for a drink?
I'd love to, but I've got to keep a straight head to sort the picnic out. The lads'll look after you!
-You know the boys, don't you?
-They're the Moons.
-They'll be all right. Ant, Ty, got room for one more?
Want a cushion for that chair, Granddad?
-Why was Mo calling you Hugh Hefner?
I hate bank holidays. All this enforced jollity.
You're a hard woman you know, Cora Cross.
-I'll pop over and see my old friend, Dot.
-Patrick Trueman, you are going nowhere.
Now put your hand in your pocket. It's your round.
-Patrick? Patrick Trueman?
Dot has told me SO much about you.
-I'm her little sister, Rose.
-I didn't know that Dot had a sister.
She didn't mention me to you?
Yes, I remember now. She did mention it. Can I get you a drink, my dear?
I'll have a gin and it, please.
And I've got your number.
-The cars are all done.
-Right. Well, sure we can find you something else to do.
-Or you could give me the rest of the day off.
-I need you here!
Well, I will need you here, you know. It's going to get busy.
I put a special promotion online this morning. The punters are going to be flocking any second.
Darren, mate, bruv... it's gone three o'clock, man!
If anyone was going to come, they would have come already.
-Good times, brother!
-See you later.
Oi, come on. Are you two going to be like this all day?
-He started it.
You're meant to be here for Shenice, not wind each other up.
Whatever the problem is, for today, just forget about it.
-Tiff, you seen Whit?
-Yeah, Grandma Dot's with her.
When you come to stay, after you went away and there was all that trouble...
you was very quiet then.
You don't have to apologise. People don't have to talk all the time.
My sister, Rose, she's never stopped since she got here - chatter chatter chatter.
It's brought back me migraines.
So they want me to go to this counselling place.
-They reckon it's for people like me. "Victims".
-People like labels.
Makes life easier for 'em, put people into boxes, give it a name.
But there's more to you than that, Whitney.
You have to have strength to move on and focus on the good things.
And you have got good things in your life... you've got your family.
-Ryan. Probably won't see him again.
-Oh, you will. Look at Rose...
I never thought I'd see her again.
There she is, large as life, more's the pity.
Can't wait to meet her.
She's down the pub. Some things, they never change.
But I suppose I could pop in if you wanted to meet her?
Well, thing is, Dot... with the police going round and that... I think there'll be talk.
Be strong, remember? Say it to yourself. I am strong.
I'll go and let you get ready.
No need to get up, I'll see myself out.
I'll see you later.
All right, see you.
Here he is, the birthday boy!
All right, lads.
Where's the old man?
I think he's seeing his secret bird again.
He's at that antiques fair.
Been going every August bank holiday for years.
Hold on, you're telling me that junk in Moon & Sons comes from actual antiques dealers?
Couldn't he give it a swerve though, it is your birthday?
I ain't bothered.
Did he get you a present, make up for it or something?
-Sore point, don't go there, mate.
Dearie me, well, that is for you, baby brother.
Fats, come join the party, mate.
Better get cracking, only five years left!
-Whitney not with you, no?
-Nah. Why d'you ask?
Ain't seen her for a few days, that's all. What you drinking then?
We won't have to scrimp that much.
-I'm just going to look at these at home.
-Want me to come with you?
-No, you finish your drink.
-I need another payment.
Hmm. No. You get paid the rest on completion, as agreed.
I can't wait that long.
Then I suggest you try harder.
You need to be cosying up to him a bit, what you doing?
You don't even know where he is, do you?
Where is he? See, you don't know.
You want more money - earn it.
I need to see you.
-Happy birthday, brother.
Mate! Three more, please.
Dot, Dot! Come here!
Is that her? She's made friends, anyway.
Dot, this is Patrick.
Well, I'm well aware of that, seeing as he's Jim's best friend.
-I thought Dot told you about me?
-And this is Cora.
You was at my Tanya's wedding.
You're married to Max's father, right?
That is correct.
And I believe you're Tanya's mother.
Yeah. I suppose that means we were family once.
Yes. I suppose it does, in a sort of a way. If you'll excuse me.
Alfie, could I have a tomato juice. Whitney, what do you want?
I think I'll leave you to it, Dot.
I can't believe they're sisters.
They're sisters all right. She's Baby Jane, and she's Blanche.
All they need is a wheelchair.
Your sister's a bit of a live-wire ain't she, eh, Dot?
I suppose that is one way of putting it.
Thank you, sweetheart.
You going to fill me in on the locals?
If you knew me better, you would know that I ain't one to gossip.
Of course. Do forgive me.
Mind you, his auntie by marriage, Jean, she's got an illness.
Passed down through the family.
Once you get started on the Slaters, you don't know where to stop.
It ain't your fault, you know? Ryan leaving like that.
You're a lot stronger than you think, Whitney Dean.
Hi. Fats, can you give us a minute?
Yeah, no worries.
Look, I came to say I'm sorry.
-How big of you.
-I was well out of order before.
I'm in shock, I'm not thinking straight.
We're still mates, aren't we?
Yep, done that.
No way. You can't have all done a bungee jump as well?
Bungee jumping, best fun I've ever had with my pants on!
Come on, you must've done one!
I'm sorry, lads, there is more to life
than fast cars and dangling off some giant elastic band.
This is true. There are women!
-Which is why, as a special birthday treat to Anthony,
we are going to a...
-..lap dancing club!
-Not after what happened last time.
-Nothing happened last time! Did it?
-I'm up for it.
Oh, well... I was thinking family only.
He reckons he's gotta stay here for Shenice.
-He'll be all right. Try him again.
Oh dear, it's all a bit pony, isn't it?
If you don't want to go, put your foot down.
Yeah. Maybe I should.
All right, Whitney? Not until we've had a little chat.
You'll come, won't you Fats?
-I don't know, you know, bruv.
-Thought it was family only?
None of us are going, all right!
Half the tubes are down for engineering and a cab'll cost us a fortune.
-I could drive!
-There you go, we've got a chauffeur.
I'm still part of the party, aren't I?
Yes, all right. Got to get your kicks somehow, Hef.
Come on, bruv, it's been ages since we had a proper night out.
All right. Go on then.
Yes, good boy.
I was hoping for a friendlier welcome.
Just tell me what you want.
I've had the Old Bill sniffing round,
asking questions about my recently deceased mate.
-So I'd rather you left my name out
-of any future chats you have with them.
-Get your hand off me.
-Or you'll what?
-I said, get your hand off me!
-You all right, Whit?
-Go on, get out. And you never come back in here.
Cos I swear, I'll tell 'em every disgusting, dirty little detail.
D'you understand me?
It's cool, bruv, I got this one.
Leave it, yeah. It's not your fight, is it?
He's right. Save it for the ring.
-Who was that?
-Lee. Rob's mate.
-No. I know you got my back. OK?
See, I told you you was stronger than you looked.
Come on, let's get a drink.
Fats! You ready for some lap-action?
-We're off to the club, mate!
Ty, I don't know if this is going to happen.
You ain't bottling out on me, are you?
Me? Nah, course not, course not man! Let's do it, let's do it!
Here, have a dance on me. Have fun.
-Come on, boy.
Fatboy, let me take you through Tyler's Laws Of The Lap.
Number one, sit on your hands at all times.
Naughty. Number two...
-Where you all off to, somewhere nice?
-Just a club.
-Sort of... theatrical dancing.
-Oooh! How lovely.
-Yeah. We'll see you later, Mrs B.
-D'you want to go home?
-No. I'm fine. I just need a bit of fresh air.
-That Lee. He seemed all right the other week.
-I know, tell me about it.
I didn't think about how they all treated you, Whitney.
I should have been there more, instead of mooning over Ryan.
-He's fine. I'm fine.
-But are you?
I will be.
-What's the hold up?
-I'm a bit short.
You can pay me back.
-Jean, I can smell burning.
-So can I.
I see a dark cloud lifting.
Sorry, are you talking to me?
Not cured, but better.
Your children, they will return.
-You have two right?
-What do you suppose she's up to now?
-Earning her keep.
I think I underestimated your sister.
Number 24, don't ask for champagne.
In fact, don't even ask for fizzy water.
No Champagne. No water... Why?
Number 25, it ain't a fairytale in there, mate.
There are no happy endings.
And those, my friend, are Tyler Moon's Laws Of The Lap.
-Right, let the dog see the rabbit.
-Let's go and watch girls...
-You've perked up.
-Well, it's been a while since our last bender.
Plus, it's me and you.
-You definitely ain't coming in. Not after last time.
-Come on, mate!
-Nah, just leave it, Ty.
-The rest of us can still go in though?
Didn't you hear rule 16? Never leave your wing-man!
Mate, you know what, I...
-I am gutted.
-Fats, sorry, mate. Another time, yeah?
Well, maybe, d'you know what I mean, like?
So how's it going?
She's a bit more quieter than usual.
I think she's putting a brave face on.
Reminds me of someone I know.
Can you have a word?
-And say what?
Tell her she can still come and visit, that we won't forget her.
Please, Alfie, you're better at this stuff than I am.
-Go back to the pub, hold the fort, yeah.
Hey you lot, give me five on the high!
Five on the low, five on the side, you're too slow!
Kitten, come here, I want to chat with you. Shenice come here.
Just want to say, right, me and Kat both feel the same way,
we've absolutely loved you being with us here this last month.
-Why does she have to go then?
-Cos she needs to be with her mum.
Not everyone lives with their mum.
Nana Pat and Grandma Carol look after us and we don't mind.
Though Grandma Carol won't make nuggets as much as mum.
Not quite the same though is it, eh, Tiff?
What if I want to live here more than I want to live with my mum?
Shenice, you know sweetheart, I'd love you to live here, but....
-So let her stay then!
-Please, please, please!
All right, let me see what I can do. CHILDREN SCREAM
I still reckon we should have gone to another club.
You've been chucked out of every other one.
-See you later.
Say hello to your dad for me, if he bothers to show.
-Thanks for the lift, Ian.
-So whose round is it?
We can do this the easy way or the hard way.
Your choice, darlin'! Sorry, mate, don't mind us.
-One last chance.
-Is she with you?
Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
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Alfie invites a melancholy Ian to Anthony’s birthday drinks to cheer him up. Ian worms an invitation to the strip club by offering to drive but is disappointed when they don’t get in. Later, returning alone, he sees a woman being thrown out of the club by a man. Ian’s amazed to recognise her: it’s Mandy Salter. The man’s angry – is Mandy with Ian?
At the Moons’, Michael’s frustrated to discover Eddie’s toolbox has been moved and deletes a ‘Happy Birthday’ voicemail an absent Eddie leaves for Anthony. Michael’s intrigued to learn Eddie visits the same antiques fair annually. Anthony’s wary when Tyler wants to visit a lap dancing club. Michael urges him to back out. When Anthony’s turned away from the club Tyler refuses to leave his wingman, much to Michael’s irritation.
Whitney’s questioned by police about Ryan and urged to contact a counselling service. Upset, she accuses Lauren of not being there for her. Whitney’s comforted by Dot who’s adamant that she stay strong.. Later in the Vic, Lee turns up warning Whitney to keep quiet about his involvement with Rob. Furious, Whitney shouts for him to get out, threatening to tell the police. She’s touched when Fatboy backs her up, Lauren apologises for neglecting Whitney. Whitney’s confident; she’s going to be fine.
Vanessa demands another payment from Michael to help with Jodie’s budget wedding but he refuses. In desperation, she meets Harry.
Kat plans a farewell picnic for Shenice – she’s going back to Spain. When the kids plead with Alfie if Shenice can stay, he’s unable to say no.
Rose attempts to charm Patrick for free drinks, Cora warns her off. Having learnt the local gossip from Dot, Rose proceeds to tell Jean’s fortune - for a fee - and predicts a new love.