20/10/2011 EastEnders


20/10/2011

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Transcript


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-Girls! What are you doing? Come on!

-Alfie, you got to watch this.

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-It's so funny.

-Kat. We got packing to do. Come on.

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Only take a minute. Watch.

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-Where d'you get this from then?

-Liam sent it to us.

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Wait till you see Ian' face.

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That's brilliant. Right, come on, packing to do.

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Shenice, come on, chop chop. Move. Don't be pulling faces, come on. Run.

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Up the stairs now. Keep going. Go, go, go!

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IAN BEALE VIDEO PLAYS

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Right.

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Did Oscar get off to nursery all right?

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-Yeah. Mum, come have a look at this.

-No, I can't, darling.

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-I need you to do me a favour.

-Yeah?

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Yeah, I've got a rep coming in today.

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Only Gaynor's away and I just, I don't trust Jodie or Poppy to deal with her.

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-So you want me to?

-No, I want you to go over to Roxy's and ask her.

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-Can't you just call her?

-No, because...

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she'll just be all snotty with me, Lauren, and I...

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I just can't face it today.

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Oh, Mum...Come here.

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I'm sorry, I dunno what's the matter with me.

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I didn't feel half this bad yesterday.

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-You're bound to have ups and downs, ain't you.

-Yeah.

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-CAR HORN

-That'll be my taxi.

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I'd give anything not to have to go through this again this morning.

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-Do you want me to come with you?

-No. No. You're going to go and see Roxy.

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Where did I put the shopping list?

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-Mum, I'll take care of that.

-Really? Are you sure?

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Thank you, darling.

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-Right, I'll see you in a bit.

-See you.

-Bye.

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How long is she planning on staying, hmmm?

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Shhh... I can't just chuck her out.

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Besides, it'll only be for a day or two.

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A day or two will turn into a week or two,

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then a month or two and before you know it we'll have a lodger living with us full time, rent free.

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A bit like you, really?

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At least I don't prance around in my underwear.

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What am I supposed to do?

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I can't send her back to Ian and it's not like she's got anywhere else to go.

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Listen, take the kids to school. I'll have a word with her, all right?

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Right.

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Kids! Come on, we're off!

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-Why didn't she just ring me?

-Please. It'd get her out of a big jam and she'd be really grateful.

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It is amazing how when your mother needs a favour her attitude changes, innit.

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Please. She wouldn't ask if it weren't important.

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OK, I'll you what, just take her to playgroup and I'll do it.

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-What?

-She won't be a problem. She's got a bunch of snacks in the bag. If she's hungry just give her one.

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-No. I've got a class at half eleven.

-It'll be well over by then. It's fine, you've got my number...

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just call me if there's a problem. OK. I'll see you later, I'm gonna go and get changed. Bye!

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Was you there yesterday?

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No, but that's a weird way to pimp your car though.

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Have you seen the video that's been going round? It's so funny.

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Ah sorry. 'Scuse me, babe.

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Kat, sweet, you don't have to tell everybody.

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How would you feel if it was our car, eh?

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This is Ian we're talking about here.

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I know but the bloke's got feelings, all right.

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Go and grab the kids' bags. I'm gonna grab something from the shop. yeah?

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I know it's not much of a date but I was thinking maybe we could hang out together.

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Take her to the swings or something.

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I got work, you know, sweetness.

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But we could hook up at lunchtime in the Vic?

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Yeah?

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What time shall we say? About one?

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Yeah, I guess. See you then, OK.

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BANGING ON DOOR Ian? Oh, there you are.

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I just thought I'd come over and see if you were home before I bomb off on my holidays.

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Are you all right? How's it going?

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I'm as happy as Larry.

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-Whoever Larry was.

-Have you... spoken to the car hire people though, yeah?

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-What do you think?

-Yeah but you're covered by insurance, though, ain't you?

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-Ian, what you doing? You gotta speak to the car hire people...

-I'll phone them when I'm ready, OK?

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-Apparently, it's all over the internet.

-Really?

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I tell you what - why don't I stick the kettle on, have a cup of coffee, yeah? Give me a sec.

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'I know what he'll do. He'll go straight to the police.'

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-I've tried so hard to stay out of trouble.

-What were you thinking, Mandy?

-That it served him right.

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-How come?

-Well, apparently because he's putting me up, I've got to sleep with him...

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-on demand.

-Oh, Ian.

-Yeah, and he knows I've got nowhere else to go.

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-What about your mum?

-What, the woman I haven't spoken to in over 15 years?

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-The thing is, Mandy...

-Pat, couldn't you talk to him?

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Y'know, stop him from going to the police?

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Or if has, maybe get him to drop the charges?

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-Well, I don't see how anything I might say would make a difference.

-Please?

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Oh, and could you pick up a few of my things while you're there an' all?

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And on top of all that I've lumbered myself going on a date with Fatboy this lunchtime.

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Since when have you been going out with Fatboy?

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I don't know. I felt sorry for him and now I'm stuck with it.

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-Anyway, what about you?

-What about me?

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-You and Tyler, yesterday.

-Yeah, it was all right.

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All right's a long way from fantastic.

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I don't really want to talk about it.

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Oh, come here Whit...

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-Maybe you could go on a date with Fatboy then.

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-Why not? You'd be good together.

-No! I'm not going out with Fatboy just to sort out your mess.

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Shenice, you seen Alfie?

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-No.

-Where is he? We should've left by now.

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Got about two hours' kip last night.

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Just lying there, thinking, imagining. You know.

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All the things I should've said. All the things I should've done.

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it's a good job she didn't stay here last night...

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-Whoa, whoa, whoa...

-I'd have ended up on a murder charge.

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-OK, you've got a right to be angry...

-I only got the damned car for her.

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Just trying to make her happy.

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What kicked it all off, then?

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Wait till Jane hears about this. She'll laugh her head off.

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No, no. Ian, this time next week it'll all be forgotten, mate.

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Is it me?

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It's not like this is the first time this has happened, is it?

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Well. What do you reckon? Is it me?

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-I dunno, mate.

-I tell you what, I'm through with women. All right.

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-I don't need 'em. They're just a damned expense.

-I know you feel...

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From now on it's just going to be me and Bobby. Just the two of us.

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And to hell with everyone else...

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What about school?

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It's going to be all round the playground, innit?

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The kid's going to hate me.

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No, no. It'll be all right.

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It is me, innit?

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-KNOCK ON DOOR

-Ian?

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Oh...

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Pat, I'm...

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I'm just talking to Alfie for a bit, all right?

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Yeah. Course.

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I'll come back another time.

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-Listen, Ian...

-Alf.

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I don't know what I'd have done without you this morning.

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-Tommy's crying.

-In a minute!

-Why haven't we left yet?

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Good question.

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CAVALRY CHARGE RINGTONE

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Gawd's sake!

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-Right, come on then, what's the secret?

-Secret?

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Yeah, you and Kat. You seem happy.

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-You don't know the half of it.

-What? You telling me you're not?

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No. Ian, if our relationship was based on happiness, me and Kat would've split up yonks ago.

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All right, what then?

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I dunno.

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Yeah. Right. It's like yesterday, right.

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Me and Kat, in the pub, having a right giggle and a gurgle. Like it used to be.

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Bit of a laugh, even snuck upstairs for a bit of how's your father.

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-And may I say, the how's your father was very good...

-Sounds all right.

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But anyway I come down later to tell her lunch was ready and she started crying.

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What's all that about? She said she was pre-menstrual, which is cobblers

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- she finished her period last week, so that was a lie, wasn't it?

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Did you pick her up on it? What, and have a row with her?

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Trust me, mate, you cannot win a row with Kat Slater.

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I spend half my time tip-toeing around her.

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Technically, unless a woman is actually HAVING her period, she's always premenstrual.

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-Think about it.

-Sounds about right.

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Unless she's having an early menopause.

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Nah.

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You've gotta be careful around Kat... She's got... stuff.

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I mean, we've all got stuff, but that girl has got a LOT of stuff.

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You've got the Lynne stuff, the Zoe stuff, the Dad stuff, the Mum stuff...

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you don't wanna go there... she won't even talk about it...

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Uncle Harry stuff... Ronnie stuff, Michael stuff, baby Tommy...

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course, you don't wanna go there either.

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And of course, the miscarriage.

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Which is what?

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That's only top ten. Actually, that's nine.

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Miscarriage?

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Alf, I'm sorry, mate.

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-It's all right. You don't mind if I don't talk about it?

-No, it's fine.

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So come on then, what about the Alfie stuff?

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Oh, yeah, she's got the Alfie stuff going on as well.

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-No, not her... you. Your stuff?

-Me?

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I've got the Kat stuff, ain't I? Which is more than enough.

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So how do you do it?

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-How do I do what?

-How'd you cope with it all?

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I just...

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I just do, don't I?

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I love her. I love her with all my heart.

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I know it's not rational.

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Thinking about it, no sane person would willingly take on Kat Slater.

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But you knew what she was like before you got together.

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Yeah, yeah, I knew she was trouble.

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You've only got to spend two minutes with Kat to know that.

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But I didn't quite realise how much trouble.

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But I don't regret it, Ian.

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Seriously, I wouldn't change a thing, mate. I must be mad.

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You spend half your life, right, looking for the perfect woman, the person that'll answer all your needs.

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-But you know what?

-What?

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That person does not exist. Actually, that's not quite true

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cos that person does exist but it's up here,

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in your imagination.

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What do you find so funny?

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You are talking to a man who's been married four times.

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Yeah, I know.

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And I'm still looking.

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I think we're both mad.

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-So you don't know if he's phoned the police or not?

-He was practically crying. What was I supposed to do?

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What, Ian? Crying?

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This may come as a surprise to you, Mandy, but Ian's got a sensitive side. He always did have.

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He'll drive you nuts with all that selfishness and stupidity, and then

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he'll turn round suddenly and do something really kind and thoughtful when you least expect it.

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D'you remember Ethel?

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Yeah. What about her?

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When she died, she didn't have two pennies to rub together.

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Ian paid for the funeral. Big do. Must have cost him thousands.

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He didn't even blink.

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I could tell you a dozen stories like that.

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Did you pick up my things?

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No, Mandy, I did not pick up your things. Like I said, it wasn't the right moment.

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All right, I feel bad now.

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Not half as bad as him, I don't suppose.

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I shouldn't've done it, should I?

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Smashing up his car. I mean, why did I?

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You tell me.

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The thing is, Pat, when I meet a bloke and he's all keen,

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I just end up thinking,

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"Who is this idiot? What is he after?" It doesn't occur to me that he might actually like me.

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I mean, who would?

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But that's you, innit?

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Do you think he does? Like me, I mean?

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All Ian wants is to be loved.

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That's the beginning and the end of it.

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What's happened to the milk?

0:14:070:14:09

-Oh,...I'll go get some more.

-You're not even dressed yet.

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-I can't wait.

-Pat?

-Yeah?

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What do you think I should do?

0:14:180:14:20

I don't know, Mandy.

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What do you think you should do?

0:14:210:14:23

'I thought she'd be grateful.'

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Roof over her head.

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Central heating. Three meals a day.

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And she wouldn't have to work at that club any more.

0:14:350:14:37

This place's got to be better than where she was.

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Only she weren't.

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Grateful, I mean.

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So, I thought, right, I know what I'll do, I'll try and impress her.

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So I start taking her places, buying her things. That is the reason why I got that car.

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But the more I tried, the less grateful she was.

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It wouldn't be so bad if I didn't like her so much.

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She makes me smile.

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Maybe it's not things she needs.

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Thank you.

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Oi!... Don't ignore me like I don't exist or something.

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Whitney?

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Keep an eye on the stall, will you, darlin'?

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Oh. Who are you?

0:15:440:15:46

Pat's putting me up for a bit.

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-Is she around?

-Just popped out to get a pint of milk.

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In that case, is it all right if I wait?

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I thought yesterday,

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if I could switch my life off like you switch off a light, I probably would.

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-Is this to do with Tyler?

-No. It's not just his fault.

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-Everyone thinks it.

-Thinks what?

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Did he say something?

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And you don't want to?

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I can probably guess, darlin'. The thing is, I been where you are now.

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Nobody's ever going to want me again. Yeah?

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And then I met Roy.

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All I'm saying is they do exist.

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So where do I find my Roy?

0:16:370:16:39

Don't s'pose either of you two have seen Alfie, have you?

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-He's at Ian's. Well, he was half hour ago.

-I'm going to skin him alive.

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Listen, Ian... .

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Yeah, I know, you've gotta go.

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-Yeah but I hate leaving you when you're like this though, mate.

-I'll be all right.

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Not like I haven't been here before. I'll cope.

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-BANGING ON DOOR

-Alfie, are you in there?

-I'm in here, sweetheart.

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-We should be halfway to Luton by now.

-I should've called you.

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Kat, don't blame him, OK? It was my fault.

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-I'll get the kids. I'll be waiting in the car.

-Kat...

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Don't be cross with him.

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-Listen, you're not going to sit here and brood, are you?

-No, I've got plenty to do.

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-Brilliant. That's the spirit, mate. You keep busy, all right?

-And you

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have a good holiday, all right. And keep working at it. Never give up.

0:17:420:17:46

-See you, mate.

-See you, bud.

-Take care. See you later.

0:17:490:17:52

"BARGAIN HUNT" ON TV

0:18:030:18:07

Gone to milk the cow, has she?

0:18:110:18:14

So, Mandy, what do you do for a living?

0:18:180:18:21

I take my clothes off.

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For men a little bit like you.

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Oh... That's different.

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Only now I'm going to go and put some on. Sorry.

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Kat, what was I supposed to do, eh? The bloke was on the floor.

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-I should've known you were probably doing something kind.

-It wasn't about kindness, it was more...

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Come here...

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What's all that about?

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What have I done to deserve you, eh?

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I love you. Come on. Let's go on holiday! Chop chop!

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PHONE

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Mandy!

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Mandy, phone! Mandy?

0:19:200:19:23

Hello?

0:19:250:19:27

No, no, she's not here at the moment.

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She should be back any minute.

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No, I-I'm just a friend. FRONT DOOR CLOSES

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Hang on, I think she's...Pat?

0:19:350:19:37

-What you doing here?

-Sorry... false alarm... Yeah, I can take a message.

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Oh, right. Right, yeah, I'll pass that on.

0:19:440:19:47

-Bye now.

-Who's that?

-It was for Pat. Should be back any minute apparently.

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-Right. So has Mandy gone, then?

-No, she's upstairs, getting dressed.

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-Oh, is she now?

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Mandy? Mandy?!

0:19:590:20:02

Yeah?

0:20:020:20:04

Can I have a word with you, please? Has Pat spoken to you, yet?

0:20:040:20:07

-What do you mean?

-So she hasn't then?

-I don't understand.

0:20:070:20:13

Right, well, I'm afraid you're going to have to go, Mandy, cos there's not enough room here.

0:20:130:20:16

I know it's tough, but that is life and Pat and I, we discussed this earlier so it's not just me.

0:20:160:20:22

FRONT DOOR CLOSES

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Mum? How was it?

0:20:450:20:47

-What's she doing here?

-Roxy's just dumped her on me, basically.

0:20:490:20:53

-I thought you had a class.

-Yeah, I did.

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-So where's Roxy, then?

-Still at the salon.

0:20:570:21:01

-Did the rep not come?

-Yeah, but she said she was needed at the desk.

0:21:010:21:05

She said she'd pick her up by lunchtime but it's lunchtime now.

0:21:050:21:07

-Yeah but that's not fair on you, is it?

-Come and sit down and tell me how you're feeling.

0:21:070:21:13

Tired. I was falling asleep in the car on the way back.

0:21:170:21:23

-Did you get the shopping?

-Yep, and it's all put away.

0:21:240:21:28

Thank you, darling.

0:21:280:21:30

I feel so sick.

0:21:320:21:34

Right, so do you want me to cook dinner tonight, then?

0:21:370:21:41

-Could you?

-Yeah, course.

0:21:410:21:44

Listen, I'm meant to be meeting someone at the pub for lunch.

0:21:440:21:48

Oh, right. You go. I'll look after her.

0:21:480:21:50

I've got a few minutes.

0:21:520:21:53

Oh, darling, I am grateful. You know that, don't you?

0:21:560:22:02

Don't know how I'd cope without you.

0:22:020:22:04

It's OK, Mum.

0:22:060:22:08

KNOCK ON DOOR

0:22:220:22:25

Hello?

0:22:250:22:26

What do you want?

0:22:320:22:34

-Got a vase?

-Under the sink.

0:22:370:22:42

So where's Tyler now?

0:22:520:22:53

Oh, he's probably in the Vic. That's where he is most lunchtimes.

0:22:530:22:56

-You know what I'd do if I was you?

-No, I can't, Pat.

0:22:560:22:59

So what are you going to do? Avoid him for the rest of your life? Listen.

0:22:590:23:03

-Do you like him?

-I thought I did, yeah.

0:23:030:23:07

So sort it out. Doesn't have to end in a fight.

0:23:070:23:10

And you'll feel much better afterwards, believe me.

0:23:100:23:12

So what do I actually say?

0:23:120:23:15

You say,

0:23:150:23:17

"What happened to me happened. There's nothing I can do to change that.

0:23:170:23:21

"It's only a problem if you choose to make it a problem."

0:23:210:23:24

Can I write that down?

0:23:240:23:26

Just do it, girl!

0:23:260:23:30

-All right?

-Not really, bruv.

0:23:360:23:40

-Why's that then?

-Nothing...

0:23:400:23:44

I just gotta make a quick phone call, all right.

0:23:440:23:47

-You OK for a drink?

-Yeah, yeah, I'm cool, thanks.

0:23:470:23:49

PHONE VIBRATES

0:23:550:23:58

One minute they're all up for it. Next minute they're not.

0:24:130:24:16

And somehow we're supposed to know. We ain't mind readers, are we?

0:24:160:24:19

Hold tight, are we talking about Whitney now?

0:24:190:24:22

All that stuff she's gone through has basically done her head in.

0:24:220:24:25

Not so much a boyfriend she needs as a shrink.

0:24:250:24:28

-I beg your pardon?

-Wotcha.

0:24:290:24:33

-Fancy a drink?

-I asked you a question.

0:24:330:24:36

It's not what it sounded like.

0:24:360:24:39

I came in here to say one thing...

0:24:390:24:41

I don't give a damn what you think of me.

0:24:430:24:45

I don't need your approval...

0:24:450:24:47

I don't need anyone's approval. And if you don't like it, then tough.

0:24:470:24:49

And what are you staring at?

0:24:530:24:55

That's what I'm dealing with.

0:24:560:24:59

Where are you going?

0:25:020:25:03

-Whit!

-Leave me alone.

0:25:040:25:06

Whitney! Come here, babe.

0:25:060:25:09

-Come here.

-No!

-It's all right.

0:25:090:25:11

This is me.

0:25:110:25:13

'You did what?'

0:25:380:25:40

She was never going to leave on her own.

0:25:400:25:42

I was in the middle of dealing with it. You had no right!

0:25:420:25:45

Is he moving in too?

0:25:450:25:47

Sorry?

0:25:470:25:48

Never mind.

0:25:490:25:51

Come in, Norman. Sorry about this. It's one of them days.

0:25:530:25:57

I wanted to take you out for lunch.

0:25:570:25:59

Not today, if you don't mind. My head's not in the right place.

0:25:590:26:01

-Tomorrow?

-Maybe.

0:26:010:26:03

You had a phone call, about ten minutes ago.

0:26:030:26:05

Your son, Simon, in New Zealand.

0:26:050:26:08

-What did he want?

-Didn't say. Wanted you to call him straight back.

0:26:080:26:12

Straight back?

0:26:120:26:14

Is it likely to be a problem?

0:26:140:26:17

Yeah. It's the middle of the night, there must be a problem.

0:26:170:26:21

Si? It's Mum.

0:26:250:26:28

What's happened?

0:26:280:26:29

-No...!

-Pat?

0:26:320:26:33

Oh, my God...

0:26:330:26:36

So... you haven't been to the police then?

0:26:370:26:39

Maybe to get myself locked up but that's about it.

0:26:390:26:42

Look, I'm not staying. I just came to get some stuff.

0:26:460:26:49

Hold on, where are you gonna go?

0:26:490:26:52

-I'll be all right.

-Will you?

0:26:520:26:55

You know me.

0:26:570:27:00

I don't actually think I do.

0:27:000:27:02

-Oh, Ian...

-I don't think I know anything any more. I mean,

0:27:020:27:05

I'm not what people think I am, OK.

0:27:050:27:08

I'm not rich, I'm not successful, I'm not a leading local businessman.

0:27:080:27:12

I'm just a fraud.

0:27:120:27:15

-You're a nice guy. You are.

-Yeah, right. You've changed your tune, haven't you?

0:27:150:27:19

Pat said a lot of nice things about you.

0:27:210:27:24

-Things I would not have guessed.

-Really?

0:27:240:27:27

She said that you can be really kind

0:27:290:27:32

and that deep down you just want to be loved.

0:27:320:27:35

I'm like that too.

0:27:370:27:40

I guess that's all any of us really want, isn't it?

0:27:420:27:46

Only I'm not a very nice guy, so is it any wonder?

0:27:460:27:51

You ARE a nice guy.

0:27:510:27:54

With or without a flash car.

0:27:540:27:57

What you saying?

0:28:010:28:04

Are you saying we can try again?

0:28:040:28:07

Yeah?

0:28:070:28:09

Only properly this time.

0:28:110:28:14

What do you mean?

0:28:140:28:16

Let's get married.

0:28:190:28:21

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0:28:480:28:51

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0:28:510:28:54

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