House Guest Doctors

I'm just heading off.

Yes, I know it's a 2½ hour drive.

Yes. I've got everything I need.

OK, see you about 10:30. Bye.

-Sure you want to spend the night?

-He'll have to. It's a 2½ hour drive.

"The brilliant, incisive and dashingly handsome King's Counsel, Oliver Nash..."

Sound like anyone you know?

-Someone die?

-No such luck.

He's staying at Auntie Ag's tonight.

Give her my love.

-Bye, then.

-Bye.

Can't wait to get rid of me, can she?

Bye-bye.

And good luck.

-How do you feel about someone staying the night tonight?

-A boyfriend?

-Friend.

-Male or female?

-Male.

-But a friend?

-Yes.

-Who?

-Perry Ace.

-Oh! That lovely lad you went to infants school with?

-Yeah.

When did you get back in touch with him?

When is Mummy coming back?

Community payback? You said he was lovely.

YOU said he was lovely.

-When he was five.

-He just needs somewhere to stay.

Why can't he stop at his mum and dad's?

Cos they're the problem. His dad's a nutter.

-Beats them. Now he says Perry attacked him.

-Why can't his mum tell them what happened?

-She's gone AWOL.

-What do you mean AWOL?

-She goes off sometimes.

You know, with other blokes.

-Really?

-All he needs is another address to be bailed to.

-Bailed?!

-Not money, just someone who'll vouch for him.

Based on what - that he was quite helpful when he was five?

Based on if you don't, they'll lock him up till his mum gets back, on remand, in prison.

-What will your dad say?

-Perry'll be gone by the time he gets back.

-How do you know that?

-His mum only ever stays away one night.

-Why can't he go and stay in prison for one night?

-Do you know what it's like in there?

-Do YOU?

-No. I'm not having him stop the night.

-But he's scared and he's sensitive.

If they lock him up in prison...

who knows what'll happen.

No. I'm sorry, I'm going to say no.

-You can't.

-Excuse me?

-Someone came round from the police station yesterday to check it was OK.

-Who?

-A new PC.

-You don't know him.

-And?

And I told him we'd look after Perry.

And I'm telling you we won't.

DOORBELL RINGS I told him that I was you.

You what?!

I said I was Mrs Hollins.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury...

Killing her own child, how could she do that?

-Maybe he deserved it?

-Perry?

-Yeah.

-What you doing here?

You're not going to tell Dad, are you?

Mum? Perry needs us.

He's not stopping here the night.

What if his mum doesn't turn up?

He'll have to go back inside.

Mum!

And I don't want him here on his own.

-You going to take him to work?

-No. You're going to take him with you.

What about my presentation?

Don't tell Dad.

I'm not going to tell your dad.

You are...Mrs Hollins.

It was a breath of fresh air.

Batteries recharged. Enthusiasm.

You look fantastic on it.

-Doesn't she?

-Yeah, brilliant.

It wasn't all work. I did go to the hotel gym.

Treat myself to a couple of massages. You have no idea how guilty I feel.

But...maybe feeling re-invigorated worked.

I got taken aside by the Birmingham head of education. He definitely wants me to apply.

-Getting a job here, moving - it's all starting to feel real.

-It's perfect for the whole family.

She hasn't even applied yet, let alone got it.

But she will. And she will.

-And we're all 100% behind her, aren't we?

-Yeah!

-Jack thinks I'm mad.

-That's good.

But after everything he's been through, it's probably the last thing he needs.

-This lad's mum just up and left him. What else could I do?

-What indeed?

Hopefully it won't effect him too much. He can just throw his energy into this court case thing.

-What court case?

-Something that health visitor's come up with, Marina what's-her-face.

-Marina Bonnaire?

-Been here five minutes and she's got him involved in some nutty reconstruction.

He was up all last night studying the papers. Might not be that bad cos at least he's going to win.

What are you going to do for money?

-Just what I get, and what my dad gives me.

-Your dad gives you money?

He gives me a kicking,

-then gives me money when he's sobered up.

-That's awful.

Are you doing art?

-Yeah. I've got a presentation this afternoon.

-What on?

-I'll think of something.

Don't think about it too much, cos sometimes when you do

-you won't be able to figure out how to finish it off.

-I know.

You shouldn't be getting locked up because your dad's beating you.

That's what they don't get.

Once they put you inside, it makes you a criminal.

I appreciate it, honestly. Especially with your dad...

-I haven't told him.

-Really?

-Why should I?

We paid for what we did.

Why should we be picked on for it afterwards? One mistake. That's all.

Thing is... I might have made more than one.

He's right. I'm obsessed.

He didn't actually say that.

Maybe I am just thinking of myself, not them.

Sally, come on, you know that's not true.

It's easy to be selfish though, forget what's important.

The course was great. The job.

Possibility of a job.

But being away from Patrick and Chloe...

I don't know, family first.

Then career.

Sorry. It's Patrick I should be apologising to.

So, what did I miss?

-Sorry?

-While I was gone.

Did I miss anything?

No.

What about the car crash, Daddy?

-Ah, the esteemed Mr Templeton.

-Sorry?

-Counsel for the defence.

-I wanted to have a word with you.

Be quick. I'm off on a visit.

-You didn't tell me I was going to lose.

-I gave you the brief.

-I thought that was for show.

-No, it's got all the details of the case in it.

-Yes, but I lose?

Not necessarily.

There's going to be a jury.

-In the original trial...

-Yes, in the original trial, the defence fails.

But they were very different times. That's the whole point of the experiment.

-So I'm supposed to succeed where the esteemed Mr Templeton failed?

-That's the idea.

-Up against Jack Hollins?

-What difference does that make?

-He's a law student and local celebrity. Everyone will be on his side.

To be an advocate requires intellect and theatre.

And knowing the law.

But you look like a barrister.

Heston, you've got such presence and you command real respect.

In my own field of expertise, of course.

-What are you doing for lunch?

-Don't know, I hadn't thought about that.

-Meet me at 2:10pm. Give you chance to go through all the papers.

-Marina?

Then we can decide whether you're up to it or not.

-You were in a car crash?

-I just ran into someone.

And had to go to hospital?

-It was a precaution.

-When were you going to tell me?

-When we were on our own.

-Why didn't you just say?

I feel stupid.

-But the car... I was bound to find out.

-I know.

Where were you going?

-Just for a drive.

-A drive. Where to?

Nowhere, really.

Is everything all right?

Yeah, fine. Everything's fine.

Maybe it's knocked some sense into me.

Why do you need sense knocking into you?

I still don't understand why you didn't tell me.

Yeah, I agree with you. I told him to.

But you know the male pride thing.

-You sure you're OK?

-Yeah, fine.

You can tell me anything.

You know that.

Thanks a lot. Bye.

-So you've already been to prison?

-Just on remand.

-Longest two week of my life.

-Two weeks?

-I can't go back.

-Why were you there that long on remand?

-Same thing.

-Scrap with my dad. Mum ran off.

-Your mum and dad left you there?

-Teach me a lesson, I suppose.

What was it like?

-In prison?

-Yeah.

-You really want to know?

-TELEPHONE RINGS

Campus Health Centre.

Yeah, sure, I'll just have a look.

What are you doing?

The judge is going to be sitting up there.

I thought we were going for lunch.

You can pick up a sandwich at the supermarket.

And you're going to be down here.

You don't believe she deserves a second crack of the whip, do you?

-No, of course. She was absurdly treated.

-Exactly.

I just don't think I'm the right man to present the case.

Heston, it's about handling the emotions.

And I'm best suited to do that?

Yes, you're a man of the world, you won't personalise the proceedings.

Bring all my buttoned-up repression to bear?

I don't know you very well but that's not how I'd describe you.

I don't know YOU very well.

I thought it was going to be a bit of fun, centenary celebrations, a performance.

Who is the judge?

The Head of Law. Allan Dorman.

Sir Allan Dorman?

Yes, don't let that intimidate you.

As far as I can see, all the evidence points one way.

Oh, you've roped Jack in as well.

A mother killing her baby.

Who's to say what happened?

-The jury did.

-Social mores of the day.

-Right and wrong doesn't change.

But attitudes can.

Not to murder. Murder's murder.

Let's not use our big guns in rehearsal, eh?

I thought we were going to get some lunch?

I agree, let's get out of here.

Can all be a bit daunting when you're not used to it.

Oh, I don't think so.

-When you've performed life-saving surgery on the Head of Law.

-Really?

Allan did say, if there was ever anything he could do to help... Come on, Jack.

Why? If your parents were the reason you were in there in the first place?

-You still love 'em, no matter what they do.

-What about that one?

-That's Sanskrit.

-What's it mean?

-"First love".

-Why not just write her name?

-Have you got any?

-I wouldn't do that to myself.

-Why not?

-Why would I?

-Cos we're different.

-I don't need to write it on my skin.

You know it's going to last.

My mum and dad are going to be there for me anyway.

Lucky you. I want people to know who I am.

-So do I, but through my art.

-What do you think these are?

-Yeah, but you didn't do them.

-I did these.

-In prison?

-Yeah.

Why? If you were only in two weeks.

It makes you realise what's important.

-I thought you were from Letherbridge 8?

-Bit posh for prison.

So you did it to fit in?

More to belong. Say, "This is what I am."

-I'm not going to hide away cos I'm some criminal.

-You're not a criminal.

-I've got a record.

-So have I.

-But you're trying to hide it.

-Cos I don't have a tattoo?

-Do you tell people?

-The people who need to already know.

-What about the rest?

-It's none of their business.

-I thought being an artist was about being honest.

-Telling people I got caught shoplifting?

-No, being honest to yourself. Why are you denying it?

-I'm not denying anything.

Sorry. Is Cherry around?

-On a house visit.

-Right.

And yet I've still got to keep my head down? Not walk too close lest anyone sees?

-What about your college friends, your lecturer, do they know?

-No.

But maybe you're right...

Maybe it's about time they did know.

-What do you think?

-It's a great opportunity.

I'm going to apply.

See what happens. Even if nothing comes of it.

-Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

-Exactly.

But if I do get it, we're going to need somewhere to live.

You can stay here, you know that.

Which will be lovely, but long term...

I just thought if anyone would know about property round here.

Well, there is one website which I've been keeping an eye on for Jimmi and Cherry at the Mill.

Oh, that looks nice.

It's got a swimming pool.

Think of the money you'd save on the gym.

What about that one?

I could walk to work from there.

Sounds great.

What about my work?

-You've wanted to leave for years.

-Yeah, but not move.

-Don't you think we're getting a bit carried away?

-It could be just what we need.

Don't you think we should discuss this first?

I'm going to leave you to it.

Everyone is branded by society.

Whether it's a criminal record -

like me and Perry -

or a list of qualifications...

or tattoos...

done in prison...

or in a parlour.

Art...or telling the world who you really are?

Because it's not just the world putting its mark on you,

it's about you showing the world what you believe.

Some of it's allegiance -

your football team, family, fitting in.

But at the same time, it's about individuality, defiance.

The world disapproves, but it's your body and you'll do what you want with it.

You think that I'm damaged.

Well, I'm going to turn that damage into art.

Perry's body is his own canvas,

he's his own walking art installation.

LB7 - not one of the nicer postcodes.

"ACAB" - Always Carry A Bible.

And this one...

is Sanskrit...

For Imogen.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury...

I'm just a student. He's mates with the judge.

-And you're a lawyer.

-Cold feet?

-No.

-I think a modern jury will think my client is a scapegoat.

That's not what the facts say.

-But are they the facts?

-From what I've read. And I'm a lawyer.

You'll both be fine.

The witnesses and evidence are the same as the original,

-it's just up to you how you present it.

-And all this is going to be on camera?

So the jury can view it online.

If the jury can see it, does that mean anybody can?

-I suppose so. If they wanted to.

-Cold feet?

-We could just call it quits?

-Honours even?

-You can't just leave me in the lurch.

Dinner tonight.

Let me change your minds.

All too big or needed too much work.

-A project'll keep Patrick busy.

-Is he not going to get a job up here?

-I don't know.

I don't even know if they're even going to do it.

Well, wish them luck. We can't find anything we like.

We're beginning to wonder if it's ever going to happen.

Imogen? Wait, wait! I made it up. It means "first love", the tattoo.

Then why did you say it's my name?

Because it's you. My first love. Ever since we first met.

-But nothing has ever happened.

-It could have.

-No. Why would you say that?

-Because we're the same.

-Because we've both done community payback?

-No, because we both know how each other feel.

-I don't know how you feel.

-You do.

-Well, I don't.

-Imogen, what you hiding from?

-I'm not hiding from anything.

-You're saying there's nothing between us?

-No, nothing at all.

-OK, I'll go.

-Go where?

-Anywhere.

-You can't.

-Why?

-Because you're my responsibility.

-What's the point in me staying?

Because I'll get in trouble if you don't. And so will my family.

-Your dad doesn't know I'm here.

-My mum.

-You're trying to make me feel sorry for your parents.

-No, I'm trying to make you do what's right.

Your dad doesn't beat you up, and your mum doesn't go running off with other blokes, so don't start.

I told my mum that I would look after you, so that's what I'll do. And as for my dad...

Hello, love. Hang on.

-How are you?

-Yeah, good. You?

-Yeah, I'm good, thanks.

Listen, I've got Perry Ace here and I'm bringing him home.

Imogen...

Immie?

You going to make me a liar?

MUFFLED: I'll put the application in.

-What happens when you get the job?

-Fine, we won't change anything. We'll stay as we are.

Patrick doesn't want to move?

I don't know what he wants.

-I don't think he does.

-Would it help if you talked to somebody?

Like who, a marriage guidance counsellor?

Sorry.

Actually, no. I was thinking more along the lines of a house-hunter.

I found this woman on the internet.

-Mum?

-Excuse me.

Hey.

-I'm not comfortable with all this.

-Please don't start.

If I was going to start, Patrick,

I'd tell her the truth.

In there.

Then I'll deal with you.

-Where's Imogen?

-She's in there.

-Who's she?

-I have no idea.

My husband's driven back from Harrogate?

-Imogen phoned him.

-Why?

-She said she didn't want to lie to him.

Where did you get those done?

-Where do you think?

-You've been in prison before?

-Would that have made any difference?

-I wouldn't have had you here anyway.

-More sense than your daughter.

-Older and wiser.

-That's what I've got to look forward to?

-Eh?

-If me and Immie get together.

-That's not going to be happening.

-Says who?

-She doesn't see you like that.

-How do you know?

-She told me.

-Maybe she lied.

-Except like you say, she doesn't.

I'm her mum. I'd know.

How's your mum?

I don't know.

I don't even know where she is.

-Well, wherever she is, I'm sure she's thinking of you.

-While she's with one of her boyfriends?

I went on a school trip with you once. You and your mum.

And she would not stop talking about you.

You were the apple of her eye.

Bailed to a copper's house. I bet he's loving this.

-It's not about you.

-Oh, really? When the station call me back, he's out.

His dad beat him up.

That's what he always says. Did he tell you that it'd happened before?

-Yes.

-Did he tell you that he'd been to prison?

-Yes.

-Oh! What were you thinking?

-That he needed somewhere to go.

-I'm a policeman, for Pete's sake.

-You weren't going to be here.

-Does that make it any better?

-No.

But that's why I called you back.

I didn't want to lie.

And...he's in love with me.

Dear God!

Oh, dear.

Oh, dear. Oh, dear.

-Have you seen his tattoo?

-Which one?

-"A-C-A-B".

-Always Carry A Bible.

-Is that what he told you it meant?

-Well, what does it mean?

-All coppers are...

-That's exactly the word I was going to call him when you phoned me.

-Why shouldn't he hate the police?

-Cos we stopped him beating up his dad?

-I told you, it was the other way around.

Well, maybe it was.

-So Perry should hate him.

-Well, he's not going to.

I don't fancy him. We're not even going to be mates, but he hasn't had the chances that I've had.

I'm lucky - I've got a dad like you.

-Can I have that in writing?

-Not everyone has.

I do know that, remember.

Then you should understand.

Why do you think I've got a soft spot for your Auntie Ag?

-Why?

-Because when my dad was being violent, she was always there for me.

-So you had someone looking out for you, in other words.

-Mm-hm.

Dinner!

You said yourself, you think it's the dad who's to blame.

-I still think it's too soon.

-We don't want to be left high and dry.

It's up to you,

but I put the house-hunter in touch with Cherry and Jimmi. If you want to tag along...

-It's a great idea.

-It'll give you an idea at least.

-She seems very nice.

-Like the nice lady who took care of Daddy?

What lady?

I gave Patrick some house details yesterday,

and I twisted his arm to take a look.

-And you went?

-Yes.

-With an estate agent?

-Yes.

I felt a bit stupid so I asked Mum not to say anything. Thank you.

-Well, the good news is you're not against the idea of moving.

-That is good, isn't it?

-To house-hunting.

-To house-hunting.

To house-hunting.

As you say, Jack's a local celebrity.

Is that the sort of adulation I can expect?

If you choose to appear on behalf of the defence, yes.

Only if I win.

Who's to say you won't?

You don't give up, do you?

No, I don't.

Sorry, I know it's my treat but would you mind ordering?

-I'm not really that bothered about food.

-I've noticed.

I don't mind watching other people enjoy themselves. So, will you?

-I'm just...

-Appear for the defence?

So have you thought about what you're going to do for a career, Perry?

-I was thinking of an NVQ.

-What in?

-Don't know.

-How about needlework?

TELEPHONE RINGS

-Aren't you going to get that?

-Me?

-You're the lady of the house.

Hello?

It's the station.

Rob Hollins.

Thank you very much.

Your dad's dropped the charges.

-What about my mum?

-Don't know.

-You're not going to go and stay with your dad, are you?

-Don't know.

You can't stay here. I'm sorry, it wouldn't be appropriate.

That's right, isn't it?

What do you think?

-What?

-What do you think we should do?

Look, I'll just go.

For what? To have another fight with your old man?

Maybe you should wait till your mum gets back,

then talk it through the three of you.

I'll give you a lift in the morning.

I'll make a spare bed up in the living room.

-Thank you, Mr and Mrs Hollins.

-TELEPHONE RINGS

Oh, no.

Auntie Ag. I'm so sorry. Something came up, an emergency.

I know, I'm sorry.

-You wash, I'll dry.

-OK.

Food just doesn't do much for me, I'm afraid.

Posset is a pleasure of the flesh.

Not of this flesh.

You found my weakness, too.

-It would mean a lot if you could do this for me.

-I know it would.

-I'll give you all the help I can.

-Like you need any more.

-I beg your pardon?

-Your friend, the judge.

-I don't know what you mean.

-The surgery you did on the judge.

-Oh, I wouldn't count on that.

-But you told me...

-You shouldn't believe everything you hear.

You made it up?

-Would I?

-That's terrible.

This is going to be so exciting!

Can I help you, mate?

I hear you're prosecuting the Watson re-enactment.

Actually, I'm glad I've got you on your own.

I will... improvise.

Well, I'm glad you are not representing me.

You being all clever is giving me the raging horn.

Our relationship's purely professional!

-You sound just like you father.

-I should've known you'd get that in.

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