Pulp Friction Doctors


Pulp Friction

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3,017 hippopotamus,

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3,018 hippopotamus, 3,019 hippopotamus, 3,020 hippopotamus,

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-3,021 hippopotamus... 3,0...

-PHONE RINGS

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'..22 hippopotamus, 3,023 hippopotamus, 3,024 hippopotamus, 3,025...'

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PHONE RINGS OUT

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Devon, it's me. Look, this is ridiculous.

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I'm coming in. I'm coming in, whether you like it or not.

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3,027 hippopotamus, 3,028 hippopotamus,

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'3,029 hippopotamus, 3,030 hippopotamus...'

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SHE WINCES

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Damn!

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TANGO MUSIC PLAYS Come on, you've got to feel the passion!

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-I've got a headache!

-No, you haven't.

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YOU have got an aversion to work, that's what you got.

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-Mum!

-WHINY: What?

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-Funny(!)

-Come on, you've got to see the bigger picture.

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-You're not going to spend the rest of your life here.

-What, tango, the bigger picture?

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Sometimes it helps to have goals to get you through the day.

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-Like a bucket list?

-Exactly.

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Right, and can you tell me how your midlife crisis music is going to help me?

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SWITCHES MUSIC OFF

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3,250 hippopotamus,

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3,251 hippopotamus,

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-3,252 hippopotamus...

-Devon?

-3,253 hippopotamus...

-Devon, it's me.

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-3,254 hippopotamus...

-Come on, open up!

-3,255 hippopotamus, 3,256 hippopotamus,

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-3,257 hippopotamus...

-KEYS JANGLE

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3,258 hippopotamus, 3,259 hippopotamus...

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Stop!

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Well?

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Tell me!

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Three thousand, two hundred, and sixty.

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Aw-w! Poor little Miss Slow Coach.

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DOOR OPENS, FOOTSTEPS APPROACH

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Look at you, early bird.

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-Seize the day, and all that.

-Exactly.

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-Wow, not bad! Are these the order forms?

-All done.

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What are you after? Carry on like this, Julia's going to have to give you a raise.

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-And why would Julia do that?

-Because she is putting us all to shame.

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-We don't need those till next week.

-Very impressive, Lauren.

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-It was nothing...

-False modesty, waste of time.

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-It was nothing.

-That's good work.

-Because...it was all Immie.

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-Really?

-Really?!

-Yeah, she's been a Trojan.

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Really getting stuck in. Teaching me a thing or two, I can tell you.

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It's very good to see someone taking the initiative. Well done, you.

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-Thanks.

-That's my girl!

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Listen, talking of someone getting stuck in, you need to see this.

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Is this right?

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-Nearly. Chest out, buttocks in.

-Oh, hello.

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Feels good, doesn't it?

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Strangely satisfying, yeah.

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You learnt this at uni, you say?

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-Yeah, did a term, then had to knuckle down. Always meant to pick it up.

-Ah.

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What's this one called?

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Wild Horse Shakes His Mane.

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Wild Horse Shakes His Mane. Wow!

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LAUGHTER

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-Oh, Daniel, that was so beautiful.

-It was really lovely.

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Yeah, just supporting a colleague by embracing your list.

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Well, you certainly did that.

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-He did, didn't he(?)

-Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.

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We know.

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I'm leaving now. Excuse me.

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-Daniel?

-Yes.

-Don't forget to shake your mane! LAUGHTER

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OMG!

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Now that was a joy to behold.

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-What's so funny?

-"What's so funny?" You're joking!

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How did you get him to do that?

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-He was just interested in the list. Was it that funny?

-Made my week.

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Made my year.

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That was an inspired start, Elaine.

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-Ah, it's just a start. It's not going to be holding pole position for much longer.

-Why? What've you got?

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-TANGO MUSIC PLAYS Tango?

-Tango's good.

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-Is it?

-Definitely is.

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Al Pacino, Scent Of A Woman. Hoo-ha, Charlie.

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-What's that move called?

-Er... He Bends Her Over Slowly. Week One.

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Will you get off me?

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Oh, wow! I'm in! Immie, put that down on the list.

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-And while you're there, put down - "Road trip with Harley Davidson".

-How about bungee jumping?

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-No!

-Golf?

-Absolutely not!

-No chance.

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This is a list to inspire.

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A list of dreams. In fact...

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"List of dreams."

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Oh! Oh! What about a rock concert?! I haven't been to one for ages.

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-Yes! Let's do it. And while we're at it, why don't we go the whole hog?

-Oh!

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Mum!

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-What?!

-You are married to a policeman.

-He doesn't have to know!

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LAUGHTER

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-Hi, Kevin.

-Ladies, you all right?

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-Fine.

-Look, I've got to get to the campus. There's no-one out here on reception,

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-and as it's nearly time to open up...

-That's OK. We'll deal with it.

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It's not a long time.

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I know it doesn't seem like a long time, but it is.

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Look, there's only her and me and we are really close.

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I speak to her two or three times a day on the phone.

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We say goodnight before we go to bed. We tell each other everything.

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-Look, a week for us IS a really long time.

-Her room...

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-What about it?

-You say it's been emptied.

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-Couldn't she just have moved out?

-No, she wouldn't do that!

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I spoke to some of the students in her block and they've not seen her for ages. I know my daughter.

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She wouldn't just disappear.

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-OK.

-Help me.

-OK, OK, we'll make some enquiries, see where we're at.

-Thank you, Sergeant.

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-Ouch!

-What is it?

-Annoying stitch.

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Oh, poor Little Miss Slow Coach!

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Shut up, it hurts.

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-Oh, diddums.

-A little sympathy wouldn't go amiss, you know.

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Sympathy? Why would I bother? You never listen to...

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I do!

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All right, I'll try again.

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You can't train through this.

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If you want to be a superwoman tri-athlete,

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you need to accept that occasionally

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-you need to give your body a rest.

-I do.

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Then take today off. Let's see if the world still exists.

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-We can't.

-Why not?

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Because we have to open up.

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-Think of the thirsty customers.

-Forget the customers!

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-The customers pay for the nice things.

-Let's go out for the day, or else!

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You are unbearably cute, do you know that?

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Yes, I do.

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We're not going.

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-Why not?

-Rule four.

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Four?

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You win.

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I know.

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Bareback horse ride...

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..at dusk...

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..with...

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..George Clooney.

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Do you think George will be available?

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-He might be.

-I don't think Rob will let me do it bareback.

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"Lasso the moon."

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-What?

-It's A Wonderful Life, the film.

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James Stewart says to Donna Reed...

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"What do you want, Mary? You want the moon?

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"Just say the word and I'll throw a lasso around it and pull it down."

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A list of dreams. You were right.

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Lasso the moon.

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Yeah, but in reality, it's all still dreams, isn't it?

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George would be nice, but...

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Rubbish! Dare me to book something by the end of the day.

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-What?

-Dare me.

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OK, I dare you.

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-If George isn't available, I'll have Brad.

-Ha! Deal.

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-She's in a hurry.

-Where are you off to?

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Campus. I'm working with Lauren all afternoon.

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-She offered to give me a lift. More to the point, where are you off to?

-I dread to think.

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No. It's still not coming through.

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Are you sure it's not a problem your end?

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What green light? I can't see a green light.

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Can you see a green light?

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Hang on a minute.

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Yeah, yeah, I've got it now! Must have been a loose connection. OK, thanks.

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Devon Mears. Hmm!

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-She's rock'n'roll!

-She's not rock'n'roll!

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She is! My mum's on the money, but there's no way

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she'd suggest getting off her box at a rock concert. Not for a work's do!

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Your mum is the bomb!

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-Immie!

-The bomb!

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-Shut up!

-The bombmeister!

-Imogen!

-Yeah?

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I need your help.

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-I'm just going to do some work now.

-The bomb!

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Come in. Shut the door.

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-What do you need?

-I'm stressed out and I need to get this completed

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-by the end of the day.

-Let's have a look.

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We've got to transfer the patient numbers

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over to a new booking system.

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-But there's thousands and thousands.

-I know!

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Right. Well, I guess that we'll have to transfer them all over manually.

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I knew it would be your thing.

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-This is going to take us all day.

-No. It's going to take YOU all day.

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Like I said - "your thing".

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-That is impossible!

-Better pull your finger out, hadn't you?

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People are relying on you, Immie, including your mum...

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"the bomb".

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You did what?!

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I dared her. She's going to organise something for next week.

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-Least it'll be something sensible.

-Wouldn't be so sure. She wants to lasso the moon.

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Wants to what?

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Don't start, t'ai chi king.

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I think that t'ai chi is the least of your problems, I'd say.

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Mud wrestling!

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I'd buy a ticket.

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-I'm not doing that.

-You suggested the list.

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-You dared her.

-I know.

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-Sometimes things come out of my mouth and they're not what I mean.

-No kidding?!

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I don't even know what tombstoning is.

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-You not seen her?

-No.

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-Look, well, take the photo. Please keep an eye out for her.

-OK.

-Yeah?

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Yes?

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-No.

-What is it?

-I got hold of admissions.

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-And?

-Devon quit her course and accommodation five weeks ago.

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That's not possible.

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I spoke to her last week.

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She's coming up to her final year.

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What is she playing at?

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-What's this?

-It's a letter citing medical reasons for her quitting her course and it's signed by you.

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-This is nonsense.

-Is it?

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Yes.

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Has she got a medical condition?

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No.

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Well, yeah, depression. She gets depressed.

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She takes Lithium, she manages it.

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-Did you sign it?

-No! Of course not.

0:13:080:13:12

Why would I try and get her off her course?

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I fought for her to do it.

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So who did sign it? Devon?

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She would never do something like this.

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-Not on her own. Something has happened to her, hasn't it?

-We don't know that.

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-She probably just wants a bit of space.

-From what?

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Me?

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Oh, come on, my son disappears all the time.

0:13:320:13:35

It's kids. They fly the nest.

0:13:350:13:37

That's your son, not my daughter.

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Something's happened. We've got to find her. Please, look, take the picture.

0:13:400:13:46

Please.

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-How do you feel?

-Really good, thanks. You should definitely come.

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Great, so I'll see you guys there? Brilliant, eight o'clock. Awesome. Cheers. See you later.

0:13:540:14:00

We've been invited out! You'll love these guys. I saw them in my first year.

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They're old-school rock chicks, So up your street!

0:14:040:14:08

-What did I do?

-You were flirting.

0:14:100:14:12

-I wasn't...

-Upstairs, now.

0:14:120:14:16

Devon, stop.

0:14:230:14:26

Devon, baby, please.

0:14:260:14:28

I can't help it.

0:14:300:14:31

-I'm a monster.

-Yes.

0:14:330:14:36

I don't deserve you.

0:14:360:14:38

No.

0:14:380:14:40

I'm good in bed, though.

0:14:400:14:42

-No.

-What?

0:14:460:14:49

Joke.

0:14:490:14:51

Meet me in the middle?

0:14:530:14:54

-It shouldn't BE like this.

-I know.

0:14:590:15:02

We're better than this.

0:15:020:15:04

I know.

0:15:040:15:05

Give me time.

0:15:080:15:10

-A juice bar?

-They make fruit drinks.

-I know what it is!

0:15:440:15:46

I don't know what she's doing in one, or what she may or may not be doing with an older woman.

0:15:460:15:52

-She looked happy.

-Oh, that's all right, then!

0:15:520:15:55

OK, take it easy. She's safe.

0:15:550:15:57

-She's not missing.

-Yes, yes.

0:15:570:16:00

I'm sorry. You're right.

0:16:000:16:01

-Go and talk to her.

-Yeah, thanks.

0:16:010:16:04

Daughters, eh?

0:16:060:16:07

-Yes! That's fantastic.

-Bye, Dave.

0:16:120:16:14

Yes, there's three of us.

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And we don't have to bring anything special, everything is provided for?

0:16:160:16:20

Mrs Wilkins, you're up next.

0:16:200:16:22

No, no, we're all novices. Yes, virgins, so to speak. Thank you. Great.

0:16:220:16:29

It's my mum!

0:16:310:16:32

Where is she? Don't mess me about. Where is she?

0:16:380:16:41

-I don't know who you're talking about.

-Devon.

-Never heard of her.

-Don't lie.

-Is she your girlfriend?

0:16:410:16:47

She's my daughter. You know it.

0:16:470:16:49

I see. You're the mother, the one who called her all the time,

0:16:490:16:52

-ran her life and suffocated her.

-She said that?

-I didn't make it up.

-So you are seeing her?

0:16:520:16:57

-No. She left me.

-Why are you doing this? This is my daughter!

0:16:570:17:00

I'll tell you why. Because she begged me to help her.

0:17:000:17:03

Because she wanted a little freedom away from Mummy, and I gave it her.

0:17:030:17:07

-You faked the letter.

-I've never seen anybody as happy when we packed up her room.

0:17:070:17:11

"Finally," she said, "I'm free."

0:17:110:17:13

So where is she?

0:17:130:17:16

-Gone.

-I don't believe you.

0:17:160:17:18

-If she meant so much, if she was so precious, you'd never have let her go.

-Listen to yourself!

0:17:180:17:23

Of course I would. Relationships end. It's natural.

0:17:230:17:26

-We move on.

-I'm her mother.

0:17:260:17:29

I miss her!

0:17:290:17:30

Well, you're too late.

0:17:300:17:32

-Now I want you to get out.

-No.

-Out, I said!

0:17:320:17:36

Devon!

0:17:410:17:43

BANGS ON DOOR

0:17:430:17:44

Devon, if you're in there, I love you!

0:17:440:17:47

-I don't care! I want to see him now.

-It's all right, Pete, I've got this.

0:18:070:18:12

That cow told me they'd split up. Threw me out!

0:18:120:18:16

-You've been to the juice bar?

-Of course I did!

-OK. Calm down.

0:18:160:18:19

I don't want to calm down! You were there. You saw her. You know she was lying.

0:18:190:18:23

Yes, I do.

0:18:230:18:25

But why? I don't understand why she would do that.

0:18:250:18:28

-Come with me. Talk to her, please?

-I don't think I can at the moment.

0:18:280:18:32

Please.

0:18:320:18:34

-OK. All right.

-Thank you.

0:18:350:18:38

She forged my signature.

0:18:380:18:40

-And she admitted that?

-Yes.

0:18:400:18:41

She made me feel like I'm a bad mother and I'm not a bad... I'm a good mother.

0:18:410:18:46

Devon would be lost without me.

0:18:460:18:47

-I'm all she has.

-All right, wait here.

0:18:470:18:52

Come on. I made the booking. I lassoed the moon.

0:18:530:18:57

-I am not wearing a wet suit!

-What?

-Tombstoning. I looked it up.

0:18:570:19:00

It's throwing yourself off a cliff in a wet suit. I'm not doing it.

0:19:000:19:03

-I'm not Zorbing either, I don't even know what it is.

-It's rolling down a hill in a ball.

0:19:030:19:08

-Like a hamster?!

-Actually we're not doing anything from the list.

-Why?

0:19:080:19:12

It was all booked. I had to go "off piste".

0:19:120:19:15

-Uh-oh.

-Besides which, Daniel was responsible for the last four suggestions.

0:19:150:19:20

Daniel!

0:19:200:19:21

-He's been messing with the list?

-Mud wrestling, me? I don't think so.

0:19:210:19:25

Oh, wait until I get him.

0:19:250:19:27

-It's in hand. Now do you want to know what we're doing or not?

-Yes.

-Please.

0:19:270:19:32

Life drawing!

0:19:320:19:35

Life drawing?

0:19:350:19:37

It's the study of the human form.

0:19:370:19:39

It's fat blokes in the nude.

0:19:390:19:41

Oh, I nearly forgot...

0:19:410:19:43

(Don't worry...)

0:19:430:19:45

Charcoal.

0:19:450:19:46

-To practise with.

-Oh.

-Lovely.

0:19:460:19:50

Now I think we'd better vacate the staffroom...

0:19:500:19:53

-Why?

-I put salt in his tea.

0:19:530:19:56

Strangely satisfying!

0:19:560:19:58

HE SPITS AND COUGHS

0:20:000:20:02

< TYPING

0:20:020:20:05

What are you doing?

0:20:180:20:20

I just wanted to let her know I'm OK.

0:20:220:20:26

No, Saskia, please stop! You're hurting me! Saskia, please stop!

0:20:260:20:31

Number six! Read it.

0:20:310:20:32

-We do not use the internet unless supervised.

-Again.

0:20:320:20:37

We do not use the internet unless supervised.

0:20:370:20:42

-I'm sorry.

-We did them together, because we care.

0:20:430:20:47

I love you.

0:20:500:20:52

BOTH: "We belong to each other.

0:20:590:21:01

"We support each other.

0:21:010:21:04

"We belong to each other.

0:21:040:21:06

"We support each other.

0:21:060:21:09

"We need each other.

0:21:090:21:11

"We do not need others.

0:21:110:21:14

"We do not use the phone unless supervised.

0:21:140:21:17

"We do not use the internet unless supervised."

0:21:170:21:20

-I'll meet you outside. I just want to check in on Immie.

-Hurry up. I won't wait all night.

0:21:200:21:24

Yes, you will.

0:21:240:21:26

Unbelievable.

0:21:260:21:28

Immie, have a good night!

0:21:280:21:29

We're off. You OK to lock up?

0:21:290:21:32

-Sure.

-How have you got on?

0:21:320:21:34

-Nearly finished.

-All of it?

0:21:340:21:37

Impressive.

0:21:370:21:39

-Just realised I totally forgot to tell you.

-Tell me what?

0:21:390:21:42

It's funny, cos computers are so much more you than me, but that guy from IT

0:21:420:21:47

was in with his dicky tummy again.

0:21:470:21:48

Apparently you can transfer the whole lot in one go.

0:21:480:21:52

-I don't understand.

-Me neither.

0:21:520:21:55

But you just need to select all, then click on the icon.

0:21:550:21:59

Like magic.

0:21:590:22:02

What about all of my work?

0:22:030:22:05

I don't know what to say. I guess just delete it.

0:22:070:22:11

-Still good to lock up?

-Of course.

0:22:120:22:15

Good girl.

0:22:150:22:17

Devon? Devon, are you in there?

0:22:220:22:26

"We belong to each other. We support each other."

0:22:280:22:31

Devon? If you're in, open the door please.

0:22:310:22:34

-Devon?

-I don't think anyone's in.

0:22:340:22:36

-We don't know that!

-I'm sorry, Mrs Mears.

0:22:360:22:41

-Just break in.

-I can't do that.

0:22:410:22:43

-Break in!

-We need just cause.

-If it was your daughter, there'd be one.

0:22:430:22:47

Devon? Devon, please!

0:22:470:22:49

BOTH: "We support each other..."

0:22:490:22:50

Devon! >

0:22:500:22:51

Your bloody mum.

0:22:510:22:53

Leave us alone!

0:22:530:22:56

-She wants to take you away.

-She doesn't. She just wants to know I'm OK.

0:22:560:22:59

Of course you're OK. Why wouldn't you be?

0:22:590:23:01

< Devon!

0:23:010:23:02

-You're not having her.

-This has gone too far.

-What has?

-This.

0:23:020:23:07

-I'm your Little Miss Slow Coach, aren't I?

-Of course.

-Then you have to trust me.

0:23:070:23:11

PHONE RINGS

0:23:110:23:12

-Leave it.

-Let me speak to her.

-No, I said.

-Please.

0:23:120:23:15

-No!

-Don't.

0:23:150:23:18

-Devon, can you hear us?

-Who's that?

-I don't know. Get off.

0:23:180:23:21

-Stay still.

-No!

0:23:210:23:23

Argh!

0:23:230:23:25

THUD

0:23:250:23:26

PHONE CONTINUES TO RING

0:23:260:23:31

Devon, are you there?

0:23:470:23:49

Don't. Devon, don't.

0:23:580:24:00

Hello?

0:24:050:24:07

SIREN

0:24:320:24:34

Where's Saskia?

0:24:470:24:48

On her way to St Phil's. It's quite a nasty break.

0:24:480:24:54

We don't care.

0:24:540:24:55

-I do.

-What?!

0:24:550:24:57

-I care.

-Don't be ridiculous.

0:24:570:25:01

You've had a really lucky escape, but I'm here now. You're safe.

0:25:010:25:05

No, I'm not.

0:25:050:25:07

Of course you are!

0:25:070:25:10

Come back with me and it will be just like it was.

0:25:100:25:13

I don't want it to be.

0:25:130:25:15

I love you, Mum, but...

0:25:150:25:17

-I'm me because of you.

-Now listen to me...

0:25:190:25:22

Actually, I need a word with Devon on her own. If you don't mind?

0:25:220:25:26

But...

0:25:260:25:29

-I'm her mum.

-I know.

0:25:290:25:31

Thank you.

0:25:310:25:32

I'll be downstairs.

0:25:350:25:37

I left home to find out who I was,

0:25:420:25:46

to break free from...

0:25:460:25:48

And I ended up here.

0:25:480:25:51

How did that happen?

0:25:510:25:54

-I don't know. But you'll sort it.

-Do you really believe that?

0:25:540:25:58

Yes, I do.

0:25:580:26:01

What did you want to talk to me about?

0:26:010:26:03

We need to look into what happened to Saskia.

0:26:030:26:06

-Will I be charged?

-I don't know.

0:26:060:26:10

PHONE RINGS

0:26:140:26:16

Hi.

0:26:160:26:18

I'm heading home. Just checking you got the pasta.

0:26:180:26:21

-I forgot.

-Immie!

0:26:210:26:24

-I've been busy.

-Well, so am I! If you say you're going to do something you've got to do it.

0:26:240:26:28

-Else people will think they can't rely on you.

-Sorry.

0:26:280:26:32

Don't worry, I'll do it.

0:26:320:26:35

How was your day?

0:26:350:26:36

Fine.

0:26:410:26:42

-You sure?

-Yeah. Bye.

0:26:420:26:46

SHE SIGHS

0:26:510:26:53

I want you to breathe into that.

0:26:550:26:57

This is Ali Mowbray, she's having a panic attack.

0:26:570:27:00

I might just give him a ring and check.

0:27:000:27:02

Dr Carter's very busy, Imogen.

0:27:020:27:04

I'm your line manager - anything you want to know should go through me.

0:27:040:27:08

I haven't got time to sit around on a beanbag thinking beautiful thoughts.

0:27:080:27:12

I'm partly responsible for this mess,

0:27:120:27:15

so it needs to be me that sorts it out.

0:27:150:27:16

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0:27:320:27:35

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0:27:350:27:38

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