Pulp Friction Doctors

3,017 hippopotamus,

3,018 hippopotamus, 3,019 hippopotamus, 3,020 hippopotamus,

-3,021 hippopotamus... 3,0...

-PHONE RINGS

'..22 hippopotamus, 3,023 hippopotamus, 3,024 hippopotamus, 3,025...'

PHONE RINGS OUT

Devon, it's me. Look, this is ridiculous.

I'm coming in. I'm coming in, whether you like it or not.

3,027 hippopotamus, 3,028 hippopotamus,

'3,029 hippopotamus, 3,030 hippopotamus...'

SHE WINCES

Damn!

TANGO MUSIC PLAYS Come on, you've got to feel the passion!

-I've got a headache!

-No, you haven't.

YOU have got an aversion to work, that's what you got.

-Mum!

-WHINY: What?

-Funny(!)

-Come on, you've got to see the bigger picture.

-You're not going to spend the rest of your life here.

-What, tango, the bigger picture?

Sometimes it helps to have goals to get you through the day.

-Like a bucket list?

-Exactly.

Right, and can you tell me how your midlife crisis music is going to help me?

SWITCHES MUSIC OFF

3,250 hippopotamus,

3,251 hippopotamus,

-3,252 hippopotamus...

-Devon?

-3,253 hippopotamus...

-Devon, it's me.

-3,254 hippopotamus...

-Come on, open up!

-3,255 hippopotamus, 3,256 hippopotamus,

-3,257 hippopotamus...

-KEYS JANGLE

3,258 hippopotamus, 3,259 hippopotamus...

Stop!

Well?

Tell me!

Three thousand, two hundred, and sixty.

Aw-w! Poor little Miss Slow Coach.

DOOR OPENS, FOOTSTEPS APPROACH

Look at you, early bird.

-Seize the day, and all that.

-Exactly.

-Wow, not bad! Are these the order forms?

-All done.

What are you after? Carry on like this, Julia's going to have to give you a raise.

-And why would Julia do that?

-Because she is putting us all to shame.

-We don't need those till next week.

-Very impressive, Lauren.

-It was nothing...

-False modesty, waste of time.

-It was nothing.

-That's good work.

-Because...it was all Immie.

-Really?

-Really?!

-Yeah, she's been a Trojan.

Really getting stuck in. Teaching me a thing or two, I can tell you.

It's very good to see someone taking the initiative. Well done, you.

-Thanks.

-That's my girl!

Listen, talking of someone getting stuck in, you need to see this.

Is this right?

-Nearly. Chest out, buttocks in.

-Oh, hello.

Feels good, doesn't it?

Strangely satisfying, yeah.

You learnt this at uni, you say?

-Yeah, did a term, then had to knuckle down. Always meant to pick it up.

-Ah.

What's this one called?

Wild Horse Shakes His Mane.

Wild Horse Shakes His Mane. Wow!

LAUGHTER

-Oh, Daniel, that was so beautiful.

-It was really lovely.

Yeah, just supporting a colleague by embracing your list.

Well, you certainly did that.

-He did, didn't he(?)

-Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.

We know.

I'm leaving now. Excuse me.

-Daniel?

-Yes.

-Don't forget to shake your mane! LAUGHTER

OMG!

Now that was a joy to behold.

-What's so funny?

-"What's so funny?" You're joking!

How did you get him to do that?

-He was just interested in the list. Was it that funny?

-Made my week.

Made my year.

That was an inspired start, Elaine.

-Ah, it's just a start. It's not going to be holding pole position for much longer.

-Why? What've you got?

-TANGO MUSIC PLAYS Tango?

-Tango's good.

-Is it?

-Definitely is.

Al Pacino, Scent Of A Woman. Hoo-ha, Charlie.

-What's that move called?

-Er... He Bends Her Over Slowly. Week One.

Will you get off me?

Oh, wow! I'm in! Immie, put that down on the list.

-And while you're there, put down - "Road trip with Harley Davidson".

-How about bungee jumping?

-No!

-Golf?

-Absolutely not!

-No chance.

This is a list to inspire.

A list of dreams. In fact...

"List of dreams."

Oh! Oh! What about a rock concert?! I haven't been to one for ages.

-Yes! Let's do it. And while we're at it, why don't we go the whole hog?

-Oh!

Mum!

-What?!

-You are married to a policeman.

-He doesn't have to know!

LAUGHTER

-Hi, Kevin.

-Ladies, you all right?

-Fine.

-Look, I've got to get to the campus. There's no-one out here on reception,

-and as it's nearly time to open up...

-That's OK. We'll deal with it.

It's not a long time.

I know it doesn't seem like a long time, but it is.

Look, there's only her and me and we are really close.

I speak to her two or three times a day on the phone.

We say goodnight before we go to bed. We tell each other everything.

-Look, a week for us IS a really long time.

-Her room...

-What about it?

-You say it's been emptied.

-Couldn't she just have moved out?

-No, she wouldn't do that!

I spoke to some of the students in her block and they've not seen her for ages. I know my daughter.

She wouldn't just disappear.

-OK.

-Help me.

-OK, OK, we'll make some enquiries, see where we're at.

-Thank you, Sergeant.

-Ouch!

-What is it?

-Annoying stitch.

Oh, poor Little Miss Slow Coach!

Shut up, it hurts.

-Oh, diddums.

-A little sympathy wouldn't go amiss, you know.

Sympathy? Why would I bother? You never listen to...

I do!

All right, I'll try again.

You can't train through this.

If you want to be a superwoman tri-athlete,

you need to accept that occasionally

-you need to give your body a rest.

-I do.

Then take today off. Let's see if the world still exists.

-We can't.

-Why not?

Because we have to open up.

-Think of the thirsty customers.

-Forget the customers!

-The customers pay for the nice things.

-Let's go out for the day, or else!

You are unbearably cute, do you know that?

Yes, I do.

We're not going.

-Why not?

-Rule four.

Four?

You win.

I know.

Bareback horse ride...

..at dusk...

..with...

..George Clooney.

Do you think George will be available?

-He might be.

-I don't think Rob will let me do it bareback.

"Lasso the moon."

-What?

-It's A Wonderful Life, the film.

James Stewart says to Donna Reed...

"What do you want, Mary? You want the moon?

"Just say the word and I'll throw a lasso around it and pull it down."

A list of dreams. You were right.

Lasso the moon.

Yeah, but in reality, it's all still dreams, isn't it?

George would be nice, but...

Rubbish! Dare me to book something by the end of the day.

-What?

-Dare me.

OK, I dare you.

-If George isn't available, I'll have Brad.

-Ha! Deal.

-She's in a hurry.

-Where are you off to?

Campus. I'm working with Lauren all afternoon.

-She offered to give me a lift. More to the point, where are you off to?

-I dread to think.

No. It's still not coming through.

Are you sure it's not a problem your end?

What green light? I can't see a green light.

Can you see a green light?

Hang on a minute.

Yeah, yeah, I've got it now! Must have been a loose connection. OK, thanks.

Devon Mears. Hmm!

-She's rock'n'roll!

-She's not rock'n'roll!

She is! My mum's on the money, but there's no way

she'd suggest getting off her box at a rock concert. Not for a work's do!

Your mum is the bomb!

-Immie!

-The bomb!

-Shut up!

-The bombmeister!

-Imogen!

-Yeah?

I need your help.

-I'm just going to do some work now.

-The bomb!

Come in. Shut the door.

-What do you need?

-I'm stressed out and I need to get this completed

-by the end of the day.

-Let's have a look.

We've got to transfer the patient numbers

over to a new booking system.

-But there's thousands and thousands.

-I know!

Right. Well, I guess that we'll have to transfer them all over manually.

I knew it would be your thing.

-This is going to take us all day.

-No. It's going to take YOU all day.

Like I said - "your thing".

-That is impossible!

-Better pull your finger out, hadn't you?

People are relying on you, Immie, including your mum...

"the bomb".

You did what?!

I dared her. She's going to organise something for next week.

-Least it'll be something sensible.

-Wouldn't be so sure. She wants to lasso the moon.

Wants to what?

Don't start, t'ai chi king.

I think that t'ai chi is the least of your problems, I'd say.

Mud wrestling!

I'd buy a ticket.

-I'm not doing that.

-You suggested the list.

-You dared her.

-I know.

-Sometimes things come out of my mouth and they're not what I mean.

-No kidding?!

I don't even know what tombstoning is.

-You not seen her?

-No.

-Look, well, take the photo. Please keep an eye out for her.

-OK.

-Yeah?

Yes?

-No.

-What is it?

-I got hold of admissions.

-And?

-Devon quit her course and accommodation five weeks ago.

That's not possible.

I spoke to her last week.

She's coming up to her final year.

What is she playing at?

-What's this?

-It's a letter citing medical reasons for her quitting her course and it's signed by you.

-This is nonsense.

-Is it?

Yes.

Has she got a medical condition?

No.

Well, yeah, depression. She gets depressed.

She takes Lithium, she manages it.

-Did you sign it?

-No! Of course not.

Why would I try and get her off her course?

I fought for her to do it.

So who did sign it? Devon?

She would never do something like this.

-Not on her own. Something has happened to her, hasn't it?

-We don't know that.

-She probably just wants a bit of space.

-From what?

Me?

Oh, come on, my son disappears all the time.

It's kids. They fly the nest.

That's your son, not my daughter.

Something's happened. We've got to find her. Please, look, take the picture.

Please.

-How do you feel?

-Really good, thanks. You should definitely come.

Great, so I'll see you guys there? Brilliant, eight o'clock. Awesome. Cheers. See you later.

We've been invited out! You'll love these guys. I saw them in my first year.

They're old-school rock chicks, So up your street!

-What did I do?

-You were flirting.

-I wasn't...

-Upstairs, now.

Devon, stop.

Devon, baby, please.

I can't help it.

-I'm a monster.

-Yes.

I don't deserve you.

No.

I'm good in bed, though.

-No.

-What?

Joke.

Meet me in the middle?

-It shouldn't BE like this.

-I know.

We're better than this.

I know.

Give me time.

-A juice bar?

-They make fruit drinks.

-I know what it is!

I don't know what she's doing in one, or what she may or may not be doing with an older woman.

-She looked happy.

-Oh, that's all right, then!

OK, take it easy. She's safe.

-She's not missing.

-Yes, yes.

I'm sorry. You're right.

-Go and talk to her.

-Yeah, thanks.

Daughters, eh?

-Yes! That's fantastic.

-Bye, Dave.

Yes, there's three of us.

And we don't have to bring anything special, everything is provided for?

Mrs Wilkins, you're up next.

No, no, we're all novices. Yes, virgins, so to speak. Thank you. Great.

It's my mum!

Where is she? Don't mess me about. Where is she?

-I don't know who you're talking about.

-Devon.

-Never heard of her.

-Don't lie.

-Is she your girlfriend?

She's my daughter. You know it.

I see. You're the mother, the one who called her all the time,

-ran her life and suffocated her.

-She said that?

-I didn't make it up.

-So you are seeing her?

-No. She left me.

-Why are you doing this? This is my daughter!

I'll tell you why. Because she begged me to help her.

Because she wanted a little freedom away from Mummy, and I gave it her.

-You faked the letter.

-I've never seen anybody as happy when we packed up her room.

"Finally," she said, "I'm free."

So where is she?

-Gone.

-I don't believe you.

-If she meant so much, if she was so precious, you'd never have let her go.

-Listen to yourself!

Of course I would. Relationships end. It's natural.

-We move on.

-I'm her mother.

I miss her!

Well, you're too late.

-Now I want you to get out.

-No.

-Out, I said!

Devon!

BANGS ON DOOR

Devon, if you're in there, I love you!

-I don't care! I want to see him now.

-It's all right, Pete, I've got this.

That cow told me they'd split up. Threw me out!

-You've been to the juice bar?

-Of course I did!

-OK. Calm down.

I don't want to calm down! You were there. You saw her. You know she was lying.

Yes, I do.

But why? I don't understand why she would do that.

-Come with me. Talk to her, please?

-I don't think I can at the moment.

Please.

-OK. All right.

-Thank you.

She forged my signature.

-And she admitted that?

-Yes.

She made me feel like I'm a bad mother and I'm not a bad... I'm a good mother.

Devon would be lost without me.

-I'm all she has.

-All right, wait here.

Come on. I made the booking. I lassoed the moon.

-I am not wearing a wet suit!

-What?

-Tombstoning. I looked it up.

It's throwing yourself off a cliff in a wet suit. I'm not doing it.

-I'm not Zorbing either, I don't even know what it is.

-It's rolling down a hill in a ball.

-Like a hamster?!

-Actually we're not doing anything from the list.

-Why?

It was all booked. I had to go "off piste".

-Uh-oh.

-Besides which, Daniel was responsible for the last four suggestions.

Daniel!

-He's been messing with the list?

-Mud wrestling, me? I don't think so.

Oh, wait until I get him.

-It's in hand. Now do you want to know what we're doing or not?

-Yes.

-Please.

Life drawing!

Life drawing?

It's the study of the human form.

It's fat blokes in the nude.

Oh, I nearly forgot...

(Don't worry...)

Charcoal.

-To practise with.

-Oh.

-Lovely.

Now I think we'd better vacate the staffroom...

-Why?

-I put salt in his tea.

Strangely satisfying!

HE SPITS AND COUGHS

< TYPING

What are you doing?

I just wanted to let her know I'm OK.

No, Saskia, please stop! You're hurting me! Saskia, please stop!

Number six! Read it.

-We do not use the internet unless supervised.

-Again.

We do not use the internet unless supervised.

-I'm sorry.

-We did them together, because we care.

I love you.

BOTH: "We belong to each other.

"We support each other.

"We belong to each other.

"We support each other.

"We need each other.

"We do not need others.

"We do not use the phone unless supervised.

"We do not use the internet unless supervised."

-I'll meet you outside. I just want to check in on Immie.

-Hurry up. I won't wait all night.

Yes, you will.

Unbelievable.

Immie, have a good night!

We're off. You OK to lock up?

-Sure.

-How have you got on?

-Nearly finished.

-All of it?

Impressive.

-Just realised I totally forgot to tell you.

-Tell me what?

It's funny, cos computers are so much more you than me, but that guy from IT

was in with his dicky tummy again.

Apparently you can transfer the whole lot in one go.

-I don't understand.

-Me neither.

But you just need to select all, then click on the icon.

Like magic.

What about all of my work?

I don't know what to say. I guess just delete it.

-Still good to lock up?

-Of course.

Good girl.

Devon? Devon, are you in there?

"We belong to each other. We support each other."

Devon? If you're in, open the door please.

-Devon?

-I don't think anyone's in.

-We don't know that!

-I'm sorry, Mrs Mears.

-Just break in.

-I can't do that.

-Break in!

-We need just cause.

-If it was your daughter, there'd be one.

Devon? Devon, please!

BOTH: "We support each other..."

Devon! >

Your bloody mum.

Leave us alone!

-She wants to take you away.

-She doesn't. She just wants to know I'm OK.

Of course you're OK. Why wouldn't you be?

< Devon!

-You're not having her.

-This has gone too far.

-What has?

-This.

-I'm your Little Miss Slow Coach, aren't I?

-Of course.

-Then you have to trust me.

PHONE RINGS

-Leave it.

-Let me speak to her.

-No, I said.

-Please.

-No!

-Don't.

-Devon, can you hear us?

-Who's that?

-I don't know. Get off.

-Stay still.

-No!

Argh!

THUD

PHONE CONTINUES TO RING

Devon, are you there?

Don't. Devon, don't.

Hello?

SIREN

Where's Saskia?

On her way to St Phil's. It's quite a nasty break.

We don't care.

-I do.

-What?!

-I care.

-Don't be ridiculous.

You've had a really lucky escape, but I'm here now. You're safe.

No, I'm not.

Of course you are!

Come back with me and it will be just like it was.

I don't want it to be.

I love you, Mum, but...

-I'm me because of you.

-Now listen to me...

Actually, I need a word with Devon on her own. If you don't mind?

But...

-I'm her mum.

-I know.

Thank you.

I'll be downstairs.

I left home to find out who I was,

to break free from...

And I ended up here.

How did that happen?

-I don't know. But you'll sort it.

-Do you really believe that?

Yes, I do.

What did you want to talk to me about?

We need to look into what happened to Saskia.

-Will I be charged?

-I don't know.

PHONE RINGS

Hi.

I'm heading home. Just checking you got the pasta.

-I forgot.

-Immie!

-I've been busy.

-Well, so am I! If you say you're going to do something you've got to do it.

-Else people will think they can't rely on you.

-Sorry.

Don't worry, I'll do it.

How was your day?

Fine.

-You sure?

-Yeah. Bye.

SHE SIGHS

I want you to breathe into that.

This is Ali Mowbray, she's having a panic attack.

I might just give him a ring and check.

Dr Carter's very busy, Imogen.

I'm your line manager - anything you want to know should go through me.

I haven't got time to sit around on a beanbag thinking beautiful thoughts.

I'm partly responsible for this mess,

so it needs to be me that sorts it out.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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